Tag Archives: victimhood

Forgiveness Sets Us Free

Posted on by

Why be a “Victim?” Forget Blaming and appreciate the experiences which life can bring to you! Then, consider whether you could take this awareness one step further. Challenging events happen in your life. “It” happened for a reason. Can you appreciate the learning created by the event and then Forgive the “difficult” scenario you have survived? You do not have to be a victim to your personal opinion of taking a life event as an emotional personal attack. You found YOUR way into the situation, so take some responsibility and find the best learning from a painful experience. Look for the wisdom to be gained. Share your found wisdom. And, live in a state of forgiveness if you have “enjoyed” carrying around a grudge.

Besides, it takes a huge amount of energy to hold a grudge and to live as a victim. Sure you get attention from sympathetic souls, right up until you project the secondary benefit of living as a victim and your witness decides to bail out on your drama. The emotional capital of demonstrating victimhood can only go so far and is not really sustainable for healthy relationships. (It sounds like I have NO sympathy for the hard times people experience. I do have sympathy AND there is another way to look at the difficult challenges we find ourselves within.) Our lives are filled with Joy if you choose to live in the perspective of finding the miracles from even the hardest of times. That is what we are here, in this life, to experience and to learn from. Yes, test your Divine Innate Wisdom by finding the Joy and the “Best.” When life serves you Lemons, make Lemonade…

From my personal experiences, I KNOW that this is easier said than done. But, when the Sh’t has hit the fan for me, it is very expensive in time, energy, and emotional response to continue to dwell in the anger, anxiety, and the possible negativity. In my life, I have lost sources of love to death and human transitions. The void which was created felt like an impossible hole to dig myself out of AND, with perspective, there has always been a huge lesson to test my innate wisdom. Life often comes full circle and my wisdom can be tested yet again or my new found wisdom can be shared as a service to someone in a similar situation. Example, after my wife of 28 years died from cancer, I was guided to mentor another wonderful man through the death/loss of his bride. Boy, I learned a lot from the new perspective and we both benefited from the mutual support of these difficult life experiences. (BTW: I never “blamed God” for my wife’s transition. I “knew” at some level that this was a time for “brutal” learning.) Of this loss in my life I have often said that I would NOT wish this on anyone else but I would not trade this experience away, there was so much to learn from this difficult test…

The act of Forgiveness is not easy. It requires consciousness and an open, Loving Heart which can accept the situations which to the mind/ego seem most unacceptable. You do not have to leap into painful relationships just to test this concept because your life will stumble into these relationships if you are “supposed” to have them. (You do Not deserve these difficult relationships.) You do not have a “debt to pay.” You simply have another opportunity to test your innate or learned wisdoms. Mindfulness suggests that “Equanimity” is a goal. This does not mean that you can not feel the pain but perhaps find a balance and possibly reduce an overreaction. FEEL it and find a way to know that there is a reason (not always a rational reason) why your life found its way into an awkward situation.

Perhaps, one day, you will not doubt that every rock you turn over in your incarnation was meant to be turned over even if the “darkness” and the “test” seemed most difficult. AND the result of this experience was a “positive” experience to encounter. Take responsibility for each life experience. Then, find forgiveness (and acceptance) if your knee jerk reaction tested you emotionally and spiritually. YOU are a Miracle! You are a Blessing! YOU are Loved!

Consider your life’s lessons (experiences) and possibly find forgiveness within your heart as you feel your way into the Light. AND, look for Joy in each moment you are blessed to know. (Again, easier said than done, for me, and perhaps you…) Feeling Gratitude, even for difficult situations, is an act of Spiritual and Emotional maturity. It is easier said than done. And, finding a heartfelt thank you for the learning which comes your way is important for your growth. And, then share your learned wisdom. Serve others by offering your honest perspective, hopefully, without drama… You are a Master of your Journey with much to offer… Thank You!

PS: In life, I have come across relationships and experiences that I did not fully understand and which felt, to me, that I was betrayed. On these occasions, I do not understand and felt like I did NOT Deserve this kind of treatment. Yet, after my upset, I find the “value” of this experience, even if this is labelled “What Not to Do Ever Again.” A broken heart, hurt feelings, and an emotional beat down are very unpleasant and yet, with perspective, great to learn from… I do not wish these to befall you. Often these seem unavoidable. And, it is said, “What does not kill you, makes you stronger!” At least, wiser. Yes, at the top of my gratitude and forgiveness list are some people who have confused or hurt me with their behaviors toward me and this has been a difficult “work around” when my emotional self was beaten up… YOU are Loved by the Divine Spirit and the perfect souls who show up to support you. Make every attempt to live in their love and light! Life is a Miracle even when times are difficult tests. The light of living in Forgiveness is easier said than done AND this positive attitude leads you toward a higher consciousness which is good for our Universe (and beyond.)

Man’s Search for Meaning

Posted on by

Man’s Search for Meaning
Viktor Frankl

Life’s suffering has meaning. The challenges we face are lessons to learn from and for then wisdom to blossom. How can we look at our hardships and suffering to find the benefit, if only that we have survived…?
Our potentials can change but each new experience or focus can lead us to learn and to grow. If we share our learnings, these challenging experiences have greater value and “meaning” as wisdom for others to learn from and to possibly change their lives, or their potentials.

Our suffering is reduced and more gracefully survivable if we see the value and larger purpose/lesson in our experience of the suffering. With found meaning/purpose, we have more reason to live and then to teach from our learned lessons.

Viktor Frankl was a German, Jewish psychiatrist who was sent to Auschwitz in 1944. His survival and his observations were the basis for his book “Man’s Search for Meaning” and his creation of Logotherapy which is his version of psychotherapy. A basic premise of his therapy says that finding a reason/meaning in your suffering adds positive value and some resolution to your mental/emotional challenge. He believed that human nature is motivated by the search for a life’s purpose. Frankl’s story was difficult for me to read because of the losses he suffered as his life was stripped away in the German concentration camps of World War II. As a testament to his survival, he found “meaning” in this horrible life experience. His insights have served many people.

Common human responses to life’s stressors can lead to anxiety and depression. Frankl’s work helped to search for the reason that people have emotional stresses as necessary and important lessons. Observing these “reasons” can lead to wisdom to share and a change of perception regarding these stressors. This can lead to resolution of the emotional impact these challenges can have.

Taking full responsibility for one’s life is important. Circumstances can occur which you can not fully control, however, you do control the way you respond and you can understand more fully your role in creating this experience. An example, I was riding my bicycle down a hill and as I turned right at the bottom, a pick up truck cut his corner and hit me. I broke my arm and had other injuries. Sure, the young driver cut the corner but I was flying down the hill… I learned a great deal. For me, the experience with breaking my arm, being in the ER, and staying over night in the hospital were all important lessons of value for me to have. Sure, I would NOT wish this on anyone else, but the value held great learning for me. For me, being a “victim” of circumstance was not the direction for me to go. (And, showing the photo of my surgically repaired arm has been very interesting…)

Unlike Viktor Frankl, my experience does not match surviving in a World War II German concentration camp for more than one year. My suffering physically, emotionally, and spiritually can NOT compare with Viktor Frankl’s. However, making the most of life’s tough experiences AND then the willingness to be positive as I share the wisdom learned, does have some similarity. If fully shared the story of your life and what you have learned by surviving this far, your witness would most likely wonder how you made it through the drama and adventures… We have ALL been lucky to survive our life experiences and lived to tell about these how we managed to get through our lives.

AND, in my opinion a main purpose in living is to share our stories in support for other pilgrims we meet along our way. The service of supporting and offering guidance learned from experience to fellow travelers is what we are here, in this life, to do.

YOU are a Miracle! Whether you know it consciously or not, You are a perfect soul and more powerful than you allow yourself to know or believe. Thank you for being you. I bow in Love and Delight to YOU the perfect spirit before me. Namaste!!!