The Act of Acknowledgement Will Improve Your Life!

Does it feel good to be acknowledged? Do you want better relationships and a better life? What is acknowledgement?

Relationships are the most important ingredient in your learning. Learning your lessons includes connecting at the deepest levels possible with people in your life. The Act of Acknowledgement is a strength which will improve your relationships and offer significant learnings for you! And, if you are seeking acknowledgement you often have to demonstrate this activity and be the role model to set off the chain reaction which will return to acknowledge your efforts.

The Act of Acknowledgement requires that you master, or attempt to master, several skills including: the ability to be fully “present,” listening, celebrating, communication without judgement, and loving. Unconditional loving is best, and often difficult, as giving loving feedback without conscious or unconscious strings attached is not a common occurrence for most people.

Being “fully present” is the act of being able to focus on your communication partner without remembering the past history you may have, blocking consideration of the future possibilities, and keeping your ego’s need to be “right” or coming across as “top dog” in check. Being fully present is easier said than done. You need to block distractions both external and internal to be most successful and this type of concentration takes practice.

The skill of “listening” is a lost art for most people for all the reasons listed above as being fully present. There are too many thoughts invading your mind coming from internal memories and emotions or from outside distractions. Listening requires the intention that you care enough about your communication partner to offer them the reverence they deserve. Judgements can get in the way. Lack of respect for your partner, yourself, or most anyone else also can become an obstacle to listening. In our cultural, time has become a difficulty when we are too desperate to sit patiently and not be the one who finishes sentences or over-talks your partner. (Hey, over-talking is NOT a good style of communication. It shows you do NOT have any respect for the speaker and that you are only listening to your own insecure ego’s need to control the conversation.)

Celebration, again without strings attached, can be done inappropriately. It can be over-done or under-done. It can be done without the sincere intention of honoring the person you are attempting to acknowledge. A shallow or insincere acknowledgement can be worse than no acknowledgement at all. It is not such a fine line but works best when you are celebrating in an authentic and sincere way. Doing this in a “pure” way to show your partner the respect you are most heartfelt in expressing.

Communication without judgement is another technique which often requires introspection and practice. Our culture has trained us well to “Judge” and we like to do what we are good at doing. We compare ourselves with others and look for their flaws or inadequacies so we can feel superior rather than remembering that we are all imperfect people who are interconnected with all other “perfect souls.” Separation and defensiveness depend on being judgmental. Our judgements get in the way of deeper intimacy and connection. It is difficult to offer a sincere acknowledgement with a deeply seated judgmental attitude.

Unconditional loving is the pure act of sharing without any strings attached. It is pure. It is nearly impossible in our world. Our nature is to offer love with an expectation that it will be returned. If you ever feel the “State of Grace” you may feel overwhelmed by the deepest and most indescribable feelings of acceptance, connection, and joyful, pure, healing love. Since we are not in heaven or physically living on the other side of the veil, we most come as close as we can to offering or partner pure love in our gift of acknowledgement. (It is helpful to know that we all “Know” what unconditional love is and feels like, we just have to “Remember” its beauty.)

The Act of Acknowledgement creates stronger and healthier relationships. These improved relationships will allow you to celebrate a better life.

Find the people and the moments when you can offer support and acknowledgement. Your heart and soul will bask in the beauty of these opportunities and you will be providing a wonderful service to our world!

You are a blessing! Your soul and spirit are perfect and radiant. Join in raising the consciousness of all you bump into, if in no other way than to be the role model of offering respect and unconditional love. You are a light-worker. If you feel that you or someone you know can benefit from support, consider doing our non-religious spiritual support community, the Masters of the Journey. Please take good care of yourself.

Relationships and Spirituality

An amazing insight and new perspective regarding relationships has hit me like a ton of bricks. My self-definition and personal description, until last week, has been one which included speaking of myself as a “Relationship Person.” This means that I did not see myself as “Whole” unless I was in a “meaningful” relationship with some romance gluing it together.

In reading from the ACIM (A Course in Miracles) Chapter 16 section 5 “The Choice for Completion,” I stumbled upon a foundation shaking perspective – FOR ME. Due to my earliest childhood I believe that I have learned some interesting things regarding relationships, sources of love, and my need/belief that I am a “relationship” person. My possible “Attachment Disorder” has caused me to learn the lesson of believing that I am NOT WHOLE without being in a “couple relationship.” I am not a victim or expressing weakness. It has been my foundational understanding that I required another person in my life to balance me out. Our culture encourages this bonding and mating behavior. Our culture encourages individuals to be part of the team in: sports, work groups, religious organizations, political parties, national commitments, and “special relationships” defining families. BUT ACIM tells me that I am “Perfect and whole” as a soul with Divinity at my core. It says, and I believe, that I/we are made in God’s image and we are perfect holograms of the Divine Spirit. The readings from last week suggest that if I give myself up to be connected in a “Special relationship” then I am not honoring the perfection and wholeness of my divine soul. This does not mean that I do not love other incarnated souls. It just suggests that I should not look to or demand that a relationship make me “whole.”

I am struggling with recent teachings (from “A Course in Miracles” and “The Way of Mastery” see below) but feel that there is truth and wisdom in these words. I am not sure how to apply these concepts to my “current life” but will see where this leads me. My recent learnings and “Knowings” tell me that I am much greater than my “petty” human life and the Divine is at my core, as it is in the soul/core of every being I encounter. We are all reflections of the perfection of the Divine Spirit. No better and no worse. And, though we can learn from interacting with other “pilgrims,” we are ALL IN THIS TOGETHER and our purpose is to support and to assist “everyone” we encounter to learn their specific lessons so we can all evolve in awareness and consciousness together. We are all actors, playing our roles, in the Divine Play…

There are the many people I have loved and continue to love. I am blessed to have been guided and supported by friends, family, lovers, spirits, and even guides from other realms. My life has been Graced and Protected. When I came to the “Fork in the Road,” my choices were “Perfect” and led me to where I am today… Yes, especially in writing this obscure blog regarding my recent spiritual evolution and learning about many things including relationships. As YOU read this, remember that YOU are Perfect and You are a Master. Your challenges have taught you the lessons that give You wisdom to share. You must find the ways to articulate your learning and to serve all the souls whom you encounter. YOUR Purpose is to take the hand of fellow pilgrims and support their learning and development so that we all can benefit.

You are a Blessing! You are so much more than the body and the incarnated life you lead. If you have not already, You will find Your way to remember Your Divinity and to Grace the Universe with your wisdom!

You ARE Perfect and if you would like to support fellow travelers consider the community of Masters of the Journey.

Reference:
My studies of the “A Course in Miracles” and “The Way of Mastery” which are amazing books which have been “Channelled” from Jesus. ACIM was delivered in 1965-1972 and published first in the 1976 and “The Way of Mastery” was delivered from 1994-1997 and has been published since 2004 (with some disagreements…) If you have not been exposed to these “dictations” you may want to spend some time with these wordy works. Personally, I require a support group, which I have, to help translate these concepts for my understanding. In the past 20 months, I have learned a great deal and turned some of my early resistance to these dictations into some very profound and important self-learning and spiritual insights. Sorry for this long introduction.

Key to Communication: Really Listening!

Successful communication in interpersonal relationships can be very important in business and in one’s personal life. This is not difficult to realize as a concept but it can be difficult to achieve. There are many variables that help a communication or make communication go terribly wrong. Some of these variables you can control and some you can not. An example, you may be very focus and clear regarding an important topic of conversation you may have with a client but you can not control the client’s focus or state of mind. They may be busy on “other” things and can not “engage” or focus on what you are saying.

So let’s discuss some of the variables that you can understand and control. Two of the most important ones in interpersonal communication are Timing and Listening. There are many other variables which we will discuss in other articles but let’s start with these two variables.

Timing is key in every aspect of relationships. If one side is distracted or unavailable, it is not fortuitous for the success of a communication. Scheduling the time and getting an agreement regarding this appointment are essential when your communication is critical. If you can not create an environment that is relatively undistracted and conducive to an appropriate exchange then your important message may be missed. Find the best time and space for you to communicate. At the beginning of the conversation, it may be best to ask again if this is a “good time” to talk, knowing that just because your partner has shown up at the appointment it does not mean that they are ready and undistracted. So, checkin. Make sure the table is clear and they are ready to participate. If not, and your communication is of critical value, you may have to reschedule or risk the failure of the process.

Perhaps even more importantly, is the skill to listen! It is easier said than done, but an essential key to great communication is not speaking but listening to your partner. If you interrupt, or think ahead, or find an emotional tangent to distract you, or simply lose your focus, your partner will sense your lack of “presence” and be distracted in a way which may make the meeting destined to failure. Use all of your senses to focus and to listen to what your communication partner is saying. Make eye contact. Relax your breathing to encourage your partner to relax. Respect your partners words and their opinion even if you may disagree. Do not interrupt! Keep your mouth closed until you can assist your partner by asking and “open ended question” to help clarify what they are communicating. Restate what you have heard to make sure you are very clear about what they are attempting to convey to you. Only after restatement and permission to response, is it a good time to find your appropriate answer. Show some gratitude to your partner. As a reminder, shouting someone else down does show intelligence, maturity or respect for a positive outcome.

Hint, for the best possible communication: Listen to your communication partner as if you respected this relationship so much it would be as if you were listening to the most honored elder or even, as if you were sitting in the presence of God. (Some people believe that you can find the perfect spirit of the divine in everyone, if you look for it.)

It has been said that we were given two ears and one mouth so we could listen twice as much. This is critical in personal relationships, friendships, family, and in business. Timing and listening. You are going to be more successful if you remember these keys to better communication.

We will have more to share regarding communication. This is a start. Please respond and try these two concepts in your next “important” communication.

Coaching and training are available at the Stress Education Center, www.dstress.com.

Are Relationships Stressful?

Most relationships require time and attention and this can prove stressful. For relationships to work, they require maintenance and energy. If these are in short supply then you can experience stress. The very nature of forming a good and healthy relationship is different for every person and every relationship. A secret that many people have to learn is about timing. An attractive relationship will not get off the ground unless the timing of attraction is good. As an example, think about any relationship you have pursued. If it worked out, both sides were available and ready. This is good timing. If only one side of the attraction is available, it can be very difficult, if not impossible, for it to work out.

Relationships have a wide range of possibilities. They can be romantic relationships or friendship relationships or business relationships or therapeutic relationships or possibly all of these. Most people require relationships at some point in their lives. Many people are raised without positive role models of healthy relationships and no matter how many TV shows or movies, or even books you read, you may not come across good relationship examples. Sometimes you have to use trial and error to figure this out and it is greatly complicated by the complex personalities of the people we attempt to have relationships with. By the way, relationships continue to evolve and change as the participants learn and grow. Your strong, but flexible, motivation may be a useful tool in maintaining relationships.

Some people are very traditional and have very strong inflexible values. Unless they hook up with the “right” situation in the first place, their relationship may prove difficult or fall apart over time. So knowing about yourself and your values can be a great start to developing stronger relationships. Controlling your expectations of changing your partner is a very useful consideration. If you do not like (and accept) the person in front of you but you see “real potential” then you may be doomed to the pain of watching their “unfilled potential” as they veer in a different than expected direction. “Expectations screw things up!” It is good to have a list of important qualities that you are seeking in a potential relationship before you begin to pursue the challenge of finding and then developing a relationship, especially if this is an important relationship for you. Ask yourself what you really need and do not accept less. What you want, may offer some flexibility.

A lasting relationship requires your loyalty and trust. If the timing is not right, one side or the other may move in directions that are less loyal and trustworthy. (And, “mid-life crisis” type personal changes can wreck certain relationships.)

Remember to take GOOD care of yourself. Because if your “light goes out” you run the risk of losing the attraction you have to your partner. It sometimes feels selfish to take care of yourself but this is essential to your own well-being, on many levels, and to your relationship. Continue your self exploration and growth. A healthy relationship can weather the storm your personal change and development may bring.

For many people in relationships good communication is hard work but necessary. Honesty with yourself and your partner, from the beginning, builds the best foundations for long term success.

Relationships can be the most stressful thing that you experience but they can also be the most rewarding. Ask most parents about their children. Without connection, shared love, and the deep bonding of relationships, most of us would not have the depth of purpose that create the most important lesson we have to learn from in this life.
Learn on….

If you require an assessment to learn more about your style or your values or your attitudes contact the Stress Education Center at www.dstress.com to get the assessments and the coaching that can make you more successful. This can be used for personal relationships and is also very helpful with key teams and management groups.