What Good Comes from Tragedy? Your Perspective and Experience

Have you ever experienced a Tragedy? Of course you have. Whether a personal tragedy or one you were challenged by as a person in our culture, you have. It is common to be sad, upset, angry, frustrated, emotional, confused, or in denial AND you have been emotionally impacted. A terminal illness and death of a younger friend has triggered the memory for me of the terminal diagnosis given to my wife 15 years ago. We were confused, upset, angry because it was not fair! My wife did not deserve this diagnosis. She had so much to live for. She had lived a “healthy” lifestyle. She was a “good person” dealt a “BAD” hand… She tried everything to alter the outcome and was able to out live the prognosis by a lot however, she did not survive. This difficult challenge brought my wife and I closer together as a team. She learn to trust me in ways impossible prior to this illness. We shared experiences that no couple should have to experience. AND, we learned so much. 6 plus years since her transition from this life, I am left to reflect on what has happened to my wife and to our lives and how I can use this difficult learning.

For a moment, resist the welling emotion you are feeling. Perhaps the feeling of sadness or your fear generated upset. Though I would NOT wish this situation on anyone, or any couple, or any family, or any community of friends, I will say that this was such an important learning challenge for ALL of us that I would find it difficult to wish life had turned out different. I miss my life partner and lover of 28 years… There has been a huge void in my being but I have also known the great gift learned from this tragedy.

I am not alone in having a tragic event in my life. We have all lost friends or family members or relationships or careers or homes… We have all faced these tragedies with a range of emotions AND we have all learned from these experiences. Now realize, that from these tragedies you are a changed person AND you have to now share the knowledge or wisdom you have gained from these difficult events. You can wallow in your grief. You are entitled to a period of adjustment. You must tend to your emotional scars. BUT, you must learn, adjust, and move on into the next phase of your life. Perhaps, you will need to be a mentor or a guide to someone else who is experiencing a similar tragedy or loss. By telling your “story” you offer perspective, information, and support for the witness and YOU benefit from getting greater clarity in the act of sharing this experience. You can be a beacon of light guiding others through a dark time. Remember, we learn more from the “dark” times than we do basking in the light of happiness. This is sad but true. Your perspective and experience can be of service to the community and to the world. Consider this a value for the price you have paid by surviving and learning from your tragedy.

YOU are a Master who has been forged out of the depths difficulties to serve other pilgrims you meet along your path through life… You are a Blessing! Your Gift to the World is YOU!

Are you ready to step up and be the beacon? You can do this in a silent vigil or shouting out to the crowd. As a survivor of a tragedy, you must tell your story. Just as NDE (Near Death Experience) survivors return to re-integrate back into their bodies and their lives with the Purpose to share their experience of the overwhelming Grace from the other side of the “veil,” YOU are returned from the depths to share your story and guide others through their challenging experience.

Thank you in advance for your sharing your story. Consider, if appropriate, sharing this blog with people who are struggling with tragedy.

If you are READY and looking for a supportive community where you can share your story, your wisdom, and grow spiritually in a non-religious environment, consider Masters of the Journey.
You are a Blessing! You are a Master! Your wisdom from your life experience can have great value to other pilgrims on the path toward awakening and enlightenment.

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Learning from Loss and Tragedy

Have you ever suffered a loss? Of course, who hasn’t? Even if this loss was a “Tragedy,” was there some benefit from the lesson you had to learn?

Every human has suffered from a loss? The loss of a job. The loss of a relationship. The loss of money or property. The loss of your innocence. The loss of a loved one, a friend, a parent, a sibling, a close family member, or a child can be a difficult, if not devastating, challenge. The most difficult group I ever had to speak with was a support group for parents who had lost their child. Many in this group were suffering. Some even after many, many years after the death. A parent’s grief is especially difficult.

My reason in writing this blog comes from my own experience with loss and grief. I seemed to manage with the death of my father when I was 35 years old. My mother passed when I was almost 51. I thought I knew something about loss and grief. The greatest lesson was when my life partner, wife, and friend, Barbara, passed away from Ovarian Cancer when I was 61. I thought that I was prepared because we had 8.5 years after receiving her “terminal” diagnosis. My naivety protected me right up until the reality of the “void” set in… It took me one year before I could even began to look at the trauma this health challenge and loss of my wife had manifested within me. Some people get angry, bitter, sad, or anxious. For me, the loss of my partner of nearly 30 years was a vacuum that could not be filled.

Today, 4.5 years later, I realize the amazing blessing I have received from this valuable lesson. The blessing comes from learning much about myself, grief, and the empathy I developed from this painful personal lesson. With surprise, I have grown from the experience of this “misfortune” as I realize the new perspective on life and even the “joy” that came from the ashes of a loss.

Sheryl Sandberg speaks about her appreciation and the lessons of gratitude she learned from losing her husband, suddenly, to an unexpected cardiac incident. Her speech at the 2016 UC Berkeley Commencement was removed from youtube however, know that I was moved to tears as I listened to her story.

“When life gives you lemons, learn to make lemonade,” the old saying goes. But finding your strength and resilience from a difficult loss can provide you with one of life’s greatest challenges and benefits. Learn, accept, and share the lessons. (Remember, you learn best by sharing your story AND you can be of service as you help to create awareness in those who you offer your experience.) When you “KNOW” the value of surviving your loss, you can move on to other lessons in this life.

Life is precious. Joy and Gratitude can be derived from unexpected appreciations of even the darkest moments. Learn from your challenges and reach around to assist other pilgrims as we move along the pathway of our lives.

Blessings.

Share this blog, if appropriate. More support for your spiritual development can be found at the Masters of the Journey website: www.mastersofthejourney.com or at the Facebook page at: www.facebook.com/mastersofthejourney

By the way, if you want to explore more information regarding death and dying, consider reading the many books written regarding Near Death Experiences (NDE’s) which can shed light on the situation your departed person experiences but offers little for your personal grief created by the void generated from the loss of your “Loved” one. In doing this research, it allows me to gain spiritual insight which helps me to live more easily in a state of grace.

Please take good care of yourself!