Do You Not Like Me?

Does it matter if YOU like ME? Surely, you have wondered about whether another person, perhaps an important person in your life, actually likes you. Maybe this matters because you want something from this person and they may be keeping you guessing regarding their intentions for you. Wow, what a dilemma? You may not have any control over whether this person likes you or even cares about you. What are you to do?

Perhaps, you can start by being nice and you find yourself doing things to please this other person. Or, you may be more generous to buy their positive feelings toward you. Or, you become entertaining, even funny, to win them over. Or, you try other strategies, even being forceful, to get the desired goal you aspire to achieve. If any of these strategies work, or if these attempts do not work, how will you feel about yourself? Some people will feel proud for the effort in spite of the outcome. Some people may feel hurt, angry, demoralized, or depressed when things do not turn out as they expected.

No matter what, is it worth it to try so hard to get this person to like you? Sometimes, it is. Lots of times it may not be worth your effort considering you have to live with yourself and take responsibility for your actions and your expectations. The bottom line is do you like yourself? This is your challenge because no matter what the outside people say or do, you must live in your own life. Most importantly, will you like yourself?

Can you take responsibility for your actions and your expectations? Can you accept yourself with your successes and seeming failures? Can you learn from every experience even if things do not turn out as planned. (Most people learn more from their failures than from their successes, when they take full responsibility.) Besides, expectations always screw things up. At the very best, you expected as much and often do not value your success.

It may not really matter, in the long run, whether another person really likes you and your behavior. It seems most important that you like and accept yourself even if you have flaws or imperfections or weaknesses. You have imperfections so you can learn from these, in spite of these flaws. If you live for external approval then your insecurities will dominate your life and then this becomes your lesson in this life. You can care about how you come across but you can not control the way another person may react. You must live with yourself first and not be a victim to your own expectations.

Start by knowing yourself with your strengths and weaknesses. Learn to accept what you can not change. At some point you find the perfection of who you are and the Divinity that dwells within you. You will remember that you are a perfect part of the whole of the Universal Spirit and you can like yourself and the role you have come here to play. It does not matter if another person bumps up against you and they appear to not like you… Just, love them for the perfect Divine Spirit they are and enjoy the role they are playing even if they appear to not like you… They are a part of your challenge and they can be thanked. It is a part of your spiritual enlightenment. Namaste!

Can you walk the path alone?

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You are a Blessing! You are a Master! Your wisdom from your life experience can have great value to other pilgrims on the path toward awakening and enlightenment.

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A Victim or Are You Responsible?

Have you ever complained about something in your life? Sure, everybody has. Have you ever known someone who seems to live in a state of constant complaining? Sure, you have. Have you ever noticed that people who are generally happy are also the people who seem to take responsibility for their situation, accept their challenges, and find ways of making the best out of a difficult situation? We all have challenges. That is why we were born into our lives. Some people more easily realize the benefits of learning the lessons and some people seem to like to wallow in their grievances.

Today, I spent a long half hour with a person who had a lot of upset about her childhood from 50 years ago. There was victim status and grievances written all over this suffering human. I was at a loss to fix the past childhood mishaps. My listening lost concentration because I was distracted by that “pit of the stomach feeling” that this story was a re-occuring theme and a source of deep satisfaction. Not to the listener but to the storyteller who was a “victim” of this history. There was little acknowledgement of personal responsibility by the story teller, not for the bad experiences, but for not letting them go and moving on in life. This blog is not about my acquaintance but about my lesson and my lack of patience. My mind got “triggered” as it has in the my past when a person seemed to relish their role of living as a victim. I live with my challenges, ghosts, demons, and lessons by seeing how I am responsible for these occurrences and how I can learn from them so I can move on to my next challenge.

There are times when I explain my mistakes, foibles, flaws, and weaknesses by saying, “People like to do what they are good at (and familiar with) even making the same mistake over and over…” It is familiar as a bad habit just like a familiar old annoying friend. So I must learn to celebrate the people I bump into who are deeply invested in living their lives as victims. It is NOT for me to “judge” them but it may not be my role to sit there for half and hour and listen to them complain… Obviously, I must learn my limit of “kindness” in listening and be discerning enough to know that I do not have the job of talking them out of their need to be seen as a victim…

If you have more patience to share with me, I would appreciate any gift to assist me through my lesson. AND, I celebrate you for knowing and acknowledging your responsibility in choosing your lessons in this life. We can all be reminded of our need for personal accountability for the way we respond to the challenges we meet in life. Learn to be responsible for your reactions.

If you have a story to share, consider sharing with our community, Masters of the Journey. Whether you know it or not, YOU are a Master!

PS. I was whining and sounding like a “victim” in this blog… We all have to try on the various roles and the ones that do not fit well we must discard and look for the roles that do feel correct (or better.)