Thoughts That Keep You Awake: Better Sleep

Almost every one of us has had our sleep interrupted or prevented by uncontrollable thoughts that run through our conscious minds. Reduced quality of rest has a negative effect on our performance and quality of life in many situations. So learning to control these distracting thoughts, or perhaps better, preventing these thoughts from racing through our minds, when we should be sleeping, would be a positive. Easier said than done…

I have had difficulty with avoiding certain anxiety producing conversations with my wife at bedtime or just after the “lights go out.” This is not unique because this can be a good time to have an undistracted conversation. However, an unsettling conversation as I am trying to let go of the thoughts of the day can open the doors for consideration of the dilemmas of life which can prevent an easy path to a restful sleep.

These conversations can be important and necessary. It is just the timing of these moments of communication that I find difficult. There are better times in the day to work on these important subjects. The bottom line is that at “bedtime” there is not much that you can do with the new information other than ruminate or fret over it.

The things that are the most stressful are things that you care the most about but which you can not control. As an example, parents usually care about what happens to their child (or children) but often the parent can not control every detail regarding what our offspring will be confronted by. When we experience difficulties with jobs/careers, finance, relationships, health concerns (for ourselves or our loved ones,) changes in our economy, weather, or even the process of aging, we can find ourselves troubled by distracted minds stressed by these events that we have little or no ability to control. These distractions dance through our minds and set off our primitive survival responses and this, in turn, does not allow our minds to relax and drift into soothing, restful sleep.

Medications can relax some of the systems that can keep us awake. Drugs can mask the emotional challenge, but not solve the roots of this challenge. Drug use can also lead to physical and emotional dependency which creates more problems. Better solutions include appropriate communication and problem solving. Some people can benefit from adjusting their attitudes realizing that the things they can not control may be better tolerated if one learns to accept the issue and to build a more solid emotional foundation to help stabilize our responses in these difficult times. (Again, easier said than done, but worth developing as a preventive mechanism.)

Self-care will help give you strength to tolerate these difficult situations. Physical exercise, eating well (healthy), and regular relaxation/meditation will help. Counseling which can help create emotional and spiritual support may be helpful, additionally. Most importantly, deal with your challenges during the day. It may not be best to discuss, or to mentally work on these issues at bedtime.

The 50 to 1 Countdown exercise that I teach in other blogs, articles, and in the book is a great technique to help quiet the mind and promote a deep and restful sleep. Consider trying it. For more individualized coaching, consider our professional coaching for enhancing performance and productivity by contact us through the Stress Education Center’s website at Stress Education Center’s website

Please take good care of yourself.

Dangers of Ignoring the Impact of Stress: Why are we in denial?

Have you ever experienced any stress? Is the world more stressful now than it was 20 years ago? Have you ever experience physical or emotional symptoms that are made worse as a response to stress? Do you believe that the best solution to stress is getting drunk or taking drugs?

I ask these questions many times per month to groups I train or individuals I coach. Without exception, people respond by saying that there is plenty of stress out in the world. It can be a distraction and effect physical and emotional health.

Now I ask you, what do you do, on a daily basis, to control your responses to stress? Do you meditate or practice stress management for 20 minutes per day? Most people say that they are too busy for 20 minutes of relaxation. People think that there is some easier way to control stress like taking medication. It is not convenient to practice stress management, so why bother to do it? The other response that many people use when confronted by the challenges of stress is to a point a finger and then blame someone or something else, rather that to take any responsibility for ones own habitual response to life’s stress.

Do not believe me without testing this out for yourself, but most people find that by practicing 20 minutes of deep relaxation, daily, they will actually save time and energy. Research suggests that 20 minutes of deep relaxation can take the place of as much as 2 hours of sleep and the sleep that you do get will be deeper and more restful. When I first heard this statistic I did not believe it, as most of you will not. I tested the statement and after 3 months I discovered that I required less sleep. Instead of needing 8.5 hours of sleep, I was getting rested with only 7 hours of sleep. So I invested 20 minutes and required 1.5 hours less sleep time, so I came out ahead by one hour and ten minutes. Many of my Executive Coaching clients, after I convince them to try the 20 minutes of stress management, report that they get more work done in less time, with less energy, because they are better able to focus and make fewer mistakes. I challenge you to try this activity for 8-12 weeks and find the benefits that will surface.

People resist trying new things even if these “new things” are good for them. In fact, people are so overwhelmed that most of us are apathetic about taking good care of ourselves. We simply do not have the energy to care… Making time, even just 20 minutes per day, is painful and difficult. Motivation is low for using stress management preventively. Stress can cause headaches, high blood pressure, insomnia, rapid heart rates, anxiety, depression, GI complaints, sexual dysfunction, back or neck pain, and poor quality of life, and yet most people would rather develop annoying or dangerous symptoms rather than practice stress management…

Most people have an unconscious need to get beaten up by stress as if it were their badge of honor for surviving our hectic world… There are a few genetic immunes who thrive on stress, with no sleep, and they make the rest of us mere mortals look bad. These “immunes” are in denial and stress will eventually affect their health or their relationships in negative ways. In Japan there is a word “Karoshi” which translates; people who work themselves to death. There is an addiction to work in our society and we need to be aware that the long term consequences of this attitude are high costs to our health, relationships, and quality of life.

When we are younger, we can get away with not sleeping or self-care. We are young and strong and flexible, but as we get older, we lose our flexibility and our strength. We have to learn how to do things smarter instead of “muscling through.” If we don’t, we will pay the price and our denial will not save us from our suffering.

Things in life that are the most stressful are the things that you care the most about but that you can not control. The only thing that you can control is the way that you respond in these difficult situations but this can take time and effort.

Please take your head out of the sand and take good care of yourself. Even if this means spending 20 minutes per day with stress management. It will save you time, energy, and even money in the long run.

L. John Mason, Ph.D. is the country’s leading expert on stress management and the author of the best selling “Guide to Stress Reduction.” Since 1977, he has offered Executive Coaching and Training. In 1978, he opened the Stress Education Center www.dstress.com.

Relaxation Strategies for Sleep

Relaxation Strategies for Improving Your Sleep

I am L. John Mason, Ph.D. and founder of the Stress Education Center (in 1978.) Over the years of private practice, I have coached many clients in stress management techniques that can work to improve sleep. In this blog, I want to offer a little background information and then teach some effective relaxation strategies.

To begin, most people will find difficulty getting to sleep or staying asleep at some point in their lives. There a physical and emotional reasons to these sleeping robbing periods. Many people will discover that stress which is held in your body can keep your mind too active to fall asleep or can cause unconscious tensions that keep you from getting the best quality of sleep and rest. If stress is adding to your sleeping challenges look first for levels of muscle tension especially in your jaw, forehead, neck/shoulders, and your back. Releasing this tension, easier said than done, can lead to sleep improvement and general health and well-being. Also, consider breathing techniques that can slow your heart rate and help to relax muscles. This is best done by slow, diaphragmatic breathing which is taught in many places like yoga, meditation, respiratory therapy, and in books like Guide to Stress Reduction (my first book.)

Breathing and counting slowly can help relax your body and your mind. Two of favorite techniques are:
1. 1-4, 1-4, 1-8 breathing. Slowly breathe in counting 1,2,3,4, then pause comfortably counting 1,2,3,4, and then slowly exhale counting 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8, for 4-8 breaths. You can do this longer if you need but go as slowly as is comfortable.

2. Another great breathing and counting exercise is to count backward slowly from 50-1. Do this in this special way: count 50 then 1,2,3, then, 49 then 1,2,3, then, 48 then 1,2,3, then, 47 then 1,2,3, and so on until you get down to one. This exercise is so relaxing for a busy mind that it will want to go to sleep to avoid the counting. This works great if you awaken during the night with difficulty returning to sleep.

You can also benefit from slowly repeating calming suggestions to yourself. Consider closing your eyes, letting your head sink back into the pillow, take 3 slow deep breaths, and then repeat (mentally) “I am at peace with myself and fully relaxed.” This can train you to let go of stress and to ease yourself gently into sleep.

If you feel that you require a deeper level of relaxation, you can practice deep relaxation like the technique written out at the Stress Education Center’s article page http://www.dstress.com/articles/basic-guided-relaxation/ . With practice over several weeks, you will get very good at relaxation and stress management and this will lead to improved sleep.

Massage, warm water (or spa treatment), other forms of meditation, and gentle movement like yoga, when practiced, can also lead to better relaxation and improved, restful sleep.

Good luck with these techniques and good health. Contact me with any questions and please take good care of yourself. L. John Mason, Ph.D.

How Much Sleep Do YOU Need?

I am L. John Mason, Ph.D. and I founded the Stress Education Center (www.dstress.com) in 1978. Like you, I have required sleep every day of my life. But the question arises, how much sleep do you require to be happy, healthy, and most productive. This is more complicated than you might image. Even the “Sleep experts” have difficulty agreeing because this is such a complicated question. There is a great deal of good information about sleep and how much you may require at the “Sleep Foundation’s” website at http://www.sleepfoundation.org/

Since everyone has different lifestyles, health backgrounds, ages, and living environments the understanding regarding your specific requirements for sleep gets difficult. Experts do agree that babies and young children require more sleep that most adults. The chart below comes from National Sleep Foundation.

Age: Sleep Needs:
Newborns (0-2 Months) 12-18 hours/day of sleep
Infants (3-11 Months) 14-15 hours
Toddlers (1-3 Years) 12-14 hours
Preschool (3-5 Years) 11-13 hours
School Age (5-10 Years) 10-11 hours
Teens (10-17 Years) 8.5-9.25 hours
Adults 7-9 hours

As you can see, this may not fit for many of us who get less than 7 hours of sleep due to choice or lifestyle. There is also research that suggests that too much sleep can have negative impacts for many people as well. The “quality” of your sleep will also be a factor in the duration that you require for sleep. The quality of sleep will be discussed in another blog as well as tips for getting the best sleep.

In a recent article at http://www.foxnews.com/health/2012/04/27/30-percent-us-workers-dont-get-enough-sleep/ researchers reported that 30% of workers are not getting enough sleep and it affects their work.

We need to understand our own body’s requirements for sleep to determine the best length for our best health. If you wake tired, you can assume that you are not getting enough “quality” sleep. Reduced sleep can lead to low energy, poor concentration and reduced productivity, possible depression, weight gain, and a variety of more serious health challenges, including heart disease. Too much sleep can lead to accidents, illnesses, and even death as reported by sleep researchers. The “right” amount of sleep will vary for you and is affected by what your environment and life changes can do to your physical and emotional health & well-being. Changing work schedules (or activities like classes) can be factors that need to be considered in your need for sleep and need to be taken into account as you determine how much sleep you require. Also, talk to your doctor about how medications, diet, and especially caffeine can be affecting you and your requirements for sleep.

Stress management can offer better sleep, better focus, and control of the anxiety that can be negative on your quality of life. Consider the information offered by the Stress Education Center at www.dstress.com including the audio download for stress control to improve your sleep.

Sleep Better Now !

18% of American adults complain to their doctors that they are tired and can not get enough “quality” sleep. Over 50% of the population has occasional problems: getting to sleep, staying asleep, or feeling rested upon awakening. Sleep medication is a best selling product. Tired workers make mistakes, get injured, and have accidents. We have a tired, maybe “sleepy” population. There are some simple but powerful things that you can do to minimize insomnia in your life.

Here is a great technique which is very relaxing. Especially useful if you have difficulty getting to sleep or you awaken during the night.

50 to 1 Countdown

As the name implies you count backward from 50 down to 1. The difference is that you count “1,2,3” between every number. So the counting goes: 50, 1,2,3, 49, 1,2,3, 48, 1,2,3, 47, 1,2,3, 46, 1,2,3,…… etc.
Your mind will be busy with these numbers and then get bored with the counting so that it will go to sleep (or back to sleep.) With an even pace this takes about 3 minutes to get down to 1, if you get that far. Some people can get to 1, but the second time through this counting they usually drift off.

This breathing/counting technique can be combined with a few simple changes that will compliment to effectiveness of this exercise.

• 1. Reduce, or better still, eliminate caffeine, even that one cup in the mourning. Many people are sensitive to caffeine, even a small amount. De-caf is an alternative.
• 2. Regular exercise will help, but not just before bedtime. Give it at least an hour, better 2, before bed.
• 3. Do not eat a big meal with 2 hours of bedtime, because this can get in the way of good sleep.
• 4. If all else fails, consider getting, and using, a guided relaxation on CD to help you to relax and to fall asleep. You will also benefit from a better quality of sleep.Try this. It can really work well for you.Please take good care of yourself.

L. John Mason, Ph.D. is the author of the best selling “Guide to Stress Reduction.” Since 1977, he has offered Executive Coaching and Training. www.dstress.com

Please visit the Stress Education Center’s website for articles, free ezine signup, and learn about the new telecourses that are available. If you would like information or a targeted proposal for training or coaching, please contact us at (360) 593-3833.

Tips for Getting Better Sleep

Since 1978, I have been coaching my clients on improving their sleep. I am L. John Mason, Ph.D. and founder to the Stress Education Center. In this blog, I would to offer the best tips for getting the sleep you require and deserve.

Add any or all of these tips to your life until you find the ones that work for you.
1. Create your own bedtime ritual for preparing for sleep. Use a regular bedtime and allow as much time for sleep as you require (and we are all a bit different in this requirement.) Some clients will take a warm bath or shower to relax before heading for bed. Other people may read calming books or articles that do not stimulate too much thinking. TV news is NOT ideal before sleep for most people.
2. Avoid stimulants like caffeine. Many people find that even one cup of coffee in the morning can affect their sleep at night. Be aware of how much caffeine you use and when you consume it.
3. Limit your bed activities to sleep and sex, so you do not get into the habit of being awake in bed. (Even though TV, reading, work, and telephone calls are possible activities, these may not help your bedtime sleeping.)
4. Avoid eating big meals or drinking alcohol late in your day for these can reduce your ability to get quality sleep.
5. Create a calm, safe, dark, warm (enough,) quiet space to sleep. Avoid unnecessary stimulation.
6. If your mind is racing and filled with clutter, consider making a list or using a journal so you do need to keep all this information in your head.
7. Eat a healthy diet. (Remember to not eat too late and avoid caffeine and stimulants.)
8. Get regular exercise but not too close to bedtime.
9. Avoid using sleeping pills regularly.
10.Avoid naps, if you are having difficulty sleeping at bedtime. (Though meditations have be helpful and can take the place of some need for sleep.)
11.Consider using relaxation techniques especially ones that will aid in muscular relaxation and in slow down your mind. More in the next blog but using simple breathing techniques can be great at bedtime.
Two other online articles and resources can be found at:
7 tips for sleep from the Mayo clinic http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/sleep/HQ01387 7 is stress reduction
12 tips for sleep from Harvard medical center http://healthysleep.med.harvard.edu/healthy/getting/overcoming/tips no stress
Please take good care of yourself and get enough good quality sleep.