Have you ever complained about something in your life? Sure, everybody has. Have you ever known someone who seems to live in a state of constant complaining? Sure, you have. Have you ever noticed that people who are generally happy are also the people who seem to take responsibility for their situation, accept their challenges, and find ways of making the best out of a difficult situation? We all have challenges. That is why we were born into our lives. Some people more easily realize the benefits of learning the lessons and some people seem to like to wallow in their grievances.
Today, I spent a long half hour with a person who had a lot of upset about her childhood from 50 years ago. There was victim status and grievances written all over this suffering human. I was at a loss to fix the past childhood mishaps. My listening lost concentration because I was distracted by that “pit of the stomach feeling” that this story was a re-occuring theme and a source of deep satisfaction. Not to the listener but to the storyteller who was a “victim” of this history. There was little acknowledgement of personal responsibility by the story teller, not for the bad experiences, but for not letting them go and moving on in life. This blog is not about my acquaintance but about my lesson and my lack of patience. My mind got “triggered” as it has in the my past when a person seemed to relish their role of living as a victim. I live with my challenges, ghosts, demons, and lessons by seeing how I am responsible for these occurrences and how I can learn from them so I can move on to my next challenge.
There are times when I explain my mistakes, foibles, flaws, and weaknesses by saying, “People like to do what they are good at (and familiar with) even making the same mistake over and over…” It is familiar as a bad habit just like a familiar old annoying friend. So I must learn to celebrate the people I bump into who are deeply invested in living their lives as victims. It is NOT for me to “judge” them but it may not be my role to sit there for half and hour and listen to them complain… Obviously, I must learn my limit of “kindness” in listening and be discerning enough to know that I do not have the job of talking them out of their need to be seen as a victim…
If you have more patience to share with me, I would appreciate any gift to assist me through my lesson. AND, I celebrate you for knowing and acknowledging your responsibility in choosing your lessons in this life.
If you have a story to share, consider sharing with our community, Masters of the Journey. Whether you know it or not, YOU are a Master!
PS. I was whining and sounding like a “victim” in this blog… We all have to try on the various roles and the ones that do not fit well we must discard and look for the roles that do feel correct (or better.)