Tag Archives: commitment

Relationship Commitment: Till Death Due You Part

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Relationship commitment, especially marriage, may not be fully understood when people enter into this commitment. I was married at 33 years of age, for the first and only time, and I had NO idea what being married for “Life” could possibly mean. I never really considered the “end game” of marriage…

“Till death do us part” is a part of some traditional wedding vows. This signifies that the married couple intend to spend the remainder of their lives together – They will be parted only by death. “Part” – note that it is used as a verb in this instance. S: (v) separate, part, split (go one’s own way; move apart) ”
(From: https://english.stackexchange.com)

My marriage lasted almost 28 years and this “commitment” ended when my wife “transitioned” from this life. It was a transition I thought I was prepared for because we were given her “Terminal diagnosis” 8 and 1/2 years prior to her passing over. One of my challenges after her death, was to understand the “Void” that was created when my life partner of 30 years was not physically in my world. This is not a unique experience. Many people have learned the lessons from “losing” a close friend, or a spouse, or a family member where there had been an official or unofficial commitment. How DO You prepare for this situation? Personally, I admit that when we got married in the Summer of 1984, I had never a remote thought about the “end game.” There are only two ways out of a real marriage which include death or divorce. The two difficult “D’s.” This is not meant to prevent people from considering the commitment of marriage or deep relationships. It IS meant to create awareness and higher consciousness regarding the bonding process and the lessons we all learn from these.

The illness which afflicted my wife (ovarian cancer) and our relationship gave us a chance to grow closer. We weathered many challenging “storms” together and learned much from this experience. This is NOT always the case. For some, leaving a difficult situation with a partner seems like a useful strategy but this never crossed my mind. But remember, the most stressful things in life come when you deeply care or love another person, friend, child, relative, or spouse, AND you have NO control over what happens to this person. Parents know the anxiety, and the rewards, of sending their child out into the world.

You were guided into a relationship with another human partner with no guarantees that you or they or the relationship would last forever. “Forever” is a long time and is too linear. (And, time is a whole other topic for spiritual conversation and belief.) You love, or deeply care, for a person and in being “Human,” there are NO guarantees… They might leave you or get sick and need caring for, or they might need to die. The BEAUTY in all this remains in the fact that you took a risk and were meant to have a relationship with another pilgrim (person) so you both, and all people in your greater community, can learn from this life experience. Not like in the movies where “they live happily ever-after” but in the REAL challenges in living in human form. A range of strong emotions happen. Compromises happen. Communication happens and when this is good communication we learn and refine our perspectives on life. You must be ready and aware of the relationships and the commitment you have been guided to have. This is a huge part of why you are here, in this life, and the lessons you have “agreed” to have…

Love Deeply! Follow your passion! Take a risk! Dance like no one is watching! If you ever meet my beautiful bride in this life as a spirit or in the higher realms, bask in the light of an angel. Death is NOT the enemy, it seems to happen to everyone at some point. Soak in all the unconditional love you find in every “perfect soul” you bump into as you tumble in the warm dryer called life.

AND, if you are challenged by the difficult lessons of relationships in this life, be willing to share your story and the wisdom you have experienced. You are a Master with wisdom from your life’s experience to share.

If you are READY and looking for a supportive community where you can share your story, your wisdom, and grow spiritually in a non-religious environment, consider Masters of the Journey.
You are a Blessing! You are a Master! Your wisdom from your life experience can have great value to other pilgrims on the path toward awakening and enlightenment.

The Masters of the Journey has events which are updated on our Facebook page which is found at: www.facebook.com/mastersofthejourney Please comment on this blog and share, if appropriate. More of our blogs are based on spiritual consciousness and can be found at www.dstress.com/blog

Marriage: Get me to California for the Wedding

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My younger son, Mike, is getting married this month. Michel and Mike have been together for several years and they are a wonderful team. Being 30 years of age, Mike has not waited as long as I did to commit to marriage. (I was not ready until almost 34.) The commitment of marriage is not what I want to write about. It is obviously a huge commitment and should be considered very carefully by two responsible people because this decision is a “Life time” commitment, even if one or both of the members of this union chooses to leave this relationship (for whatever reason.)

A marriage creates a union forming the foundation of a family. It brings together two families. It brings together two people in one of the strongest bonds and strongest responsibilities that life can present. Though it sounds like I am speaking about commitment to marriage let me digress.

When people two people choose to marry do they “KNOW” what they are getting themselves into? Answer: No one does! Life leads down a path that may not be easily predictable. You rarely know where Life can lead and what lessons you are to learn from this experience. The beauty of living life is the weird twists and turns that create the unique and beautiful moments in life, even the most difficult challenges! The trust in your partner is almost always tested. I do not mean this in the most obvious ways of fidelity to the marriage. I mean in the times of challenge such as: parenting, illness, and even death, trusting the divine spirit and the learning that must occur. We choose to come into this life and into this set of lessons for a reason and getting along with your chosen partner creates very important chances to experience and “live” through significant challenges.

It is a blessing when two people find each other and create the bond of trust. As they walk hand in hand through life they are connected and must support their partners through all the good and difficult times. In a small way, marriage is a living example of “oneness” and the true lack of “self.” With the exchange of unconditional love, partners find themselves in each other and, possibly, a part of something much greater. A chance to love, demonstrate unconditional love, and to be part of heart driven union is one of the major lessons we are here to learn. This requires overcoming fear, self-doubt, perhaps a history of trust issues, and the willingness to be a participant in something much greater than a single individual’s life. Trusting your heart, knowing your heart, and following your intuition regarding your partnership is a huge step and engages the mind, the body, and the spirit.

Mike and Michel, I know you are loving, spiritual beings. Go and create the good in the world that your bond through marriage enables the both of you to offer.

I Love You! Your connection serves as an example of what can be most positive in life.

Blessings.

Take good care of each other and your selves.

Along the way, do what you came here to do and make the world a better place. Enjoy the lessons, even the challenges, that are a part of the process of living. Be the team I hope that you can, and will, be.

Let there be the bright and shining light of love in the world, and may you find yourself basking in the brilliance of this unconditional love from within.