Tag Archives: acceptance

Do You Want to Be “Right” or Do You Want to Be Happy?

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This discussion has been going on for a long time. Do you have the burning need to be “Right” even with the possibility that you may create difficulties? May people will choose Happiness. The desire to be Happy outways the NEED to be Right. This does not mean that you can not “get your way” or sacrifice your beliefs and deeper values. It means that you do not ALWAYS have to get the “Last Word” in a disagreement. Gently make your point but do not demand that you are the Winner. (As I write this I realize that Winner and Whiner seems similar as they roll off my tongue…) You can have your “Beliefs” without Demanding full acceptance by everyone in the room, or even the world… (Because you ain’t gonna get that anyway…)

Judgements also get in the way! Relationships with deeply held “Judgements” are not often relationships that breed longterm happiness. Judging other people, their words, their activities, their lifestyle, their beliefs, even their “Looks” can get in the way of deeper connections which can be beneficial, for perspective, if nothing else. Sitting in Judgement separates you. You may feel superior or “Right” but there is ALWAYS another point of view! Be careful when you Judge. At the very least, know when you are “Judging” another person so you can learn from your limitation. (Your limiting view of the world…)

To be Happy is to share your joy! Try to love unconditionally. Try to accept without qualification. For acceptance connects people and differing opinions in a way where there views can become tools for learning and growth. Be “Right” by finding the emotional, mental, and spiritual space to allow for differences.

This is NOT easy and requires compromise in the decision making process. BUT, being too polarized and too “Black and White” is a Judgement that will get in your way to finding deeper peace and a Happy Life.

Blessings and Namaste my Friend.

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Count Your Blessings!

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Have you ever heard that expression, “Count Your Blessings?” Why would someone say this to you? What is the purpose for looking for the “Positives” in the life you are here to live? For many people, it is easier to look for the problems and the negative interactions and perhaps even play a “Victim” to these challenges. But does looking for and living within the “negative” give you the joy that can be found in this world?

What do YOU give thanks for in the world? Even the most brutal lessons can be honored as important opportunities to learn from, even if the learning is what NOT to do. Personally, I have learned more from my mistakes and my painful relationships than I have learned from when my life was most easy and successful. The 8 years I lived with my wife’s terminal cancer I would not wish upon anyone and yet these were some of the most important years for learning in my life. The lessons of empathy and compassion were so valuable. The fear and the sharing within our many crisis’ was such a powerful tool for learning about the human dilemma. The closeness that we grew into, with the love at a level tested by trauma, was an amazing and important experience for me. AND, from all of this learning, I find that I have wisdom and gifts to share.

So, look for the difficult experiences as well as the joys when you look for the many blessings that YOU have been granted. Do not keep these a secret. Share them! Challenge others to appreciate being more fully “Present.” Bask in the drama that is your lessons of this life. Do not hesitate to reach out for other people. Allow them to support you AND reach out to share your love and support with them. Find compassion and caring. Find the perfection of the divine spirit within every soul you encounter, even the ones who trigger your fear, anger/frustration, and your defenses. Each encounter is there for a reason. Each encounter is there for your learning.

Blessings to you! Love and appreciate each moment and share your love and wisdom whenever you can.

If you are looking for support and resources to focus upon your spiritual growth and development, consider the Masters of the Journey community. YOU are a Blessing! You have a Purpose! The Universe would have a huge hole in it if you did not exist… With Love – Namaste!

I Have No Fear

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“I have no fear because everything is as the Force (Divine) wills it.” Thanks Rodger for this quote from the new Star Wars film, “Rogue One,” which will be released in December, 2016. I love it when fantasy fiction triggers deep insight… Or, at least thoughts…

The “Course in Miracles” and many other Metaphysical, New Age oracles seem to repeat that there is only “Fear” and “Love” and only “Love” wins. Some say that Fear is just a form of Love. Love is the force that drives the Divine Spirit and is at the core of all creation and consciousness. Our “human forms” with our mind’s ego do not move beyond this incarnation and so the survival of body, mind, and ego create fear as a way of creating separation and as a “survival response.” Deeper Acceptance of the Divine and its core force of Love can allow for the release of the “Meatsuit,” the mind, and certainly, the ego, as we transition into the next learning incarnation.

There is the belief that the soul/spirit never dies but moves on. If it never dies then we do not need to fear death or change. (Which is easier said than done….) We can accept the loss of the “illusion” of this life and its reality. (Again, easier said than done…) We can even find ourselves in the soul and spirit of every person we encounter and so to hate (or fear) them is to hate ourselves! (Judgement is so difficult to release…)

Fear is a great motivator. Fear energizes us to push through uncomfortable experiences. Fear can also paralyze us and keep us from moving through life. A lot has been said regarding “Over-coming Fear!” Perhaps accepting our “humanism” with weaknesses, flaws, and anxiety is an important lesson. Can we truly accept our lessons and know that whatever happens it is “Perfect” and just the way the Divine “wills it?” I am told that when Gandhi’s assassin approached him and pulled the trigger for the lethal shot, Gandhi blessed him and accepted his demise. Was this acceptance or Divine wisdom or stupid defenselessness? For me, hearing this story brings a deeper level of appreciation when it comes to being devoted to Love, non-violence, and trusting the Divine. I am not sure how I would react if I found myself in a similar situation. So, I must still be on my path to acceptance and lesson learning…

Blessings to you and Know your Fear in ways where it does NOT control you. (Again, easier said than done…)

Live in Love and Joy. Find Acceptance in your soul.

Consider the support community of Masters of the Journey so you can share your wisdom as the Master you are.

Basking in the Light of Self-Acceptance

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Can you allow yourself to bask in the light of Self-Love and Self-Acceptance? Can you see and accept both your strengths and your flaws? Can you find a way to break from being a “victim” of your challenges and your lessons?

Life would be easy if the answers to these questions was “Yes.” For most of us, we are in the struggle called “living” and can not find the time and energy to even ask these questions, let alone, develop the answers. These are questions that people have asked and struggled to answer since the first humans had enough consciousness to realize that they were more than just animals attempting to survive in a difficult, dangerous world. The lessons of consciousness that we historically struggle with are often ones like: What is my purpose? or Why am I alive? or Is there a God? or What happens when I die? or How can I find Love? or How can I keep the faith even as the storm of humiliation and disappointment surround me? There are no easy answers… but for each of us the process of discovery along the path to finding these answers is what our lives are all about.

I believe that each one of us is connected to a higher consciousness and our goal in life is to learn from our flaws/challenges so we can get a less filtered view of this pure consciousness. We are trying to connect with the God within us and to bask in the light of unconditional love and consciousness.

At some point, we must acknowledge our imperfections and find a way to accept these challenges as the lessons we have to learn. By accepting these flaws and giving up the “fight against them,” we can free our energy to find a better way to our life’s purpose and our goals. By giving up being a victim to our weaknesses or imperfections, we can invest our time and energy in moving more freely to the light of higher consciousness. Why is it easier to accept other people and their imperfections, than it is to accept our own? Accept and celebrate your flaws, especially if you wish to find a way to move in more positive directions.

Along the way, find and celebrate the God within you. You may be surprised to find how surprisingly familiar this supreme consciousness really is. (For me, God is not a religious term. It is a word that symbolizes unconditional love in the purest form and the highest consciousness that connects all living things.)

Anxiety & Aging the Dilemma for Baby Boomers

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I admit it. I am an aging Baby Boomer. I accept than I am aging and that I am not in my 20’s, nor 30’s, even my 40’s or 50’s. I am past 60 and more than beginning to show my age. Physically, I mean. Mentally, emotionally, and spiritually I am still a puppy BUT… If you are a Baby Boomer, you know where I am going with this.

My hair is not the same color as it was in my 20’s. Nor is there as much hair as there was in those photos of me with shoulder length locks and the full dark beard that I recently posted on Facebook. Believe it or not, I weigh more than I did when I was in my early 20s. In my early 50s, I took to wearing reading glasses and now my bifocals are my constant companion. Even my hearing has been impacted by the time, activities, and the years since my youth. My doctor reminds me that I need certain regular unspeakable tests as a more than I would want, course of my annual physicals. Though I manage my stress and anxiety fairly well through regular relaxation, meditation, and exercise, I find the anxiety of aging creeping closer to the surface. The situation is not unique just to me.

I don’t have the youthful energy that I once had nor the ability to focus and concentrate. It seems to take me longer to learn certain tasks and yet I do not want to give up on learning new things. I am not sure whether I am just frustrated by the aging process or whether there is some deeper levels of anxiety and fears that I or someone like me, may need to address. For most of my life, I have a pattern of being oppositional and not truly fitting in with the age that has been prescribed for me. I still feel youthful, excited, and passionate about life and yet I don’t seem to have quite as much energy. So as I struggle with the current reality I know that I am not alone and that there are many people who are dealing with the same situation and would like to find a forum for us all to work together and to support each other as we deal with the consequences of aging.

I do not claim to have a magic diet or exercise program that can eliminate the impact of aging. I would like to be able to offer a process where each of us can minimize the impact of the anxiety of aging. There are people who struggle a great deal more than me with the discovery of wrinkles, lack of skin tone, the widening of the waistline, the reduction of hair, or even the loss of key body parts like teeth. I have been blessed with a relatively healthy body and yet I still feel the effects of the aging process as I celebrate my mid-60s. This may not be true for everyone, but I do not wish to go back and be a teenager or someone in my 20s again. I simply wish that my body did not behave as if it were a large sack of stones that I must drag around at certain times.

For me a passive life of sitting still does not resonate. I like to be active and energized by new and exciting things. I like to tell my stories of times past when I hiked over mountain passes far above timberline and yet most days I do not feel I have the energy to trudge up those trails the way I did in my 20s and 30s and 40s. Truth be known, I can still do many of the things that I tell stories about but in this day and age I would do them more slowly and probably less gracefully. Again, I do not find my situation unique to me and I would like to be a voice for many of us baby boomers who can still not believe that the insidious aging process offers us “better days”.

Perhaps what is needed is a new perspective and a new way of looking at my now worn life. People tell me that I should focus on the positive like what I can do and what my body is able to perform. And yet there are times when any limitation makes me boil. I also admit that I am far from being a patient person. I’ve said for years that there will be a time later in life when I engage in accepting the process of being patient. I have not found that time in life as of yet. I’m not jealous of people who have their youth or of people who are in better shape than I, I am only envious of my memories of what I once took for granted and now find difficult if not impossible to do.

My ranting in this blog is designed to be a point of discussion. I would like to build a process where there can be physical control of fear and anxiety and the wherewithal to find greater emotional acceptance to live with the challenges that we all must face. From using the techniques that I have taught for 40 years in stress management and from sports psychology, I know that there are ways that we can minimize the impact of the aging process at least on our mind and our spirit. If you have an interest in developing your own skills for dealing with the aging process please contribute to this blog with comments and continue to follow your passion and be a role model for all of us.

Thank you for your time and consideration. Blessings to you and all of us baby boomers.