Unique Spiritual Signature

My recent experience with sending unconditional Love and healing energy to friend has triggered more learning for me through Guidance. In the recent blog posting regarding keeping your channel open, I was given the gift from my guidance that as we offer healing energy the transmitted energy has a unique spiritual signature. As if, the loving energy we send out has some of our spiritual DNA attached. Guidance celebrates when we give our specific energy to a person or when we randomly send this offering out into the Universe and it is marked by your uniqueness. All loving energy you consciously or unconsciously send out has your DNA signature added automatically. (Thank you for your unique contributions…)

My mentor, Don Ley, has said many times, after returning from his NDE, that we as humans do not realize how powerful and amazing we are. Our egos and our 3 dimensional thinking, pretends that we are smaller than we actually are. This may be used to pretend to keep us “safe” as if we were inconsequential and not worthy of the spotlight. Don Ley and other conscious teachers remind us that we are all connected to the Divine Spirit and that we are essential to all of higher consciousness. The “Divine” notices and in an accepting and neutral way, witnesses every action and every interaction which we participate within. Yes, even if we do not consciously know or fully understand. Our sharing of stories, our wisdom, and our energy is noticed and supported by the Divine.

When you pray for the “greater good” and Universal healing, this intentional energy spreads out in every direction like ripples on the surface of an endless pond. Your intentional healing thought and energy travels to the end of the Universe AND it carries your Unique Spiritual Signature. Every thought and action has a purpose. It flows out to create waves which wash across the vastness of the physical world and the Higher Realms. When you send unconditional Love and Healing all of consciousness is bathed in the positive energy. It then raises all Universal consciousness to some degree. Thank You!

So celebrate your power and your energetic gifts as they flow out to support all consciousness. Now, you can think yourself “small” and argue with me. You can ask me to prove this concept to you. But your mind and your ego will NEVER understand how important you and your contributions are to the Higher Realms. Your mind is 3 dimensional and wired to have limitations of time and space which are not limited to you when you are floating in the higher realms. Your body is a great communication device in your miraculous human life drama. Your drama and your lessons are used to experience challenges and work through these human scenarios.

You are important and essential to all consciousness. You can be aware and hold yourself responsible mentally for your actions or you can enjoy the dark corners which you be hiding out within. Either way, YOU are a Miracle! You are Perfect! You are a Blessing! And, YOU are unconditionally Loved!!!

When possible, send your Love and energy with your Unique Spiritual Signature out for all consciousness to bask in your light. Thank You, in advance…

Resource: Don Ley’s interview regarding his NDE is available at: Don Ley’s NDE Interview

Sweet Surrender: Our Cord to the Divine

Be Brave! You have to be brave to Surrender. Most of us are fighting our fears. We are fighting for consciousness as we attempt to learn how to live most Joyfully and Gracefully. We are fighting with change because the unknown, triggers fear in our Ego-Mentality and is a challenge in letting go of “familiar beliefs” and attitudes. Also, the people around us in our lives, family and friends, often dislike our growth and positive change because it can leave them (and their “needs”) behind. To Surrender to the Divine Spirit you must bravely release the known attitudes, tear down your defensive walls, and experience unconditional love and acceptance. Often this requires us to rethink our life’s priorities and long held beliefs.

Sweet Surrender to the Divine becomes an act of trust and bravery. You have a “Choice” to Surrender. An important distinction is that you can not Make Surrender, you must Allow Surrender. Making is what the controlling Ego/Mind wants to do. To construct the Divine is not within the ability of the Mind. To Allow the Divine Spirit to come into your consciousness is possible and worth your efforts… This effort, largely, comes through awareness and then Surrender to Universal Divine.

When you stop fighting with your fears and blocks, you can then “Flow” with the Guidance as you surrender. Letting go of your resistance (based in fear) you can allow the clear connection with the Divine to be remembered. Your intuition and your guidance comes from within you. It is the remembering of your own perfection. It is the reminder of you as a unique miracle connected to, and coming from, the Source. If you quit fighting the current that often is sweeping you along, you can more freely flow with the loving energy which connects you to the Divine Spirit.

Remember, you can NOT be a Warrior for the Divine, forcing enlightened thinking upon those around you! Everybody gets there on their own and when the situation is right for them. You can be a Warrior and Master of your ability to role model consciousness, awareness, acceptance, wisdom, and the unconditional love which is in your (and every soul’s) heart as the perfect connection to the Divine Spirit. You can not force consciousness. “You can lead a horse to water but you can NOT make him drink,” is an old expression. You can share your story. You can live your story but you can not force your beliefs, effectively, unless invited…

If you have read this far, ask yourself, why have I denied my connection with my own true spirit? Have I followed other people’s philosophy or religion, which serves the mind and perhaps not the Heart? Can I be brave and allow myself to flow into remembering my perfection and connection with the Divine Spirit? Can I allow myself to feel the “Joy” of Remembering my unique place in the Universe? You are a Miracle! You are a Blessing! Whether you know it or not you are a Master! No one can do you better than than you of being you and this role you play is important to all of us. Is it time to Surrender and to reconnect with your consciousness and its cord to the Divine?

If you are READY and looking for a supportive community where you can share your story, your wisdom, and grow spiritually in a non-religious environment, consider Masters of the Journey.
You are a Blessing! You are a Master! Your wisdom from your life experience can have great value to other pilgrims on the path toward awakening and enlightenment.

The Masters of the Journey has events which are updated on our Facebook page which is found at: www.facebook.com/mastersofthejourney Please comment on this blog and share, if appropriate. More of our blogs are based on spiritual consciousness and can be found at www.dstress.com/blog

You Think You Know Who You Are!

You THINK you know who you are AND that is the problem. Thinking has limits! If we are lucky, our mind can deal with 2 or 3 or maybe 4 dimensions. This is the limitation on “Egoic” thinking. Many more dimensions exist and these include our “true Home” in the greater realms of the Divine Spirit. The incarnation you are reading this blog within is like a stripped down version, or cartoon version, of who you really are. Your Soul or Spirit are limitless, beyond space and time. I know this from the feelings experienced in my NDE (my Near Death Experience or perhaps my STE’s (Spiritually Transformative Experiences.)) Maybe you have experience and so “Know” or “Remember” your existence before you came into this life.

Work to Remember where your true Home is within the broader, multi-dimensional Divine Spirit. Your HOME back before this incarnation was full of supportive unconditional love, Wisdom of the Divine, Freedom beyond limiting time and space, and completely “Connected” with everything in the Universe, and beyond. There are no words to describe this most completely.

HOME will be there after this life when you are transforming from the “meat suit” you now wear. AND, your Home is available NOW in the present beyond the limitations of your thinking, Egoic mind. You can feel it with your Heart and by Remembering where you have come from. “We are here for a while and then we move on” into another dimension of the Divine Spirit, says Brother Bob Trask. This is discussed by most NDE (Near Death Experience) survivors who tell their familiar stories from beyond the Veil. We come to our lives to accomplish our dreams and our purpose. We come to learn and to grow AND to support and serve all the other souls we bump into! Whether you know this or not, We are ALL Old Souls who have been around forever, since the beginning of the Divine Spirit’s consciousness (forever.)

Reminder: You are “Perfect” as you are! The character you are “playing” in this life is perfect. You are doing a great job! No one else could be a better YOU! But, please remember that you are not just the necessary, essential character that you are playing out in this incarnation. You are so much more! Grander and Limitless and well beyond the 3 dimensions we have chosen to exist within. Do NOT let anyone convince you that you are not Perfect and an unbelievable Miracle. Thank you for being you! We all need you being the best of who you are. Continue to learn and to grow in consciousness until you remember your Divine Spirit and live more fully in Enlightenment.

All things are Possible if we allow our limitless self to come forward into our “present.” We are tapped into all wisdom, all knowing, limitless power and connection. We can find our way to realize this expansive divine and this is a task all incarnated, conscious souls strive for. You are Amazing and a Miracle! Please be as conscious as possible and do not miss an opportunity to: Love – Serve – Remember who you really are…

Live beyond what you THINK. Remember and Feel the true YOU!

If you are READY and looking for a supportive community where you can share your story, your wisdom, and grow spiritually in a non-religious environment, consider Masters of the Journey.

You are a Blessing! You are a Master! Your wisdom from your life experience can have great value to other pilgrims on the path toward awakening and enlightenment.

The Masters of the Journey has events which are updated on our Facebook page which is found at: www.facebook.com/mastersofthejourney Please comment on this blog and share, if appropriate. More of our blogs are based on spiritual consciousness and can be found at www.dstress.com/blog

Think beyond your limits. Think with your heart. Think in higher dimensions. Think that you do not have limits.

Listening to That Small Voice in Your Soul

Yes, it is time to remind myself and “you” to pay attention to that ever present, though quiet, small voice. Not the judgmental narrative of the mind BUT the sweet, wisdom which comes from the source which we are all connected to, the Divine Spirit. Yup, I am reading Michael Singer’s book, “The Untethered Soul,” and a little book my new friend, Royce Williams, sent to me authored by his mom, Lee Williams, in 1994 entitled, “Heaven and Earth.” Both include, in their own way, the reminder (or new consciousness info for some) that we may not be bound to always listening to the 3 dimensional, fear based thinking, that is generated in the mind/ego.

What if we all practiced Mindfulness and we could:
Offer Unconditional Love and Acceptance
Be most aware of our real role in the Perfect Universe
Share our Wisdom Freely
Live in Joy
Avoid getting caught in the traps of fear and drama
Embrace Interconnection and Compassion
Remember the Impermanence of our 3 Dimensional World
Live in the Beginners Mind of Wonderment and Gratitude???

I have said this before and repeat again, YOU ARE MUCH GREATER THAN YOU MIGHT KNOW or at least give yourself credit for being! You are a Perfect hologram of the Divine Wisdom and can find peace and consciousness by going within. All you gotta do is quiet the yelling from your mind/ego (based in fear and insecurity) and ask the questions of your soul to find the answers which allow you to move forward toward higher consciousness and perhaps, Enlightenment (whatever that may be…) Michael Singer’s first 40 pages in his book offers a brilliant explanation, with out quoting research studies, regarding the way the mind and the spirit within you operates. He creates awareness that will change the way you “think” and better assist you in the process of finding the deeper truth of who you are.

Why is this important, you ask? ‘Cause I say so! AND, the fear and pain that comes from the survival instincts of your mind/ego can keep you from finding JOY and peace. Knowing and listening to your quiet small voice reduces your belief in separation and the concept you are distinct from all other things in our Universe. The Small voice helps you to reconnect with sources of wisdom which can assist you in the challenges you confront as you move along the path in this life.

It will not solve all your problems but the small voice can create the insight into how all of these learnings and interactions will benefit you, and so, benefit the Universal Spirit. We are not alone. We are all in this together. You can “circle the wagons” and continue to support the “rationale” of separation but, sooner or later, you will develop enough of your spiritual connection with the “Divine” so you will start to “Remember” who you really are and where you come from. And as Lee Williams says, embrace the “light and the dark” in awareness of the perfection and balance these seemingly opposites create.

If you desire a copy of Lee Williams’ book, “Heaven and Earth,” Please contact her son, Royce Williams at: – royce@miscreants.org – This book will cost $11.00 and includes shipping in the U.S.A. (Contact Royce for payment and to get your mailing address.

If you are READY and looking for a supportive community where you can share your story, your wisdom, and grow spiritually in a non-religious environment, consider Masters of the Journey.
You are a Blessing! You are a Master! Your wisdom from your life experience can have great value to other pilgrims on the path toward awakening and enlightenment.

The Masters of the Journey has events which are updated on our Facebook page which is found at: www.facebook.com/mastersofthejourney Please comment on this blog and share, if appropriate. More of our blogs are based on spiritual consciousness and can be found at www.dstress.com/blog

The “Supposed” To Do Life Activities

Have you ever felt like you were Supposed to do something in your life? Have you ever been told that you were Supposed to do a certain thing? Did this “Supposed” to do… come from your mind/ego OR from an external source? Was this an internal expectation or were you “guided” by the Divine Spirit to a “Calling?”

There is a difference and a dilemma to the “Supposed” to do activities in your life. If your mind and ego tell you that you are supposed to do this or that, or to be this or that, should you comply? If your “gut” tells you through your intuition and a spiritual guidance to “show up” a certain way, do you follow through or do you ignore this divine request? AND, how can you tell the difference between an ego driven expectation and a message from the Universe?

An example comes from my life experience. In the Summer of 2015, I moved to Bellingham, WA. My gut told me me to build a “community” where people could connect around non-religious spiritual consciousness. My previous life experience in this area was non-existent however I was “guided” to work on this project. My “life’s work” began to look more than weird to people who knew me because I was not a religious or overtly spiritual person. The work was satisfying and compelling. With assistance, I worked on a website, a blog, and began scheduling meetings. The people I met were invited and many came to our Masters of the Journey community. Why? Because we were all “supposed” to create a supportive community which honors each and every human as a “Master” based on the life experience and wisdom gained from the experience of moving consciously through life. This was not something I knew or chose to do. I was compelled and driven to fulfill this “dream” of community.

Another example is from Bill Hart. Watch his short video, “Shoulder Taps.” Available on YouTube at: https://www.facebook.com/bill.hart.338/videos
Bill shares his story regarding being compelled, “supposed,” to connect with another person in a story with relevance to this discussion.

You have come to the crossroads in your life when you needed to make a choice and you have been driven to follow the path less traveled. It was probably not a “rational” thought but, if you took responsibility for your action/decision, you look back on your choice and realize that this was the thing you were “supposed” to do at that time. Sure it may have been challenging or seemingly an unsuccessful attempt at whatever, but you learned from this experience and you were compelled to follow that particular path… You life has been richer because you followed your heart/gut.

When your mind came up with a new scheme to invest money or to find a more “profitable” endeavor did your gut tell you to do this or did you look around and decided that you “should do” this or that. If you connected with feeling and not just the thought, you may have wondered why you were following this path. Sometimes it works out well, sometimes it works out to be an important lesson of what to do or what to avoid in the future. But, if you were driven and passionate about this new direction then perhaps you were supposed to follow this direction. We have all had these feelings which seemed to overcome our rational thoughts. Following your passion can get you to move your life in strange or unusual directions and these often lead to important discoveries and powerful moments in your life. You are richer for taking these risks and living your passion. (Without following these “Shoulder Taps” or gut feelings, you may not have found your relationship, your career, your life changing travel experience, or even your moment of “awakening!”)

If you are READY and looking for a supportive community where you can share your story, your wisdom, and grow spiritually in a non-religious environment, consider Masters of the Journey.
You are a Blessing! You are a Master! Your wisdom from your life experience can have great value to other pilgrims on the path toward awakening and enlightenment.

The Masters of the Journey has events which are updated on our Facebook page which is found at: www.facebook.com/mastersofthejourney Please comment on this blog and share, if appropriate. More of our blogs are based on spiritual consciousness and can be found at www.dstress.com/blog

Beginner’s Mind Revisited!

“In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, in the expert’s mind there are few.”

“The more advanced you are in spiritual consciousness, the more you experience the “present” in the Beginner’s Mind.”

I have heard this expression, “Beginner’s Mind,” before and this week it has come up several more times in very different conversations. When a concept comes up several times in different situations… perhaps you should pay attention because the Universe is trying to tell you something. For me, this means writing about it and attempting to be more conscious regarding this concept and how I may want to apply it.

What is “Beginner’s Mind?”
Wikipedia defines “Beginner’s Mind” by first giving it it’s Zen name, “Shoshin”:
Shoshin (初心) is a concept in Zen Buddhism meaning “beginner’s mind”. It refers to having an attitude of openness, eagerness, and lack of preconceptions when studying a subject, even when studying at an advanced level, just as a beginner in that subject would. The term is especially used in the study of Zen Buddhism and Japanese martial arts.

The phrase is also used in the title of the book Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind by the Zen teacher Shunryu Suzuki, who says the following about the correct approach to Zen practice:
“In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, in the expert’s mind there are few.”

Well, this article is an attempt to explore not only what it might mean but why it has value.
My sage spiritual mentor, Rodger, threw out words like:
Be open
Nonjudgmental to new information and experiences
Be Curious
Be “Present” (not distracted or too busy to see the forest from the trees…)

New experiences, information, relationships, thoughts, guidance, epiphanies, insights, revelations, feelings, knowings, “remembering” concepts, etc … all come to people who are open, curious, ready for more input into their lives and their consciousness. But, do you judge and look for flaws or weaknesses, or places for disagreement or are you more curious? Do you have a more rigid view of the world where new thoughts or experiences are NOT trusted and dismissed because these do not fit with what you already know or believe? Are these new experiences contrary to what you think, know or feel? Are you fearful because these are new and different or do you celebrate the exciting fresh possibilities?

Do you look at a new person you meet and ask about them and what they are most passionate about? Or, do you find them to be competitors for attention and you attempt to find ways to disqualify these new characters who are joining your “drama?”

“Beginner’s Mind” is not, just, for beginners. It is for every advanced “consciousness seeker” who has the innocence to experience insights and who can be open for moments of intense spiritual awakening. (Perhaps, we should all strive for this way of gathering our spiritual development.

Tip: Observe a young innocent child of 2 or 3 or perhaps 4 years of age as they react to a new object in their world. (It could be a new skill such as talking or walking or running or using a slide in the park.) Observe their excitement and wonderment as they explore the new point of focus. They may be filled with joy, and showing it. They are definitely “present” and engaged. This is how we can choose to be when we are walking through life. This is the manifestation of the most curious Beginner’s Mind…

Consider the limitations of fear and the “Glass half Empty” approach to life. It is safe. But, YOU have to work your way through the fears and self-imposed barriers to your life’s learnings. Adventures are not for the timid but make a life more exciting, memorable, and worth living! Be “present” as you travel through your new life experiences AND keep your head up with your eyes focused on the horizon. As a young child might celebrate in joy the new challenges which cross your path!

To explore more topics of spiritual development consider participating in our community, Masters of the Journey or visit our Facebook page at: www.facebook.com/mastersofthejourney

One thought restated:
Do you remember when you were a young child in this lifetime and you found the joy, the delight, and the wonderment in each new object or skill you discovered? This can be the way you experience each day, each new occurrence, and each new person who falls into your life. The power of the “Beginners Mind” is found in the joy of each new experience, each new learning, each new developing consciousness, or most importantly, each new “Remembering” of your Divine Wisdom that you find within your soul/spirit.

Your Thoughts Can Get in the Way

Allow your thoughts to pass through you without a negative judgement or holding on too tightly. These thoughts passing through are just concepts that you are just “trying on.”
Release your attachment! And, release your self-hatred or self negative self-judgement!

Do NOT beat yourself up for your perception and judgements of your thoughts.

With the emotions and thoughts that bubble up, like: anger, hostility, grief, fear, anxiety, self-loathing, remember, this “Game” is never over! You will continue to have judgements and thoughts bubbling through your consciousness. Attempt to not take these too seriously and get attached to the notions and ideas that may be based out of separation and defense of the ego. When my consciousness is in a stronger, spiritual mind-set, I will smile or even laugh at myself as I view the world through this judgement. For sure, this is NOT always possible especially when I have a strong emotional attachment or feel “attacked.” But, when I can get some distance and have a broader outlook, I can find my reactions to my thoughts entertaining and realize that these are exercises and “tests” for my growing consciousness.

It would help to be honest with your self-awareness even when you can remember that You need not be humble in all thoughts and situations. Sometimes honesty includes the realization and acknowledgement that you are actually good, or even superior, at doing some thing…

In writing about this, I have another thought pop up. When we struggle with the deepest remembering regarding are real, and much larger than this life, selves, we can get scared as we realize that we are fully responsible for the choices which are made… (my friend, Don, when he “returned” from his Near Death Experience (NDE) a few years ago, he awoke giggling. He giggled for three months. He giggled because he realized “how petty” our self-perceptions are, realizing that “we are so much Bigger than we realize.” See his video interview in full on YouTube at https://youtu.be/Kj_Jjsfpn-g?list=PLsWsoFPYKTDCboCGQo1Bf0TmpheRH6stb

Face your Fear!

We are often too overwhelmed and afraid of our own perfection. It is too much responsibility to NOT have any excuses…

So, Face Your Fear!

You are Divine! – Deal with it!

You are Perfect! – Live with it!

You are a Blessing! – Know it!

You are God! – Remember it!

You have a purpose… – Do it!

If you do not know your purpose or you do not remember your purpose or you are in denial about your purpose…

You are here to serve! Take the hand of your fellow pilgrim and assist them in remembering their Divinity!

When you are ready to own your Divinity and share your wisdom from your life’s experiences, consider your contribution to our supportive community, Masters of the Journey.

The Masters of the Journey has events which are updated on our Facebook page which is found at: www.facebook.com/mastersofthejourney Please comment on this blog and share, if appropriate. More of our blogs are based on spiritual consciousness and can be found at www.dstress.com/blog

Oneness vs Self

Dilemma: Oneness and 100% connection versus the preservation and requirements of Self-care…

Is there a conflict or not? Does the concept of “Oneness” mean Selfless and complete lack of Separation from all other Divine Souls or can the human incarnation engage in the activity of Self-care?

Some say that there is Not a conflict. A priority of self-care as a priority is a demonstration of Self-love and the Self-awareness adding to the consciousness of the greater Divinity. The act of inward reflection in meditation adds to personal awareness and growth. It is an act of Self-care. It also takes the edge off mental/emotional swings of the Mind and Ego.

Self-care with exercise can allow you to find your way into the “Present” moment and can help to release guilt and the held upset from past remembrances and anxiety for the changes and unknowns of the future.

Personal reflection and insights as you view your life’s lessons and interactions is the purpose of your incarnation. We learn from “Bumping” up against our “Triggers” and testing out our new skill sets and new learnings to see how these fit our “lessons” as we plod along our paths toward greater consciousness. It forces us to accept and to love unconditionally all the people and situations our egos may find annoying, difficult or distracting.

These are our challenges and our laboratory for testing our newly developing consciousness and wisdoms. If we are “triggered,” then we have a lesson to learn more fully.

You are a Divine Soul and perfect. You are here to serve and to assist other pilgrims. Whether you know it or not, You are a Master. If you seek a non-religious community for support and to enhance your conscious development, consider Masters of the Journey and tell Your story!

Thoughts That Keep You Awake: Better Sleep

Almost every one of us has had our sleep interrupted or prevented by uncontrollable thoughts that run through our conscious minds. Reduced quality of rest has a negative effect on our performance and quality of life in many situations. So learning to control these distracting thoughts, or perhaps better, preventing these thoughts from racing through our minds, when we should be sleeping, would be a positive. Easier said than done…

I have had difficulty with avoiding certain anxiety producing conversations with my wife at bedtime or just after the “lights go out.” This is not unique because this can be a good time to have an undistracted conversation. However, an unsettling conversation as I am trying to let go of the thoughts of the day can open the doors for consideration of the dilemmas of life which can prevent an easy path to a restful sleep.

These conversations can be important and necessary. It is just the timing of these moments of communication that I find difficult. There are better times in the day to work on these important subjects. The bottom line is that at “bedtime” there is not much that you can do with the new information other than ruminate or fret over it.

The things that are the most stressful are things that you care the most about but which you can not control. As an example, parents usually care about what happens to their child (or children) but often the parent can not control every detail regarding what our offspring will be confronted by. When we experience difficulties with jobs/careers, finance, relationships, health concerns (for ourselves or our loved ones,) changes in our economy, weather, or even the process of aging, we can find ourselves troubled by distracted minds stressed by these events that we have little or no ability to control. These distractions dance through our minds and set off our primitive survival responses and this, in turn, does not allow our minds to relax and drift into soothing, restful sleep.

Medications can relax some of the systems that can keep us awake. Drugs can mask the emotional challenge, but not solve the roots of this challenge. Drug use can also lead to physical and emotional dependency which creates more problems. Better solutions include appropriate communication and problem solving. Some people can benefit from adjusting their attitudes realizing that the things they can not control may be better tolerated if one learns to accept the issue and to build a more solid emotional foundation to help stabilize our responses in these difficult times. (Again, easier said than done, but worth developing as a preventive mechanism.)

Self-care will help give you strength to tolerate these difficult situations. Physical exercise, eating well (healthy), and regular relaxation/meditation will help. Counseling which can help create emotional and spiritual support may be helpful, additionally. Most importantly, deal with your challenges during the day. It may not be best to discuss, or to mentally work on these issues at bedtime.

The 50 to 1 Countdown exercise that I teach in other blogs, articles, and in the book is a great technique to help quiet the mind and promote a deep and restful sleep. Consider trying it. For more individualized coaching, consider our professional coaching for enhancing performance and productivity by contact us through the Stress Education Center’s website at Stress Education Center’s website

Please take good care of yourself.

Expectations Screw Things Up

Having expectations of other people’s performance can often lead to disappointment. Even a “sure thing,” when it comes true, can be a bit disappointing because you expected the outcome. Controlling your expectations is easier said than done, but worth the effort. I know people who celebrate their birthdays by basking in their unfulfilled expectations of what they anticipated from the people around themselves. The drama includes every manor of disappointment. Sometimes they did not get a card, or call, or present, or big enough present, or a large enough party, or…. the list can be endless…

Since we can not control what other people do, we can open ourselves for shattered expectations if we expect an outcome and the other person does not do what we might expect.

Have you ever had your expectation met and feel that it was not as satisfying as it could have been because you felt that you knew (or expected) the outcome? This turns a positive into a slightly negative experience. There may be times that you can recall when you did not expect an outcome and feel surprised and pleased by even a simple gesture, like getting flowers delivered “out of the blue.” Many people get disappointed when they travel or attend a performance where they knew exactly what was to be seen/heard and this experience did not surpass their expectations.

The interactions with people are the most difficult when you have expectations. For example, you thought you did well at the interview (or client meeting) and you find out you did not get the job (or order) that you expected you’d get. When you expect a certain recognition and it does not manifest in as grand a way as you would have liked, it often takes away from the celebration.

Expectations that are not met are stressful. We already have enough external stressors so why do we need more internally driven stressors? The lack of control over the actions, or inactions, of others is a traditionally strong stressor. Learning to control your expectations is not easy, however, breaking away from self-victimizing yourself can be a very important skill to develop. Also, appreciation of love and life is generally easier, and healthier, when expectations are not planted. Please consider living in the moment, without memories of the past or fears of the unknown future. Celebrate every moment of life for the experience you are receiving, even the difficult lessons we must bump up against. Visualize success in your activities but minimize your expectations… A difficult balancing act to achieve.