Stress Management and Consciousness Development
Are you feeling some Financial Insecurity? Most of us are concerned if not anxious. Or, there are times in life when the economy or business decisions create feelings of insecurity. The recent worldwide recession is a case in point for the reality of financial uncertainty.
Most people are paying close attention to the dramatic changes in world financial markets. We can not avoid the media frenzy and the feeling in the pit of our stomachs when events in Europe, Asia, or the Middle East cause a flare up in our normal life. Have you lost any sleep thinking about what has happened and wondering about what will the future bring? Some people get that pain in the neck or shoulders, or a tighter than normal jaw, as we attempt to control the upheaval in the financial world by the force of our “will.” Many people are checking their blood pressures or finding an elevation in their heart rate as we respond to the drama…
All of these reactions are caused by our individualized habit patterns that respond when we are experiencing stress. This stress may not be coming from a direct physical threat but our fears and anxieties are triggering this survival response. We can be distracted by our body’s reaction to stress. The “quality of our lives” is reduced by fear and uncertainty. If you are not in denial about the negative effects of financial stress, then you probably want to not be a victim to your body’s reactions to external financial uncertainties.
The first thing to do is to be aware that this reaction is a normal reaction to uncertainty and understand how your unique habitual response manifests. Everyone inherits or learns a pattern of response to emotional stressors. For every physical system that reacts to the stress of change, you can learn to minimize or stop this habituated response. The second thing that you will need to learn is to control your body’s stress response by “letting go” of your habit of holding physical stress in certain systems. This does require some time and some dedication, but you can learn to break your habit pattern. When you can control your body’s reaction you are not only “empowered” but you can save lots of time and energy. This saving of time and energy comes from reducing the waste of energy to physically held tension and reduction of the mental distractions that cause mistakes, accidents, or which slow you down.
So if you want to feel better and perform at a higher level then you must invest some time in the regular, and preventive, practice of an effective stress management strategy. I recommend that you try several forms of relaxation (stress management) and find the one that works for you, and that you feel comfortable with using in a preventive way. Consider learning and using Autogenic Training, Progressive Relaxations, Visualization or Imagery for Relaxation, various styles of Meditation, and possibly, some Yogic practices. Biofeedback technology can offer objective feedback regarding whether your chosen form of stress management is actually effective and providing the benefits you require. You can find the best ways to control your reactions to stress and to improve your quality of life!
Remember, the things that are the most stressful to you, are the things that you care the most about but that you can not fully control! Without full control, our minds create the fears and anxieties that drive our increased stress responses. So, even though we can not control the abrupt changes in the financial markets, we can control the way we respond to these financial fluctuations. These are desperate times for our finances, but for most of us, it is not an immediately life threatening situation. Let’s practice minimizing our stress reactions so we can have more grace in the way we cope with these difficult situations. At the very least we can be good role models for other people in these trying times.
Please take good care of yourself. This will help us ALL survive the anxieties of our uncertain times.
L. John Mason, Ph.D. is the country’s leading stress management expert and the author of the best selling “Guide to Stress Reduction.” Since 1977, he has offered Success & Executive Coaching and Training.Please visit the Stress Education Center’s website at Stress, Stress Management, Coaching, and Training for articles, free ezine signup, and learn about the new telecourses that are available. If you would like information or a targeted proposal for training or coaching, please contact us at (360) 593-3833.
If you are looking to promote your training or coaching career, please investigate the Professional Stress Management Training and Certification Program for a secondary source of income or as career path. |
I have firsthand experience with Home Hospice and the dignity provided a loved one by allowing them to die at home surrounded by their loved ones and the familiar world that they lived. If possible, most people who I know, would want their last days to be at home and not in the sterile environment of the hospital. My wife and I fought cancer for 8 years. She requested Hospice assistance 3 months before cancer took her from our family. I have to admit that even with all that time to prepare that I never gave the death with dignity at home much real thought. It sounded good and I knew it was the way she wanted to die. She did not want to die, at all, but this was not to be avoided. The last 4 days of her life was a blur for me. Even with the knowledge of having signed up for Hospice assistance, and having applied for the “right to die” medication prescription, I was in a fog about what was about to happen and how to deal with it.
The real reason I feel compelled to write this article is the lesson that I am, only now, becoming aware of an important lesson. When my wife came home from the hospital, for the last time, and Hospice had set up the pain management medicine, Lauren (my sister-in-law) and I were left in the house to care for my lovely wife. We worked together as a team and it was going pretty well. There was some fear involved with the responsibility but we had been through many difficult experiences in the 8 years including emergency room visits, major surgeries, chemo therapy, doctor’s visits, and endless medical procedures and testing. Our Home Hospice nurse came the next day to check up on all of us and she increased the amount of pain medication and things seemed OK. With blessings for all of us, my wife passed away the next morning. I was not really prepared. I do not know why other than the blur and the denial that I must have felt at the time. BUT, one year later, I finally a woke to the realization that my wife dying at home was much more traumatic for me (and my sister-in-law) than I had been aware of at the time.
Death with dignity at home is a good thing for the patient but I am not sure how many of the involved family and friends are really well prepared for this experience. I appreciate Home Hospice and what they do. I just never considered how difficult dealing with my ghosts related to watching my beautiful wife die in our home would be for me. A century ago, people dying at home, surrounded by their family, was more common in the United States. This is still common in other cultures around the world but death and dying has been hidden well within the culture of the US where youth and beauty are worshipped, and sickness and death are hidden in hospital and retirement homes. Dying is an inevitable part of life. We can not escape it. We can be better prepared for the death of our loved ones and our own end of life.
My main point of this blog is to report that watching a loved one pass away at home can be more significant than we might be able to imagine. Prepare yourself. Hug your loved ones and friends. Live your life with as much vigilance as possible. Honor your spiritual needs.
I KNOW that my wife is in a better place. She is in a “bigger and better place than you can imagine” I believe. My life will continue and will hopefully find ways to be of service as I live with my “ghosts.”
Though traveling can be fun, exciting and satisfying, traveling can be stressful. The nervous excitement manifests for the traveler in the same way that stress triggers your “flight-fight” response. Many people experience a range from subtle to devastating symptoms such as: racing heart rates, high blood pressure, “nervous” stomachs, head or back aches, poor sleep, anxiety, fatigue, loss of concentration, and perhaps even increases in compulsive behaviors. By the nature of travel, you are getting out or away from your “normal” life and this can make your subconscious survival mechanisms feel threatened, so triggering some, or all, of your basic (and primitive) survival techniques. Many people interpret this as the “excitement” of traveling, yet this mechanism can take away from the fun or productivity of your trip.
It is useful to know how to practice self-care and stress management while you are “on the road.” Relaxation strategies vary greatly for each individual responds in their own unique way to stress and also to stress management techniques. You must find ones that work best for you. You might consider the basic stress management strategies such as: getting exercise (go for a walk,) or simple breathing techniques (to relax muscles and to slow heart rates,) or forms of meditation or yoga (to quiet your mind, ) or more Western techniques like Autogenic Training phrases – Progressive Relaxations (to make you more “present” and in control,) or even visualization/imagery techniques. These techniques will work best when you practiced them before your travels and have developed some mastery over your stress responses.
While traveling, it may be difficult to watch your diet but you can consider controlling your consumption of caffeine or alcohol, if these contribute to your travel stress. Many people consider alcohol as a relaxation strategy, and for some people small amounts may be helpful, but this is not the recommended strategy for most people due to the potential negative outcomes (harm to your body or your mind.) Other drugs and medications are used but dependency and potential for abuse can be less than ideal.
Sleep problems are common while traveling. This can be made worse by stress. Lack of adequate sleep can also contribute to the increase of other stress related symptoms and also reduce the enjoyment of your trip. Planning for good, restful sleep while traveling can be difficult but worth your serious consideration as you make the plans for your travels especial on extended trips. Do not under-estimate the importance of good quality sleep and the impact on your productivity on a business trip or your enjoyment during recreational travel. Consider what you require for a good quality sleep and the amount of sleep you may find ideal.
It is best you to have awareness regarding your own specific needs and requirements before you travel and find the best techniques for you to use while on your vacation or business trip.
Please remember to take good care of yourself. If you need any targeted coaching regarding the best ways to manage your travel related stress, please contact the Stress Education Center at www.dstress.com.
Accepting Death and Dying As a Buddhist (from thoughts regarding my wife & her passing)
In the course of blogging I want to serve people who are struggling with life’s lessons regarding aging and the final transition of dying with peace and dignity. Blessings to all of us who are on the path…
While confronting the challenges of mortality, I find myself engaged in emotional swings and wonder how an accomplished Buddhist might respond to the death of family member…
Does a practicing and accomplished Buddhist gracefully accept the death of close friend or family member? Is there a way to unemotionally accept the passing of a friend with the deeply held belief that the transition is nothing more significant than the cycle of day turning to night? Can a Buddhist clearly resolve that there is only joy in the spiritual evolving of a soul as they pass through physical death into the next incarnation?
Beyond the philosophical questions, can I ever truly feel the beauty that death will bring to my loving, graceful wife and not feel the despair in my loss of my close friend/wife? Should I avoid my pain by finding deep acceptance of her destiny in the tradition of a well practiced Buddhist? Will I understand the meaning of emotionally letting go of my fear, sadness, and the void of my loss?
There are times when I feel that I accept and understand the meaning and value of the transition of death, and times when I fight my personal despair. What is the perfect balance of these feelings???… And, will I be able to achieve the ideal balance to learn my lessons of this life?
Perfection and joy in the sadness of loss…
Feeling the release of my loved one from the pain, sorrows and limitations of this life…
Embrace the lightness, unconditional love, consciousness, and feeling of complete connectedness of after-life…
I was young and I was shocked when as a young man of my mid-twenties I received a letter from a person who knew my friend Judy who died while tubing in the snow on Mt. Shasta. The letter described in rational coolness the beauty of her passing into the next plain of consciousness to do her “work.” At the time, my loss and fear made me feel a lack of insight into the writer’s consciousness and separation from the Buddhist principle that was being shared with me… I was uncomfortable and yet attracted to this view of death and dying. Yet, sometimes I feel that I understand and emotionally connect with this insight. It is a freeing of my soul and spirit to spend moments in this consciousness…
How do I maintain this feeling longer? Should I recommend this state of consciousness to other people so they can be free to live without the limitations of fear, sadness, loss, anxiety, and anger regarding the process of death and dying?
Is my sadness a conditioned response to the accepted lack of acceptance of death and dying by my society? Has spiritual evolution and freedom of the soul been discourage by a fear based society that ignores death only to falsely celebrate youth and winning in life? Can I release my own need for drama to allow death a more normal and less emotional spot in my life?
My learning continues as I confront the thoughts and feelings that are so easily avoided by many members of our culture. As you can see, I take religion out of my struggles for consciousness and yet desire to embrace a philosophy born out Eastern beliefs that I do not know much about but somehow find comfort in the feelings of my exposure to this system. I know that far greater minds have contorted while examining these challenges so I accept that I may not have a final answer. There is something special in the struggle and the process engages me.
Please celebrate my struggle and enter into this dance yourself. Any input and feedback is appreciated.
Added perspective from my friend Patricia:
As I read your beautiful writing, something comes to mind for me that I learned from Buddhist Psychotherapist, John Welwood.
“According to Welwood, for the Western mind, this isn’t an either or in this situation, but rather a both/and. It is possible to feel both the beauty of a loved one’s passing, knowing that the absolute truth of the matter is that she is free from suffering and to also feel the relative suffering of your own personal loss. To do anything other than that is to by-pass your own human condition in some essential way and not listen to the wisdom that is inherent in the body. He calls this “spiritual bypassing.” Does this mean that we are conditioned to feel emotions in a certain way that our Eastern counterparts don’t? I don’t know….
I do know that I have moments when I understand and recognize the non-attachment Buddhism teaches, and many more moments when I do not. Mostly what I know is that when I try to force myself to think and/or feel a certain way when I don’t already, I wind up doing a small violence to myself by not acknowledging exactly where I am in any given moment, and then allowing something fresh to appear the next moment.”
Thank you, Patricia.
Caffeine Cause Anxiety Attacks
Since the dawning of the “Information Age” in the early 1980’s the pace of change has accelerated in our society. To keep pace with the explosion of new information and this rapid rate of change, many people have adopted a new coping strategy of increasing their consumption of caffeine. Caffeine is a drug. It is a stimulant which increases many of same physiological responses as the survival response known as the “Flight-Fight” response. It is this reaction by the body to the stimulation from caffeine that can trigger an anxiety-type physical reaction. Many people are unsuspecting and naïve regarding the full extent of this response to which often includes a common, and even, celebrated “rush” of energy. Knowing about this response can keep you from being a victim to caffeine related anxiety attacks.
As a stimulant, the effect of caffeine can be different from one person to the next. The amount of caffeine consumed, and then the amount actually absorbed by the body, can contribute to the range of reactions. It is not uncommon for caffeine to cause an increase in brain wave activity that can arouse a tired mind. This is the most desired response for many sleep deprived people. This can backfire on many people who may have a day long response to their morning coffee (or other caffeine source) because many people can not sleep well at bedtime as a response to this early caffeine consumption. This “vicious cycle” will then cause poor quality sleep/rest which requires more caffeine to get “up” for the next day’s activities.
The stimulation caused by caffeine can also increase heart rate and for some people increase their blood pressure as it simulates the release of excitatory hormones like adrenaline (epinephrine.) This rapid heart rate, when severe, can scare people, triggering the hormonal release which can cause a greater anxiety reaction. The frightening response to the physical associations of an anxiety attack can cause fear and can even drive people to the emergency rooms with the concern that the patient believes that they going to die from a heart attack. We have enough anxiety in our society without pushing ourselves over the edge with the stimulation of caffeine.
Caffeine can cause an increase in skeletal muscle tension as it triggers the classic flight response. This muscle tension can be distracting (loss of focus), cause fatigue, and in many cases increase the likelihood of increased muscle spasms and so, muscle contraction pain. In this way, caffeine can contribute to muscle tension headaches from the tightness of muscles in the jaw, neck, and shoulders. For people suffering from chronic muscular tension pain, this can contribute to their tension and pain. It will often cause an increased anxiety driven response to their pain which can intensify their chronic pain complaints. This is especially true for lower back pain and neck/shoulder pain, as well as the peripheral pains in the arms and legs that can be associated with back pain.
For those of you who use caffeine regularly, you should also know that there are plenty of cases of physical and psychological addiction to this drug. Many people feel withdrawal symptoms that are not comfortable when they try to discontinue their caffeine habit. If you want to discontinue, the best way to do this would be gradually over time. Substituting ½ de-caf into your morning coffee and minimizing other caffeine laden products will be helpful. Be patient and drink extra water!
In its defense, caffeine can be helpful for some types of headaches such as migraine headaches which can be reduced by caffeine or associated cafergot. (Cafergot is a brand name of the combination of ergotamine and caffeine.) With its stimulating effects on the digestive system, caffeine may also work as a laxative to minimize problems with constipation. Historically, European coffee “salons” were places where intellectuals could meet and have lively discussions while drinking brewed coffee which was more healthful than the untreated available water which was often contaminated with deadly diseases of the Middle Ages. The other alternative beverage for most Middle Age Europeans was to drink beer or alcoholic drinks which did not encourage good discussion, thinking, or productivity.
Since the 1980’s, our society has seen an explosion of coffee houses and Espresso stands. You can not get through any American city without being confronted by easily accessible purveyors of liquid coffee refreshments. Both young and old are caught in this “glamorous” habit with expanding zeal. A gift of choice is the insidious gift certificate for the expensive coffee houses. This has gotten to be big business.
Besides coffee or espresso drinks, caffeine is found in many products. Black teas, green tea, soft drinks, chocolate candy, and as an additive in many other products are but a few of these additional sources for caffeine. There are even a few products with commercial names like: Jolt, Red Bull, and RockStar that cater to the young caffeine crazed generation that seem to require higher concentrations of caffeine. I do not want to deprive people from indulging in these products, but people must be aware of what the effects of these products can do to their body’s and to people who interact with caffeine saturated folks. Many cases of “road rage” may be traced to the negative effects of over-caffeinated, stressed drivers.
Let’s have some common sense. Moderation is a great rule to follow, especially if you are one the people who are most sensitive to the effects of caffeine. Coffee businesses are not bad or the enemy, we just need to learn how use their products in the most appropriate ways.
L. John Mason, Ph.D. is the country’s leading stress management expert and the author of the best selling “Guide to Stress Reduction.” Since 1977, he has offered Success & Executive Coaching and Training.Please visit the Stress Education Center’s website at Stress, Stress Management, Coaching, and Training (at http://www.dstress.com) for articles, free ezine signup, and learn about the new telecourses that are available. If you would like information or a targeted proposal for training or coaching, please contact us at (360) 593-3833. |
Stress Management Techniques a list
The book, Guide to Stress Reduction, is a cook book with recipes for relaxation and stress management. Find the formula that works best for you and read the step by step guided strategies for deep relaxation. The following is a list of some of the most effective stress management strategies from this book.
There are also specific stress management protocols for working to lessen or eliminate certain stress related physical and emotional symptoms like:
Through the Stress Education Center you can get coaching or training for you or your organization. You can also get the Stress Management On-line Course (Five sessions with handouts, biofeedback, and recorded stress management techniques.) Articles and this blog are available through the website. Consider whether this will benefit you and get more information at www.dstress.com.
Thanks for reading our blog. We will be posting information regarding stress, stress management, stress reduction, and general blogs regarding surviving in life’s fast paced world. Please send comments and requests for additional topics/subjects which we can address.
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