Healing Secret

Do you believe that someone else “Heals” you? Or, do you believe that you heal yourself? When you get a small cut or scratch how does your body repair itself? When you get exposed to a cold virus how does your body fight off the virus infection? These are mysteries that are just being explored. A doctor in an emergency room can set a bone, or put stitches in a wound, or restart your heart, or prescribe a medication like an antibiotic which can save your life. This demonstrates the mastery of medical arts, but does this heal you?

The power to heal is within you. People with faith may believe that the holy spirit can help the healing process or is it the “belief” in the holy spirit that actually supports the healing? The magic of the body hunting for an infection, building anti-bodies, and then destroying a bacteria or virus or even a cancer cell is still not well understood by medical professionals. There are many who believe that healing can be enhanced by the power of the focused mind.

I bought my wife a crystal that has healing properties, as told to me by the shop keeper. Perhaps the crystal focuses a healing energy that can not be measured by current scientific monitors or perhaps a person’s belief in the healing properties of the crystal are what rallies the patient to enhance their own healing mechanisms. In many ways, it does not matter whether the crystal does the healing or the faith in the crystal provides the healing, but…

From past experience in coaching clients, I have witnessed the power of the positive suggestions offered to enhance the healing process. The positive focus and concentration upon the positive end results and a soothing or calming environment can help promote the healing process. Many clients have responded well, physically and emotionally, to positive visualizations and suggestions, but I can not claim to know why this happens. I do know that the safe way I practice this use of suggestions does not hurt them and it is meant as an adjunctive process to traditional medical protocols.

I have seen “miracles” (or unexplained benefits) occur. As an example, I had a woman in her mid-twenties come in to my private practice with a diagnosis of a hyper-active thyroid and the symptoms that go along with this diagnosis. She said that she had been treated by an endocrinologist for 4 years with little positive result. Her symptoms included: hyperactive behavior, skin breakouts, bulging (protruding) eyes and high levels of thyroid hormone in her blood tests. I told her that I had not worked with this diagnosis (this was early in my career) but as we discussed her life she seemed to respond to information about biofeedback and stress management. We discussed a process that involved relaxation with Autogenic Training and a targeted visualization of blue light and coolness surrounding her thyroid gland to reduce blood supply to her overactive thyroid. It seemed to make sense to her and she went home to practice these techniques. 4 weeks later her skin was better. Her eyes were not bulging. Her energy levels seemed better under control. AND, her doctor found no trace of excessive thyroid hormone in her blood test. She felt that her success was due to her relaxation and visualization of a positive result. She used the power of her mind to heal herself in a measurable way. I loved this experience but I can not really explain the positive result.

I believe that we have the power to help keep ourselves healthy and we can be a big part of the healing process. I recommend that we get diagnosis and support from our medical professionals especially with our personal physicians but we should not always assume that they will heal us… We have a big part of this responsibility and we need to do our part.

I do not know whether a crystal helped my wife but I like to think that she may found emotional support in the belief that a positive environment helped her invest her own healing energies in appropriate ways. I also know that other people’s prayers, healing thoughts, love and positive energy can give great comfort and support. This may assist the healing process by having positive effects on the mind, emotion, and spirit of the person receiving this support.

Heal yourself. Share love and support with people who need healing. Allow them to bask in the healing, spiritual golden-white light of your unconditional, loving thoughts and prayers.

Contact me through the Stress Education Center’s website at www.dstress.com for more healing examples or coaching on how this might benefit your healing process. Please take good care of yourself.

Dangers of Ignoring the Impact of Stress

Why are we in denial?

Have you ever experienced any stress? Is the world more stressful now than it was 20 years ago? Have you ever experienced physical or emotional symptoms that are made worse as a response to stress? Do you believe that the best solution to stress is getting drunk or taking drugs?

I ask these questions many times per month to groups I train or individuals I coach. Without exception, people respond by saying that there is plenty of stress out in the world. It can be a distraction and effect physical and emotional health.

Now I ask you, what do you do, on a daily basis, to control your responses to stress? Do you meditate or practice stress management for 20 minutes per day? Most people say that they are too busy for 20 minutes of relaxation. People think that there is some easier way to control stress like taking medication. It is not convenient to practice stress management, so why bother to do it? The other response that many people use when confronted by the challenges of stress is to a point a finger and then blame someone or something else, rather that to take any responsibility for ones own habitual response to life’s stress.

Do not believe me without testing this out for yourself, but most people find that by practicing 20 minutes of deep relaxation, daily, they will actually save time and energy. Research suggests that 20 minutes of deep relaxation can take the place of as much as 2 hours of sleep and the sleep that you do get will be deeper and more restful. When I first heard this statistic I did not believe it, as most of you will not. I tested the statement and after 3 months I discovered that I required less sleep. Instead of needing 8.5 hours of sleep, I was getting rested with only 7 hours of sleep. So I invested 20 minutes and required 1.5 hours less sleep time. I came out ahead by one hour and ten minutes. Many of my Executive Coaching clients, after I convince them to try the 20 minutes of stress management, report that they get more work done in less time, with less energy, because they are better able to focus and make fewer mistakes. I challenge you to try this activity for 8-12 weeks and find the benefits that will surface.

People resist trying new things even if these “new things” are good for them. In fact, people are so overwhelmed that most of us are apathetic about taking good care of ourselves. We simply do not have the energy to care… Making time, even just 20 minutes per day, is painful and difficult. Motivation is low for using stress management preventively. Stress can cause headaches, high blood pressure, insomnia, rapid heart rates, anxiety, depression, GI complaints, sexual dysfunction, back or neck pain, and poor quality of life, and yet most people would rather develop annoying or dangerous symptoms rather than practice stress management…

Most people have an unconscious need to get beaten up by stress as if it were their badge of honor for surviving our hectic world… There are a few genetic immunes who thrive on stress, with no sleep, and they make the rest of us mere mortals look bad. These “immunes” are in denial and stress will eventually affect their health or their relationships in negative ways. In Japan there is a word “Karoshi” which translates; people who work themselves to death. There is an addiction to work in our society and we need to be aware that the long term consequences of this attitude are high costs to our health, relationships, and quality of life.

When we are younger, we can get away with not sleeping or self-care. We are young and strong and flexible, but as we get older, we lose our flexibility and our strength. We have to learn how to do things smarter instead of “muscling through.” If we don’t, we will pay the price and our denial will not save us from our suffering.

Things in life that are the most stressful are the things that you care the most about but that you can not control. The only thing that you can control is the way that you respond in these difficult situations but this can take time and effort.

Please take your head out of the sand and take good care of yourself. Even if this means spending 20 minutes per day with stress management. It will save you time, energy, and even money in the long run.

L. John Mason, Ph.D. is the country’s leading expert on stress management and the author of the best selling “Guide to Stress Reduction.” Since 1977, he has offered Executive Coaching and Training. In 1978, he opened the Stress Education Center www.dstress.com.

Life Balance Quality of Life

Since the “Information Age” began in the late 1970’s, we have been struggling to keep up with changes in technology and 24/7 streaming information. Consider the 1980’s and 1990’s when the information explosion included: fax machines, cell phones, personal computers, and the internet (world wide web-www.) In today’s world, we often feel that we are falling behind if we do not check our e-mail, text messages, facebook-twitter-myspace (etc) accounts, and have our cell phones turned on ALL THE TIME! There are many people who have no idea how to control their “connectedness” and will text while driving, at dinner, in their counseling appointments (I am NOT kidding,) in the bathroom, or even in other important meetings-classes-dates, etc. Maybe ADDICTION to this connectedness is the issue. Technology has driven us to rethink what Life Balance really looks like.

The concept of Life Balance has been around along time however, the challenge of how to achieve or maintain Life Balance has become a difficult dilemma. There are some major areas in most people lives that are necessary to maintain balance in life. Though we are focused on financial survival, focus only on our finances and our careers is not enough to sustain the highest qualities of life. Often we are trapped into thinking that if we made more money, had a bigger bank account, or had moved to the “better” job, we would be happy and healthy. For most of us, this is a false assumption. Besides money and a decent job, we need to be well-rounded in other important areas of our lives including: our family relationships, our world of friendships, continuing our educational pursuits, our health, participating in aesthetic or creative pursuits, and honoring our spirit. If any of these areas of our lives are not celebrated, with at least brief regular attention, we can suffer from “burnout” and a reduced quality of life. We may lack emotional well-being if we do find make time and put energy into these areas of our lives.

“Healthy” relationships with family and friends are more than just social outlets. It is life sustaining to develop and participate in positive connections with other people. Babies who do not have positive human connection do NOT thrive and can die even when they are provided with food and shelter. Most people need to connect and in our desperation to connect, we often settle for relationships with unhealthy people. This has been a problem that affects quality of life. We must guard against negativity in the people we must interact with and prevent ourselves from being drawn into other people’s “drama.” This is easier said than done…

Our psychological, emotional, and physical health requires regular work and attention. Many people take their health for granted. Many people put other people’s needs before themselves and eventually whither or burnout. Every one of us requires a different pattern of prevention to maintain our health and well-being, so you have to learn what your specific requirements are and do not fall into the trap of doing things that other people say you “should” do, when actually your requirements may be very different.

We must continue to learn and to grow. Life long learning keeps us going and interested in life. Waiting for TV to entertain us is usually not enough. We need to reach out and stimulate our brains with new and challenging situations.

Participating in aesthetically pleasing or creative endeavors is also required for the highest qualities of life. This may be appreciating works of art or going for a walk in nature. It may take the form of hobbies or crafts. It may be time spent creating or appreciating music. It is often shared with other people and aids in positive connections. It is a celebration of life and your own unique creativity. You do not have to be a great artist to celebrate the art that you encounter. And, this leads us to the celebration of our spirit.

Spiritual development is a necessary life sustaining activity. It is not a religious pursuit. It is a pursuit of higher connection to an aesthetic belief or activity. Honoring that positive exposure to nature or art through conscious meditation will help lead to a satisfying quest for your spirit. If we do not pursue understanding and celebration of our spirits, we can lack the depth which helps us to achieve the highest quality of life. To be clear, spiritual development does not require the practice of religion. The spirit does not dwell within a specific religious philosophy or the practice of ritual, for all people.

An additional life requirement for your consideration is the need in life to play or to have fun. A life is best lived when we find time for positive entertaining and joyful experiences. We can often overlook the need to have fun because other challenges are so pressing but people thrive when there is time and energy spent pursuing situations that can bring laughter or, at least, smiles to our daily existence. Please remember to play.

Balance in life requires a commitment to yourself. This commitment includes scheduling time and allocating energy to the various specific areas of your life. A well rounded and balanced life makes time for positive relationships, health practices, and the pursuit of creativity to feed the spirit. What are your requirements? What do you need to add to your life to be whole and complete? Can you be a positive role model for the the people who share your life?

If you require coaching to achieve life balance consider the coaching opportunities available through the Stress Education Center by contacting our website at www.dstress.com.

5 Powerful Stress Management Tools

There are many stress management techniques. Everyone who has spent time attempting to find the best stress management technique has found that there are many ways to reduce stress. The block to success has been that it requires time and patience to develop the awareness and the skills to allow these techniques to have their maximum benefit. I want to list 5 of my favorite techniques and would encourage you to consider trying one or more of these until you find the ones that work best for you. If you have suffered from: lack of focus, high blood pressure, anxiety/panic, headaches, or sleeping problems, seriously consider learning one or more of the following techniques to minimize stress in your body and to get back in control of your life.

Many people have tried forms of Eastern Meditation to relax. These techniques have been around for thousand of years. The “Western mind” may struggle with the discipline it requires to focus your attention and to then “still” your mind. When coaching busy individuals, I do not start with these techniques, except for some of the basic breathing techniques.

What I do start with, and is #1 on my stress management list, is Autogenic Training phrases. I learned these in 1977 as part of some of my original training in stress management and biofeedback. This is the technique that I use regularly for myself. This style of stress management uses 6 basic phrases that I repeat to myself, each 3 times, and then with practice get to the level of stress management that I desire. First there is a “mood” phrase- “I am at peace with myself and fully relaxed” to get me in the mood to begin relaxation. The text for the entire exercise is available in my books with a chapter dedicated to Autogenic training in “Guide to Stress Reduction.” The six basic phrases include: “My right arm is heavy,” repeated 3 times, (then left arm, right leg, left leg, and neck and shouldes are heavy) (which is used to begin to relax skeletal muscles,) then “My right arm is warm,” slowly repeated 3 times, (then left arm, right leg, left leg, and neck and shoulders are warm) (which is used to improve blood flow and circulation into the extremities,) then “My heart beat is calm and regular,” then “My breathing is calm and regular,” then “My stomach region is warm and calm,” and finally, “My forehead is cool and calm (or smooth.” Amazing results after daily use for 8-12 weeks especially with sympathetic nervous system symptoms like: migraine headaches, high blood pressure, panic/anxiety, distress related digestive challenges, etc

My #2 relaxation favorite is progressive relaxation. There is a whole chapter about this technique in “Guide to Stress Reduction” and many other sources. There two major versions of Progressive Relaxation including an “active version” where you tighten and then release muscle groups and the second form which is the “passive version” of attending to muscles and releasing tension without tightening the muscle groups. This is great for sleeping problems, headaches, neck/shoulder pain, and back pain.

#3 is using Visualization or Imagery for stress management. This is often combined with one of my first 2 choices to deepen a relaxation practice. This involves using your imagination to see or feel or hear or even smell mentally constructed relaxation triggers. As an example, picture yourself on a mental vacation in beautiful place outdoors on a warm and peaceful day. Settle back into what ever you might imagine yourself lying on such a lounge chair or a blanket in the warm sand (or grass.) Imagine that you can feel the warmth of the sunshine or the warm breezes as the tension melts away. Perhaps you can imagine the sounds that might surround you like the sound of waves or running water or the sounds of the birds or the warm breezes. Perhaps you can imagine the smell of salt air, or of the flowers or grasses or of the woods. Imagine that you can soak up the warmth and let the tension melt away. This is fun mental relaxation that can help you to control anxiety and start the process of encouraging healing o begin.

#4 Using special breathing techniques to slow yourself down and distract yourself from stressful experiences. Start with taking 3 slow deep breaths to begin to trigger some relaxation. Then you may want to take 4 breaths by slow counting 1-4 as you inhale, then hold your breath for a count of 1-4, and then slowly exhale as you count 1-8. The counting will occupy your mind and help you to relax. A great counting relaxation at bedtime involves counting backward from 50 down to 1 but do it this way. 50,1,2,3, 49,1,2,3 48,1,2,3, 47,12,3 etc. Your mind can get bored with keeping these numbers in line and gradually drift off into a restful sleep. (key: do not rush through this counting and breathe slowly.)

#5 is using a form of biofeedback to monitor your body’s level of stress and then monitor your learning of relaxation as you “let go” of your stress. There are several forms of biofeedback which are used. EMG biofeedback measures levels of electrical activity, or muscle tension, and teaches you to relax specific muscle groups. A more inexpensive form is temperature biofeedback where you begin by taping a simple thermometer to the side of your index finger and allow yourself to relax until you feel your hands warm above 90 degrees Fahrenheit. 93-95 degrees Fahrenheit is ideal and usually symbolizes relaxation of this system. The reason this works for many people is that when we are under the effects of stress we often constrict blood flow into our hands and feet as a survival response. When you can “let go” and have a vaso-dialation which increases blow flow into your extremities you are better able to “let go” of emotional stress and function at a more ideal level.

Most of these simple, but powerful, stress management techniques are described in “Guide to Stress Reduction” and at the Stress Education Center’s website at www.dstress.com. Audios are available for download as stress management products and are at the core of the 5 session online stress management course. Contact us with any questions or for stress management coaching/training.

More information and detailed stress management techniques are listed at the Stress Education Center’s webpage. Please visit and read the “articles” which may assist you.

3 Pillars of Health and Wellness

Most people want to be healthy. Most people enjoy feeling good, having energy, and having their bodies be able to do the activities that are required. Most people take their good health for granted until an accident or illness robs them of their naivety. As we get older, most of us discover that good health is not always to be expected and that it may require some attention to maintain even normal levels of good health. We inherit characteristics from our families both physically, through our genetic code, and as we learn about lifestyle choices. Many families have heart disease or diabetes or obesity or dental problems, etc in their family histories which means that you may be born with a proclivity to develop certain health challenges. Or, we learn by watching our parents live in a healthy way (lifestyle) or a less than healthy lifestyle. We can not always prevent the characteristics we inherit from having a negative impact on our health and our lives. We can take steps to minimize the possible problems from developing or keep them from affecting us in the most damaging ways by practicing health and wellness for prevention. This is easier said than done.

Most people lack the focus, the motivation, and the energy to select the healthier options and to use them regularly. That is why the lifestyle diseases like heart disease, strokes, lung cancer, addiction, and obesity are still the major killers in our society. That is one huge reason why our healthcare costs are so high.
If we “took responsibility” for our good health and practiced wellness, we could live longer in better health. Taking responsibility for our actions is not practiced or taught effectively in our society (editorial opinion.) Most people find that the easier way to live is seductive but not the healthiest way to live. Convenience is not often the long term solution. Bad habits are bad choices.

The 3 principles of wellness and prevention of many diseases are 1. Physical exercise/activity on a regular basis, 2. Eating healthy with reduced portions of more naturally occurring foods, and 3. practicing regular stress management. It requires commitment to put time and energy into using these three pillars of health and many people will try one or two but not find all three in their lives.

Physical exercise or activities for prevention and optimal health should include at least 30 minutes per day for a minimum of 5 days per week. This is minimum for most people to maintain health and vitality. Exercise can be walking, jogging, swimming, cycling, dancing, playing, etc. It does NOT include TV watching or video gaming. Some societies and cultures promote non-automobile driving transportation which may make these people healthier and less sedentary.

Healthy diet and nutritional practices often include eating as close to natural and less “processed foods.” Many people believe the American society eats too much meat, or dairy, or “fast foods,” and this is probably true. Since every person is different, it is difficult to make a blanket judgement and say that “meat eating,” as an example, is bad for everyone. But it is accurate to say that eating too many calories, or too much fast food, or too much food with unpronounceable ingredients is just not a wise choice. Preservatives, artificial coloring, high sugar content, and unnatural flavorings may be worth avoiding, at least in large doses. Fresh fruit and vegetables along with whole grains are generally considered good, unless you have digestive difficulties.

Stress management is very important but often over-looked. Stress kills people. Stress creeps in to people’s lives and robs them of energy, focus, strength, and even time. Stress management often can not eliminate stress from your life, but it can help to minimize the negative effects of stress and anxiety. Our 24/7 information age has create a new set of challenges for our society, and more importantly, our bodies to adapt to reducing the constant attack. A daily relaxation or stress reduction ritual is worthwhile and will save you TIME and energy, in the long run. (Do not believe me…. GO try it for at least 8-12 weeks.)

There are many sources of information regarding healthy choices and prevention techniques that can help to keep us happier and healthier, however, NOT ALL INFORMATION YOU FIND ON THE INTERNET IS RIGHT FOR YOU! You have to make informed choices and you may need GOOD advice and support. Hopefully, you have a GOOD physician or a GOOD nutritionist or a GOOD pharmacist or a GOOD health coach you can discuss information with. Not all health practionners are “GOOD” or have your best well-being in mind. Be careful and get more than one opinion if you are not sure.

Get motivated and get to work. If you need support, find a qualified health coach or trainer to get you started. TAKE responsibility and do not make excuses.

The Stress Education Center has information on many aspects of health and wellness, especially stress reduction. Visit the website at www.dstress.com to learn more about how you get started on your own or get coaching to build a program that is tailored to your specifc requirements.

The Secret to Finding Balance in Life

There are major areas in your life that when left unattended can lead to a lack of balance and prevent you from full life satisfaction. You can be a victim to a lack of awareness regarding these areas and suffer from physical or emotional symptoms including anxiety, depression, headaches, pain, abdominal complaints, and reduce productivity (due to unconscious distractions.) With awareness and action you can use your new balance to be more productive, prosperous and healthy.

Find the 8 essential areas of your life and learn to honor the ones that you do not make time for in your life. This will help to re-prioritize your life and give you greater balance as you pursue your long term goals and aspirations. The 8 essential life areas include: career, finance, family, friends/relationships, education/life long learning, health, creativity/aesthetic, and honoring the spirit. If you do not have a plan for honoring each of these 8 areas then you may not have balance and may have to fight to sustain emotional and physical health and well-being.

The first two areas are obvious and many people spend time and energy working to fulfill these areas. Career relates to your work and the satisfaction that you may achieve through being productive. Many people need to address their work/career if they find themselves under-satisfied by the job that they are employed to do. Training and mentoring can lead to more appropriate career paths. Finance includes current and future plans for financial stability and security. Long term planning is required and impulse control is necessary to help maintain your long-term planning until you achieve your financial goals. There is a great deal of support regarding these two areas and so society tends to focus on these areas but these do always provide life balance or satisfaction by themselves.

“Family” is an area that relates to the closest relationships that we have. The importance of having close ties to your family can vary a lot. Some people require large amounts of contact with parents, siblings, and children. If this were true for you, you have to make time to maintain these relationships. Some people are not as connected or attached to these close family relationships and so they may require less time and attention to maintain their balance. Career and other life distractions can move this area to a seemingly lower priority but this can be a huge mistake and in some cultures, family, is the highest priority. This support is very important and should not be shuffled to lower priorities. If you neglect this area, you may suffer emotionally and physically. Remember that “quality” of time with family is more important than quantity. Do not miss your opportunities for good, close connections even if your schedule is an issue.

“Friends/Relationships” like family are important, but individual needs vary. Time with chosen, “healthy” friends is important. This support both giving and receiving is critical for most humans. These are relationships that can be as intimate as husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, or intense coupling that seems born into our genetic code. When your life is tested by change or tragedy, close, healthy friends and relationships can be critical. Time in your life may need to be allocated to find, build, and maintain these relationships. We all have different levels of needs. Remember that the quality of these contacts is more important than quantity, though people with need for drama in their lives may want to argue about the need to quantity of time for relationships.

“Life-long learning” is the pursuit of knowledge or wisdom that allows you to move forward in your life. Sometimes it is specific to career development but it can also relate to information that can allow for better decision making or following a passion in your life. To not expand your knowledge can lead to a weakening of memory. Studies have proven that an active mind is less likely to suffer of the early onset challenges like dementia. Life is more interesting when you challenge yourself to expand consciousness and information.

“Health” is a “no-brainer” when it comes to balance and life satisfaction. Investing time and energy in keeping fit and eating “right” is an individual but necessary requirement for the most productive life. Bad habits can, and should, be changed, either reduced or eliminated. Substance abuse is a very temporary distraction from pain or anxiety (fear-anger) and does not offer long-term solutions but can lead to long-term impairments. Challenges can “run” in families but this is no excuse for caving in as a victim to poor health. Time spent on health and wellness actually saves you time and money, in the long run. Companies who tract wellness programs often find a cost benefit of $5, or more, for every $1 spent on wellness. This is true for the quality of your life and even your levels of productivity. DO NOT USE “no time” as an excuse. You will save time by practicing stress management, getting regular exercise, and eating better.

“Creativity and Aesthetic” pursuits are not simply producing arts and crafts. Not everyone has talent for this type of creative endeavor. Everyone does have an appreciation for some form of art or natural beauty and we must invest resources in finding the activities that touch your aesthetic needs. Maybe a hike or trip to a museum will meet your requirements and give you balance. Planning a once a month visit to experience a beautiful natural environment or man-made work of art, or going to a performance, or listening to uplifting music can all qualify for creating satisfaction in this area. Being distracted by TV, video games, or movies may not be enough… Exploring your requirements for quality aesthetic exposure is important and is often ignored, with poor long-term results in life satisfaction.

Finally, “Honoring the Spirit” is an area that requires attention. There may be an over-lap with attending to aesthetic or creative pursuits because pursuing the spiritual requirements may have more to do with feeling good in your heart than chasing a philosophy. So religion or religious pursuits do not always involve the true celebration of spirit. Religion can be cerebral or political in ways that may feed the mind but not always the soul/spirit. Do not take this area lightly. When you do not know how to nourish your true spirit you run the risk of having fears and anxieties about important transitions like death/dying, parenting, or aging that when left unresolved can lead to serious emotional imbalance. Everyone has different requirements for honoring or celebrating spirit. Do not fall into the trap of taking on someone else’s belief. FIND YOUR OWN PATH.

If you are unclear how to pursue engaging in any of these areas in your own life, consider finding a mentor or life coach who you can trust to assist you at examining the specific needs you may have in your unique situation and life. If you need assistance, consider the Stress Education Center for this life coaching (www.dstress.com.) But remember, honor your own needs and find a way to incorporate these areas into your life. Life satisfaction may be the biggest and best reward. Take good care of yourself.

10 Tips for Stress Management

These tips are at the core of my 1 day stress management program. Contact me if you have any questions regarding stress reduction coaching through the Stress Education Center’s website at www.dstress.com

Tip #1 Take 40 Deep Slow Diaphragmatic Breaths Each Day (Spread evenly throughout your day not all at once at the end of the day or you might hyperventilate. Try for one every 20 minutes.) You can benefit from associating the deep breaths with some common work occurrence such as the telephone ringing or clock watching. Try this! Though very simple to do, it is a very powerful stress management strategy.

Tip #2 Use Regular Relaxation Periods for Work Breaks. Try fifteen to twenty minute periods of (hopefully) undisturbed time away from phone and/or family. Commit to using this for four to six weeks to begin to see the benefits. If you would like some guidance in developing your stress management skills consider finding an appropriate audio program that is targeted for your specific interest. You will be surprised to find that this will save you time and energy. You will get more done in less time if you are not distracted by internalized stress. Autogenic Training Phrases, Progressive Relaxations, Meditations, or Visualization/Imagery relaxations are recommended. Find the one that works best for you.

Tip #3 Get Regular Exercise. Aerobic activities such as walking, jogging, swimming, biking, etc. for 20 minutes 3 times per week is minimum. Recommended is 30 minutes or more, 4-6 times per week. But do not hurt yourself!

Tip #4 Eat Sensibly. Avoid Caffeine. Do Not Cope With Stress by Using Alcohol or Drugs. If you are stressed out, caffeine is like throwing gasoline on a fire to put it out! The secret is moderation and common-sense.

Tip #5 Get Focused on New Directions and Regular Planning. Give yourself positive options if you feel trapped. Plan for growth in all aspects of your life; not just work and finance (family/relationships, spiritual interests, creativity, vacations, hobbies, etc).

Tip #6 Use and Develop Your Humor! Positive Attitudes Really Help! Difficulties, when viewed as opportunities for growth and proving your abilities, are less harmful. Do not bury your anger, fear or sadness.

Tip #7 Protect Yourself From Negative Co-Workers and Relationships! Do not get caught up in other people negative thinking or let them rip off your peace of mind and positive energy. Take good care of yourself!!

Tip #8 Get Back In Control! If you cannot control all the people and situations that happen around you…. at least you can control the way you respond! Being “out of control” is one of the main sensations that indicate that the stress in your life is a problem.

Tip #9 Give Sincere Compliments Freely and Smile! Be positive and let it shine on all that surround you. It will come back many times more.

Tip #10 Learn to Really Listen! It is the best communication technique that you can develop!

More coaching and tips are available at www.dstress.com

Coping with Grief and Loss – a Process

We all suffer from loss in our lives. Sometimes the loss relates to transitions through life that are normal and expected states of growth and development such as moving from childhood, through the teenage years, and then into the adult responsibilities that confront most people. Though this is a difficult transition, we must all face this if we live past our 18th birthday. There are more serious or traumatic losses that many of us encounter such as the death of close family member or friend, the loss of health due to accident or illness, the loss of an important relationship, or possibly the loss experienced with a career change or loss of a job. These are difficult times and hard lessons to experience in the course of life. These losses, though potentially painful, can be times of learning and personal growth. Many of these transitions can be less distracting and with a greater potential for learning if you have a positive support network. Here is the dilemma. Most people do not have a network of healthy, positive supporters to allow for movement through difficult transitions with grace and healing perspectives.

We can learn from our painful transitions and losses. We can wade through these changes more gracefully, and possibly with less discomfort, if we have the best team of support surrounding us. Some people look for professional counselors or coaches, or perhaps clergy to help with difficult transitions. Some of us have personal mentors who can be trusted and who have the necessary communication skills to assist in times of need. Some of us have healthy relationships, friends or family who can help without too much of their own “baggage.” Many people do not have enough access to the positive supporters who can help us through the grief that life throws at us.

There are many books and potential sources of information which help us to understand the process of dealing with loss and grief but for most people reading about the grief process is not enough. We need to be supported by a personalized experience that we can gather around us as we muddle our way through our emotional and spiritual pains of loss. We need to be “touched” by the proper support in many ways. We need to be allowed our grief and yet “called on it” when we have gone past the limit and start the “wallowing process.” We need to find the exact, personalized process to assist in managing the stress, anxiety, pain, confusion, and the “emptiness” of replacing the part of ourselves which has been lost with the more experienced and empowered person who has survived a major change/loss/growth…

Each of us need to find the best way to learn our lesson and then to move on into our new, restructured life. We need to learn the best way to take care of ourselves, benefit from the lessons, and then discover the most appropriate directions to move our new life. To do this, we need to find people we can trust and invest the resources into the process of self-care and self-development so we can move down the path that leads to our goals. This is easier said than done, but if you realize that you would survive this transition more easily and possibly more quickly with positive assistance then you must do the work and find the correct support you require.

In the future, we will be expanding and releasing information regarding a new program which can assist most people in developing an individualized transition plan. We are beginning to build a process for creating a positive support network which will enable participants to discover their strengths, accept their weakness or flaws, and to free up energy to invest for moving toward positive goals and enhanced lifestyles. The working title for this process is “Finding Your Tone.”

Please comment or send questions to the Stress Education Center at wellness@dstress.com or visit the website at www.dstress.com.