A Victim or Are You Responsible?

Have you ever complained about something in your life? Sure, everybody has. Have you ever known someone who seems to live in a state of constant complaining? Sure, you have. Have you ever noticed that people who are generally happy are also the people who seem to take responsibility for their situation, accept their challenges, and find ways of making the best out of a difficult situation? We all have challenges. That is why we were born into our lives. Some people more easily realize the benefits of learning the lessons and some people seem to like to wallow in their grievances.

Today, I spent a long half hour with a person who had a lot of upset about her childhood from 50 years ago. There was victim status and grievances written all over this suffering human. I was at a loss to fix the past childhood mishaps. My listening lost concentration because I was distracted by that “pit of the stomach feeling” that this story was a re-occuring theme and a source of deep satisfaction. Not to the listener but to the storyteller who was a “victim” of this history. There was little acknowledgement of personal responsibility by the story teller, not for the bad experiences, but for not letting them go and moving on in life. This blog is not about my acquaintance but about my lesson and my lack of patience. My mind got “triggered” as it has in the my past when a person seemed to relish their role of living as a victim. I live with my challenges, ghosts, demons, and lessons by seeing how I am responsible for these occurrences and how I can learn from them so I can move on to my next challenge.

There are times when I explain my mistakes, foibles, flaws, and weaknesses by saying, “People like to do what they are good at (and familiar with) even making the same mistake over and over…” It is familiar as a bad habit just like a familiar old annoying friend. So I must learn to celebrate the people I bump into who are deeply invested in living their lives as victims. It is NOT for me to “judge” them but it may not be my role to sit there for half and hour and listen to them complain… Obviously, I must learn my limit of “kindness” in listening and be discerning enough to know that I do not have the job of talking them out of their need to be seen as a victim…

If you have more patience to share with me, I would appreciate any gift to assist me through my lesson. AND, I celebrate you for knowing and acknowledging your responsibility in choosing your lessons in this life. We can all be reminded of our need for personal accountability for the way we respond to the challenges we meet in life. Learn to be responsible for your reactions.

If you have a story to share, consider sharing with our community, Masters of the Journey. Whether you know it or not, YOU are a Master!

PS. I was whining and sounding like a “victim” in this blog… We all have to try on the various roles and the ones that do not fit well we must discard and look for the roles that do feel correct (or better.)

Living in Your Drama

Has life treated you unfairly? Are you willing to share how other people have taken advantage of you? Are you distracted by these past injustices? Do you want to break out of this victim status, or does it work too well for you?

If you want to take back control of your life, YOU have have to change! You have to learn to let go of the old “victim habit” AND find a way to take responsibility. Perhaps you need to hear this message… YOU have made yourself a victim! It is your thinking which creates separation and thinks that some completely unrelated person is doing (or has done) something to you. No one can do something to you without you playing your part in this relationship! This event has happened, and will probably happen again, to you as a special learning that you are needing to learn. Yes, this is your lesson in this life AND it is your partner (the perpetrator) role and lesson.

You want to beat this? Forgive and take responsibility. Learn and let go. This is so easy for me to say AND so hard (difficult) for you to hear, let alone do, because you are so emotionally attached to the “drama.” Whether you know, or believe, it, we are ALL connected and we interact to share the lessons of life. We all have our roles to play and we are here to assist each other with these learnings. Your mind, your emotions, and your ego are taught by our culture to blame other people and to separate ourselves. It is not easy to step outside your pain and to see it from the “other side.” Why did this person do this to you? They have to learn their lesson of creating their Karmic debt so they can pay back this debt at some other time or in some other life.

We do not live in a “Random Universe.” There is a reason for every interaction and your lesson is to fill the “void” with forgiveness and then Love. Your purpose is to serve by role modeling grace, acceptance, forgiveness, and Love. I DO NOT SAY THAT THIS IS EASY OR FUN! This is a challenge and that is why we showed up in this life. AND, if we do not want to return, over and over, to repeat this lesson, we need to break out of the old pattern of response and appreciate all interactions in the most loving way. You can take control! You can be the vehicle for peace and acceptance. You are LOVE! Know the Divine Perfection within you AND let it shine. You are PERFECT!

Meditation in this incarnation helps a great deal! Finding the light of the Divine Spirit within you gives new meaning to your life. Your challenges are not easy or fun, you are here to learn. (This takes work.) You are a blessing! Whether you know it or not, you are a MASTER! You have much to teach and to share! The “Divine Spirit” can not exist without YOU! Yes, you are a small but critical piece of the whole of the Divine Spirit!

It is much easier to learn this with positive support. Please consider the connection with a positive community of acceptance and you may benefit from looking at Masters of the Journey. No matter what… YOU are a blessing and the Universe needs you to learn and progress through your lessons. We will support you BUT YOU need to make the choice to take responsibility and to choose Love over fear!

What is Your Journey?

“The Journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” But, what is Your journey and where is it taking YOU? “Life is a Journey” says yet another historic quote. Is it meant to be a literal journey with physical travel or a figurative search through the experience we call life?

We have named our spiritual support community, “Masters of the Journey,” and there have been attempts to help create awareness regarding the concept that YOU are a Master of your life and YOU have much to share from the challenges you have overcome or are struggling to learn from. But, again, what is this Journey?

Each one of us is on a path through this life. In the sense of time, we can conceive that this journey begins with (or maybe before) our birth and travels life until we transition out of this life. For some of us this journey in “time” takes many years of living, for other of us less time, and sometimes only a brief amount of time, if we die at an early age. Viewing the Journey in this context, we consider the early years of learning, the transitioning into adulthood, the work and family building stage, then the slowing down and aging until we call it quits, for this life.

So is this Journey just about physical progression and the learning of life skills? Or, is there something more to our “Purpose” following our path through this incarnation? Have we come into this body and this “life” with an agenda and with specific lessons to learn??? Many people think that we have come “here” (this life) to participate in a purposeful quest for specific experience to gain wisdom or share in other people’s lessons. I think that we arrive in this life with an agenda and it is not just about my learning. It includes lessons for me but it is also for the “greater good” and to assist fellow “pilgrims” to accomplish their learnings and to gain wisdom which helps us all (all of the other children of God.)

If this resonates with your beliefs, then the “Journey” is a sacred voyage. It is a holy pilgrimage which is more about the journey than it is about the destination. What we learn, experience, AND share along the way is the value and the “purpose” of this life. Our “Journey” is Physical, Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual. It may look like we benefit from what we see, or hear, or feel, or “Do,” but it may be even more about what we “Remember” on our search for the perfection and the divine that is within each of us. To remember our Divinity and to find it within each fellow pilgrim we bump into along the way, may be the most important of learnings AND the true “Purpose” of our “Journey.”

Blessings to you on your path. Be as “present” as possible and pay attention to honoring the details which may present themselves to you. A single step may start a thousand mile trip, but small interaction may pose the most important learning you have come to experience in this life. Embrace the efforts of all your fellow travelers, you may have incarnated to assist them in their most important lesson. (And, be OK that YOU may never know the outcome of your interactions.)

If you find that you wish to share your story and your Mastery, consider participation in Masters of the Journey. If you know someone who may benefit from support in the development of spirit but who may not need or respond well to religion share this community with them. Thank you, in advance.

Learning from Loss and Tragedy

Have you ever suffered a loss? Of course, who hasn’t? Even if this loss was a “Tragedy,” was there some benefit from the lesson you had to learn?

Every human has suffered from a loss? The loss of a job. The loss of a relationship. The loss of money or property. The loss of your innocence. The loss of a loved one, a friend, a parent, a sibling, a close family member, or a child can be a difficult, if not devastating, challenge. The most difficult group I ever had to speak with was a support group for parents who had lost their child. Many in this group were suffering. Some even after many, many years after the death. A parent’s grief is especially difficult.

My reason in writing this blog comes from my own experience with loss and grief. I seemed to manage with the death of my father when I was 35 years old. My mother passed when I was almost 51. I thought I knew something about loss and grief. The greatest lesson was when my life partner, wife, and friend, Barbara, passed away from Ovarian Cancer when I was 61. I thought that I was prepared because we had 8.5 years after receiving her “terminal” diagnosis. My naivety protected me right up until the reality of the “void” set in… It took me one year before I could even began to look at the trauma this health challenge and loss of my wife had manifested within me. Some people get angry, bitter, sad, or anxious. For me, the loss of my partner of nearly 30 years was a vacuum that could not be filled.

Today, 4.5 years later, I realize the amazing blessing I have received from this valuable lesson. The blessing comes from learning much about myself, grief, and the empathy I developed from this painful personal lesson. With surprise, I have grown from the experience of this “misfortune” as I realize the new perspective on life and even the “joy” that came from the ashes of a loss.

Sheryl Sandberg speaks about her appreciation and the lessons of gratitude she learned from losing her husband, suddenly, to an unexpected cardiac incident. Her speech at the 2016 UC Berkeley Commencement was removed from youtube however, know that I was moved to tears as I listened to her story.

“When life gives you lemons, learn to make lemonade,” the old saying goes. But finding your strength and resilience from a difficult loss can provide you with one of life’s greatest challenges and benefits. Learn, accept, and share the lessons. (Remember, you learn best by sharing your story AND you can be of service as you help to create awareness in those who you offer your experience.) When you “KNOW” the value of surviving your loss, you can move on to other lessons in this life.

Life is precious. Joy and Gratitude can be derived from unexpected appreciations of even the darkest moments. Learn from your challenges and reach around to assist other pilgrims as we move along the pathway of our lives.

Blessings.

Share this blog, if appropriate. More support for your spiritual development can be found at the Masters of the Journey website: www.mastersofthejourney.com or at the Facebook page at: www.facebook.com/mastersofthejourney

By the way, if you want to explore more information regarding death and dying, consider reading the many books written regarding Near Death Experiences (NDE’s) which can shed light on the situation your departed person experiences but offers little for your personal grief created by the void generated from the loss of your “Loved” one. In doing this research, it allows me to gain spiritual insight which helps me to live more easily in a state of grace.

Please take good care of yourself!