Do You Want to Be “Right” or Do You Want to Be Happy?

This discussion has been going on for a long time. Do you have the burning need to be “Right” even with the possibility that you may create difficulties? May people will choose Happiness. The desire to be Happy outways the NEED to be Right. This does not mean that you can not “get your way” or sacrifice your beliefs and deeper values. It means that you do not ALWAYS have to get the “Last Word” in a disagreement. Gently make your point but do not demand that you are the Winner. (As I write this I realize that Winner and Whiner seems similar as they roll off my tongue…) You can have your “Beliefs” without Demanding full acceptance by everyone in the room, or even the world… (Because you ain’t gonna get that anyway…)

Judgements also get in the way! Relationships with deeply held “Judgements” are not often relationships that breed longterm happiness. Judging other people, their words, their activities, their lifestyle, their beliefs, even their “Looks” can get in the way of deeper connections which can be beneficial, for perspective, if nothing else. Sitting in Judgement separates you. You may feel superior or “Right” but there is ALWAYS another point of view! Be careful when you Judge. At the very least, know when you are “Judging” another person so you can learn from your limitation. (Your limiting view of the world…)

To be Happy is to share your joy! Try to love unconditionally. Try to accept without qualification. For acceptance connects people and differing opinions in a way where there views can become tools for learning and growth. Be “Right” by finding the emotional, mental, and spiritual space to allow for differences.

This is NOT easy and requires compromise in the decision making process. BUT, being too polarized and too “Black and White” is a Judgement that will get in your way to finding deeper peace and a Happy Life.

Blessings and Namaste my Friend.

Masters of the Journey is a worldwide community which supports all people on their spiritual quest with the belief that we are all Masters with wisdom and experiences to share… Join us online or in person. Connect with our Non-religious community and share resources with our members.

Achieving Nirvana

Do you know your purpose in life? Are you living your life with the intention of getting to Heaven or reaching the highest form of consciousness labeled “Nirvana” in the Buddhist tradition? The Buddhists believe that achieving enlightenment is the goal of living and they believe that we live and are reborn to learn the lessons that will lead to enlightenment. The concept of rebirth and reincarnation is known as “Samsara.”

In researching this concept I came across the following definition in Wikipedia:
“Samsara is uncontrollably recurring rebirth, filled with suffering and problems (according to Kalacakra tantra as explained by Dr. A. Berzin). In this sense, Samsara may be translated as ‘Wheel of Suffering.’ The Buddha taught that there are six realms that one can go to through this cycle of Samsara, though Buddhists differ as to whether the realms are actual places or figurative states of mind. Many believe that when one goes through the process of rebirth that they are the exact same person when they are reborn, but this however is not true according to the teachings of Buddha. Beings bear many similarities with their former selves but they are not the same person: this is why many Buddhists use the term rebirth instead of reincarnation. The term reincarnation implies that there is a transfer of one’s soul to the new life, but Buddhists believe this is not the case in Samsara, rebirth is generally considered to be a stream of evolving consciousness. A good example to better understand the transfer of consciousness is like a billiard ball hitting another billiard ball. While nothing physical transfers, the speed and direction of the second ball relate directly to the first. This explains how the previous life has a direct impact on the next life”

So, where are you in your evolution of higher consciousness? Are you living your life in preparation for achieving Nirvana? If this is your life’s purpose, how are you going about this?

Not everyone chooses to follow Buddhism or to meditate daily. Can we all connect with a deeper spirit of consciousness on whatever path we choose? We can learn to trust our intuition and do “right” by others with the highest level of tolerance and without the fear death. We can practice acceptance and offer unconditional love, with no strings attached, to other people struggling to learn the lessons of life. We can choose to volunteer and look for the good in others rather than, through fear and distrust, looking for the things that may divide us. How prepared are you to accept the ultimate transition that we must all face of death (and then face the possible return to learn more lessons in a future life?)

My sister asked me to read a book, The Instruction by Ainsley Macleod. He offers an interesting perspective on living your purpose and developing higher consciousness. It is a basic guide with information and exercises that can assist in the process of spiritual development without subscribing to religious dogma.

No matter how you choose to find and embody your life’s purpose, I support your efforts. Along the way, I encourage you to reach out and assist others in their quest for awakening as we may all reach the end point together. My wish for you is that you may bask in the light of unconditional love and acceptance. Here’s to knowing you in Nirvana!

My colleague and I are founding a new community of support for all who seek higher consciousness through non-denominational spiritual development. We have chosen the name “Masters of the Journey” because we are all Masters with insights to share and experiences that can be valuable learning tools for others on this Journey. This is a Transformational Community welcoming the participation of open-minded members who wish to share wisdom and unconditional love. Please share this blog and join us if you wish the support of this community on YOUR Journey.

Beauty from the Inside Out

Why do people strive to be “Beautiful?” Everyone has a different definition of what beauty is but the main goal of beauty, or working to be beautiful, is to be attractive to a targeted group of people. Attractiveness can take many forms and an understanding of the desires of the target group can assist you in becoming the most attractive and beautiful person you can be.

In Western culture, beauty can be based on desirable physical attributes. Since primitive humans emerged from the other early species, attractiveness was based on physical attributes that could help ensure the survival of the family. Being strong, a good worker, or a good hunter/gatherer were desirable characteristics and attractive in helping to find the best “mates.” These positive characteristics could be passed along to the next generation with the greater possibility of family survival. In the recent past, physical attributes like height, strength, speed, body types, and financial stability (wealth) have become features to identify for attractiveness. Fashion trends often help people to accentuate their best attributes. Make-up and hair styling has added to the ways in which people will present themselves to be most attractive, to their targeted group.

People engage in body altering behaviors to create increased levels of attractiveness. Weight-loss programs, fitness programs, body art, and cosmetic surgical procedures have become fashionable in attempts to alter natural appearance and become more desirable. In the primitive, “survival of the fittest” mentality, people chase their dream of being someone they were not born to be and often find it leads to a lack of self-esteem and lowered feeling of self-worth.

Beauty often comes from feelings of self-confidence. Some of the most “attractive” people you encounter will not meet the standards that are created by the media. Many very attractive people are not tall, blond, blue-eyed, physically well endowed, and sun tanned Gods or Goddesses. In fact, the most “movie ready” actors or models are often some of the most unsuccessful in finding real life happiness and life satisfaction. (Look at the tabloids who ridicule celebrities for every transgression that our celebrities are unlucky enough to find themselves within.) We often fantasize being like our celebrity idols until we see their lives fall apart due the strain of their celebrity and them getting hauled into court for their misbehaviors.

A more positive alternative for most people is to find a positive way to become attractive. To do this, we must look inside, find our very best attributes, enhance these, and then find ways to display these attributes in the very best ways possible. Attractiveness may be your intelligence, your compassion, your positive energy, your skill of empathy, your ability to communicate, your softness, or your sense of humor. (Though from personal experience, I found that my sense of humor was often used as a defense mechanism when I was feeling vulnerable.) The happiest and most successful people I know are the people who allow their beauty to come from the inside out. The most emotionally healthy people are, by their nature, some of the most attractive people I actually know. Fantasizing about beautiful people is OK but in the long run not as satisfying as having healthy attractive people in your life.

We often settle for something, or someone, less than healthy as we search for attractive partners. When we are young, physical attraction and seductive fashions seem to be desirable traps that we must negotiate. It might be better to understand your deepest needs and requirements in a partner than to “settle” for the first person who gives you a positive response or the first person who meets your physical gratifications.

Beautiful people have to work to maintain their health and self-esteem. They will make time and put their resources into self-care by exercising, eating correctly, getting sleep, and practicing regular stress management. They will often create balance in their lives by including expressions of their creativity, having time for positive, nurturing relationships, and spending time in honoring their spiritual pursuits.

People who have addictions and need to block their own relationships with their own history or past traumas, are often struggling to find the beauty within. The addictions can include: alcohol, drugs, medications, food, sex, smoking, spending/hoarding, gambling, and adrenaline sports or activities. These addictions block the pain or anxiety but do not allow for the inner beauty and self-confidence to shine.

A secret to finding your beauty often involves breaking free from a cultural picture of success and beauty. Find your own definition of a healthy compatible partner. Find your own inner strengths and beauties and demonstrate these. Master self-awareness and self-care. Self-awareness entails knowing and understanding both your strengths and your flaws so well that you can accept any weaknesses as your lessons and then find new ways to live where you will not be a victim to any of these imperfections. Finding self-love and acceptance, which may require support and assistance, will be a useful process that can lead to your long term success and happiness. Getting trapped in other people’s expectations or their visions of beauty may lead down a path of unhappiness.

Please take good care of yourself. Thank you for your time and consideration.

If you require life coaching to assist you in developing your self-awareness and self-care, consider coaching from the Stress Education Center available at www.dstress.com

“A Dash of Cinnamon for Peace”

Excerpt from “Pink Hair & Chocolate Cookies” by Laura Lavigne (of the Center for Happiness, Anacortes, WA)

Many years ago, through the course of one of life’s strange turns of events, I met a woman who worked for an adoption agency. During while of our conversations, she unknowingly gifted me with some powerful insight regarding the importance of our attitude.

One of the cases she was managing involved the open adoption of twin baby girls. The girls were placed in two separate homes; part of the open adoption agreement stated that the agency was to provide the birth mom with regular reports about the girls.

When the girls were three years old, both sets of adoptive parents were contacted and presented with a series of questions. One of the questions concerned their appetite.

When asked about her daughter’s eating habits, the first mom expressed her distress: meals, she said, were always a struggle and created much family tension. The little girl would not eat anything, no matter how she prepared it – unless it had cinnamon in it. This made life very difficult and she could not seem to break her child out of the strange habit.

Presented with the same question, the second mom stated that her little girl was a joy to feed: mealtimes were usually pleasant as all the mom had to do was sprinkle a little bit of cinnamon on her daughter’s food in order for her to eat pretty much anything. In fact, she was now keeping a shaker of cinnamon on the table, next to the salt and pepper.
Wow.

The “bigness” of this struck me like a bolt of lightening. Within an instant, I felt as though I had possibly been handed the secret to a happy life. Or to a miserable one.

Stress, I knew, comes mostly from “resisting what is.” Ease, then, possibly comes from creatively celebrating the same. Not always an easy task, not even always a feasible task, but what if it were something we could achieve, let’s say… some of the time?

What if we were to say “to heck with the neighbors and to heck with all the voices in my head” and simply aimed for peace?

What if we weren’t scared? Scared of losing control, scared of looking soft, or like fools, scared that “this” could lead to chaos and anarchy?

What if we were more interested in being happy than in being right?

What if peaceful meals and happy interactions were worth a shaker of cinnamon on the dining room table?
I know that we don’t always choose what comes our way but we almost always choose our reaction to it, and that can mean freedom.

I invite you to take a look, today, at the places in your life where you may be choosing stress; where you may be choosing to be right. And where you may be able to choose to be happy instead.
And who knows? Maybe cinnamon tastes great on mashed potatoes.

“Excerpt from Pink Hair & Chocolate Cookies, by Laura Lavigne. lauralavigne.com” $14.95 – Signed copies
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Anacortes Center for Happiness

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