Tag Archives: challenges

A Victim or Are You Responsible?

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Have you ever complained about something in your life? Sure, everybody has. Have you ever known someone who seems to live in a state of constant complaining? Sure, you have. Have you ever noticed that people who are generally happy are also the people who seem to take responsibility for their situation, accept their challenges, and find ways of making the best out of a difficult situation? We all have challenges. That is why we were born into our lives. Some people more easily realize the benefits of learning the lessons and some people seem to like to wallow in their grievances.

Today, I spent a long half hour with a person who had a lot of upset about her childhood from 50 years ago. There was victim status and grievances written all over this suffering human. I was at a loss to fix the past childhood mishaps. My listening lost concentration because I was distracted by that “pit of the stomach feeling” that this story was a re-occuring theme and a source of deep satisfaction. Not to the listener but to the storyteller who was a “victim” of this history. There was little acknowledgement of personal responsibility by the story teller, not for the bad experiences, but for not letting them go and moving on in life. This blog is not about my acquaintance but about my lesson and my lack of patience. My mind got “triggered” as it has in the my past when a person seemed to relish their role of living as a victim. I live with my challenges, ghosts, demons, and lessons by seeing how I am responsible for these occurrences and how I can learn from them so I can move on to my next challenge.

There are times when I explain my mistakes, foibles, flaws, and weaknesses by saying, “People like to do what they are good at (and familiar with) even making the same mistake over and over…” It is familiar as a bad habit just like a familiar old annoying friend. So I must learn to celebrate the people I bump into who are deeply invested in living their lives as victims. It is NOT for me to “judge” them but it may not be my role to sit there for half and hour and listen to them complain… Obviously, I must learn my limit of “kindness” in listening and be discerning enough to know that I do not have the job of talking them out of their need to be seen as a victim…

If you have more patience to share with me, I would appreciate any gift to assist me through my lesson. AND, I celebrate you for knowing and acknowledging your responsibility in choosing your lessons in this life. We can all be reminded of our need for personal accountability for the way we respond to the challenges we meet in life. Learn to be responsible for your reactions.

If you have a story to share, consider sharing with our community, Masters of the Journey. Whether you know it or not, YOU are a Master!

PS. I was whining and sounding like a “victim” in this blog… We all have to try on the various roles and the ones that do not fit well we must discard and look for the roles that do feel correct (or better.)

You Are a Master: Only Your Life Is “Petty”

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Whether you know this or not, YOU are a MASTER! Whether you believe it or not, you have much to say. To prove this to you, let me begin by asking you a question. Have you survived your life and managed to live through YOUR life experiences until now? This life you have “lived” has provided you with many lessons. Some fun and easy and joyful… And, some challenging, maybe difficult, or even painful but you have managed to get here! Your life stories have had episodes that other people might “shake their heads at” and wonder if they could have survived these experiences (yes, the ones YOU DID survive.) If Hollywood made a movie about the weirdest challenges you have been through, many people would think that it was pure fiction and no one could have survived these challenges. BUT, you did survive and thrive. You grew and you learned. YOU have much to share! You may have some difficulty in finding the words to speak about the losses and heart felt emotions you have known. YOU have had those moments when the “LIGHTS went ON!” And, you really “got” the meaning of the lesson that was presented. You may not give yourself enough credit for the difficult answers which you have had to learn.

Your purpose in life is to share these moments with other people, maybe family or friends or even total strangers. You will serve these fellow pilgrims by showing that you care and by sharing your stories as humans have done for thousands of years around a camp fire or while working shoulder to shoulder. Yes, you can reach out and support these fellow travelers through life who you might bump up against. Do not wait. Your purpose is to share AND tell the stories in a way where your witness knows that the lesson you have learned is NOT just your lesson but a “Universal” lesson. A lesson which we can all benefit by hearing.

You are much greater than your body and your life “seem” to be. Your soul and spirit radiate out in every direction and touch the universe. Without you and your divine self, the Divine Spirit would be missing a key piece. Though your life may seem small, even petty, actually it is a cornerstone which allows all of consciousness to exist… It is not your day to day drama which binds this universe, it is the radiant love and light that is at your core. It is the soul who has come into this life to learn the lessons and to remember your purpose and your true divinity.

As you are a reflection of the perfection of God, everyone you meet has a perfect soul somewhere within the confines of their human body. Perhaps imagine that every person you meet is worth eye contact and a smile. A “knowing smile” which says that you know and love the blessing which dwells within them. This is easier said than done when the physical, “petty” manifestation seems to “push your buttons.” Those buttons are pushed so you can learn your lesson of lessening your judgement and developing the skill of keen discernment to look deep into their soul to see the reflection of God’s greatest work… YOU are a blessing! You are a MASTER, perhaps caught in a struggle which you will learn from and over come.

You may want to consider how you can enhance your “knowing” and you may seek the support of nonjudgmental members of your spiritual tribe. Perhaps you will want to learn more and participate in, Masters of the Journey, a Transformational Community. At any rate, blessings to you on your pilgrimage through this life. Where ever possible, share your wisdom and support your fellow travelers.

Marriage: Get me to California for the Wedding

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My younger son, Mike, is getting married this month. Michel and Mike have been together for several years and they are a wonderful team. Being 30 years of age, Mike has not waited as long as I did to commit to marriage. (I was not ready until almost 34.) The commitment of marriage is not what I want to write about. It is obviously a huge commitment and should be considered very carefully by two responsible people because this decision is a “Life time” commitment, even if one or both of the members of this union chooses to leave this relationship (for whatever reason.)

A marriage creates a union forming the foundation of a family. It brings together two families. It brings together two people in one of the strongest bonds and strongest responsibilities that life can present. Though it sounds like I am speaking about commitment to marriage let me digress.

When people two people choose to marry do they “KNOW” what they are getting themselves into? Answer: No one does! Life leads down a path that may not be easily predictable. You rarely know where Life can lead and what lessons you are to learn from this experience. The beauty of living life is the weird twists and turns that create the unique and beautiful moments in life, even the most difficult challenges! The trust in your partner is almost always tested. I do not mean this in the most obvious ways of fidelity to the marriage. I mean in the times of challenge such as: parenting, illness, and even death, trusting the divine spirit and the learning that must occur. We choose to come into this life and into this set of lessons for a reason and getting along with your chosen partner creates very important chances to experience and “live” through significant challenges.

It is a blessing when two people find each other and create the bond of trust. As they walk hand in hand through life they are connected and must support their partners through all the good and difficult times. In a small way, marriage is a living example of “oneness” and the true lack of “self.” With the exchange of unconditional love, partners find themselves in each other and, possibly, a part of something much greater. A chance to love, demonstrate unconditional love, and to be part of heart driven union is one of the major lessons we are here to learn. This requires overcoming fear, self-doubt, perhaps a history of trust issues, and the willingness to be a participant in something much greater than a single individual’s life. Trusting your heart, knowing your heart, and following your intuition regarding your partnership is a huge step and engages the mind, the body, and the spirit.

Mike and Michel, I know you are loving, spiritual beings. Go and create the good in the world that your bond through marriage enables the both of you to offer.

I Love You! Your connection serves as an example of what can be most positive in life.

Blessings.

Take good care of each other and your selves.

Along the way, do what you came here to do and make the world a better place. Enjoy the lessons, even the challenges, that are a part of the process of living. Be the team I hope that you can, and will, be.

Let there be the bright and shining light of love in the world, and may you find yourself basking in the brilliance of this unconditional love from within.