Category Archives: Personal Ranting

Expectations Screw Things Up

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Having expectations of other people’s performance can often lead to disappointment. Even a “sure thing,” when it comes true, can be a bit disappointing because you expected the outcome. Controlling your expectations is easier said than done, but worth the effort. I know people who celebrate their birthdays by basking in their unfulfilled expectations of what they anticipated from the people around themselves. The drama includes every manor of disappointment. Sometimes they did not get a card, or call, or present, or big enough present, or a large enough party, or…. the list can be endless…

Since we can not control what other people do, we can open ourselves for shattered expectations if we expect an outcome and the other person does not do what we might expect.

Have you ever had your expectation met and feel that it was not as satisfying as it could have been because you felt that you knew (or expected) the outcome? This turns a positive into a slightly negative experience. There may be times that you can recall when you did not expect an outcome and feel surprised and pleased by even a simple gesture, like getting flowers delivered “out of the blue.” Many people get disappointed when they travel or attend a performance where they knew exactly what was to be seen/heard and this experience did not surpass their expectations.

The interactions with people are the most difficult when you have expectations. For example, you thought you did well at the interview (or client meeting) and you find out you did not get the job (or order) that you expected you’d get. When you expect a certain recognition and it does not manifest in as grand a way as you would have liked, it often takes away from the celebration.

Expectations that are not met are stressful. We already have enough external stressors so why do we need more internally driven stressors? The lack of control over the actions, or inactions, of others is a traditionally strong stressor. Learning to control your expectations is not easy, however, breaking away from self-victimizing yourself can be a very important skill to develop. Also, appreciation of love and life is generally easier, and healthier, when expectations are not planted. Please consider living in the moment, without memories of the past or fears of the unknown future. Celebrate every moment of life for the experience you are receiving, even the difficult lessons we must bump up against. Visualize success in your activities but minimize your expectations… A difficult balancing act to achieve.

Proof of Heaven

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While travelling to California in March of 2013, my friend Dan gave me a new book to read. “Proof of Heaven” by Eben Alexander, MD. Great reading for me as an update on the research I had done in the late 1980’s regarding interviews with people who had experience Near Death Experiences (NDE) in the writings of Ken Ring and Raymond Moody. In his recent book, Eben Alexander tells his personal story regarding his own near death experience. With the death of my wife in January of 2012, I have been reflecting on the life after death that is discussed in many philosophies and religions. Eben speaks about the feelings of “Unconditional Love” and the message he received from his “guide” that “you can do no wrong in heaven.” What freedom you must experience!

Personally, I have strong feelings that the Buddhist philosophy of life after death may be correct. How do you feel? This way of thinking can free you to live a better life because you have less fear of the unknown, and scary thoughts of what happens after this life has completed… My father feared change and he feared death. He lived in a quiet desperation where he feared making mistakes or taking risks because he feared a possible mortal outcome of any new change.

Since the death of my wife, I was asking (maybe pleading) for information regarding her status, hoping that she was “in a better place.” I had a feeling that she was not suffering any more from her struggle with cancer but I wanted to know that she was happy, surrounded by unconditional love, with access to the wisdom of higher consciousness. In my travels after exposure to Eben ALexander’s book, I had experiences that lead me to believe that I did NOT have to worry, for my wife, Barbara, WAS in a better place. It gives me some peace of mind and my heart feels better.

My question, which has no answer, is who will greet me and guide me when my turn to pass comes??? In the writings of NDE’s and even in Eben Alexander’s book, “Proof of Heaven,” it is often stated that a guide (or guides) step forward to greet you and to show you around (for lack of a better phrase) and to assist you with the awkward transition into this new existence. Often, the guide will be someone familiar who you loved or knew who has passed on before you… So recently I pondered who this entity might be for me…??? My mom or dad, friends from the past, or family??? I realize that this is not the most important consideration I have to deal with in my present life, but the question came to mind. Who do you think will be there to greet you when your time to pass on occurs? In Eben’s story, he asked this question and did not receive the answer that he expected which was both surprising and, for me, a highlight of his book.

Most importantly to me as I write this blog is to ask you what awareness do you have regarding the process that happens at the end of life AND will this belief give you assistance in living your life more fully and with less fear. In my second book, “Stress Passages: Surviving Life’s Transitions Gracefully,” I tried to address the anxiety that people have as they face their mortality (death and dying) and I offered strategies for managing this anxiety so that life can be experienced with greater peace and less distraction from the fear of the unknown. I want to write more about this in the coming months.

Please live with grace and awareness.

If you have questions that you believe that I can assist you to better understand that death and dying are not as scary as our fear and anxiety creates of the unknown, contact me through the Stress Education Center at www.dstress.com. AND, please take good care of yourself. 

Common Sense, Where Has it Gone?

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Posted by L. John Mason – 

Darwin was a noted biologist who told us about the “survival of the fittest” and how certain genetic strains were improving the “gene pool” allowing less desirable traits or flaws to “die out.” This is why in courtship in the animal world the biggest or the best prevail and are allowed to have more offspring that will keep the species going with the biggest, best genetic traits of the offspring to continue the “linage.” In humans, the most handsome or beautiful have an easier time connecting with possible mates, but this does not always work out well. The richest and most successful are thought to have it easier to find mate, or have mates finding them, but this does not always seem to work out, though pre-nuptial agreements give some people a false sense of security.

 

The truly disturbing thing that seems to be occurring is that “natural selection” may not be working as well for humans as it worked for lower life-forms. Often unhealthy people have more offspring than healthy people. With current medical successes, people who should die in infancy survive to add weaknesses to the gene pool. Medical practices fight to keep people alive who should not pass their genetic material along to future generations. People who are relatively unsuccessful as parents seem to have more children and release poorly emotionally equipped young people on our society.

 

We have to meet certain basic conditions to be allowed to drive cars in our society. We must be a certain age, take driver’s education training, be able to pay for licensing fees, and pass a written test and demonstrate basic competence behind the wheel to receive our license to drive on the roads. It is true that people who do not have drivers licenses or auto insurance are out there driving, but the legal system attempts to prevent inappropriate drivers from getting behind the wheel. Why? Because it is UNSAFE TO LET IDIOTS DRIVE! There is no testing for basic competence or proof of ability to pay when we allow immature people to have babies. There are no rules that suggest that people who have expensive health conditions or unstable emotional wellbeing should be supervised or refused in the process of breeding.

 

More disturbing, basic common sense is being bred out of the gene pool. Impulsive people are allowed to live and then they go out and make many mistakes by having too many offspring who will grow up with little or no common sense. Though unlikely that these people will find their way to the ballot box, these people will be given the right to vote for our country’s leaders and will be more easily manipulated by the bully pulpit of media and unethical political preachers lacking the ability to think and problem solve the issues for themselves. We even have had presidents elected because they would be fun to “drink a beer with” rather than smart enough to lead the greatest super-power. By the way, these same, fun to have a drink with, presidents have helped to drive the greatness out of our country, making us a less powerful positive influence. Greed influenced these incompetent politicians into selling out our moral and ethical code which once was appropriate and accepted as a positive role model for the world. No wonder people of the world do not trust us or follow our leadership. The world has gotten too small to not notice when we do not have competent leaders with little COMMON SENSE running our government.

 

I do not claim to have all the answers to the problems created by the lack of common sense and the lack of strong moral fiber in our leaders and in our populace but I have noticed that the world we live in is more fragile than ever before and clumsy, selfish, and stupid (under-educated) people should not be making decisions that affect us as a nation. I resent the impact of people without common sense having too many offspring that cost all of the rest of us. I resent that we have our schools educating for the lowest common denominator and boring our intelligent and creative children. I resent driving on the highways with people too stupid to know that they should concentrate on their driving instead of making telephone calls or “texting.” We should have more common sense. Why do we need to pass laws about distracted driving when idiots should not be behind the wheel in the first place?

 

The world has population challenges and does not need the poorest genetic strains to have the most children because there is no restraint, impulse control, or common sense in the breeding parents. If we do not solve this problem, nature will find its own way through disease, famine, or war to cull the population and I do not want these negative options for our future generations…

Unconditional Love

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Everyone benefits from loving or by being loved. It is human nature to want to “connect” with other people and the exchange of energy, for some people LOVE, is the very best part of the connection. Not everyone admits to needing or wanting love, but people who do claim to not need love are often in denial, for their own reasons.

Pets need love. Most people enjoy their pets because of the exchange of love and devotion that can come from this bond. Babies need love to thrive and survive. Babies need food, water, and a reasonably warm physical environment, but babies will not thrive without human contact and the exchange of a “loving energy.” If you do not believe me, read the studies of children raised in Eastern European orphanages where deprived babies lack physical, mental, and emotional development when raised without quality human contact. My point is that 99% of us require human bonding to thrive and part of this connection is labeled as love.

Getting the love that we need has been one of the complicated human dilemmas. People often strive for love and often can be disappointed, or worse. Timing is everything when it comes to connecting with other people for love. In most families a certain amount of love is exchanged because people connect more easily with other people whom they share genetic material. Parents usually love their own children, in part due the bond of sharing genetic material. But even in this relationship, if the timing is not correct, the bond of familial love can be weak or possibly non-existent. A challenge can exist if you look for, or expect, “unconditional love.”

By definition, “unconditional love” is given unconditionally. This often means, with no strings attached or no expectation connected to the sharing of this loving energy. “Pure Love” can be defined as unconditional. When a mother bonds with her new baby, a hormonal and genetic driven instinct can take over where the mother feels very strongly connected with her young offspring. Not every mother feels this way because, stress, survival, drugs or medications may interfere with this bond. When a mother is too stressed and possibly concerned with her own survival, this distraction can overcome the “chemistry” of maternal bonding. Fathers can also develop a loving connection and bonding with their offspring but this may be more challenging than simple maternal chemistry.

Beyond parental connection, there are a few other opportunities for connecting and developing unconditional love. Children raised with other siblings or people other than parents can develop attachments especially when mutual needs are met by these relationships. There are even times when close friends and “significant others” (life partners) can develop a chemistry that can include forms of unconditional love.

By my definition, “Unconditional Love” is pure connection and the sharing of energy that is given with NO EXPECTATIONs of any return. Thus unconditionally shared. To bask in the light and warmth of unconditional love is healing, nurturing, empowering, and enlightening. For many of us, it seems to be a rare and special experience. For some lucky ones of us, it is not so rare. I believe that most of us are born with an innate knowledge of what unconditional love and pure higher consciousness really is. We know it and can celebrate it when we can stumble upon it, unless we are in a “survival” moment. It is my belief that we can search for this pure form of love and energy, and we can occasionally find it. For me, such a time came when I was in a meditation near sunset and I experienced myself as a molecule of water surrounded by all other living things who were also represented as a molecule of water in a golden river of “life.” I felt the overwhelming feeling of connection and pure acceptance. (As if all other living things could resonate with the same vibration as we shared the movement along the “river of Life.”) This is not a common or even daily experience for me, but it is a feeling and memory that I will never forget. I have also seen this described by people interviewed after having a near death experience (NDE.) Perhaps, this is what “heaven” is like…

My wish is that every conscious living entity will be able to experience this brief, and lasting, feeling of celebrating in a state nirvana and know what is like to be free from fear and hate. Seek and celebrate any interlude you may have with Unconditional Love. Share this when you can… Peace!

Comments? www.dstress.com (wellness@dstress.com) or call 360-593-3833

It’s Springtime, Baseball is Back!

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In the U.S., the “boys of Summer” refers to the people who engage in the Spring-Summer-Fall activity of watching or playing baseball, “the national pastime.” They are NOT all boys… The frustration and love for your favorite team always begin with HOPE. We hope that OUR team will play well, win games, and “make the playoffs.” Some cities/teams have long histories of success, like the New York Yankees, and some cities seem doomed to frustration and disappointment like Chicago. BUT, at the beginning of the “season” there is always the chance that the players and the managers and the owners will do their jobs and the team will win and the glory will be shared by all the fans.

 

I love baseball. I love watching baseball. I loved playing baseball. I loved my son taking up the sport and watching him play baseball. To many people, baseball is boring and too slow to watch. One of my favorite childhood memories was sitting with my father on a Sunday afternoon and watching a baseball game on television while he explained to me what was happening and what was going to happen. Playing “catch” with my father was a tradition whose memory still brings tears to my eyes as I recall those precious moments (not unique to my history.) Baseball is not for everyone. If you love the game you understand the rules and may have knowledge of the history of baseball which is often told in statistics. Statistics are unimportant numerical facts about baseball performance that, to the worshippers of the “game,” may mean something that you can argue about with other “believers.” There are a lot of numerical facts and understanding the game means you may remember these “facts” (stats) and cause you to expect something that will happen, based on these stats, in the game you are watching. In much of baseball history, players stayed with “their teams” for long periods of time and lived in their team’s city so the fans could know and love their local “heroes.” Loyalty to team and the sport was based on love for the local “boys of Summer.” Today, the “game” (of baseball) is more a money making business so players, even teams, will move around and loyalty and “tradition” are not honored in the same way.

 

A stress management expert would have you notice that “hope,” “loyalty,” and sitting in the sunshine on a warm Spring/Summer/Fall day, involved in the game, is a stress management experience that has positive effects on many fans, especially when the “home team” wins. Losing ourselves in sporting competition gets us away from other life stressors and allows a release of pent up emotions and stress. Enjoy the mental (and physical) vacation from your life. Celebrate the majesty of the Summer and the “world’s greatest game.”

 

And, before your team gets too far into the season, feel the HOPE for a season of success. Enjoy every victory and the very best that your team’s players can achieve. For the love of the game, “be in the moment” and relish the experience!

Control Your Financial Anxiety

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Are you feeling some Financial Insecurity? Most of us are concerned if not anxious. Or, there are times in life when the economy or business decisions create feelings of insecurity. The recent worldwide recession is  a case in point for the reality of financial uncertainty.

Most people are paying close attention to the dramatic changes in world financial markets. We can not avoid the media frenzy and the feeling in the pit of our stomachs when events in Europe, Asia, or the Middle East cause a flare up in our normal life. Have you lost any sleep thinking about what has happened and wondering about what will the future bring? Some people get that pain in the neck or shoulders, or a tighter than normal jaw, as we attempt to control the upheaval in the financial world by the force of our “will.” Many people are checking their blood pressures or finding an elevation in their heart rate as we respond to the drama…

All of these reactions are caused by our individualized habit patterns that respond when we are experiencing stress. This stress may not be coming from a direct physical threat but our fears and anxieties are triggering this survival response. We can be distracted by our body’s reaction to stress. The “quality of our lives” is reduced by fear and uncertainty. If you are not in denial about the negative effects of financial stress, then you probably want to not be a victim to your body’s reactions to external financial uncertainties.

The first thing to do is to be aware that this reaction is a normal reaction to uncertainty and understand how your unique habitual response manifests. Everyone inherits or learns a pattern of response to emotional stressors. For every physical system that reacts to the stress of change, you can learn to minimize or stop this habituated response. The second thing that you will need to learn is to control your body’s stress response by “letting go” of your habit of holding physical stress in certain systems. This does require some time and some dedication, but you can learn to break your habit pattern. When you can control your body’s reaction you are not only “empowered” but you can save lots of time and energy. This saving of time and energy comes from reducing the waste of energy to physically held tension and reduction of the mental distractions that cause mistakes, accidents, or which slow you down.

So if you want to feel better and perform at a higher level then you must invest some time in the regular, and preventive, practice of an effective stress management strategy. I recommend that you try several forms of relaxation (stress management) and find the one that works for you, and that you feel comfortable with using in a preventive way. Consider learning and using Autogenic Training, Progressive Relaxations, Visualization or Imagery for Relaxation, various styles of Meditation, and possibly, some Yogic practices. Biofeedback technology can offer objective feedback regarding whether your chosen form of stress management is actually effective and providing the benefits you require. You can find the best ways to control your reactions to stress and to improve your quality of life!

Remember, the things that are the most stressful to you, are the things that you care the most about but that you can not fully control! Without full control, our minds create the fears and anxieties that drive our increased stress responses. So, even though we can not control the abrupt changes in the financial markets, we can control the way we respond to these financial fluctuations. These are desperate times for our finances, but for most of us, it is not an immediately life threatening situation. Let’s practice minimizing our stress reactions so we can have more grace in the way we cope with these difficult situations. At the very least we can be good role models for other people in these trying times.

Please take good care of yourself. This will help us ALL survive the anxieties of our uncertain times.

 

L. John Mason, Ph.D. is the country’s leading stress management expert and the author of the best selling “Guide to Stress Reduction.” Since 1977, he has offered Success & Executive Coaching and Training.Please visit the Stress Education Center’s website at Stress, Stress Management, Coaching, and Training for articles, free ezine signup, and learn about the new telecourses that are available. If you would like information or a targeted proposal for training or coaching, please contact us at (360) 593-3833.

If you are looking to promote your training or coaching career, please investigate the Professional Stress Management Training and Certification Program for a secondary source of income or as career path.

Dying at Home

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I have firsthand experience with Home Hospice and the dignity provided a loved one by allowing them to die at home surrounded by their loved ones and the familiar world that they lived. If possible, most people who I know, would want their last days to be at home and not in the sterile environment of the hospital. My wife and I fought cancer for 8 years. She requested Hospice assistance 3 months before cancer took her from our family. I have to admit that even with all that time to prepare that I never gave the death with dignity at home much real thought. It sounded good and I knew it was the way she wanted to die. She did not want to die, at all, but this was not to be avoided. The last 4 days of her life was a blur for me. Even with the knowledge of having signed up for Hospice assistance, and having applied for the “right to die” medication prescription, I was in a fog about what was about to happen and how to deal with it.

The real reason I feel compelled to write this article is the lesson that I am, only now, becoming aware of an important lesson. When my wife came home from the hospital, for the last time, and Hospice had set up the pain management medicine, Lauren (my sister-in-law) and I were left in the house to care for my lovely wife. We worked together as a team and it was going pretty well. There was some fear involved with the responsibility but we had been through many difficult experiences in the 8 years including emergency room visits, major surgeries, chemo therapy, doctor’s visits, and endless medical procedures and testing. Our Home Hospice nurse came the next day to check up on all of us and she increased the amount of pain medication and things seemed OK. With blessings for all of us, my wife passed away the next morning. I was not really prepared. I do not know why other than the blur and the denial that I must have felt at the time. BUT, one year later, I finally a woke to the realization that my wife dying at home was much more traumatic for me (and my sister-in-law) than I had been aware of at the time.

Death with dignity at home is a good thing for the patient but I am not sure how many of the involved family and friends are really well prepared for this experience. I appreciate Home Hospice and what they do. I just never considered how difficult dealing with my ghosts related to watching my beautiful wife die in our home would be for me. A century ago, people dying at home, surrounded by their family, was more common in the United States. This is still common in other cultures around the world but death and dying has been hidden well within the culture of the US where youth and beauty are worshipped, and sickness and death are hidden in hospital and retirement homes. Dying is an inevitable part of life. We can not escape it. We can be better prepared for the death of our loved ones and our own end of life.

My main point of this blog is to report that watching a loved one pass away at home can be more significant than we might be able to imagine. Prepare yourself. Hug your loved ones and friends. Live your life with as much vigilance as possible. Honor your spiritual needs.

I KNOW that my wife is in a better place. She is in a “bigger and better place than you can imagine” I believe. My life will continue and will hopefully find ways to be of service as I live with my “ghosts.”

Accepting Death and Dying As a Buddhist

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Accepting Death and Dying As a Buddhist (from thoughts regarding my wife & her passing)

In the course of blogging I want to serve people who are struggling with life’s lessons regarding aging and the final transition of dying with peace and dignity. Blessings to all of us who are on the path…

 

While confronting the challenges of mortality, I find myself engaged in emotional swings and wonder how an accomplished Buddhist might respond to the death of family member…

 

Does a practicing and accomplished Buddhist gracefully accept the death of close friend or family member? Is there a way to unemotionally accept the passing of a friend with the deeply held belief that the transition is nothing more significant than the cycle of day turning to night? Can a Buddhist clearly resolve that there is only joy in the spiritual evolving of a soul as they pass through physical death into the next incarnation?

 

Beyond the philosophical questions, can I ever truly feel the beauty that death will bring to my loving, graceful wife and not feel the despair in my loss of my close friend/wife? Should I avoid my pain by finding deep acceptance of her destiny in the tradition of a well practiced Buddhist? Will I understand the meaning of emotionally letting go of my fear, sadness, and the void of my loss?

 

There are times when I feel that I accept and understand the meaning and value of the transition of death, and times when I fight my personal despair. What is the perfect balance of these feelings???… And, will I be able to achieve the ideal balance to learn my lessons of this life?

 

Perfection and joy in the sadness of loss…

 

Feeling the release of my loved one from the pain, sorrows and limitations of this life…

 

Embrace the lightness, unconditional love, consciousness, and feeling of complete connectedness of after-life…

 

I was young and I was shocked when as a young man of my mid-twenties I received a letter from a person who knew my friend Judy who died while tubing in the snow on Mt. Shasta. The letter described in rational coolness the beauty of her passing into the next plain of consciousness to do her “work.” At the time, my loss and fear made me feel a lack of insight into the writer’s consciousness and separation from the Buddhist principle that was being shared with me… I was uncomfortable and yet attracted to this view of death and dying. Yet, sometimes I feel that I understand and emotionally connect with this insight. It is a freeing of my soul and spirit to spend moments in this consciousness…

 

How do I maintain this feeling longer? Should I recommend this state of consciousness to other people so they can be free to live without the limitations of fear, sadness, loss, anxiety, and anger regarding the process of death and dying?

 

Is my sadness a conditioned response to the accepted lack of acceptance of death and dying by my society? Has spiritual evolution and freedom of the soul been discourage by a fear based society that ignores death only to falsely celebrate youth and winning in life? Can I release my own need for drama to allow death a more normal and less emotional spot in my life?

 

My learning continues as I confront the thoughts and feelings that are so easily avoided by many members of our culture. As you can see, I take religion out of my struggles for consciousness and yet desire to embrace a philosophy born out Eastern beliefs that I do not know much about but somehow find comfort in the feelings of my exposure to this system. I know that far greater minds have contorted while examining these challenges so I accept that I may not have a final answer. There is something special in the struggle and the process engages me.

 

Please celebrate my struggle and enter into this dance yourself. Any input and feedback is appreciated.

 

 

 

Added perspective from my friend Patricia:

 

As I read your beautiful writing, something comes to mind for me that I learned from Buddhist Psychotherapist, John Welwood.

 

“According to Welwood, for the Western mind, this isn’t an either or in this situation, but rather a both/and. It is possible to feel both the beauty of a loved one’s passing, knowing that the absolute truth of the matter is that she is free from suffering and to also feel the relative suffering of your own personal loss. To do anything other than that is to by-pass your own human condition in some essential way and not listen to the wisdom that is inherent in the body. He calls this “spiritual bypassing.” Does this mean that we are conditioned to feel emotions in a certain way that our Eastern counterparts don’t? I don’t know….

 

I do know that I have moments when I understand and recognize the non-attachment Buddhism teaches, and many more moments when I do not. Mostly what I know is that when I try to force myself to think and/or feel a certain way when I don’t already, I wind up doing a small violence to myself by not acknowledging exactly where I am in any given moment, and then allowing something fresh to appear the next moment.”

 

Thank you, Patricia.

Caffeine Cause Anxiety Attacks

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Caffeine Cause Anxiety Attacks

Since the dawning of the “Information Age” in the early 1980’s the pace of change has accelerated in our society. To keep pace with the explosion of new information and this rapid rate of change, many people have adopted a new coping strategy of increasing their consumption of caffeine. Caffeine is a drug. It is a stimulant which increases many of same physiological responses as the survival response known as the “Flight-Fight” response. It is this reaction by the body to the stimulation from caffeine that can trigger an anxiety-type physical reaction. Many people are unsuspecting and naïve regarding the full extent of this response to which often includes a common, and even, celebrated “rush” of energy. Knowing about this response can keep you from being a victim to caffeine related anxiety attacks.

 

As a stimulant, the effect of caffeine can be different from one person to the next. The amount of caffeine consumed, and then the amount actually absorbed by the body, can contribute to the range of reactions. It is not uncommon for caffeine to cause an increase in brain wave activity that can arouse a tired mind. This is the most desired response for many sleep deprived people. This can backfire on many people who may have a day long response to their morning coffee (or other caffeine source) because many people can not sleep well at bedtime as a response to this early caffeine consumption. This “vicious cycle” will then cause poor quality sleep/rest which requires more caffeine to get “up” for the next day’s activities.

 

The stimulation caused by caffeine can also increase heart rate and for some people increase their blood pressure as it simulates the release of excitatory hormones like adrenaline (epinephrine.) This rapid heart rate, when severe, can scare people, triggering the hormonal release which can cause a greater anxiety reaction. The frightening response to the physical associations of an anxiety attack can cause fear and can even drive people to the emergency rooms with the concern that the patient believes that they going to die from a heart attack. We have enough anxiety in our society without pushing ourselves over the edge with the stimulation of caffeine.

 

Caffeine can cause an increase in skeletal muscle tension as it triggers the classic flight response. This muscle tension can be distracting (loss of focus), cause fatigue, and in many cases increase the likelihood of increased muscle spasms and so, muscle contraction pain. In this way, caffeine can contribute to muscle tension headaches from the tightness of muscles in the jaw, neck, and shoulders. For people suffering from chronic muscular tension pain, this can contribute to their tension and pain. It will often cause an increased anxiety driven response to their pain which can intensify their chronic pain complaints. This is especially true for lower back pain and neck/shoulder pain, as well as the peripheral pains in the arms and legs that can be associated with back pain.

 

For those of you who use caffeine regularly, you should also know that there are plenty of cases of physical and psychological addiction to this drug. Many people feel withdrawal symptoms that are not comfortable when they try to discontinue their caffeine habit. If you want to discontinue, the best way to do this would be gradually over time. Substituting ½ de-caf into your morning coffee and minimizing other caffeine laden products will be helpful. Be patient and drink extra water!

 

In its defense, caffeine can be helpful for some types of headaches such as migraine headaches which can be reduced by caffeine or associated cafergot. (Cafergot is a brand name of the combination of ergotamine and caffeine.) With its stimulating effects on the digestive system, caffeine may also work as a laxative to minimize problems with constipation. Historically, European coffee “salons” were places where intellectuals could meet and have lively discussions while drinking brewed coffee which was more healthful than the untreated available water which was often contaminated with deadly diseases of the Middle Ages. The other alternative beverage for most Middle Age Europeans was to drink beer or alcoholic drinks which did not encourage good discussion, thinking, or productivity.

 

Since the 1980’s, our society has seen an explosion of coffee houses and Espresso stands. You can not get through any American city without being confronted by easily accessible purveyors of liquid coffee refreshments. Both young and old are caught in this “glamorous” habit with expanding zeal. A gift of choice is the insidious gift certificate for the expensive coffee houses. This has gotten to be big business.

 

Besides coffee or espresso drinks, caffeine is found in many products. Black teas, green tea, soft drinks, chocolate candy, and as an additive in many other products are but a few of these additional sources for caffeine. There are even a few products with commercial names like: Jolt, Red Bull, and RockStar that cater to the young caffeine crazed generation that seem to require higher concentrations of caffeine. I do not want to deprive people from indulging in these products, but people must be aware of what the effects of these products can do to their body’s and to people who interact with caffeine saturated folks. Many cases of “road rage” may be traced to the negative effects of over-caffeinated, stressed drivers.

 

Let’s have some common sense. Moderation is a great rule to follow, especially if you are one the people who are most sensitive to the effects of caffeine. Coffee businesses are not bad or the enemy, we just need to learn how use their products in the most appropriate ways.

 

  L. John Mason, Ph.D. is the country’s leading stress management expert and the author of the best selling “Guide to Stress Reduction.” Since 1977, he has offered Success & Executive Coaching and Training.Please visit the Stress Education Center’s website at Stress, Stress Management, Coaching, and Training (at http://www.dstress.com) for articles, free ezine signup, and learn about the new telecourses that are available. If you would like information or a targeted proposal for training or coaching, please contact us at (360) 593-3833.