When other people hold the mirror, how is your reflection? Not just your physical appearance, but who you “really” are as a person. In other words, what do people who know you, know about you? Is your self-image a reflection match of how other people feel about you? Remember, everyone has their unique perspective and their own unique opinion. Some people will be better observers and possibly more accurate. Some people will be more objective and not add their own challenges to describing your attributes, both your good qualities and your difficult ones.
It may not seem important, learning how other people feel about you. Your own personal feelings are most significant, however, we often are in denial or misjudge how we come across to others. Feedback is useful and often important. With objective feedback, we can make adjustments. We can learn from experience how others know us. With this input, we can decide if we wish to make any course corrections. Sometimes we can learn what is holding us back or, at the very least, what we could consider improving. As an example, in my early 20’s as I was participating in a “encounter group,” a member called me on my use of humor when the discussion got deeper and more difficult. At the time, I thought my humor was a positive and friendly attempt to entertain. What I learned from this feedback was that I was hiding behind my humor as a defense mechanism. This was very difficult for me to learn. I went into a depression and took 7 or 8 months to accept this fact and to integrate this into my life. To this day, when I use humor in a difficult encounter, I still ask myself whether this was defensive and something I need to examine or was it just my silly side bursting out inappropriately, as it commonly does… For me, this was a turning point and this reflection was very important, though difficult, for me.
Each of us are role models. We are beacons where we share our light and can assist other pilgrims to find their way along the path of self-discovery. Sometimes we create a reflection which is so positive, other people will want to follow or at least strive to move more in the direction you are projecting. Sometimes, we are a model of what NOT to do or to be. Long ago, I found out I could not make everyone like me, let alone, follow me. That was a rough lesson for my fragile ego and this changed my life. My outgrowth from this realization was that I needed to like ME and who I AM. Everyone is a different soul and does things differently. Some people behave in ways simply to get other people to “like” them even though this may be less healthy for their unique self. Living life as a popularity contest is one way to live. Personally, I do not choose this path. My insecurities are not often the driving force in how I present myself, though, like most people, I do enjoy positive attention.
The question remains, is your self-image a good reflection of who you really are? Are you willing to ask the question and receive the answer of your partner with little, or no, defensiveness? These struggles may lead to the most important lessons you have in this lifetime. Be present and learn through external reflection and self-reflection what you came here to learn! No matter where you are in self-discovery and spiritual development, you are a blessing! Even with your seeming imperfections or flaws, you are PERFECT just the way you are, though perhaps not above improvements.
If you are READY and looking for a supportive community where you can share your story, your wisdom, and grow spiritually in a non-religious environment, consider Masters of the Journey.
You are a Blessing! You are a Master! Your wisdom from your life experience can have great value to other pilgrims on the path toward awakening and enlightenment.
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