On My Own Terms

Almost everyone would like some control or a lot of control over their lives. We have choices regarding many things which can come forward in our human incarnations. Sometimes things seem to happen that we could not control but chances are we had some role in choosing part or all of the circumstances we may have seemed to stumble into. If we take responsibility for our lives and our choices, we have a better chance of learning or experiencing what we came “here,” into this incarnation, to experience. This will include how we choose to transition out of this incarnation. Boy, did I just piss some people off… This is an emotional issue on many levels.

Leaving this life on my own “fully conscious” terms is a possibility and would be powerful to consider. One example, in our state, if you have a terminal diagnosis and two doctors will sign off on the situation, stating that you have less than 6 months to live, you can get medication so you have a choice to end your own life on your own terms. In my mind this is NOT an act of a coward but of courage. We are all going to pass-on and transition out of our current lives. Dying most consciously in a controlled environment, at a selected time, seems like a good option for some people. Other people have other opinions which are different from mine and they are entitled to their opinions but choices and options are good to consider and can add value to how YOU choose to live, and die.

Most people consider what the “end of life” experience will be like…??? Many people have fear regarding the “unknown” circumstances of transitioning. It is one of the most important experiences we have and full consideration is an important part of the process of living most consciously. What do YOU want to have happen? Do YOU want some measure of control or, at least, consider that you have some control? AND, if you want something to work with as a possible transition, consider reading stories or speaking with people who have had NDE’s (Near Death Experiences, like in “Life After Life” by Raymond Moody or Ken Ring’s work on research with NDE folks. There are many published stories, YouTube videos and recorded audios with people who have had NDE’s.)

More fully, not only consider how you choose to leave this life but are YOU living most fully on your terms? And, if not, why not? It is YOUR Life! These questions and considerations are more important and more difficult than how you want your morning expresso to be made. Yes, I know how important your morning coffee beverage is but these other considerations seem bigger with longer lasting effects. Living and then dying on your own terms is worthy of your time and energy. Look at all your options AND do not always take the most convenient path, the conventional thinking, or what other people want you to do. Your life is YOUR life and YOU are responsible. You must live with your choices and decisions. I have been told that the Dalia Lama is rigorous in practicing being fully conscious at death by using a 7 times daily practice of an exercise to be Present and alert as he transitions from this life. My understanding is that it is a Buddhist’s goal to be conscious and to learn the most possible in end-of-life transitioning. (Also, when interviewed about whether he would like to return again to a human incarnation, his answer was that he hopes he can come back again to continue to be of “service” which is unlike many enlightenment seekers who want to never return to incarnations and spend eternity at some “higher level”…??? Whatever that looks like…)

Most Importantly, LIVE every moment. Find the Joy and the Miracles in every moment you possibly can because you and your life are amazing and full of miraculous experiences. Every moment is precious. If you are working on being most conscious, you can celebrate the learnings which are happening in every second of your current life. This is the “Testing Grounds” for the wisdom you are learning and the Divine Wisdom (and Guidance) you are remembering and bringing into this incarnation. Your Life and Your Living is a Beacon of inspiration for the people you touch in this life. You can be a positive influence just by role-modeling being fully present and your searching for the wisdom and joy which can be found in every life experience. Yes, even in the most difficult of your life’s challenges…

Some people need to be reminded that death is not going a vacation. Though the higher realms are attractive and Divine unconditional love is wonderful to experience, however, the travels of your path through life is the real goal. This is the experience of testing out found wisdom and learning important lessons from life with the limitations of human 3 dimensional existence. The end goal of the final transition is not really what your life is about or your true goal in your current incarnation. (And, you have free will to argue with me about this, if you have read this far.) Your true purpose is to learn, to grow, and serve fellow travelers by sharing love and joy.

YOU are a Blessing. You may have more of a choice than you realize so living in vigilance and less as a victim of circumstance is a great attitude to spend time within. AND, Thank You for Being You!

Life is a Miracle! Seek the Joy in every moment you have…

Long Lives – Short lives: Food for Thought

We come into our earthly existence with the agreements to work on certain challenges for our own spiritual development or for the benefit and development of the souls we interact with. There are certain lives/Incarnations which seem to require a longer investment in Earthly time and there are other incarnations where we appear for shorter amounts of Earth time. I have read that sometimes highly evolved souls show up and volunteer to incarnate for only short Earth lives for the benefit and challenges to other souls, as when a Baby dies early in life or a teenager dies in an accident or suicide, or a younger person parishes in a war. In these cases, the families grieve the loss of their precious young member and their lesson/challenge may be in working on their grief and finding the purpose of this difficult emotional event. What can be learned from this tragedy? (And, how can we find good ways to be of service after having to live through a difficult challenge from the “loss?”)

From personal experience, my wife seemed to die too young and seemed to not deserve her fate. However, as I reflect on her premature transition from her life, I know how much I have learned, how close our relationship became from this difficult experience, and I have been able to serve other people by sharing my stories as if this tragic lesson was learned for many souls to be touched. A parent losing a child seems much more challenging than the loss of my partner and so this may be a more significant learning opportunity. Life is precious! Life is short! Life is impermanent! Whether difficult to deal with or not, it is a blessing to have short lived souls enter and leave our lives for the gifts which these experiences bestow.

The most difficult group I have ever spoken with as a stress management trainer, was a support group for parents who had children died. Infant’s premature deaths, suicides, accidents, and illness robbed these parents of a more “natural” family relationship. The pain of these parents and their guilt due to their responsibility for their offspring was palpable. Yet, the learning from these tragedies was on the front runner for all involved. Sadness and grief are major life challenges. Appreciation of lives lived is an outcome which often can take long periods to resolve. We have all lost friends and family and have had major changes in our relationships. The vacuum which these losses create offer huge potential learnings for our conscious development and possible empathy for other people who travel similar paths.

My point is that we can learn a lot whether the person we are in relationship lives a long life or is only here for a relatively brief time. There is great value in learning from lessons of the short lives or long lives. Though very difficult to achieve, we can have equanimity in difficult situations and perhaps avoid getting sucked into the drama which can accompany a person transitioning from their current life. (At least, after the shock and grief from our loss has mellowed a bit with time and, hopefully, a normal adjustment into life without our friend or loved one…)

If you are READY and looking for a supportive community where you can share your story, your wisdom, and grow spiritually in a non-religious environment, consider Masters of the Journey.
You are a Blessing! You are a Master! Your wisdom from your life experience can have great value to other pilgrims on the path toward awakening and enlightenment.

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