So, You Want to Be Interesting!

We have an interesting inborn need to be noticed at times in life. Being “interesting” can get you noticed. We can do this in many ways, both through positive recognition and for not so positive activities.

Let’s first define “interesting”:
in·ter·est·ing
adjective: interesting (Quoted from the Internet)
“arousing curiosity or interest; holding or catching the attention.” “an interesting debate”

synonyms: “absorbing, engrossing, fascinating, riveting, gripping, compelling, captivating, engaging, enthralling”

antonyms: “boring” (We do not like being thought of as Dull or BORING!)

We do not usually want to be “Boring” but we may lack the ability to be fascinating, or captivating, or even enthralling. If you are compelled to develop your persona into the most interesting person you can be then this 2 part blog may give you something to consider and some skillsets to work on.

First, and foremost, if you do not want to be boring and you want to be engrossing DO NOT DO BORING THINGS! Put some activities into your life’s experience that ARE interesting! Start by turning off your TV, put down your smartphone, go out and read something which is well written, learn some new stuff, and start actually talking to people (More about how to this in part 2.) It really helps to release your pre-conceived conceptions and judgements so you can make some room for new experiences and knowledge. (Hey, I did not say this was going to be easy!) Meet new people. Ask Questions… AND also, go within yourself to find out who YOU are! At some point, you will not be what you think other people want you to be or a “Copy” of someone else. Being yourself may not sound interesting or sexy BUT it is real and genuine AND THAT IS INTERESTING!

Wow! Did I say to put down your SmartPhone and turn off your TV? What am I crazy? NO, you are to addicted to your technology AND this MAKES you less interesting. Watch people on airplanes, in restaurants, or any place where people are supposed to be meeting. What you now see is people NOT interacting with each other but constantly interaction with their technology as if they would miss something important or interesting if they did not respond instantaneously, 24-7, to their social media laden smartphones. Get a grip on what you were born to do, interact with other people NOT your technology!

What is your alternative behavior?
You have survived many challenges to get to this point in your life. You have learned some stuff from the successes you have had AND even more from your failures (or imperfections.) YOU have a story to tell. Go find it. Practice telling your stories so you can tell these stories better AND find love and find appreciation for the difficult lessons you have survived. Do NOT be a victim. Take responsibility and OWN these tough lessons so you can be the “Master” who you really are! People are attracted to positive energy and may seek to avoid negative, victim type behaviors and attitudes. AND remember, YOU are unique. Your perspective on life, seen through your eyes, is one of a kind! Your sharing of your stories can serve other people as a possible solution to their circumstance or offering hope that we all are in this together and finding similar challenges. (By telling your stories you will gain even more perspective regarding who you really are and about the path that led you to this point in your life.)

You may not fully realize how interesting you and your life truly are until you begin to reach out, first to self-understanding, and then to the act of sharing how YOU have survived in your life. Your survival seems quite simple to you but can amaze the person who has not experienced the weirdness of your family, your work, your schooling, your travels, YOUR LIFE!

Do not deny your “Bigness” because you are much more than the seemingly simple life in your nondescript body! You do not remember your perfection and the Divine Spirit which is at your core.

Part 2 (next blog) offers you some skills to practice. If you would like to join a community which is designed to support you in telling your story, consider participation in a non-religious community such as Masters of the Journey which purpose is to assist people to connect and gain in spiritual consciousness.

Put down your smartphone and go interact with PEOPLE and be the interesting person your ARE!

The Power of Connection

People are basically “social creatures.” Since the dawn of human history, one main trait that separated humans from many in the animal kingdom was the need/desire to band together into communities for survival. We learned to hunt in teams. We have learned how to create different roles and expertise that helps the “tribe” survive and thrive. For example, some people: grow food, some prepare food, some build structures, some care and educate the young members, some minister to the health and spiritual needs of individuals, some protect the tribe, etc. There are a very few of us who can survive without any other people or outside assistance and people who do not require the assistance of other people are rare and these individuals seem to be a vanishing breed.

Relationships with other people have become more complicated. In today’s world, we have family relationships, business/work relationships, spiritual relationships, creativity/productivity relationships, educational/mentoring relationships, and many other attachments related to services that require relationships. Family and friends are necessary for most people. Our earliest survival as an infant requires bonding relationships with care-giving family or friends. (Many physical and emotional challenges develop when children are neglected or do not have strong, trusting bonds with their caregivers.) But most of us have developed an even greater requirement for caring relationships that go beyond the need of physical survival. We now have expectations of emotional connections within “committed relationships” that seem emotionally necessary for survival. This may be a dramatic overstatement of survival, but expectations can, and do, get developed into mental and emotional issues that appear to be necessary for quality of life.

For example, our society, or at least advertisers, has created an “emotional need” for us to be “home with family during the ‘Holidays’.” In the United States, that means that you should be lonely or guilty for not being with “loved ones” during Thanksgiving or Christmas Season. Depression rises. Suicides spike after the “holidays.” Substance abuse increases to cope with emotions of “loneliness” or to help us survive time when we are trapped with family that we have successfully avoided all year long. Financial stress increases. Travelling becomes more stressful. So we need to increase our awareness of the potential emotional victimization we can have to these expectations of connection.

Putting the downside of expectations for connection aside, it is time to address a more significant, day to day, reality of connection. Most of us can improve our quality of life and increase our personal productivity by mental or emotional or spiritual connection with another person or with a group of trusted, like minded people. Our physical health improves. (There have been research studies on increased longevity of married men vs. single men, for example.) Our emotional health improves, if we are involved with healthy people in healthy relationships. We thrive spiritually when we can connect with people or institutions that create an open focus of our higher consciousness. Conversely, when we lose a “loved one” we can lose our physical or emotional health. With a “loss,” our source of loving acceptance can be altered or removed leaving us a gaping hole in our emotional support foundation.

We must understand this possible situation and learn to manage our levels of self-care to adjust for self-nurturing when we experience a significant loss of love and connection. When aware, we can be better prepared for the situation and hopefully avoid becoming a victim to this circumstance. Losses of connection can happen suddenly or over time. They can be from planned lifestyle changes, like moving or job changes, or from random acts that are beyond our control. Regardless, we benefit from discovering our unique needs and requirements for healthy connections. We will do better when we can know how to reach out and get appropriate, positive support when it is needed.

“No man is an island,” is part of a quote by John Donne in 1624 that can be understood to mean that humans benefit from connections and the loss of any connections may contribute to a reduced quality of life.
Please consider how to develop and maintain “healthy” relationships with relatively “healthy” people or institutions. Your physical, emotional, and spiritual health can benefit from “good” connections.

Note: Connections with family are NOT always healthy. Connections at work are not always healthy. Unfortunately, connections with friends are not always healthy, though you have more control over who you have as friends. Please recognize “healthy” relationship connections and nurture these.