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Tips for Getting Better Sleep

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Since 1978, I have been coaching my clients on improving their sleep. I am L. John Mason, Ph.D. and founder to the Stress Education Center. In this blog, I would to offer the best tips for getting the sleep you require and deserve.

Add any or all of these tips to your life until you find the ones that work for you.
1. Create your own bedtime ritual for preparing for sleep. Use a regular bedtime and allow as much time for sleep as you require (and we are all a bit different in this requirement.) Some clients will take a warm bath or shower to relax before heading for bed. Other people may read calming books or articles that do not stimulate too much thinking. TV news is NOT ideal before sleep for most people.
2. Avoid stimulants like caffeine. Many people find that even one cup of coffee in the morning can affect their sleep at night. Be aware of how much caffeine you use and when you consume it.
3. Limit your bed activities to sleep and sex, so you do not get into the habit of being awake in bed. (Even though TV, reading, work, and telephone calls are possible activities, these may not help your bedtime sleeping.)
4. Avoid eating big meals or drinking alcohol late in your day for these can reduce your ability to get quality sleep.
5. Create a calm, safe, dark, warm (enough,) quiet space to sleep. Avoid unnecessary stimulation.
6. If your mind is racing and filled with clutter, consider making a list or using a journal so you do need to keep all this information in your head.
7. Eat a healthy diet. (Remember to not eat too late and avoid caffeine and stimulants.)
8. Get regular exercise but not too close to bedtime.
9. Avoid using sleeping pills regularly.
10.Avoid naps, if you are having difficulty sleeping at bedtime. (Though meditations have be helpful and can take the place of some need for sleep.)
11.Consider using relaxation techniques especially ones that will aid in muscular relaxation and in slow down your mind. More in the next blog but using simple breathing techniques can be great at bedtime.
Two other online articles and resources can be found at:
7 tips for sleep from the Mayo clinic http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/sleep/HQ01387 7 is stress reduction
12 tips for sleep from Harvard medical center http://healthysleep.med.harvard.edu/healthy/getting/overcoming/tips no stress
Please take good care of yourself and get enough good quality sleep.

Prenatal Stress Management

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For the benefit of both the mother and her developing baby, please pass this information on to any pregnant women that you may know.

Being pregnant can be very stressful. It is a time of extreme change. Though a positive experience for many women, it can be impacted by the way these women deal with their stress. One of the main reasons that labor and delivery is slowed (and sometimes stopped) is the direct response to stress and anxiety. Levels of pain and anxiety can be greatly elevated during labor and delivery as a result of poorly managed stress.

I know of one woman, who was neonatal nurse, and learned that after 28 hours of her own labor that her birthing progress had stopped and her doctor had to perform a “C-section” to deliver her baby. She was very disappointed but understood that her response to stress had caused this undesired complication.

When I was in training in stress management and medical hypnosis, the pediatrician (and OB-GYN) physician who was teaching this part of my course, claimed that a “normal” labor and delivery should be a 3 hour event. He said that labor often takes much longer because women are poorly prepared for the delivery and to manage their levels of stress and anxiety. I was a bit shocked by this statement, but he had 30 years of experience and I did not.

When my wife was 39 nine, pregnant, and trusting in me, we began a program of stress management, visualization, and positive suggestions to encourage a “3 hour labor and delivery.” We went to “birth classes” and met a birthing coach to assist us with the pregnancy and delivery. She said that the stress management practice should begin as early in the pregnancy as possible. Even in the first trimester (first 3 months) was not too soon to begin. She said that the health of the developing baby would be improved by the mom’s relaxation by encouraging better blood flow with oxygen and nutrients getting to the baby more easily. It was also useful for the anxiety control of the mom. As the pregnancy moved along, we found that when my wife practiced the relaxation techniques, the unborn baby would feel her relaxation and begin to move around. For us, labor and delivery came a week earlier than the predicted due date. The contractions started around 11:30 AM and the baby was born a little past 3:00 PM about 3 and ½ hours later. He was not able to make the 3 hour time limit because he was a bit bigger than predicted at 9 lbs 4 oz. but he was very healthy and my wife seemed to recover quickly for a 39 year old mother of the big baby.

I have done follow up research since the baby was born 29 years ago, and found that with women who had had slow labor and delivery or problem births had better results in subsequent deliveries when using the relaxation techniques and visualizations to control their anxiety. After practicing relaxations these subsequent births had fewer complications, were shorter, and the birth weights of the babies were generally a bit higher. Please consider these advantages for bringing healthier babies into the world and helping their moms deliver with greater ease and grace.

Get more information about birth preparation from an experienced birthing coach. You may even get some assistance from your physician, but they are often too busy to spend the time for coaching you in preparation for your labor and delivery. It will require your time and motivation to allow this program to work best. Remember that your best results will come if you begin practice earlier in the pregnancy. Try to allow at least 8-12 weeks prior to your delivery date for the best results.

 

Please take good care of yourself.

 

L. John Mason, Ph.D. is the author of the best selling “Guide to Stress Reduction.” Since 1977, he has offered Executive Coaching and Training.Please visit the Stress Education Center’s website at www.dstress.com for articles, free ezine signup, and learn about the new telecourses that are available. If you would like information or a targeted proposal for training or coaching, please contact us at (360) 593-3833.If you are looking to promote your training or coaching career, please investigate theProfessional Stress Management Training and Certification Program for a secondary source of income or as career path. Health care professionals who work with women (and their families) prenatally, can benefit greatly by learning or developing their skills at teaching/coaching stress and anxiety management.

Leadership Begins with Listening

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Both words begin with the letter “L” but these two concepts are tied together by more. All good communication training begin with the principle that to have a good communication you must first be ready to listen and to understand what your communication partner is attempting to convey. Good leadership involves good communication and so these management techniques are linked. With good listening and good communication a good leader will not only be able to develop the most successful course toward the goal but will be able to motivate the various team members to perform their roles with the highest level performance that they have available. If there are challenges and resistance to change then a good leader will listen, understand the issues, and be able to address these difficulties to help keep the positive movement toward the end goal on target.

Executives or managers who do not really trust or respect their team will micro-manage so they will still “feel” they are in control but they will not be able to develop the strength of a high performance team. These managers will not be good leaders and it often starts with poor listening skills. Managers who are “bullies” will not have long term success. In the short term, they may get progress through intimidation but then sabotage and burnout will develop and the cost of this negative leadership will reduce cost benefits. “Bullies” by their nature are not good leaders or listeners.

Good leaders will trust their team members to come up with positive solutions and answers when challenges occur. Good leaders will share the glory, the rewards, and the recognition with key team members as the goals are reached. This creates further motivation and builds trusting relationships that will endure into future projects. A reputation of good leadership will help advance an executive’s career especially when the good results and successes of their teams continue to polish their leadership image.

Good listening requires that your self-interests, self-needs, or self-distractions are kept to a minimum which is easier said than done. Keeping an open mind as you listen will assist the process. Understanding the background experience or perspective that your team member brings will help to give you the insight you require to develop the communication into the most productive interaction that is possible.

For more information and support with your leadership skills please consider the executive coaching approach used at the Stress Education Center which is found at www.dstress.com

Proof of Heaven

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While travelling to California in March of 2013, my friend Dan gave me a new book to read. “Proof of Heaven” by Eben Alexander, MD. Great reading for me as an update on the research I had done in the late 1980’s regarding interviews with people who had experience Near Death Experiences (NDE) in the writings of Ken Ring and Raymond Moody. In his recent book, Eben Alexander tells his personal story regarding his own near death experience. With the death of my wife in January of 2012, I have been reflecting on the life after death that is discussed in many philosophies and religions. Eben speaks about the feelings of “Unconditional Love” and the message he received from his “guide” that “you can do no wrong in heaven.” What freedom you must experience!

Personally, I have strong feelings that the Buddhist philosophy of life after death may be correct. How do you feel? This way of thinking can free you to live a better life because you have less fear of the unknown, and scary thoughts of what happens after this life has completed… My father feared change and he feared death. He lived in a quiet desperation where he feared making mistakes or taking risks because he feared a possible mortal outcome of any new change.

Since the death of my wife, I was asking (maybe pleading) for information regarding her status, hoping that she was “in a better place.” I had a feeling that she was not suffering any more from her struggle with cancer but I wanted to know that she was happy, surrounded by unconditional love, with access to the wisdom of higher consciousness. In my travels after exposure to Eben ALexander’s book, I had experiences that lead me to believe that I did NOT have to worry, for my wife, Barbara, WAS in a better place. It gives me some peace of mind and my heart feels better.

My question, which has no answer, is who will greet me and guide me when my turn to pass comes??? In the writings of NDE’s and even in Eben Alexander’s book, “Proof of Heaven,” it is often stated that a guide (or guides) step forward to greet you and to show you around (for lack of a better phrase) and to assist you with the awkward transition into this new existence. Often, the guide will be someone familiar who you loved or knew who has passed on before you… So recently I pondered who this entity might be for me…??? My mom or dad, friends from the past, or family??? I realize that this is not the most important consideration I have to deal with in my present life, but the question came to mind. Who do you think will be there to greet you when your time to pass on occurs? In Eben’s story, he asked this question and did not receive the answer that he expected which was both surprising and, for me, a highlight of his book.

Most importantly to me as I write this blog is to ask you what awareness do you have regarding the process that happens at the end of life AND will this belief give you assistance in living your life more fully and with less fear. In my second book, “Stress Passages: Surviving Life’s Transitions Gracefully,” I tried to address the anxiety that people have as they face their mortality (death and dying) and I offered strategies for managing this anxiety so that life can be experienced with greater peace and less distraction from the fear of the unknown. I want to write more about this in the coming months.

Please live with grace and awareness.

If you have questions that you believe that I can assist you to better understand that death and dying are not as scary as our fear and anxiety creates of the unknown, contact me through the Stress Education Center at www.dstress.com. AND, please take good care of yourself. 

“Finding Your Tone” – A Path to Empowerment

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Have you ever felt so strongly about an experience or a process of self-discovery that you know that you will never be same and the new knowledge feels like you are on a path toward “enlightenment?” You can feel it in your “gut” when the insight is “right.” 

In a similar way, have you ever “connected” with another person or a group so strongly that you can feel the power of acceptance and support which allows you to find deeper insights? If you “resonate” with an experience so you can evoke “deep” memories and emotions, you bask in a feeling of celebration of that moment of awakening. If significant enough, it becomes a new memory that you will never forget. As an example, in my early twenties I had several powerful meditation insights that I can recall as if they had just happened. One was a visualization that came to me in meditation that I was sitting with my back to a tree on the bank of the “river of life.” In my visualization, the river flowed from my right to left in its slow progression through life. The waters were golden in color made up of individual golden molecules of water that each represented a separate lifeform. I visualized myself as single molecule of water drifting with the current. As the river moved down from the mountains it pushed toward the golden ocean where the molecules could evaporate and the life reborn to start again as the rain that falls high in the mountains and begins the voyage back down the river of life. The most important insight for me has been that I am connected with all other living things as we flow down the river of life.Connected and not alone. This experience and insight is felt deep to my core. I can feel the connection with all other living things. Perhaps you have experienced a similiar feeling of connection and the empowerment that this allows.

You may resonate with this insight. You may feel the deep vibration that offers a feeling of connection with others in a similiar way. I challenge you to find the trigger for an experience that allows you to feel “your tone” as a way of remembering the insights and connections that you have experienced through the process of your path toward enlightenment. You may want to do your work alone in meditation or in a supportive group process or with a mentor or coach. No matter how you move toward self-discovery, you will benefit from sharing these insights with supportive people. The process of “sharing” adds perspective and deeper insights which can enhance the learning. I have had the experience of nearly ignoring the importance of a new insight until I shared the discovery with a supportive group and this sharing created an excitement from other members of group which caused me to feel the larger significance of the insight I had taken too lightly. That insight was about unconditional love and higher consciousness, and I celebrate the experience these 40 years later.

 

I believe that from past personal and professional experiences I have created a process worth experiencing. At some point, you may want to come along on a residential retreat process that can offer a way toward greater insight, self-discovery, and offers tools for increasing your consciousness. The working title for this process is “Finding Your Tone” because at the end of this experiencial process you take an instrument with you that reflects the specific sound (or vibration) that will allow you to resonate with the deepest discoveries that you achieve during this retreat experience. You will leave with a chime that connects you with insights that you experience. If you wish to learn more about this process or desire participation in this process, please contact the Stress Education Center at (www.dstress.com) or email us at wellness@dstress.com and ask to be placed on the list to receive the schedule of these 7 day residential retreats. If you can not wait for the group process, individual coaching is available. These professional services do have a charge due to the costs of materials & services as well as the time that is necessary to tailor this program to your specific requirements.

 

Please send comments and any insights that you have discovered in your quest for spiritual or emotional development.

Common Sense, Where Has it Gone?

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Posted by L. John Mason – 

Darwin was a noted biologist who told us about the “survival of the fittest” and how certain genetic strains were improving the “gene pool” allowing less desirable traits or flaws to “die out.” This is why in courtship in the animal world the biggest or the best prevail and are allowed to have more offspring that will keep the species going with the biggest, best genetic traits of the offspring to continue the “linage.” In humans, the most handsome or beautiful have an easier time connecting with possible mates, but this does not always work out well. The richest and most successful are thought to have it easier to find mate, or have mates finding them, but this does not always seem to work out, though pre-nuptial agreements give some people a false sense of security.

 

The truly disturbing thing that seems to be occurring is that “natural selection” may not be working as well for humans as it worked for lower life-forms. Often unhealthy people have more offspring than healthy people. With current medical successes, people who should die in infancy survive to add weaknesses to the gene pool. Medical practices fight to keep people alive who should not pass their genetic material along to future generations. People who are relatively unsuccessful as parents seem to have more children and release poorly emotionally equipped young people on our society.

 

We have to meet certain basic conditions to be allowed to drive cars in our society. We must be a certain age, take driver’s education training, be able to pay for licensing fees, and pass a written test and demonstrate basic competence behind the wheel to receive our license to drive on the roads. It is true that people who do not have drivers licenses or auto insurance are out there driving, but the legal system attempts to prevent inappropriate drivers from getting behind the wheel. Why? Because it is UNSAFE TO LET IDIOTS DRIVE! There is no testing for basic competence or proof of ability to pay when we allow immature people to have babies. There are no rules that suggest that people who have expensive health conditions or unstable emotional wellbeing should be supervised or refused in the process of breeding.

 

More disturbing, basic common sense is being bred out of the gene pool. Impulsive people are allowed to live and then they go out and make many mistakes by having too many offspring who will grow up with little or no common sense. Though unlikely that these people will find their way to the ballot box, these people will be given the right to vote for our country’s leaders and will be more easily manipulated by the bully pulpit of media and unethical political preachers lacking the ability to think and problem solve the issues for themselves. We even have had presidents elected because they would be fun to “drink a beer with” rather than smart enough to lead the greatest super-power. By the way, these same, fun to have a drink with, presidents have helped to drive the greatness out of our country, making us a less powerful positive influence. Greed influenced these incompetent politicians into selling out our moral and ethical code which once was appropriate and accepted as a positive role model for the world. No wonder people of the world do not trust us or follow our leadership. The world has gotten too small to not notice when we do not have competent leaders with little COMMON SENSE running our government.

 

I do not claim to have all the answers to the problems created by the lack of common sense and the lack of strong moral fiber in our leaders and in our populace but I have noticed that the world we live in is more fragile than ever before and clumsy, selfish, and stupid (under-educated) people should not be making decisions that affect us as a nation. I resent the impact of people without common sense having too many offspring that cost all of the rest of us. I resent that we have our schools educating for the lowest common denominator and boring our intelligent and creative children. I resent driving on the highways with people too stupid to know that they should concentrate on their driving instead of making telephone calls or “texting.” We should have more common sense. Why do we need to pass laws about distracted driving when idiots should not be behind the wheel in the first place?

 

The world has population challenges and does not need the poorest genetic strains to have the most children because there is no restraint, impulse control, or common sense in the breeding parents. If we do not solve this problem, nature will find its own way through disease, famine, or war to cull the population and I do not want these negative options for our future generations…

Leadership Tips

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Increase Productivity by Making Your People “Fall in Love With Your Organization”

Leading an organization towards success can not be achieved without “buy in” and devoted work by your key personnel. Whether you are leading a small business or a major corporation, it has become imperative for leadership from the management team that “engages” your employees and creates an ideal work environment so your personnel will fall in love with your organization and its goals and objectives.

The following list has been compiled by interviews with Executives and Human Resource Managers from many West Coast companies. These “best practices” for engaging employee loyalty can be adopted and have been proven to increase productivity and to reduce conscious or unconscious sabotage by personnel. With challenges from transitions and the pace of doing business in the Information Age, it has become essential to know, and then apply, these principles for all executives and successful managers. These techniques have also been proven to enhance employee retention and to make organizations more attractive when hiring.

Consider adopting one or more of the following suggestions to make your workplace more attractive and to better help your workforce “Fall in Love” with your organization. Most of these suggestions can be offered inexpensively or at no cost. Remember that a key to your success is to treat your employees like you treat your most valuable clients. (It is cheaper to keep your good employees than it is to hire and train new ones. Your top 20-25% (key personnel) should be courted as you would court and then service your top customers.)

1. Employee input with key decisions-part of process from start

 

2. Growth Opportunities- training, mentoring, developing- Room to Grow… Job Rotations (keep jobs more interesting and expand your people’s skills and experience)

 

3. Get the “Right” people in the right job by benchmarking the qualities necessary to succeed in a specific job. Know these Key Personnel well and understand their true motivations which are not always money, and then give these key people what they really want as rewards for their work and loyalty. (Assessments are available for this process of benchmarking and job analysis. Costly hiring mistakes are expensive and avoidable.)

 

4. Regular Communication meetings with management… transparency (clear vision) Leaders sell the vision so personnel know their role… Create “Buy-in”

 

5. Follow through with vision/purpose (consistent and with integrity)

 

6. Work/Life Flexibility- Flextime, teleworking, 4/10’s

 

7. Good Management Team promoting good relations. Managers spend 10 minutes each week with each person supervised (helps to connect,) learn employees job function and come help when necessary.

 

8. Meaningful Rewards/Recognition – Feedback, public praise, $ bonus’, “thank you Bucks”, peer recognition, press releases

 

9. Enjoyable Work Environment- Fun!

 

10. Trust Managers, peers, etc…

 

11. Community Involvement Projects suggested by work force and commitment to these projects with support. “Global” perspective for the “greater good”.

 

12. Best Benefit Package affordable (can be $$$ but worthy of consideration)

 

Though these principles are fairly simple in concept they may require some work to adapt them to your work place or even to get them to be embraced by your leadership/management team. Coaching and training are available to you if you would like assistance in tailoring these suggestions for your specific requirements.

 

L. John Mason, Ph.D. is the author of the best selling “Guide to Stress Reduction.” Since 1977, he has offered Success & Executive Coaching and Training.Please visit the Stress Education Center. If you would like information or a targeted proposal for training or coaching, please contact us at (360) 593-3833. www.dstress.com

If you are looking to enhance your leadership skills, please investigate the Executive Coaching Program for the support you may require to become the very best executive or manager.

 

Twelve Steps to Promote You and Your Business: Case Study

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Do you own your own business? Do you offer a product or service that you wish to promote? Do you love your business and want to see it expanding? Are you creative and tenacious? Any or all of these may define you or may highlight an area that is a challenge for your business success. This article will offer, through a case study, some useful techniques that will assist you in promoting your product or service.

I assume that you have a GOOD product or service, or, at least, a very good idea for a business. No matter how good your product or service is, if people do not know about you, you will not be able to sell your product or service at the highest levels. Since each product/service is different and each market (or community) is unique, you must be creative in interpreting these basic concepts so they apply most appropriately to your specific situation.

The example that I will be using may be a stretch to fit for your business, but when you see the creative ideas that we came up with in coaching this business, you will see how these concepts may be worth trying for your business. This is for a brand new business in the Los Angeles area. The business is a new Rock Band. Obviously the competition is high and average returns are generally low. So how can you use these promotional principles to achieve a greater than average level of success?

Let’s assume that this band is musically good and plays a style of music that people have enjoy. Not all musical experiences are good or enjoyable. This band is talented and creative enough to create their first album/CD and is ready to take it to the next level. No one knows about this band or their music, but there are few venues/clubs that hear their music from the website or CD and are willing to let them play in front of their clients (an audience.)

It is obvious that the band must rehearse their music and create a decent show but how do you promote the band and fill the seats. You need people in the seats to get paid by the club owners and through sales of your CD’s. Eventually, when the band is successful, people will know about them, pay money to come to their shows and buy CD and band related merchandise. Most bands have young people who are focused on their music, not promotion and not the business of getting people to come into the club or venue and pay money for this experience. In fact, most bands are filled with dreamers who can appear to be lazy when it comes to doing “the business.” Dreamers want the audience to magically appear and then adore the band and buy stuff… This is a problem for most businesses. Selling the product or service is a necessary, but often a disliked part of “the business.”

The band was coached on what they might do and their coach held them accountable to go out and do these activities… (Even if we know what to do, we often need help with the accountability of following through on the promotional activities.) Here is the beginning list of necessary promotional activities:
1. Gather names and e-mail addresses for fans and people to invite to the shows. Have an e-mail sign-up list at EVERY event.
2. Get the venues/clubs to help promote shows through their e-mail lists AND ask the club for contact information for any media (TV, radio stations, newsletter, entertainment magazines/newsletters) they advertise with AND a list of many major businesses or organizations within a few miles of their club.
3. Get a list of any internet music promotion websites. Assign someone to contact and update these websites on a regular basis, with enough advanced time.
4. Create a press release and media kit for distribution to entertainment media like TV, radio stations, newspapers, magazines, etc. Be ready to go when you have found the person in the media organization to send these to.
5. Get a list of local colleges in the area of the music venues that might attract fans through college newspapers, college radio stations, or announcements/fliers (OFFER discounts on CD sales when they come to performance and announce that they have heard of their local promotion… Get their e-mails for future promotions…) Offer to play shows, for a discounted rate, for their students to create fans and future conversions to fans/clients.
6. Contact other local bands that may have success in the venue/club and offer to CROSS-Promote by using each other e-mail lists to cross-promote events. (Sign up for the other bands e-mail list to make sure they follow through and send out promotions for your band… and do not forget to send their band info to your e-mail list…) The more successful bands will have large lists. Both bands can win by getting more visibility and may convert fans.
7. Keep your website current with show information and any promotional events. Many businesses are lazy about keeping current but this can be important for communication with your customers/fans.
8. Contact the network of media that the club/venue has provided to promote your event… Allow as much time as possible, 4-6 weeks in advance. Do Not Be Lazy! Send them: media kit, cover letter, press release, and sample of music/CD. FOLLOW UP with telephone call. Do not assume that they will see your stuff and open it and read it. Taking time to find the “right” person in this media outlet can be very important, Do not be lazy… Give them a GOOD REASON to promote your event… The band that I was coaching was donating money from the sales of their CD’s to the Cancer Society and were volunteering to provide music at local cancer fundraising events like the “Relay for Life” fundraisers. Give something back to the community! Also, be timely with current news events, locally or globally, if your product or service can be adapted as a newsworthy item for the media.
9. Contact the local businesses that are in the area of the venue. Speak to the personnel office and offer an employee incentive discount for CD’s sold at the venue. ALSO, ask if the business ever requires entertainment at their employees rallies/picnics, awards programs, or their promotional events. Offer these business a discount for paid business as a “get to know you” networking trade. Promote the local club/venue so that it is a win-win situation for the club’s future cooperation. (The higher up in management you can network at the business, the better the chance of future professional business relationships.) By helping them with their personnel, you can build a relationship with this business that leads to future business relationships. Consider promoting to local service clubs where you can network with other businesses and organizations. Be creative in networking and ask their help with additional networking referrals. Service clubs need entertain or speakers and may be consider sources of clients.
10. At the events, announce future shows, any new merchandise, and consider announcing the donations to a local or large non-profit organization from sale of CD’s or in a donation jar (and send donations to the non-profit…)
11. Offer to volunteer at fundraisers and invite your fans/clients to participate in the good cause, plus get exposure to new fans/clients and promote these events in local media.
12. Contact radio stations for “Playtime” by sending media kit and sample music to the “right people” at the radio stations. Offer to do interviews or play at any fundraisers they are involved with. Always invite radio people to your fundraising events to keep them informed regarding your good work in the community. Always let these people know about new products or major shows that you are offering, to stay in front of their consciousness and to maintain a good relationship.
13. (yes, 13) Join a network which will market your product or service to motivated buyers. Motivation can be created by special rebates, bonuses, or added benefits. (There are networks that do this and if you need examples, just contact us…)

This case study is a current project. So far, the clubs/venues love it and are looking at the band as “professional.” The media likes it and are opening the doors for music radio playtime. The Non-profits love the donations and are getting the band booked for fundraisers and so more community exposure events. The businesses love to offer their employees discount incentives that are entertaining and stress reducing. And by the way, there are more people attending their shows and becoming fans…

Now these promotional principles may need some translation for your business. Be creative. Most of these activities are low cost or no cost. (You can always send lots of money to advertise but you can build better relationships with these low cost activities.) Do not be lazy. If you are struggling with creative ways of applying these promotional ideas, you can get mentoring or coaching that can help translate these activities to fit your business.

Please take good care of yourself.

 

L. John Mason, Ph.D. is the author of the best selling “Guide to Stress Reduction.” Since 1977, he has offered Success & Executive Coaching and Training. He has offered sales coaching to small and mid-size businesses since 1982.Please visit the Stress Education Center’s website at Stress, Stress Management, Coaching, and Training for articles, free ezine signup, and learn about the new telecourses that are available. If you would like information or a targeted proposal for training or coaching, please contact us at (360) 593-3833.

 

Having Emotional Balance at Work

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In many companies, the work culture includes many difficult requirements. Long hours, intense competition, conflicts, changing priorities and trying changes which create the need to adapt. If you do not have “Emotional Balance” you run the risk of burning out or getting into other physical or emotional difficulties. “Being Centered” or balanced are concepts that are easier said than done. Most of us do not even know what emotional balance is, what it feels like, or realize that it is an ever changing situation that we have to continuously pay attention to and change with. The pulls from “internal” company needs and “external” (outside work) expectations can feel insurmountable. Each of us are different and the way we respond to the various sources of pressures will also be unique. To beat being a victim to these pressures we must:

1. Understand specifically how you respond in your own individual and unique habitual way. By knowing this you can find the systems that hold this habitual response and learn to minimize, if not eliminate, the negative manisfestations of the pressure.

2. Learn what Balance feels like so you can determine if you are off-balance. It is difficult to learn to relax into a “balance state” but it is worth it for most people because it feels good and saves so much time and energy.

3. Find the 8 essential areas of your life and learn to honor the ones that you do not make time for in your life. This will help to re-prioritize your life and give you greater balance as you pursue your long term goals and aspirations. The 8 essential life areas include: career, finance, family, friends/relationships, education/life long learning, health, creativity/aesthetic, and honoring the spirit. If you do not have a plan for honoring each of these 8 areas then you may not have balance and may have to fight to sustain emotional and physical health and well-being.

4. Finally, you must take (or make) time for yourself. Often, by taking time to regain balance you find that you SAVE TIME and ENERGY. Many people forget this principle until a major negative manifestation takes place. The body will get your attention in rude ways if you do not honor your commitment to self-care and maintaining balance. No time, is the excuse most often heard and people hide behind this idea.

Finding your balance and re-prioritizing your life goals is not an easy task and often can not be done effectively without external counsel, coaching, or mentoring. It is worth your investment of time, energy, and resources if you want to be most productive and have the best quality of life. If for no other reason, you may want to be a positive role model for the important people around you.

There are many principles taken from Sports Psychology that can help executive leaders to find their balance and to get the pressures and competitive forces to have minimal impact on their performance. These same principles help “world class” athletes move ahead of their competition. Just attend to the upcoming Olympics competition to find that more than 60% of the athletes training involves the “mental side” which helps to create balance for the winners. The mental side of training trims away the unnecessary distracts that rob the athlete of energy or the flexibility needed to win.

Emotional Balance reduces distractions that can lead to team turn-over, increased replacement costs, health cost containment, better communication and leadership, increased productivity and enhanced performance, and increased bottom-line in sales, services, and productivity.

If you find that you would benefit from coaching support, considering contacting the Stress Education Center at www.dstress.com or call 360-593-3833

Unconditional Love

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Everyone benefits from loving or by being loved. It is human nature to want to “connect” with other people and the exchange of energy, for some people LOVE, is the very best part of the connection. Not everyone admits to needing or wanting love, but people who do claim to not need love are often in denial, for their own reasons.

Pets need love. Most people enjoy their pets because of the exchange of love and devotion that can come from this bond. Babies need love to thrive and survive. Babies need food, water, and a reasonably warm physical environment, but babies will not thrive without human contact and the exchange of a “loving energy.” If you do not believe me, read the studies of children raised in Eastern European orphanages where deprived babies lack physical, mental, and emotional development when raised without quality human contact. My point is that 99% of us require human bonding to thrive and part of this connection is labeled as love.

Getting the love that we need has been one of the complicated human dilemmas. People often strive for love and often can be disappointed, or worse. Timing is everything when it comes to connecting with other people for love. In most families a certain amount of love is exchanged because people connect more easily with other people whom they share genetic material. Parents usually love their own children, in part due the bond of sharing genetic material. But even in this relationship, if the timing is not correct, the bond of familial love can be weak or possibly non-existent. A challenge can exist if you look for, or expect, “unconditional love.”

By definition, “unconditional love” is given unconditionally. This often means, with no strings attached or no expectation connected to the sharing of this loving energy. “Pure Love” can be defined as unconditional. When a mother bonds with her new baby, a hormonal and genetic driven instinct can take over where the mother feels very strongly connected with her young offspring. Not every mother feels this way because, stress, survival, drugs or medications may interfere with this bond. When a mother is too stressed and possibly concerned with her own survival, this distraction can overcome the “chemistry” of maternal bonding. Fathers can also develop a loving connection and bonding with their offspring but this may be more challenging than simple maternal chemistry.

Beyond parental connection, there are a few other opportunities for connecting and developing unconditional love. Children raised with other siblings or people other than parents can develop attachments especially when mutual needs are met by these relationships. There are even times when close friends and “significant others” (life partners) can develop a chemistry that can include forms of unconditional love.

By my definition, “Unconditional Love” is pure connection and the sharing of energy that is given with NO EXPECTATIONs of any return. Thus unconditionally shared. To bask in the light and warmth of unconditional love is healing, nurturing, empowering, and enlightening. For many of us, it seems to be a rare and special experience. For some lucky ones of us, it is not so rare. I believe that most of us are born with an innate knowledge of what unconditional love and pure higher consciousness really is. We know it and can celebrate it when we can stumble upon it, unless we are in a “survival” moment. It is my belief that we can search for this pure form of love and energy, and we can occasionally find it. For me, such a time came when I was in a meditation near sunset and I experienced myself as a molecule of water surrounded by all other living things who were also represented as a molecule of water in a golden river of “life.” I felt the overwhelming feeling of connection and pure acceptance. (As if all other living things could resonate with the same vibration as we shared the movement along the “river of Life.”) This is not a common or even daily experience for me, but it is a feeling and memory that I will never forget. I have also seen this described by people interviewed after having a near death experience (NDE.) Perhaps, this is what “heaven” is like…

My wish is that every conscious living entity will be able to experience this brief, and lasting, feeling of celebrating in a state nirvana and know what is like to be free from fear and hate. Seek and celebrate any interlude you may have with Unconditional Love. Share this when you can… Peace!

Comments? www.dstress.com (wellness@dstress.com) or call 360-593-3833