Good Communication: A Secret to Your Success

For good communication, STOP trying so hard to be heard! Quit telling YOUR story! Start listening and asking the right questions. Easier said than done but good communication involves using your ears more than your mouth. Why do you have two ears and only one mouth? So you can listen twice as much.

Sure you want to share your story and your wisdom and your experiences. Good communication allows for all of this and it is critical for the supportive, wisdom sharing relationship you want. However, how do you know how to put the correct emphasis on your story when you have not discovered the need or shared experience of your communication partner? Besides, talking “at” someone is not the same as speaking “with” someone. The “with” includes respecting your partner enough to listen and ask the clarifying questions where you can both learn from the subject being discussed.

Good communication involves some patience and respect which is demonstrated by NOT interrupting with YOUR story AND caring about your partner and what they are attempting to convey. If they seem to be repeating, redundant, perhaps they need to be guided and sometimes reminded that other members of the relationship would like their time to share…

We, as a culture, are often lacking with good communication skills. We need to learn them and practice. We need to start by realizing that all people we bump into are “perfect” even with their flaws and imperfections which they have brought with them in this life to “learn” from. We all have flaws. We all have lessons (challenges) to take responsibility for and then to learn from. That increased consciousness and our skills of supporting other pilgrims who we have met on the “path” is our purpose.

Besides, other people will like you and respect you more when you show them respect and really listen. Ask good questions to help your partner clarify their story. You will both be better able to learn from this shared experience. Be interested and people will find you to be interesting.

If you are READY and looking for a supportive community where you can share your story, your wisdom, and grow spiritually in a non-religious environment, consider Masters of the Journey.
You are a Blessing! You are a Master! Your wisdom from your life experience can have great value to other pilgrims on the path toward awakening and enlightenment.

The Masters of the Journey has events which are updated on our Facebook page which is found at: www.facebook.com/mastersofthejourney Please comment on this blog and share, if appropriate. More of our blogs are based on spiritual consciousness and can be found at www.dstress.com/blog

Masters of the Journey’s Guiding Principles

The Masters of the Journey: Transformational Community offers you a list of our guiding principles. Would you consider getting involved with our new community to support you moving toward your spiritual goals?

1. Take responsibility for your life
2. Do not blame or make excuses
3. Love Yourself & accept all parts even weaknesses-flaws-imperfections. For these are the “lessons” you here to learn from.
4. Grounding (daily as a practice)
5. Meditation (daily as a practice)
6. Keep your eyes up! Look to the Horizon
7. Set goals – celebrate success. Honor and celebrate your challenges.
8. Never give up on your passion & your dreams
9. Love Nature & Mother Earth… Appreciate the beauty of life. Find Beauty Every Day
10. Learn to Listen:
A. Be Focused
B. Maintain Eye Contact
C. Mind clear of strong judgement/other thoughts of response
D. Ask Supportive, clarifying Questions

11. Be open for Love and Connection (learn to share and to love)
12. Learn better to control: stress, fear, anxiety – Learn to Let Go. Choose LOVE!
13. Practice the skill of self-acceptance- then develop self-love
14. Love and Protect all Children- Cherish their souls – Celebrate youthful enthusiasm, Innocence
15. Daily exercise and meditation is important
16. Build a solid Foundation – self-care/grounding, open your heart to unconditional love & then share it – Love unconditionally
17. Oneness: ALL of us are on the pilgrimage together some of us are more conscious than others – reach around & give all those you touch support and assistance so WE can all evolve together.
18. Embrace each moment as best you can! Each moment is a microcosm of all life & all consciousness – GRACE
19. Build a healthy support team –Find Your Courage – Celebrate your process & the success/gifts of learning.
20. Find Your Passion! Live your Passion! NO excuses! Along the way, do something good everyday- Perform a daily “Mitzvah” (a good deed)
21. Honor your mentors & healthy role models. Learn to bask in the wisdom they share (or provide to you)
22. Look to Create Good in the World. Do not miss the opportunity to acknowledge & celebrate good deeds & creative demonstrations of passion!
23. Turn off (or at least turn it down) TV & Media – Read – Discuss – Learn to THINK for YOURSELF!! Do not blindly accept other people’s perceptions NO ONE! (Certainly not mine….)
24. Follow Your Heart! Listen to your Gut! Follow guidance & honor these strong messages
25. If you are striving to grow up to the heavens find solid roots to feed, nurture, & build a strong foundation for your work.
26. Do not be Lazy! Consciousness requires effort. (It is worth it!) Do not close your eyes to the daily experience of life. Rest & meditation are good. Lethargy & avoidance are not nearly as helpful.
27. Never stop learning or challenging yourself… Do not pretend that you know it all.

Consider: A partner with common values can be helpful & also a trap. Do not be a closed system.

Live with no fear of Death or Dying. Or, learn enough about dying so the thought of this transition does not get in the way of Living! (Study the stories of people who have had Near Death Experiences (NDE.)

Get a mentor, BE a Mentor, who is old, wise, & can share their lessons from living through their challenges! Honor their insights & wisdom though you do not have to agree with all their beliefs and insights. Their insights can offer you perspective & depth to your thinking. (Masters knows the perfection which dwells within you.)

DO NOT Avoid people with handicaps & challenges. They can teach you how to overcome limitations. We are all unique & loved creatures!

    DANCE like no one is watching! Live with passion and reckless abandon!

Visit our website at www.mastersofthejourney.com for more information and resources. Masters of the Journey is a Transformational community.

The Masters of the Journey has events which are updated on our Facebook page which is found at: www.facebook.com/mastersofthejourney Please comment on this blog and share, if appropriate. More of our blogs are based on spiritual consciousness and can be found at www.dstress.com/blog

Do Your Gift

Do the Gift You were Given to do! We were all born with lessons to learn and talents or innate skills to assist us in providing the service we came here to share. If you can get your ego out of the way and remember the deeper connections we have with all other souls, then you will be better able to share your specific gifts.

Find, and then, know your passion. If you limit your time, energy and attention to only what you think you “should” be doing in your life, you may find that you have missed out on doing what you truly need to be engaged within. It is NOT a waste to be doing your “shoulds,” it just takes away from the important desires of your life. Life is not as much fun if you only do the “shoulds.”

But, what is YOUR Gift? And, how can you Offer Your Special Piece? What are you most strongly attracted to do? Maybe, what do you envy when you see another person’s representation of their life? I do not like the word, envy, but it can lead you to a discussion as to what might be missing from the path you are taking in life. You do have the choice to know your passion, follow your passion, and to be happily engaged in our life. Your parent’s expectations or lifestyle DOES NOT have to be the blueprint for YOUR life!

Especially, ask your self what you would be doing if there was no limitation or excuse for changing direction in your life. If you won the lottery, and money was no object, what would you be doing differently? After you travel, buy a bigger house, financially protect your children, fix your bad knee (or whatever health challenge,) and get your dream car, what would be the most satisfying activity for the rest of your life? I will bet, in most cases, you would be engaged in some act of service. What would that be? How would it feel to be able to do this? AND, why are you NOT doing this now? This act of service may find a form that is not expensive other than your time and energy. Why is NOT a part of your life NOW? The “things” you gather will not be what you celebrate at the end of this life. You will look to the people and experiences with the people you have bumped into which will be the rewarding memories and the “value” of your life’s path.

Write your book even if you never sell a single copy. (It is your thoughts and experiences and these are unique to you. Share them…)

YOU are a blessing. You have much to offer. Even if you can only afford to sit with someone else and share your story. Or, serve by being a “witness” to someone else telling their story. It is a wonderful gift to listen as a person tells the most important experiences from their lives. And maybe, yes maybe, the connection you make may lead to the learning which you are here to do.

Note: I often ask too much from my expectations in life. Expectations, quite regularly, screw things up, but that is another blog. Your PURPOSE may be simpler than you realize. It may be more important than you give it credit for. Your purpose, no matter who you are, is to serve humanity and all of consciousness by reaching around and taking the hands of your fellow pilgrims. We are all in this together and offering support, perhaps direction, can be the life changing outcome of assisting a fellow traveler. Simple is often better. A loving role model is better than a driven lecture. Remember, your actions speak louder than your words AND we need more nonjudgmental people to model.

Your gift may lie in your intuition. And, to be a clear channel you need to polish the mirror. You can do this by taking better care of yourself and in so doing, take better care of your Gift. (Example: meditate and get out into a natural setting to be present in the world.) Reflect back what your fellow partner requires and NOT what YOUR lesson is about. You may find that by using your gift of intuition you can learn a great deal as you say the words (communicate) to your partner. I have found these experiences to be magical and I know the value for the learning of each of us… You and your Gift are a blessing!

If you want to share your Gift or your story, consider the Masters of the Journey Community. Remember to remember, you are a blessing!

The Masters of the Journey has events which are updated on our Facebook page which is found at: www.facebook.com/mastersofthejourney Please comment on this blog and share, if appropriate. More of our blogs are based on spiritual consciousness and can be found at www.dstress.com/blog

The Art of Being Present

What is the advantage in being Present? How do you achieve the state of Presence? In moving along your path in life, when should you strive for “being fully in the Moment?”

Have you ever had the telephone conversation or the face to face meeting with another person who was clearly “somewhere else” and not tracking your communication? In our busy world, this happens all the time. You have to repeat yourself or you feel insecure that you were not fully heard or understood. You have to question your communication partner to “check in” and to know that they were not so distracted that they did not receive your important communication. People clearly have a great deal on their mind and they are being torn away by the invasion of of text messages or other manifestations of interrupting technology. We are so “plugged in” that it is difficult to invest fully in the conversation with the person in front of you or on the other end of the telephone. A client may not feel fully connected with you if you are lost in another thought and this may cause a transaction to go poorly. Your friend or family member may get frustrated with your lack of focus and may lash out at you in frustration. These situations happen all to frequently. Many people do not have the awareness, and then the control, to be able to quiet the distractions and really focus on the present moment and this is sad.

Missing the moment that will never come again is a loss that you can not ever recover!  There are times when you can multi-task but human interaction is very important and should not be short changed by your distracted and disrespectful pursuit of multiple thoughts or activities. Remember when this happened to you and how you felt this lack of respect and consideration! If for no other reason, you will miss out on the most joyful and satisfying moments in life if you are not present!

Achieving the state of “Presence” requires that you reduce internal and, if possible, external distractions. Begin by NOT thinking of your answer or response before your communication partner finishes their statement. Listen! Listen with ALL of your senses. If you require clarification, ask supportive “open ended questions.” Make eye contact. It is rude to not focus your vision upon the person who is speaking. If possible, feel the emotion of what is being said. Use your intuition to read “between the lines.” There are many times when you may need to clear your mind and relax your body to reduce internal distractions and this may benefit from learning how to meditate and to find yourself in the present moment. If you can be present, you will be happier and healthier. Your relationships can improve. You can find interpersonal success more easily.

Being fully present can become more a positive habit if you practice and learn more about what is distracting to you, AND, learn to let this go. Remember, that the respect you show in listening and interacting can be beneficial for personal learning and will improve your relationships. It will even SAVE YOU TIME in the long run. Try it and see for yourself.

If you manage other people or want positive outcomes with your family, learning to be fully present is a mandatory skill and life enhancing experience.

Blessings to you on your path and watch most carefully each foot step on your journey toward consciousness.

More information and support can be found at: www.mastersofthejourney.com and our Facebook page www.facebook.com/mastersofthejourney

Key to Communication: Really Listening!

Successful communication in interpersonal relationships can be very important in business and in one’s personal life. This is not difficult to realize as a concept but it can be difficult to achieve. There are many variables that help a communication or make communication go terribly wrong. Some of these variables you can control and some you can not. An example, you may be very focus and clear regarding an important topic of conversation you may have with a client but you can not control the client’s focus or state of mind. They may be busy on “other” things and can not “engage” or focus on what you are saying.

So let’s discuss some of the variables that you can understand and control. Two of the most important ones in interpersonal communication are Timing and Listening. There are many other variables which we will discuss in other articles but let’s start with these two variables.

Timing is key in every aspect of relationships. If one side is distracted or unavailable, it is not fortuitous for the success of a communication. Scheduling the time and getting an agreement regarding this appointment are essential when your communication is critical. If you can not create an environment that is relatively undistracted and conducive to an appropriate exchange then your important message may be missed. Find the best time and space for you to communicate. At the beginning of the conversation, it may be best to ask again if this is a “good time” to talk, knowing that just because your partner has shown up at the appointment it does not mean that they are ready and undistracted. So, checkin. Make sure the table is clear and they are ready to participate. If not, and your communication is of critical value, you may have to reschedule or risk the failure of the process.

Perhaps even more importantly, is the skill to listen! It is easier said than done, but an essential key to great communication is not speaking but listening to your partner. If you interrupt, or think ahead, or find an emotional tangent to distract you, or simply lose your focus, your partner will sense your lack of “presence” and be distracted in a way which may make the meeting destined to failure. Use all of your senses to focus and to listen to what your communication partner is saying. Make eye contact. Relax your breathing to encourage your partner to relax. Respect your partners words and their opinion even if you may disagree. Do not interrupt! Keep your mouth closed until you can assist your partner by asking and “open ended question” to help clarify what they are communicating. Restate what you have heard to make sure you are very clear about what they are attempting to convey to you. Only after restatement and permission to response, is it a good time to find your appropriate answer. Show some gratitude to your partner. As a reminder, shouting someone else down does show intelligence, maturity or respect for a positive outcome.

Hint, for the best possible communication: Listen to your communication partner as if you respected this relationship so much it would be as if you were listening to the most honored elder or even, as if you were sitting in the presence of God. (Some people believe that you can find the perfect spirit of the divine in everyone, if you look for it.)

It has been said that we were given two ears and one mouth so we could listen twice as much. This is critical in personal relationships, friendships, family, and in business. Timing and listening. You are going to be more successful if you remember these keys to better communication.

We will have more to share regarding communication. This is a start. Please respond and try these two concepts in your next “important” communication.

Coaching and training are available at the Stress Education Center, www.dstress.com.

Leadership Begins with Listening

Both words begin with the letter “L” but these two concepts are tied together by more. All good communication training begin with the principle that to have a good communication you must first be ready to listen and to understand what your communication partner is attempting to convey. Good leadership involves good communication and so these management techniques are linked. With good listening and good communication a good leader will not only be able to develop the most successful course toward the goal but will be able to motivate the various team members to perform their roles with the highest level performance that they have available. If there are challenges and resistance to change then a good leader will listen, understand the issues, and be able to address these difficulties to help keep the positive movement toward the end goal on target.

Executives or managers who do not really trust or respect their team will micro-manage so they will still “feel” they are in control but they will not be able to develop the strength of a high performance team. These managers will not be good leaders and it often starts with poor listening skills. Managers who are “bullies” will not have long term success. In the short term, they may get progress through intimidation but then sabotage and burnout will develop and the cost of this negative leadership will reduce cost benefits. “Bullies” by their nature are not good leaders or listeners.

Good leaders will trust their team members to come up with positive solutions and answers when challenges occur. Good leaders will share the glory, the rewards, and the recognition with key team members as the goals are reached. This creates further motivation and builds trusting relationships that will endure into future projects. A reputation of good leadership will help advance an executive’s career especially when the good results and successes of their teams continue to polish their leadership image.

Good listening requires that your self-interests, self-needs, or self-distractions are kept to a minimum which is easier said than done. Keeping an open mind as you listen will assist the process. Understanding the background experience or perspective that your team member brings will help to give you the insight you require to develop the communication into the most productive interaction that is possible.

For more information and support with your leadership skills please consider the executive coaching approach used at the Stress Education Center which is found at www.dstress.com