So, You Want to Be Interesting!

We have an interesting inborn need to be noticed at times in life. Being “interesting” can get you noticed. We can do this in many ways, both through positive recognition and for not so positive activities.

Let’s first define “interesting”:
in·ter·est·ing
adjective: interesting (Quoted from the Internet)
“arousing curiosity or interest; holding or catching the attention.” “an interesting debate”

synonyms: “absorbing, engrossing, fascinating, riveting, gripping, compelling, captivating, engaging, enthralling”

antonyms: “boring” (We do not like being thought of as Dull or BORING!)

We do not usually want to be “Boring” but we may lack the ability to be fascinating, or captivating, or even enthralling. If you are compelled to develop your persona into the most interesting person you can be then this 2 part blog may give you something to consider and some skillsets to work on.

First, and foremost, if you do not want to be boring and you want to be engrossing DO NOT DO BORING THINGS! Put some activities into your life’s experience that ARE interesting! Start by turning off your TV, put down your smartphone, go out and read something which is well written, learn some new stuff, and start actually talking to people (More about how to this in part 2.) It really helps to release your pre-conceived conceptions and judgements so you can make some room for new experiences and knowledge. (Hey, I did not say this was going to be easy!) Meet new people. Ask Questions… AND also, go within yourself to find out who YOU are! At some point, you will not be what you think other people want you to be or a “Copy” of someone else. Being yourself may not sound interesting or sexy BUT it is real and genuine AND THAT IS INTERESTING!

Wow! Did I say to put down your SmartPhone and turn off your TV? What am I crazy? NO, you are to addicted to your technology AND this MAKES you less interesting. Watch people on airplanes, in restaurants, or any place where people are supposed to be meeting. What you now see is people NOT interacting with each other but constantly interaction with their technology as if they would miss something important or interesting if they did not respond instantaneously, 24-7, to their social media laden smartphones. Get a grip on what you were born to do, interact with other people NOT your technology!

What is your alternative behavior?
You have survived many challenges to get to this point in your life. You have learned some stuff from the successes you have had AND even more from your failures (or imperfections.) YOU have a story to tell. Go find it. Practice telling your stories so you can tell these stories better AND find love and find appreciation for the difficult lessons you have survived. Do NOT be a victim. Take responsibility and OWN these tough lessons so you can be the “Master” who you really are! People are attracted to positive energy and may seek to avoid negative, victim type behaviors and attitudes. AND remember, YOU are unique. Your perspective on life, seen through your eyes, is one of a kind! Your sharing of your stories can serve other people as a possible solution to their circumstance or offering hope that we all are in this together and finding similar challenges. (By telling your stories you will gain even more perspective regarding who you really are and about the path that led you to this point in your life.)

You may not fully realize how interesting you and your life truly are until you begin to reach out, first to self-understanding, and then to the act of sharing how YOU have survived in your life. Your survival seems quite simple to you but can amaze the person who has not experienced the weirdness of your family, your work, your schooling, your travels, YOUR LIFE!

Do not deny your “Bigness” because you are much more than the seemingly simple life in your nondescript body! You do not remember your perfection and the Divine Spirit which is at your core.

Part 2 (next blog) offers you some skills to practice. If you would like to join a community which is designed to support you in telling your story, consider participation in a non-religious community such as Masters of the Journey which purpose is to assist people to connect and gain in spiritual consciousness.

Put down your smartphone and go interact with PEOPLE and be the interesting person your ARE!

Social Skills: Are They Necessary?

Social skills: are they necessary to get along in the society?

Are social skills really necessary in present-day society? Has the use of technology reduced our ability to function socially and to communicate effectively? How do you develop good social skills and use them most effectively?

I am sure that you have experienced people in this world who seem to lack even the most basic of social skills. They are socially awkward and they are lacking in interpersonal communication skills. There are many people in this world who march through the world as if they are the “bull in the china shop,” he socially. These people do not seem to recognize that other people exist and must function in the same world, or in the same space, as they do.

In social relationships, these people may seem awkward and difficult to communicate with. They may seem insensitive and sometimes disruptive. They do not seem to understand basic social interactions and so they seem to blunder through social experiences in often entertaining ways. (It is entertaining only if you have the right attitude and can identify the shortcomings of these people. When you are not in the right mood, these behaviors may be very irritating and annoying. And the sad thing is, that these people do not even realize that they have been annoying or that their behaviors have been lacking in good social skill.

In business, the lack of interpersonal social skills can be a real detriment to success and to long-term positive business relationships. There are many job descriptions where the lack of social skills is more accepted and perhaps even valued, however, it can create very difficult and awkward in situations in the higher functioning business activities. In social and business situations, you are often, but not always, given one chance to make a good impression and can be forgiven for a single social faux pas. Repeated social awkwardness can label you as unworthy for long-term business relationships. Depending on the business situation, there are behaviors, vocabulary, dress codes, and presentation skills that can either support or deter business relationships. If you do not know the appropriate behaviors, your blunders may really get in your way.

But where do you learn good social skills that can help you in interpersonal relationships and business situations? Many children, very early in their lives, learn by watching and interacting with the people in their lives. If their parents do not have social skills or if they are left too long with their young peers, they may find it difficult to get along in school, business, and interpersonal relationships. It can often be embarrassing and from this embarrassment a person can either choose the path towards greater self-awareness and development of social skills or they can continue to isolate themselves. All of us have had our socially awkward moments, but most of us who have gained success, have learned from our mistakes or awkwardness and have developed better interpersonal skills and effective ways of communicating and leading other people. There are even some leadership programs such as Toastmasters where people can develop better communication and leadership abilities. People who refuse to develop these skills can still be successful but may have a more difficult path to follow.

With the use of technologies, more young people do not have face-to-face contact and the opportunities to develop good verbal and nonverbal communication skills. This may cause social awkwardness in school, in business, and in developing important interpersonal relationships. Sometimes we have to quit text messaging and actually sit eyeball to eyeball with another person to learn the skills of both verbal and nonverbal communication. An important consideration is that we learn to trust our gut feelings in social situations and learn to read the people that we are interacting with. Again, there can be many times when we make mistakes and come across as “communication challenged.” We must learn from these important experiences.

Sometimes we need to find a mentor or a coach who can help us develop our own personal insights, awareness, and interpersonal skills. Since these skills are not always taught in school, even in college, we must honor the importance of these experiences and abilities and pursue them to be able to achieve our highest levels of success. I challenge you to find the best situations and mentors so that you can develop these social skills and find the success that you deserve. (Organizations like Toastmasters may be a good place to start.)

Please send any comments or questions to the Stress Education Center regarding these blogs. Please take good care of yourself.