Tough topic for many (most) people… Is it easier to blame others than to take responsibility for the challenges that life throws at you? Sure it is! We have been taught to defend our “position” (at any cost.) You are taught to “judge” other people and look for their weaknesses or imperfections so we can pretend to “elevate” ourselves. Winning and competing is valued by our culture. Yet, the way to a better, happier, healthier world is not found in tearing other people down or fixing our “wrong-headedness” in the concrete of our emotional foundations.
Many times, it is better to look at a difficult situation and to learn how and why We Put Ourselves in this situation. It is not a conscious choice BUT there is a lesson we are to learn from, and so, move on our path to consciousness. As an example, 19 years into my marriage with my life partner, my wife, we were confronted with a terminal diagnosis with her ovarian cancer. Initially, I was confused with why (?) and how I was going to support her and to deal with this. I do NOT wish this situation on anyone, however, I would not trade this difficult life experience. There is so much learning that comes from this situation. This brutal experience made us closer than we had ever been before. Since her death in 2012, I have continued to learn and to grow. It is a major reason I am in the position of writing this blog in an act of sharing from the lessons I am continuing to learn.
Why we were “supposed” to endure this challenge is not fully explainable. However, I realize that this experience has huge value in learning my purpose in this life and helps me to be of service, with much greater compassion and resolve. Blaming the doctor who missed the diagnosis was easy and familiar but did not serve me. I am learning that taking responsibility for my role and my learning makes me understand how best to take a seemingly negative life challenge and make this a teaching moment, not just for me, as I continue my path through this life. I never thought that after losing my marriage that I was alone, but I have learned so much more about my relationships with friends and with starting my life over (in many respects) later in this life…
My life AND YOUR life have been filled with challenges and successes which we were meant to have as developmental tools. We can blame other people and situations for the pain we have felt or we can find a way to thank these difficulties for teaching us what WE have needed to learn. We can take responsibility and NOT live as victims. We can take our learned lessons and find ways to be of service by sharing our stories and the wisdom which we have been forced to learn! We can begin to remember that the divine purpose of these trials have been presented to us not just for our learning but as a way to raise the consciousness of everyone we come into contact with.
Consider how YOU can learn from the situations where YOU feel like blaming. Consider how you are responsible for these painful situations through the choices you have chosen to make. AND, take responsibility for the wisdom you have found! Reach around and use this wisdom to assist other pilgrims you meet in this life. Fulfill your purpose to serve the divine.
Though this is difficult to read, and to understand, know that you are perfect. You are a master sent to grace this plane of consciousness with your learned wisdom. The world IS a better place because of the role you are here to play. Serve by being a light, a role model of the collected experiences and learnings you have gleaned from this human experience. Thank you for being you! Thank you for surviving and learning from the painful challenges! Blessings on your continued path.