Contrast

Life’s lessons are created by “contrast.”
Often we might expect our lives to move easily or freely through life experiences and then we hit a glitch. Perhaps a small obstacle or sometimes a great mountain which creates a major recalculation in your life’s path. The contrast from easy, quiet, and meditative to a chasm which must be carefully or forcefully overcome becomes some of the most important learning opportunities. You are tested by these obstacles. The wisdom you gain from your moving through or around this barrier thrown onto your life’s path is a lesson you have come into this life to learn.

In American culture, the English language looks to compare and contrast the objects and activities we experience. Better than, less than, larger, smaller, costlier, cheaper, more solid, more soft, the list goes on with defining things by comparing what they are similar to or dis-similar to. This limited and linear way of defining objects and activities seem easier for the limited 3 dimensional human mind to comprehend. We run into problems when we allow ourselves to be “present” and make attempts to explain emotions, feelings, flavors, or spiritual experiences. For example, how do you explain or define the smell of fresh baking bread? Or, really and fully put words to emotions like love? Sometimes we describe what something is NOT, but this rings hollow. Complicated or complex thoughts or feelings do not lend themselves well to English language definitions.

And, using contrast to define experiences often comes down to saying what something is not or something which seems similar, but is difficult to gracefully define. There is our struggle. Feel things, experience things, appreciate things and then attempt to integrate the full emotion or feelings of these experiences. Do not be lazy! It is work to be present and to sort out a complicated emotion. When we must communicate these feelings, we often turn to psychic expression of emotions which can be transmitted unconsciously. Our communication partner must “resonate” with the vibration you are attempting to communicate. If successful, they will “feel” what you are sending even if the words lack the depth of what you attempt to convey.

And, how do you know where you are on your path through this life without contrast with remembering from where you have started? Whether you know it and appreciate most fully, YOU are moving along your path and expanding your consciousness. By sharing your stories, you can clarify your learnings. You offer yourself and your listener a gift by attempting to share your discovered, or remembered, wisdoms.

Personally, I have learned and developed myself more when I have been confronted by the seemingly negative contrast of a major turn in my life. Upon survival, you can reflect on the situation and grow from the experience. There is much to learn when our “normal and expected path” through life is altered or blocked by a significant contrast. These contrasts are not always negative or seemingly painful, like when you suddenly, unexpectedly, “Fall in Love.” These can be dramatic changes in our “normal” path.

An example which occurred for me 50 years ago when I was barely 19 years of age may symbolize several of the concepts we have just discussed. There are no words which do this experience full justice.
The story: I attended a retreat with some students from UCLA where I was attending college. After “partying” on Friday night, we decided to get serious and do some “work” on Saturday morning. There were 5 or 6 group discussions organized and I “was drawn” (or guided) to attend a discussion on Death and Dying. I am not sure why. At the time, I had not done any research or reading or even much thinking about this topic but I was curious about this one choice in topics. The guy in the front of the room was learning about Kubler-Ross’s work “On Death and Dying.” His leadership technique was to lead a “guided meditation” to find out about Death. This seemed OK. I had NO expectations and I had no resistance. I was very naive about all of this, at that time. So, I followed his guidance and instructions which was to get comfortable, relax, breathe slowly, settle in, and then gently and slowly lift myself out of my body. “No problem” and I went along with these instructions thinking that everyone in the room was able to do this easily. He asked that we drift up and away from our bodies, watching as the image of our bodies got smaller and smaller. So, up into space I went. No problem. At some point, looking down at the speck of my body was not interesting so I turn 180 degrees and headed into the blackness of space. No problem and no fear. I traveled out toward what I considered the direction of death. When I got to what I believed to be half way, I paused. Before me in the blackness was a dark horizon. Emanating from over the horizon was the most beautiful warmth. A glowing warm I “knew” to be “Unconditional Love” and acceptance. In that fraction of a second, I “knew,” or “remembered,” what Divine Love was/is. A feeling of Joy, Freedom, Acceptance, no limitations of space or time, no limitations of consciousness, no limits on communication because everyone already knew everything about me and fully accepted me as a connected part of the the Universal Wholeness. (Notice that all of these words can have an infinite amount of personal interpretations…) It was an instant in my life where these feelings were so strong and clear that I will never forget them, though I am limited in going back and feeling these as if I was fully there. (The clear “thought” of this experience I remember, vividly.) I wanted to stay. I wanted to complete the travel over this dark horizon. It was too wonderful to turn away from. And then, the unheard voice telepathetically said that I had to “go back” for it “was not my time.” I argued. And, I was told “you have things to do and you will be able to return when it was appropriate.” I did not know what that meant or what I was “supposed” to do with my life but grudgingly I turned around and headed back to my body. No big deal. Everyone in the room had done the same. No fear. In fact, with this new consciousness, there was not fear of death or dying. No big deal, I assumed everyone had experienced this. When the exercise was over the guy in the front of the room asked if anyone could share their experience. Since I was one of the youngest, perhaps the youngest, person in the room, I waited and looked around. No one raised their hand. Finally, my impatience lead me to raise my hand and I told my story. The guy in the front of the room started bouncing up and down and looked very excited with my telling of my story. It dawned on me, THEN, that I had been “Gifted” with an amazing experience and my excitement kicked in. I did not know what to do with this experience which was an unexpected contrast to my “normal” life and consciousness. I may never fully integrate this experience into my human life. And, I said previously, this is not something I can pop into any time I want. I have tried. But, the feelings which are not well described, have not been diluted by time. That instant is indelibly etched deep into my life’s memory and life’s experience.

In the years since that out-of-the-body experience (or STE: Spiritual Transformative Experience,) I have retold that story. And, every time it brings up the same wonderful and profound feelings. Though my life’s perspective has changed from experience, I know that my life has been changed from this contrast and expanded awareness. My story resonated with me when I read many accounts of NDE’s (Near Death Experiences.) These “felt” familiar and similar. I have come to feel that these other documented stories somehow validate my out-of-the-body experience from when I was 19 years of age. There are times when I am telling my story or listening to someone’s NDE that we get locked in to the same vibrational resonance. I “KNOW” that when I transition from this Human lifetime, I will get to return to the higher realms and re-experience my Divine unconditional love, acceptance, and connectedness with all in the Universe (and beyond.) This is a huge contrast to what I was taught regarding end of life transitions as a child (younger person.)

Of course there have been difficult contrasts which have added to my consciousness like the death of my wife after 30 years together. Or, the struggle after having my out of the body experience which lead me to leave Los Angeles, UCLA, my home, and all my Southern California lifestyle which lead me to turning 20 in Strasbourg, France and never returning to live in Southern California. The “unknowns” we step into after “contrasts” present themselves almost always require a “stretch” to fit into the changed perspective and lifestyle which is created. Amazing stories to share are created.

You can fit your own life and details into a telling of the major contrasts in your life. Every time you tell or retell these stories you gain in perspective and learn. Your witness is blessed with the possible wisdoms, from experience, you are willingly sharing. A win-win for every participant, if all are open and available for wisdom sharing…

Contrasts can be sharp as in Black and white. They can also be more subtle as in shades of gray. A life of consciousness raising has both. Paying close attention is the sign of one who is moving toward an “Enlightened” state. When possible, do not avoid the contrasts. Learn from new perspectives and adjust your travels accordingly. You have choice and an unconscious need to continue to move forward in these adventures into consciousness. AND, when you are presented with an obstacle on your path through life allow this contrast to offer most fully the learning from this diversion. Sure it feels odd, maybe uncomfortable, but it offers new perspective and possible new wisdoms to live by. The concept “that you can not get the Genie back in the bottle” becomes the twist in your road of life which leads you on an amazing adventure… Along the way, share your stories and your wisdoms…

You are a Blessing! YOU are Loved!

Expectations

Part of our human drama includes living with expectations. A well used saying: “Expectations screw things up…” Because if you “expect” something to happen, then when it does occur, it is no big deal because you assumed it would happen and takes a part of the joy out of the accomplishment… And, when your expectation is NOT met then there can be levels of disappointment because you expected something else to have happened…
It is difficult to live without expectations especially if you expect that you can…

Expectations Definition:
a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future.
“reality had not lived up to expectations”
or
a belief that someone will or should achieve something.
“students had high expectations for their future”
Similar word:
assumption

Where do these come from and how do they affect your life?
External expectations from other people can cause emotional pressure and then there are internal expectations, which are often the more difficult to deal with…
In my world…

Expecting something, especially a personal accomplishment, leads to a diminished celebration of the accomplishment of the expected goal. ‘Cause you expected as much of yourself…

AND…

What if another person, or persons, “Expect” something of you. Their expectation creates an assumed compliance and accomplishment of the behavior, goal, or activity. Perhaps leading to a reduced appreciation due to the assumed expectation… “Well, I expected as much, of you…”
(When does an expectation become an assumed promise??? Even when it is an Unspoken desire.)

How does an expectation of oneself become a burden? For example, as I am getting older, I still assume and expect that I can do things (physically) which I used to be able to do like: run fast or run long or carry big boxes upstairs when helping a friend move… OR, my personal expectation that everyday I will be active and pursue activities of service and “high in value” as my life’s expectations of living at a highly productive level of service… When in my life is it OK to “kick back” and to slow down? When is it OK to rest without guilt? When can an active, assertive person be able, or allow themselves, to be passive? Clearly, I have not learned when or how to be “passive.”

When can my participation in allowing life to flow become an allowed, even celebrated, expectation? When is it OK to have passive participation as a witness or observer rather than down in the arena of active accomplishments. When is it OK to watch and to be the necessary “witness”??? For me, this answer is still in process…

What does it take to understand that when you want to do something “well” but do not have the skill or the strength or the experience to know that an expectation of high level achievement of a certain activity is actually unachievable. This is a struggle in “acceptance” and in “allowing” things to occur rather than as expected… I am not expecting perfection in all things but perhaps expecting an unreasonable higher level of ability based on memories or expectations from the distant past.
When is acceptance of “reasonable” success a victory and not an emotional personal defeat?

I am not saying do not set a difficult goal. However, the emotional baggage of a difficult or undoable expectation can make you feel like you are less than you are. My ego gets involved with internal and external expectations because it wants something that is not quite in hand. If I do not have this thing, will I be unhappy or think/feel that my life is unsatisfying, or a “failure?” Again, my ego has placed me in a no win situation and I can benefit from learning how to be aware and to check my ego’s created expectations.

Is there a graceful way to set limits on the expectations which other people may have for you and your available time and energy? You can not control their expectations or their response to you saying “No” or to your compromising negotiation. Oh well, you can not please everyone all the time. THAT would be an unaccomplishable expectation.

The drama of having expectations in your life and allowing these to affect the way you think and feel about yourself is a challenge to learn from. You are creating these reactions within your mind. A fully conscious spiritual person may take any perceived expectation in stride and instead focus upon the positive, joyful miracles of life. Even laughing or smiling at the misstep of failing in a personal expectation. Living in the “present” moment also helps to lessen the strong emotions which can be attached to a perceived expectation. No matter how you react you can work to maintain a level of higher awareness and perhaps a sense of good humor when a mentally constructed expectation flies across your consciousness. (These can look and feel very silly.)

No easy answers here but lots of great lessons/challenges to learn from. Just keep moving forward and expanding your awareness and consciousness. Share your learnings and wisdom. Find Joy everyday in the miracles you find. This is MY expectation of YOU! Fact, not expectation: You are a Blessing! You are Loved and a part of the Divine Spirit.

And. Finally, having expectations are common. Life is full of lessons learned by attempting new activities which are NOT perfect the first time. If these were perfect the first time, every time, then you have set the bar way too low to reach out and to expand your skills and to test your wisdom. I have learned more from my mistakes and failures than I have learned from my expected successes. Managing your expectations is useful. Learning from your mistakes is an essential part of living as a human. (Example. If we attempted to walk as a baby and fell down the first time and never attempted walking again, we would never have learned to run…)

You are a miracle. Your imperfections make YOU perfect. And, you learn most from your mistakes.

What is Your Journey?

“The Journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” But, what is Your journey and where is it taking YOU? “Life is a Journey” says yet another historic quote. Is it meant to be a literal journey with physical travel or a figurative search through the experience we call life?

We have named our spiritual support community, “Masters of the Journey,” and there have been attempts to help create awareness regarding the concept that YOU are a Master of your life and YOU have much to share from the challenges you have overcome or are struggling to learn from. But, again, what is this Journey?

Each one of us is on a path through this life. In the sense of time, we can conceive that this journey begins with (or maybe before) our birth and travels life until we transition out of this life. For some of us this journey in “time” takes many years of living, for other of us less time, and sometimes only a brief amount of time, if we die at an early age. Viewing the Journey in this context, we consider the early years of learning, the transitioning into adulthood, the work and family building stage, then the slowing down and aging until we call it quits, for this life.

So is this Journey just about physical progression and the learning of life skills? Or, is there something more to our “Purpose” following our path through this incarnation? Have we come into this body and this “life” with an agenda and with specific lessons to learn??? Many people think that we have come “here” (this life) to participate in a purposeful quest for specific experience to gain wisdom or share in other people’s lessons. I think that we arrive in this life with an agenda and it is not just about my learning. It includes lessons for me but it is also for the “greater good” and to assist fellow “pilgrims” to accomplish their learnings and to gain wisdom which helps us all (all of the other children of God.)

If this resonates with your beliefs, then the “Journey” is a sacred voyage. It is a holy pilgrimage which is more about the journey than it is about the destination. What we learn, experience, AND share along the way is the value and the “purpose” of this life. Our “Journey” is Physical, Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual. It may look like we benefit from what we see, or hear, or feel, or “Do,” but it may be even more about what we “Remember” on our search for the perfection and the divine that is within each of us. To remember our Divinity and to find it within each fellow pilgrim we bump into along the way, may be the most important of learnings AND the true “Purpose” of our “Journey.”

Blessings to you on your path. Be as “present” as possible and pay attention to honoring the details which may present themselves to you. A single step may start a thousand mile trip, but small interaction may pose the most important learning you have come to experience in this life. Embrace the efforts of all your fellow travelers, you may have incarnated to assist them in their most important lesson. (And, be OK that YOU may never know the outcome of your interactions.)

If you find that you wish to share your story and your Mastery, consider participation in Masters of the Journey. If you know someone who may benefit from support in the development of spirit but who may not need or respond well to religion share this community with them. Thank you, in advance.