Tag Archives: guided relaxation

Women and Stress In the Modern World

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Need for Stress Management for Women

I believe that everyone is experiencing higher levels of stress in the “Information Age.” The pace of change has accelerated to the point where we are forced to confront more changes and faster paced changes in this day and age, than at any time in the past. Just the pace of development of new information has many of us just spinning to keep up. I remember getting my first new personal business computer in 1989. The hardware and software, though getting old, were still plenty functional for 3 years. I bought a new computer two months ago and I have had to “upgrade the software several times since then and the hardware was “old” when I was taking the machine out of the box.

Since the 1960’s, the pace has increased and roles have changed. There are more women in the work force (with jobs outside of the home/farm.) In fact, in many parts of the country/world, most families require more than one person in the work force just to meet the daily expenses of living. In the early part of this working revolution, there was an assumption by many companies that men should receive more money (higher pay for the same job) because they were the “bread winners” for the family. This has not changed in many parts of this world. There were also many limitations imposed for women in the level of their career developments. Though these attitudes are changing (in many parts of the world), there are still areas that have not been completely addressed. For example, how many working women come home from work with the old expectations that they are responsible for the “homemaking” duties like: dinner preparation, cleaning, shopping, and childcare. Men are gradually, though often grudgingly, taking on their share of many of these tasks (except where the cultural or religious beliefs discourage this evolution.)

Women have special stress management requirements and considerations. Women are often taught (most unconsciously by their families or communities) to not complain about the two careers that they assume, working outside the home and also as the center of home activities. Women need to take care of themselves better, more so now than ever before. They must be better role models to their peers and children in the skills that are needed for self-preservation and improved quality of their lives.

Today, women need to get regular exercise, eat better, and take time for relaxation. Everyone needs to make time for self-care that can also include continuing education, spiritual development, positive relationships, and financial and career planning. The challenge is to find the time and the “support” necessary to make this happen. I know that without this self-care, you are left with a “burned-out,” unhappy, and unhealthy person who the family and the greater world will find, in the long-run will not be able to make the positive contributions that would be ideal. We need to support each other more now ever before. We need to encourage greater health and happiness for all women.

Some men believe that playing aggressive games like football or racquetball are relaxing, and most of the time they are wrong, but women also have their misconceptions about what is relaxing. Women tend to get together with friends or family for meals out, shopping, even “pampering.” Sometimes these activities are not so ideal or even relaxing. Every woman is an individual with her own requirements and needs. Spending money, shopping in crowds, binging on foods (desserts,) even breathing fumes from getting your nails done are not always the most healthy choices. If you do not know what is really “right” for you (and your body) then consider getting some lifestyle coaching and test the options until you “know” what is best for you and what really works. The investment in time and money will save you time and energy in the long run and definitely improve your quality of life. Also, remember that close relationships are important and can be important for stress management. However, healthy relationships start with “healthy” partners/friends and “needy”/demanding friends are not always helpful for personal stress management. (Make good choices where you spend your time and energy…)

Along the way, do not forget to take good care of yourself! Be present and enjoy everyday. Enjoy time with your family and good friends. Find time for gratitude!
Good Health!

L. John Mason, Ph.D. is the author of the best selling “Guide to Stress Reduction.” Since 1977, he has offered Executive Coaching and Training through the Stress Education Center at www.dstress.com.

5 Powerful Stress Management Tools

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There are many stress management techniques. Everyone who has spent time attempting to find the best stress management technique has found that there are many ways to reduce stress. The block to success has been that it requires time and patience to develop the awareness and the skills to allow these techniques to have their maximum benefit. I want to list 5 of my favorite techniques and would encourage you to consider trying one or more of these until you find the ones that work best for you. If you have suffered from: lack of focus, high blood pressure, anxiety/panic, headaches, or sleeping problems, seriously consider learning one or more of the following techniques to minimize stress in your body and to get back in control of your life.

Many people have tried forms of Eastern Meditation to relax. These techniques have been around for thousand of years. The “Western mind” may struggle with the discipline it requires to focus your attention and to then “still” your mind. When coaching busy individuals, I do not start with these techniques, except for some of the basic breathing techniques.

What I do start with, and is #1 on my stress management list, is Autogenic Training phrases. I learned these in 1977 as part of some of my original training in stress management and biofeedback. This is the technique that I use regularly for myself. This style of stress management uses 6 basic phrases that I repeat to myself, each 3 times, and then with practice get to the level of stress management that I desire. First there is a “mood” phrase- “I am at peace with myself and fully relaxed” to get me in the mood to begin relaxation. The text for the entire exercise is available in my books with a chapter dedicated to Autogenic training in “Guide to Stress Reduction.” The six basic phrases include: “My right arm is heavy,” repeated 3 times, (then left arm, right leg, left leg, and neck and shouldes are heavy) (which is used to begin to relax skeletal muscles,) then “My right arm is warm,” slowly repeated 3 times, (then left arm, right leg, left leg, and neck and shoulders are warm) (which is used to improve blood flow and circulation into the extremities,) then “My heart beat is calm and regular,” then “My breathing is calm and regular,” then “My stomach region is warm and calm,” and finally, “My forehead is cool and calm (or smooth.” Amazing results after daily use for 8-12 weeks especially with sympathetic nervous system symptoms like: migraine headaches, high blood pressure, panic/anxiety, distress related digestive challenges, etc

My #2 relaxation favorite is progressive relaxation. There is a whole chapter about this technique in “Guide to Stress Reduction” and many other sources. There two major versions of Progressive Relaxation including an “active version” where you tighten and then release muscle groups and the second form which is the “passive version” of attending to muscles and releasing tension without tightening the muscle groups. This is great for sleeping problems, headaches, neck/shoulder pain, and back pain.

#3 is using Visualization or Imagery for stress management. This is often combined with one of my first 2 choices to deepen a relaxation practice. This involves using your imagination to see or feel or hear or even smell mentally constructed relaxation triggers. As an example, picture yourself on a mental vacation in beautiful place outdoors on a warm and peaceful day. Settle back into what ever you might imagine yourself lying on such a lounge chair or a blanket in the warm sand (or grass.) Imagine that you can feel the warmth of the sunshine or the warm breezes as the tension melts away. Perhaps you can imagine the sounds that might surround you like the sound of waves or running water or the sounds of the birds or the warm breezes. Perhaps you can imagine the smell of salt air, or of the flowers or grasses or of the woods. Imagine that you can soak up the warmth and let the tension melt away. This is fun mental relaxation that can help you to control anxiety and start the process of encouraging healing o begin.

#4 Using special breathing techniques to slow yourself down and distract yourself from stressful experiences. Start with taking 3 slow deep breaths to begin to trigger some relaxation. Then you may want to take 4 breaths by slow counting 1-4 as you inhale, then hold your breath for a count of 1-4, and then slowly exhale as you count 1-8. The counting will occupy your mind and help you to relax. A great counting relaxation at bedtime involves counting backward from 50 down to 1 but do it this way. 50,1,2,3, 49,1,2,3 48,1,2,3, 47,12,3 etc. Your mind can get bored with keeping these numbers in line and gradually drift off into a restful sleep. (key: do not rush through this counting and breathe slowly.)

#5 is using a form of biofeedback to monitor your body’s level of stress and then monitor your learning of relaxation as you “let go” of your stress. There are several forms of biofeedback which are used. EMG biofeedback measures levels of electrical activity, or muscle tension, and teaches you to relax specific muscle groups. A more inexpensive form is temperature biofeedback where you begin by taping a simple thermometer to the side of your index finger and allow yourself to relax until you feel your hands warm above 90 degrees Fahrenheit. 93-95 degrees Fahrenheit is ideal and usually symbolizes relaxation of this system. The reason this works for many people is that when we are under the effects of stress we often constrict blood flow into our hands and feet as a survival response. When you can “let go” and have a vaso-dialation which increases blow flow into your extremities you are better able to “let go” of emotional stress and function at a more ideal level.

Most of these simple, but powerful, stress management techniques are described in “Guide to Stress Reduction” and at the Stress Education Center’s website at www.dstress.com. Audios are available for download as stress management products and are at the core of the 5 session online stress management course. Contact us with any questions or for stress management coaching/training.

More information and detailed stress management techniques are listed at the Stress Education Center’s webpage. Please visit and read the “articles” which may assist you.

Hypnosis for Stress Management

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“Suggestions” for Relaxation: Hypnosis for Stress Management

Recently, I received a request to blog about the use of hypnosis for stress management. “Hypnosis” can be a charged and mis-understood word. Many under-educated people will say that the use of hypnosis is immoral because some religious authority, who has probably used a lot of waking hypnosis, has scared them into believing that “evil” can be done with hypnosis. (In fact, this very negative comment is a hypnotic suggestion that can have huge impact on unaware people.) Putting this aside, hypnosis is a commonly used technique that is used in sales/marketing, health care, and for mental health. Most people have experienced some level of hypnosis or hypnotic “trance” and may not even realize that they have “been under.” As an example, have you ever watch a series of commercials on TV and then can not consciously recall the products that were advertised BUT you find yourself drawn into buying a marketed product when you get to the supermarket like a brand name product (instead of a less expensive generic product, that probably will work about the same…) Or, have you ever been driving down the highway, watching the lane lines flow by, and miss your turn off. These are light trances that happen to most people as they move through life.

Hypnosis is a mental state of relaxation that can vary from a light state of trance to a deep, sleep-like state of trance. In the deeper states of trance, you may “drift-off” into dream-like state where many normal distractions will simply melt away, leaving you comfortable, peaceful, and with greatly reduced anxiety levels. Once in a “trance,” you can allow yourself to accept a “suggestion” that may be able to assist you by working with the “sub-conscious” part of your mind. Most of what actually happens in the brain dwells in the “sub-conscious” part of the mind because there is so much going on in the brain that we could not possibly be “conscious” of all of it. For example, we can not consciously know our heart rate, blood pressure, hormonal activity, all levels of muscle activity, internal temperature/metabolism, and all the micro-adjustments necessary to maintain balance. But, the sub-conscious part of our brains is monitoring and adjusting to subtle changes, unless we are manifesting some sort of ailment. A positive suggestion like: “you are feeling deeply satisfied with the small portion of food you are eating (on your current diet)” can help people to feel better and to lose some weight. A “positive suggestion” is created to be both a positive phrase and placed into the “present” moment of time for this is the best way to reach the sub-conscious part of the mind in a positive way. There is an art to creating the perfect positive suggestion and knowing the ideal time to use this suggestion to get the best results.

The state of hypnosis is truly “self-hypnosis” because most people will not allow themselves to slip into this state of consciousness unwillingly. Also, any suggestion offered will be screened for safety and moral appropriateness by the sub-conscious mind so people will not blindly follow a suggestion and hurt themselves or others unless they would normally do this in their normal lives. 10% of the population are very “suggestable” and will comply with an offered suggestion. These people are great consumers (for commercials are aimed at influencing these people) and a stage hypnotist will select these people for a stage show because they make for entertaining spectacles up on stage. Most people are not nearly as suggestable but can be offered positive suggestions that will work if they are motivated to make the suggested change (and if this change does not go against their normal moral beliefs.)

To go into a “state of hypnosis” or trance, you can relax yourself with many relaxing strategies such as: slow deep breathing, counting slowly backward, progressive relaxations, using autogenic training phrases, focusing on an object like a candle, fireplace, stream, or waves breaking on the beach and then allow yourself to drift into a more calm and peaceful state of mind and body. This act alone is therapeutic because it allows for relaxation, stress/anxiety management, and reduced levels of pain and discomfort. You can also use a more specific “induction” like the one written out on the “articles” page of the Stress Education Center’s website (link at https://dstress.com/basic-guided-relaxation/) to get to a deeper level of relaxation that can be used for self-hypnosis. Once you are relaxed and comfortable, you may want to read or mentally repeat your positive suggestion (maybe 10 times) so this suggestion will begin to drift into the sub-conscious part of your mind. This technique may need to be repeated for several days or even weeks before the suggestion will really work to the best level possible. If you do this work, and are motivated to change, you will find the positive results.

Hypnosis and positive suggestions can be used to control or change habits or behaviors, improve performance and productivity, manage health related challenges, and to enhance the quality of life. Most people can not be forced into making changes unless they are motivate to change so be careful of your expectations if you are ambivalent about what you wish to change.

If you feel that you may want more support or coaching consider contacting the Stress Education Center at www.dstress.com for a personalized coaching program. Please take good care of yourself.

Autogenic Training: Try It, You May Like the Results

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Have you heard about Autogenic Training as a stress management or anxiety control technique? If you haven’t, you should look into it. Since I learned this stress management technique in 1977, I have been using it, with great results, for my relaxation practice.

Autogenic Training was first developed in 1928 in Germany. There has been a lot of research regarding the success of using Autogenic Training Phrases with stress/anxiety related disorders like: panic/anxiety, high blood pressure, migraine headaches, GI disorders, chronic pain, and many other health challenges that are created or made worse by stress. Most of the research and reports are written in French or German so for English speakers this technique may be less familiar. I learned about Autogenics while in training for my career in biofeedback in 1977 and have been using this technique as my personal stress management strategy ever since. It took 6-8 weeks of regular (daily) use for me to get the higher levels of benefit. The skills of relaxation and awareness require at least this amount of practice no matter which stress management technique you try…. so be patient.

Autogenic Training requires that you repeat 6 basic phrases until you feel the desired results. With practice this can be abbreviated into a much shorter period of time. Now, it takes me only about 5 minutes of repeating the phrases to get to the level of relaxation that I desire. This leaves me 10-15 minutes to enjoy the state of deep relaxation in my 15-20 minute relaxation/meditation period. The positive effects of this relaxation generally last for the whole day, at this stage of my life. The 6 basic phrases include:

Begin with a mood phrase to ‘get you in the mood to relax’ by slowly repeating… “I am at peace with myself and fully relaxed.” (Eventually, this phrase will trigger a lot of the relaxation.

1. “My right arm is heavy” (repeated at least 3 times or longer until you can feel your muscles start to relax.) Then change to, “My left arm is heavy” (repeated 3 or more times.) Then relax your legs as you repeat, “My right leg is heavy” repeat 3 or more times. Then switch to, “My left leg is heavy” repeated. Finally, repeat “My neck and shoulders are heavy.” The arms will usually be easier to relax than your legs. The neck and shoulders are generally more difficult for most people and may take as long as 6-12 weeks of practice before you get them to relax.

2. Repeat, “My right arm is warm” (repeated at least 3 or more times to allow the warmth of blood to flow more freely down your arm into your hand and fingers.) Change to, “My left arm is warm” and repeat until you feel warmth or a pulse or a tingling feeling in your hands. Then say, “My right leg is warm” and repeat. Then, “My left leg is warm” repeat. Finally, repeat, “My neck and shoulders are warm” repeat, though this may require many practice sessions.

3. The next phrase to repeat is “My heart beat is calm and regular” repeated to slow your heart rate.

4. Next phrase is “My breathing is calm and regular” repeated slowly.

5. Then say, “My stomach region is warm and calm” and repeat to relax your abdomen.

6. Last phrase to relax the muscles of your head and face is “My forehead is cool and calm” repeated until your forehead and jaw can start to relax.

The return phrase to repeat at the end is, “I am refreshed and alert” repeated and with taking a deep breath.
I will usually say the 6 relaxation phrases and then sit quietly to enjoy the relaxation before I awaken with the “return” phrase. Also, combining these phrases with temperature training biofeedback makes for powerful step before beginning an anxiety control visualization or a desensitization process.

Give it a try. I have seen this technique work very well with many people who could benefit from stress and anxiety management.

More information available on the “articles” page of the Stress Education Center’s website at www.dstress.com.