There Are Times In Your Life

There are times in your life when you need to pay attention! There are times in your life when you can easily find happiness and joy. And, there are times in your life when you have to look very deeply to find the “Joy” when you can easily judge this life event as challenging and even painful.

When you were young, you would look at certain events and embrace the expectation of impending happiness. You might look forward to your birthday or to Christmas or to Summer vacation expecting the fun and the happiness of what would come. Perhaps there was a graduation or a certain trip which would trigger expectations of happiness. Perhaps, a “knowing” that a certain gift was coming and your joyful anticipation left you excited and full of happiness. Certainly, there have been major transitions on your calendar which created assumptions of joyful happiness like: family gatherings, weddings, births of your children, and anniversaries of your treasured relationships.

Happiness is different than Joy! Happiness is an emotional response. What triggers happiness is often superficial compared to what might trigger Joy. Joy is the deepest level of celebration in the soul.

There is always a flip side. Not to be viewed or assumed to be dark or negative but major events that challenge you. These events challenge you to find the “Joy,” though maybe bittersweet, in the transition you find yourself. Highly conscious people will search for, and find, the “Joy” in even the most difficult life situation. Consideration of the Joy in the unfortunate times is more than a simple art form, it is critical in learning from the arduous life experiences we survive.

Yes, there is a flip side to most every life experience. Lonely Birthday’s or Birthday’s celebrated late in life can be bittersweet. Reflecting back on the more innocent early times can be a reflection of what constantly changes in our lives. Christmas or holiday times when missing a loved one can be filled with pressured expectations of the happiness which may be more difficult to achieve. As we age, Summer vacations may be more a test for us as we control our anxiety and work to control some of the negative expectations which may haunt us. Even weddings and anniversaries can cause us to pause and reflect on what has changed in our innocence and the way we view our past youthful naivety.

However, even the most difficult life experiences can be viewed with the discovery of “Joy.” Even in the vacuum created by the loss of relationships or even the death of a life partner or friend, you can find the life message that grows out of these challenges and celebrate this difficult lesson for the “Joy” that can come. The appreciation of life and the memories of past experiences are given perspective which can become “teaching moments” and so wisdom to share. Your purpose in coming to this life is to learn and to grow and to serve other souls you meet along the way. If you have survived a challenging time, even of great loss of relationship, there is a message to share. AND, you are here, in this life, to share your wisdom born out the drama you have survived. Find the “Joy” in every moment, even the seemingly “darker” moments and you walk the path of consciousness and “Enlightenment.”

An example from my life… After marriage of nearly 28 years, my life partner transitioned after living with her terminal Ovarian cancer diagnosis for 8+ years. Difficult times for us, our families, our children, and our friends. I would NOT wish this experience on anyone. I would not trade this experience, in retrospect, for some other possible fantasy ending. My wife and I became so much closer. Our love was tested and not only survived, but grew. My lessons as the “survivor” have changed my life and my appreciation of living, and dying. The wisdoms I was forced to learn have been shared with many people AND these acts of service have created a burning light which leads the way for many other souls who have been touched by our story. This is the JOY which is born from life’s challenges. This is the Joy you must seek from the difficult experiences you are surviving.

These challenges are the times in Your life that are there to teach you. By expanding your consciousness and learning, you can find your Joy in sharing your hard earned wisdom…

Do not get me wrong, every moment, yes, every moment is Joyful! You have to sometimes work a bit harder to find the meaning and the Joy in the lesson you are learning. Finding the Joy in the more difficult dramas is the act of Enlightened Living. It is time to “Wake UP!”

May the Blessings of Insights in Consciousness blossom most freely for you and find ways of manifesting in your sweet lives! (A message from Guidance.)

Thanks for your time and consideration. Your insights and experiences are unique and a blessing, so please share these…

If you are READY and looking for a supportive community where you can share your story, your wisdom, and grow spiritually in a non-religious environment, consider Masters of the Journey.
You are a Blessing! You are a Master! Your wisdom from your life experience can have great value to other pilgrims on the path toward awakening and enlightenment.

The Masters of the Journey has events which are updated on our Facebook page which is found at: www.facebook.com/mastersofthejourney Please comment on this blog and share, if appropriate. More of our blogs are based on spiritual consciousness and can be found at www.dstress.com/blog

Wisdom Sharing: Let’s Get Started!

Let’s Get Started!

Do You have a story to tell? More importantly, do YOU have Wisdom to share?
Of course you do…

We all have a story. We were born. We grew and lived our lives. AND, we survived until Now!
95% of us do NOT think we are amazing and special or that we have lived the “Heroes Journey.” But, we have! If anyone heard your full story the witness would ask, “How did YOU survive all those challenges?” Most people would NOT want to have gone through what YOU had to go through to get here… The fun exciting things and your successes would be fun to try on… The painful challenges, failures, difficult lessons, and the dramas you have survived would be too difficult for most mortals. Now, you learned more from your failures and painful experiences than you did from being successful, IF you are honest and like most other people. Even if you would not wish these difficult experiences on anyone you loved, and most other people who may mean less to you, YOU survived and there is knowledge and some Wisdom to share.

For me it was the ending of my marriage. My wife and I were 19+ years into our marriage when she was diagnosed with terminal cancer. She was given less than 5 years to live with stage 3 C ovarian cancer. The surgeries and chemotherapies were horrible. We worked together and with her resolve, and all the alternative therapies she could find, my bride lived 8 and 1/2 more years. This experience made us closer! We shared love and experiences that each became an adventure. I would NOT wish this on anyone! But, I would not trade this experience, if I could. I learned so much! And, the great vacuum in my life when she finally “transitioned” was so much greater than I could have imagined. Even though I had 8.5 years to prepare, I was not prepared for the hole in my life AND this was one of the greatest learnings from my grief that I hold so dear. I do NOT want sympathy! I am not a victim! I was blessed with a love and a learning that taught me so much. AND, this learning is supposed to be shared!

Your wisdom born out of the difficult challenges has happened for a reason. You learned some important lessons. You are now here to share your wisdom AND somewhere there is a person who NEEDS to hear your story. You may not know that person or why they need to hear your story but they do need to witness you as a survivor and fellow pilgrim on the path through this life.

We want to overlook ourselves as the Miracles we are! We are a composite that is unique, born out of the challenges which no one else has lived through. No one else can do YOU like you do YOU! Your life adds to all consciousness as a unique contribution. If you can take responsibility for your Greatness, drop the role of “victim,” and find the importance and the Joy in the lessons you have learned, YOU can be the Beacon of Light to people you bump into in this life!

It would help greatly for you to start telling your stories. Practice telling these stories. AND, then find the people who would learn best by witnessing your stories. You can be a hero! You can lead the way! You can be of service to humanities’ consciousness by sharing of yourself! You may never know how impactful you have been or be able to take credit for a life changed by hearing your story. But, if you do not tell your story it will die with you and your full legacy may not be fully fulfilled.

Live fully and Serve by sharing of yourself. YOU benefit from retelling your “story” from the new perspective of who you are Now! You are a Miracle and Your story has value! Please share your wisdom!

Thanks for your time and consideration. Your insights and experiences are unique and a blessing, so please share these…

If you are READY and looking for a supportive community where you can share your story, your wisdom, and grow spiritually in a non-religious environment, consider Masters of the Journey.
You are a Blessing! You are a Master! Your wisdom from your life experience can have great value to other pilgrims on the path toward awakening and enlightenment.

The Masters of the Journey has events which are updated on our Facebook page which is found at: www.facebook.com/mastersofthejourney Please comment on this blog and share, if appropriate. More of our blogs are based on spiritual consciousness and can be found at www.dstress.com/blog

Remembering the Blessings!

I am posting this blog on January 16th, 2020. This is a message for me, from me, AND for YOU. Eight years ago today, at 8:20 AM, my Bride, Barbara, transitioned from this life. I am Blessed for all of the lessons she has taught me. In fact, I would not be writing this blog or working to create the Masters of the Journey community without this direct influence. Please, DO NOT think or Feel, “Poor John”. I am not a victim! I am a soul, just like you, struggling with life’s amazing challenges. Most of us have experienced the loss of the loved one, a friend, or a relationship. If you have walked this Earth in this life, for any amount of human time, you know how life can change. Times of change are often the most important times of growth and learning.

My Bride transitioned 8 years ago after our 30 years of relationship and after 8 1/2 years of living with Ovarian Cancer. The brutal struggle was filled with Joy and Growth. We grew closer. Our Love seemed to delve into the darkest places of anger, pain, and frustration, yet, it found ways to glow with warmth. For me, the lessons of empathy and the meaning of living while struggling with our human mortality was led by my wife. She demonstrated focus and stubbornness to live as long as she possibly could so her passing-over actually came as a shock to me. Two months before she died from our life together, she asked me to “not forget her” which with a knee-jerk reaction I complied. Not really knowing or understanding this promise which I had made. This is not unusual for me because I am naive about many of the things in this life that I have signed on for.

The void in my life when she moved on was a huge surprise. Though I had 8 1/2 years to prepare, I was taken by surprise. The vacuum in my life was much larger than I could have imagined. This is part of my lesson, my learning, and the message I am here to share. Sure you know that Life is precious. You assume the obvious that my wife of 28 years+ and the mother of my children would be “missed,” but that is not the story. Barbara, in spirit, has guided and protected me since January 16th of 2012. Her “presence” has given me stories to share. She has helped create every act of service I have engaged within. Our shared story lives to be a beacon for others to follow and to learn from.

Never consider any personal loss without reflecting on what you have been asked by the Divine Spirit to gain from a difficult life experience. Find a way to celebrate the Joy of life as you dance through the “mine-field” of life’s challenges. You came here to learn, and even enjoy, the bruises and bumps you find along the way. You chose to create the life you lead with your successes and with your awkward mis-steps… Any losses create the opportunity to appreciate your Blessings and your connections. AND, every person you bump into along the way offers you an opportunity to exchange love and wisdom from experience, even if born out of the pains which accompany you through your mortal life. You are made stronger as you are swept along in the rapids of the River of Life.

Also, find your way to remember the perfection and the Divinity within you. You are a Miracle! Look within to feel, and accept, the guidance of the Divine. It bubbles up, often in a subtle feeling, when you are at the crossroads of your life. You have read this far into this blog post for a reason… You were meant to find this consciousness and to go out and to celebrate the incredible experiences of your life, even with the bumps and bruises. Please share your story and serve by witnessing the story-telling of the souls you meet along the way! Your “Hero’s Journey” continues and your experiences can be of service to the community you live within, if you share YOUR story. By the way, YOU are loved and connected to all the wisdom of the Divine Spirit, just “remember” it and feel it within…

Thanks for your time and consideration. Your insights and experiences are unique and a blessing, so please share these…

If you are READY and looking for a supportive community where you can share your story, your wisdom, and grow spiritually in a non-religious environment, consider Masters of the Journey.
You are a Blessing! You are a Master! Your wisdom from your life experience can have great value to other pilgrims on the path toward awakening and enlightenment.

The Masters of the Journey has events which are updated on our Facebook page which is found at: www.facebook.com/mastersofthejourney Please comment on this blog and share, if appropriate. More of our blogs are based on spiritual consciousness and can be found at www.dstress.com/blog

I Love You! I will always Love my Bride, Barbara!!!

Attract Positive: Be Happy!

Be Happy! Easier said than done, BUT…. Your positivity and Happiness will attract positive energy and loving support from the Divine Spirit. No matter what you choose to do or to be, the Divine Spirit will still Love and Support You AND it is an easier task to feel this Love and Support if you are positive and happy. “Like attracts like…” How you choose to be “Happy” in difficult times dealing with difficult challenges is up to you! You choose how YOU respond. You need to take responsibility for your actions, reactions, and the way you perceive your situation. Some people have chosen to respond to difficulties by finding the good, even the Joy, in the lesson they are confronted by. You CAN choose Joy and Happiness.

When you “Ruminate” in a negative or depressed state, you may tend to see life through this filter. You may then find the energy that you are emanating as “Like attracts like…” When you are angry and frustrated, it is difficult to find Joy. It is easier to find more anger and frustration. There is a person who sometimes floats into my activities who rants anger and frustration every chance possible. This attracts more anger and hostile responses which tends to prove this person’s belief. AND, there is no personal responsibility by this individual for their own angry presentation…

There is the distinction in living in higher consciousness. Seeing the positive in a difficult lesson can be very challenging. Taking responsibility for what is happening and how you respond is demanding. This, however, is a test which leads to higher consciousness and moves you toward your “Enlightenment.” What is the direction you choose to take?

Living in Joy is a goal of the Enlightened spirit. We come into our Earthly incarnation to be tested, challenged, and to face the pain of being a human. We come to experience the “Drama” of our role in Earthly life. We learn from these challenges. We grow when tested. Life was not meant to be 24/7 fun. However, for those of us who live in Joy and Happiness a “fun” life can be more consistently lived. When you meditate and begin to remember where you have come from, you can be guided in the most positive direction to accomplish your “learnings.” Sharing your wisdom, experiences, and Joy is a step toward offering the positive support which attracts positivity to you. If you can share with humility, you may prove to be the guiding light for your witnesses.

Hint which may assist you: the practice of Smiling will engage a happier mindset. Just Smile! Smile when you are alone. Smile when you interact with other people in the world. Smile as you look for the Joy or Positive lesson you can learn even in challenging situations. Smiling will trigger a physical response in your brain and stimulate some unconscious responses in your central nervous system. Practice this. Smile when you meditate. My friend Robert discovered how well this has worked for him and I know this is true for me as well. What have you got to lose? So spend some time and energy with extra smiling.

Live in the “Light.” Radiate and reflect the Joy you experience. Expect the positive even in the dark times. (Again, easier said than done.) Example, when grief seemed to limit my expression of joy after the passing of my wife, I was still celebrating her freedom from the traumas of cancer. I was still able to know that our story would serve others. I still found appreciation for all the learning I had been forced to experience as a partner in this difficult shared experience. I experienced the love and support of many friends. Today, even with grief and my pain not far from the surface, I know that I would not wish this on anyone else but I would not trade this experience for a different path.

You are a Miracle! You are a beacon of Love and Light! Whenever possible, bask in the Joy and the Happiness which the lessons of life can offer to you. AND, allow your growth in consciousness to be a bright guiding force you can share with the pilgrims you meet on your path!

Thanks for your time and consideration. Your insights and experiences are unique and a blessing, so please share these…

If you are READY and looking for a supportive community where you can share your story, your wisdom, and grow spiritually in a non-religious environment, consider Masters of the Journey.
You are a Blessing! You are a Master! Your wisdom from your life experience can have great value to other pilgrims on the path toward awakening and enlightenment.

The Masters of the Journey has events which are updated on our Facebook page which is found at: www.facebook.com/mastersofthejourney Please comment on this blog and share, if appropriate. More of our blogs are based on spiritual consciousness and can be found at www.dstress.com/blog

The Joy in Life’s Challenges

Have you ever set a difficult challenge for yourself and celebrated when you accomplished your goal? Perhaps you wanted to run a 10K footrace. Or, you wanted to lose 20 lbs. Or, you want to master a piece of music and perform it for an audience. What if you set a very difficult challenge and you did NOT succeed or meet your goal? Was the effort and attempting to push your limits worthwhile and a “stretch” which made this effort worth your time and energy? Testing yourself and attempting to “stretch” your limitations is often the most important learning you can have. Life, yes your life, is full of challenges which can ask you to “stretch” and can feel difficult, even painful. The most painful challenges are often the most satisfying when you can achieve your goal. Even when you fail, you can learn, and grow, a lot.

Living can have its painful lessons. We can find the lessons useful and these can broaden our confidence or experience, at the very least. The challenge is to find “Joy” in each experience, even the most difficult. Life is about taking risks and “Stretching” ourselves. Safely sitting on the couch doing familiar activities does not create the learning experiences which can move us forward. When we learn and “grow” we have more to share and stories which, when shared, makes our lives more interesting. Sure, the successes may be more fun to retell but the difficult experiences can have great, if not greater, value to our witnesses. (Perhaps of what NOT to do…)

Everyday is a miracle! You can wake up in a mundane life and have the possibility of stretching yourself and having a most unusual experience or learning opportunity. Look for the Joy in each day, each moment, each interaction so you can celebrate at the end of your day and bask in these treasures at the end of this life. No regrets, live each day…

Pain is something that happens in living. Your “suffering” is optional and your creation. You CAN make the best of any, and every, difficult situation. You can find the Joy in each experience and celebrate the learning and growth you can find in life’s experiences, particularly in life’s challenges. One personal example, after 19 years of marriage, my wife, and my life’s partner, was diagnosed with terminal ovarian cancer. Though I would NOT wish this on anyone, our experience for 8.5 years made us closer and taught me so many important lessons that I cherish these days. It had traumatic moments and incredibly loving moments. The experience made us closer. When my wife finally transitioned from our life together, I discovered a void that I could not have ever known before and learned valuable information which I share when the situation presents itself. My ability to serve has increased tremendously.

I challenge YOU to find the Joy in each experience you are lucky enough to experience. Ask each experience and each interaction, what have I come here to learn and how can I be of service to others from the message I have received?

You are a Miracle! You are a Unique Blessing! Thank you for being you and traveling this path to higher consciousness!

If you are READY and looking for a supportive community where you can share your story, your wisdom, and grow spiritually in a non-religious environment, consider Masters of the Journey.
You are a Blessing! You are a Master! Your wisdom from your life experience can have great value to other pilgrims on the path toward awakening and enlightenment.

The Masters of the Journey has events which are updated on our Facebook page which is found at: www.facebook.com/mastersofthejourney Please comment on this blog and share, if appropriate. More of our blogs are based on spiritual consciousness and can be found at www.dstress.com/blog

Relationship Commitment: Till Death Due You Part

Relationship commitment, especially marriage, may not be fully understood when people enter into this commitment. I was married at 33 years of age, for the first and only time, and I had NO idea what being married for “Life” could possibly mean. I never really considered the “end game” of marriage…

“Till death do us part” is a part of some traditional wedding vows. This signifies that the married couple intend to spend the remainder of their lives together – They will be parted only by death. “Part” – note that it is used as a verb in this instance. S: (v) separate, part, split (go one’s own way; move apart) ”
(From: https://english.stackexchange.com)

My marriage lasted almost 28 years and this “commitment” ended when my wife “transitioned” from this life. It was a transition I thought I was prepared for because we were given her “Terminal diagnosis” 8 and 1/2 years prior to her passing over. One of my challenges after her death, was to understand the “Void” that was created when my life partner of 30 years was not physically in my world. This is not a unique experience. Many people have learned the lessons from “losing” a close friend, or a spouse, or a family member where there had been an official or unofficial commitment. How DO You prepare for this situation? Personally, I admit that when we got married in the Summer of 1984, I had never a remote thought about the “end game.” There are only two ways out of a real marriage which include death or divorce. The two difficult “D’s.” This is not meant to prevent people from considering the commitment of marriage or deep relationships. It IS meant to create awareness and higher consciousness regarding the bonding process and the lessons we all learn from these.

The illness which afflicted my wife (ovarian cancer) and our relationship gave us a chance to grow closer. We weathered many challenging “storms” together and learned much from this experience. This is NOT always the case. For some, leaving a difficult situation with a partner seems like a useful strategy but this never crossed my mind. But remember, the most stressful things in life come when you deeply care or love another person, friend, child, relative, or spouse, AND you have NO control over what happens to this person. Parents know the anxiety, and the rewards, of sending their child out into the world.

You were guided into a relationship with another human partner with no guarantees that you or they or the relationship would last forever. “Forever” is a long time and is too linear. (And, time is a whole other topic for spiritual conversation and belief.) You love, or deeply care, for a person and in being “Human,” there are NO guarantees… They might leave you or get sick and need caring for, or they might need to die. The BEAUTY in all this remains in the fact that you took a risk and were meant to have a relationship with another pilgrim (person) so you both, and all people in your greater community, can learn from this life experience. Not like in the movies where “they live happily ever-after” but in the REAL challenges in living in human form. A range of strong emotions happen. Compromises happen. Communication happens and when this is good communication we learn and refine our perspectives on life. You must be ready and aware of the relationships and the commitment you have been guided to have. This is a huge part of why you are here, in this life, and the lessons you have “agreed” to have…

Love Deeply! Follow your passion! Take a risk! Dance like no one is watching! If you ever meet my beautiful bride in this life as a spirit or in the higher realms, bask in the light of an angel. Death is NOT the enemy, it seems to happen to everyone at some point. Soak in all the unconditional love you find in every “perfect soul” you bump into as you tumble in the warm dryer called life.

AND, if you are challenged by the difficult lessons of relationships in this life, be willing to share your story and the wisdom you have experienced. You are a Master with wisdom from your life’s experience to share.

If you are READY and looking for a supportive community where you can share your story, your wisdom, and grow spiritually in a non-religious environment, consider Masters of the Journey.
You are a Blessing! You are a Master! Your wisdom from your life experience can have great value to other pilgrims on the path toward awakening and enlightenment.

The Masters of the Journey has events which are updated on our Facebook page which is found at: www.facebook.com/mastersofthejourney Please comment on this blog and share, if appropriate. More of our blogs are based on spiritual consciousness and can be found at www.dstress.com/blog

Blaming and Dodging Responsibility

Tough topic for many (most) people… Is it easier to blame others than to take responsibility for the challenges that life throws at you? Sure it is! We have been taught to defend our “position” (at any cost.) You are taught to “judge” other people and look for their weaknesses or imperfections so we can pretend to “elevate” ourselves. Winning and competing is valued by our culture. Yet, the way to a better, happier, healthier world is not found in tearing other people down or fixing our “wrong-headedness” in the concrete of our emotional foundations.

Many times, it is better to look at a difficult situation and to learn how and why We Put Ourselves in this situation. It is not a conscious choice BUT there is a lesson we are to learn from, and so, move on our path to consciousness. As an example, 19 years into my marriage with my life partner, my wife, we were confronted with a terminal diagnosis with her ovarian cancer. Initially, I was confused with why (?) and how I was going to support her and to deal with this. I do NOT wish this situation on anyone, however, I would not trade this difficult life experience. There is so much learning that comes from this situation. This brutal experience made us closer than we had ever been before. Since her death in 2012, I have continued to learn and to grow. It is a major reason I am in the position of writing this blog in an act of sharing from the lessons I am continuing to learn.

Why we were “supposed” to endure this challenge is not fully explainable. However, I realize that this experience has huge value in learning my purpose in this life and helps me to be of service, with much greater compassion and resolve. Blaming the doctor who missed the diagnosis was easy and familiar but did not serve me. I am learning that taking responsibility for my role and my learning makes me understand how best to take a seemingly negative life challenge and make this a teaching moment, not just for me, as I continue my path through this life. I never thought that after losing my marriage that I was alone, but I have learned so much more about my relationships with friends and with starting my life over (in many respects) later in this life…

My life AND YOUR life have been filled with challenges and successes which we were meant to have as developmental tools. We can blame other people and situations for the pain we have felt or we can find a way to thank these difficulties for teaching us what WE have needed to learn. We can take responsibility and NOT live as victims. We can take our learned lessons and find ways to be of service by sharing our stories and the wisdom which we have been forced to learn! We can begin to remember that the divine purpose of these trials have been presented to us not just for our learning but as a way to raise the consciousness of everyone we come into contact with.

Consider how YOU can learn from the situations where YOU feel like blaming. Consider how you are responsible for  these painful situations through the choices you have chosen to make. AND, take responsibility for the wisdom you have found! Reach around and use this wisdom to assist other pilgrims you meet in this life. Fulfill your purpose to serve the divine.

Though this is difficult to read, and to understand, know that you are perfect. You are a master sent to grace this plane of consciousness with your learned wisdom. The world IS a better place because of the role you are here to play. Serve by being a light, a role model of the collected experiences and learnings you have gleaned from this human experience. Thank you for being you! Thank you for surviving and learning from the painful challenges! Blessings on your continued path.

Consider sharing your stories and your wisdom with the community of Masters of the Journey. Or, get involved in this communities events, many listed at www.facebook.com/mastersofthejourney

Growing the Garden: a Reason to Live

Do you have a good reason to live? Is there something motivating you that may help you to live longer should you find yourself with a terminal illness? I have seen mothers with young children use their love of their children to fight off near-death experiences. When asked why they chose to come back from their near-death incident, they have answered they could not leave yet, knowing that their young children would be left to grow without them. This experience has surfaced when severe accidents and terminal illness were involved. Some people are ready to pass into the next consciousness and “let go” more easily. Some people fear death or for other reasons stubbornly hold on to living. I had a male client in his late thirties who had anger as a motivation to keep living years beyond his prognosis. His wife and younger children suffered the torment of living with this angry, frustrated husband/father. When he finally did let go, there was some relief felt by caregivers and family. In this particular case, his death-defying behaviors were actually viewed as a torture for his family. Sad, but true.

Then there are people like my late wife, Barbara. She lived beyond her prognosis. She appreciated and celebrated every day that she lived with her cancer. One of her positive motivators was her passion for growing plants in her garden. Like the Winchester Mystery House, she continued to add more garden and more plants every chance she got. She rejoiced with every blossom that developed. She celebrated every vegetable that matured. She had weeding projects and building projects that never seemed to end. When she cut her blossoming flowers and brought them inside to decorate our home, I felt her joy and saw her beaming smile. She took all of our visitors on a tour of her gardens to celebrate her creations and the sensation of life that these plants symbolized. Their appreciation bolstered her energy. This energy kept her stronger for her treatments and helped her to maintain an exercise regimen. She kept her focus on living and did not discuss her condition. She did not want to be known as a cancer patient or someone struggling with a terminal illness. She did not want sympathy but wanted to bask in joy, health, happiness and the Light. She planned future dates of positive events with family and friends. She looked to the blessings in the future and not to the gathering clouds.

If this is relevant to you or to someone you know, I encourage you to help them bask in the Light of life’s celebrations. Enjoy the happiness and joys in each new day. Focus on what is working and keep moving forward.

Thank you for your attention and your time. With my love and my challenge, please keep moving closer to the light of unconditional love and higher consciousness… Find joy!

Growing the Garden: a Reason to Live

Do you have a good reason to live? Is there something motivating you that may help to live longer should you find yourself with a terminal illness? I have seen mothers with young children use their love of their children to fight off near-death experiences. When asked why they chose to come back from their near-death incident, they have answered they could not leave yet, knowing that their young children would be left to grow without them. This experience has surfaced when severe accidents and terminal illness were involved. Some people are ready to pass into the next consciousness and “let go” more easily. Some people fear death or for other reasons stubbornly hold on to living. I had a male client in his late thirties who had anger as a motivation to keep living years beyond his prognosis. His wife and younger children suffered the torment of living with this angry, frustrated husband/father. When he finally did let go, there was some relief felt by caregivers and family. In this particular case, his death-defying behaviors were actually viewed as a torture for his family. Sad, but true.

Then there are people like my late wife, Barbara. She lived beyond her prognosis. She appreciated and celebrated every day that she lived with her cancer. One of her positive motivators was her passion for growing plants in her garden. Like the Winchester Mystery House, she continued to add more garden and more plants every chance she got. She rejoiced with every blossom that developed. She celebrated every vegetable that matured. She had weeding projects and building projects that never seemed to end. When she cut her blossoming flowers and brought them inside to decorate our home, I felt her joy and saw her beaming smile. She took all of our visitors on a tour of her gardens to celebrate her creations and the sensation of life that these plants symbolized. Their appreciation bolstered her energy. This energy kept her stronger for her treatments and helped her to maintain an exercise regimen. She kept her focus on living and did not discuss her condition. She did not want to be known as a cancer patient or someone struggling with a terminal illness. She did not want sympathy but wanted to bask in joy, health, happiness and the Light. She planned future dates of positive events with family and friends. She looked to the blessings in the future and not to the gathering clouds.

If this is relevant to you or to someone you know, I encourage you to help them bask in the Light of life’s celebrations. Enjoy the happiness and joys in each new day. Focus on what is working and keep moving forward.

Thank you for your attention and your time. With my love and my challenge, please keep moving closer to the light of unconditional love and higher consciousness… Find joy!

Caregivers and Stress

There are no easy answers. You love or care for another person and there is no way that you can “fix” the person. They may be sick or hurt or in some sort of difficult situation and no matter what you do, you can not make the “challenge” go away. You are, by some definition, a “victim.” You have “no control” over what happens or how your person of concern is going to respond to their situation. Sometimes you have to “just sit on your hands” while the situation “plays out.” I do not like being in this situation. I want to be actively doing something to help, or at least running around trying to get the healing energies flowing, but this does not always prove useful or may not have any degree of success in changing the situation.

Parents feel this way about their children as they put their kids out into the world to live and to learn the lessons of life. People feel this way when their aging parents begin to fail. Spouses will often feel this kind of helplessness when their partner has been impacted by a severe health or financial challenge. Indeed, most of us who have made it into adolescence have experienced relationships that can evoke this feeling of concern without the power or control to save, or at least help, our friend, family member, schoolmate, or co-worker. People are “caring creatures” much of the time. Our need to nurture and care are “higher functioning” activities that often set us apart from other creatures on our planet. But, though we are often born with this desire to nurture, we are not taught how to deal with stress or anxiety of caring for another person (or pet) when we can not really fix the situation.

Caring without having control can cause anxiety and can lead to depression. In my own life, as a caregiver for my wife, I have experienced the closeness that caring can bring to a relationship and yet the stress and depression that can come from a situation that does not come to a positive resolution, is very difficult to live with. As I have advised others, I practice stress and anxiety management. I get regular exercise. I try to eat in a “healthy” way. I maintain friendships that are positive and therapeutic. I keep busy and productive. BUT, I have those moments when I lie awake, with a mind that will not stop its endless chatter, filling me with worry and concern for my beloved partner. There is not much else I can do but worry, but worry is not helpful.

There are times when my consciousness will drift into a place of spiritual insight and feel the power of these lessons. Though my heart is heavy and my mind races with anxious thoughts, deep inside I touch the source of some unclear wisdom regarding the “point” and the lesson that I am struggling to learn. My only thought for you, if you find yourself in this predicament, is to calm yourself as much as possible (not an easy request) and then go deep within to bask in the light of unconditional love. Find and celebrate the lesson. In this case remember that you can not “push the river.” Sometimes we must just find the feeling and the wisdom of acceptance.

And, do not forget your need for self-care to help sustain you through this difficult lesson. Also, celebrate every moment. Try not to live in the past or in the future. As is said, “Be Here Now!”

Please take GOOD care of yourself!