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Change Happens: Change & Transition Management

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Life change is unavoidable. The pace of change has increased to a record rate with the latest innovations and information technologies. Our body’s primitive response mechanism has not been able to keep pace and we are living with “overwhelm” as a daily companion. We do not have time to adapt at a genetic level, so we must learn to use behavioral adaptations to survive and thrive.

Each of us is a unique person with our unique habitual response to stress. Some of us respond to stress with anger, frustration, rage, or fear. Some of us get “uptight” and hold tension in our jaws, necks, shoulders, backs, or legs. Some of us want to run away as a response. Sometimes we tighten our stomachs, hold our breath, feel our heart racing, our blood pressure may rise, or our hands and feet may get cold. Sometimes we withdraw as if we could hide from the dangers of newness of our transitions.

When we do not have any “control” over the transition and it is an “important” issue, then our stress levels increase. Our body responds, in the only way that it can, as if we were in a life or death situation. We must learn that in life’s interactions, the only thing that we can control is our response to the event. If this situation is important to us, it is best if we can have some input in the change process. We must understand our role and importance of our contribution to the larger picture. And finally, we must be meticulous with our self-care.

If stress comes from an unclear picture of what the transition entails and what our role in this transition will be, then we can respond with fear and resistance which can hurt the project and often our credibility. Communication with higher ups, peers, and the personnel we must manage is critical. Make sure everyone really understands their value, their role, and their contribution to the success of the project. Honesty is essential. Open conversations about the fears of the new or the grieving of the things that have had to change to make way for the new policy or procedure. Dealing with these issues will enroll the participants more successfully.

In a perfect world, there would be time to honor all of these necessary steps for positive transitions, but often the reality is less complete. We must develop strong, uncompromising habits for personal survival and self-care. This might include non-negotiable time for exercise and stress management practice. It would include patterns during stressful transitions where there is enough time for sleep/rest and proper nutrition. Simplify your expectations and distractions. It may not be the best time to take on new projects that would add to the stress like: remodeling the house, moving, new relationships, or large family or social commitments. In other words, use your best common sense and do not over do non-essential activities.

Consider using the following checklist of eight tools for managing major transitions more gracefully.
Tips for Surviving Change

1. Self-Care Daily! See and Use the suggestions from the Ten Timely Tips article (at “articles page” of www.dstress.com.) Self-care is the single most important ingredient to maintaining balance as you go through transitions and change. Proper diet, exercise, and regular relaxations will allow you to be more productive with a higher quality of life!

2. Communicate. Keep yourself from falling into the pitfalls of life by giving and getting feedback about every major concern (change/transition) you are dealing with. Remember, listening is the most important part of communicating. Ask for clarification, so you can make good decisions.

3. Planning… Be Prepared. A productive journey through life’s transitions can not occur gracefully without a plan. Long range goals can keep short-term setbacks from defeating you in major ways. Focus on your long term goals regularly to keep you focused and moving ahead. Plan in every area of life: Finance, self-care, education, relationship, emotional growth, creativity/aesthetic, and spiritual development.

4. Develop Positive Support Mechanisms. If you want to survive, in good health, you need to have proper feedback and support. The “Family” is not always the best place. Friends and professional counselors can sometimes be the best venue for honesty and appropriate support.

5. Develop Positive Rewards. Small and large rewards along your way help make motivation easier, especially with large, long-term goals. A real heartfelt pat on your own back with achieving a reward makes the difficulties easier to bear.

6. Use and Develop Your Humor! Positive Attitudes Really Help! Difficulties, when viewed as opportunities for growth and proving your abilities, are less harmful. But do not bury your anger, fear or sadness.

7. Deal with the Dilemma of Diversity! Every change throws you into a position of dealing with new people, teams, attitudes, emotional “stretches” and more new obstacles. Learning acceptance (through self-care) can help you to make the necessary adjustments and get along faster toward productivity and higher performance. There will always be a contrary attitude around, accept that other opinions exist and you are entitled to your own.

8. Maintain Balance in Your Life! Prioritize, acknowledge, celebrate, and follow through on every area of life, including your emotional and spiritual needs.

© L. John Mason, Ph.D. Stress Education Center and Dstress.com

L. John Mason, Ph.D. is the author of the best selling “Guide to Stress Reduction.” Since 1977, he has offered Executive Coaching and Training.

Please visit the Stress Education Center’s website at http://www.dstress.com for articles, free blog, and learn about the new courses that are available. If you would like information or a targeted proposal for training or coaching, please contact us at (360) 593-3833.

Strategies for Hiring Winners: Executive Summary

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Would you like to avoid hiring mistakes, if possible? The following are tips from executives interviewed especially for this article.

The secret to hiring “winners” is:
Know the job and your company’s culture, then find the correct person to fill the job.

Hiring mistakes are very costly. Estimates range from 1-10 times the annual salaries, with the general consensus being 3 times the annual salary. This is based on recruiting and training the wrong candidate (the mistake), waiting for the productivity that does not come, removing the person, dealing with morale and sabotage, replacing and training the next candidate. If you have an engineer or mid-level manager that earns $80,000 – $100,000 this can be a cost to your company of $240,000 to $300,000 for just one mistake!

90% of all hiring decisions are made by an interview. Interviewing is 14% accurate according to Michigan State University. This percentage can increase if you have hiring managers that are really well trained or if their intuition is very well developed. The training for interviewers must be extensive because as Victoria Perrault, VP of AFC says, there are “obvious problems” when the hiring interviews are a “fly by the seat of your pants” experience. She is leading AFC into a “Success Profile” approach to benchmark the critical success factors. Yvonne Myers, Director of HR at Legacy Marketing group (a 540 person insurance sales & marketing business), has found results to be “dead on” for their E.Q.I. Profile which creates a “footprint” (benchmark) which helps develop specific interview questions that determine the soft-skill competencies of their candidates for job success. These insure that the candidates will be the “right fit” for their organization.

More companies are assessing the competencies necessary for specific jobs within their specific cultures. Some companies are benchmarking their personnel and selecting the top performers and comparing assessment results with their poorest performers to discover the patterns of success that are required for top production and satisfaction on the job. More fortune 500 companies report that they are using assessments, which is up from 15% in 1985 to 30% in 1996 and expected to hit over 50% by 2002.

The assessments are also used for staff development, planning training, and to aid managers finding the ideal motivation for specific staff members.

Kent Sherwood, CEO of Sutter Medical Center of Santa Rosa, emphasized the need for “integrity” as the highest quality for leadership candidates. He also looks for honesty, reliability, follow through, and straight talking. Good candidates must have the skill set necessary or have the “inclination to learn in a reasonable time” with the appropriate personality to blend with the existing culture.

Fred Philpott, VP of Human Resources for Kendall-Jackson Wine Estates, uses a model to check for winning characteristics which include: A.) Technical/experience B.) Behavior: drive, urgency, ethics, Integrity, open communication, business acumen, global-strategic thinking, teaming-partnering, consensus, quick decisions, C.) Bottomline ability to influence and persuade.

Two of three companies either use recruiters or have used recruiters to get qualified candidates to interview. The other companies rely on internal referral and developing leaders from within the organization (which is a great retention strategy.)

Hiring Winners Checklist:
1. Know the job – skills, experience, soft-skills, competencies. Develop clear expectations.
2. Know your company’s culture (Mission, Vision, Values)
3. Benchmark your top and bottom performers (assess the styles, behaviors and attitudes of your winners!)
4. Develop your interview process to adequately assess candidates’ necessary soft-skills
5. Hire the Right People for the Right Job!
6. Support and develop your key talent. Get them to love your company!
7. Continuously re-assess your hiring process.

W. Edwards Deming said, “If a person is not performing as expected, it is probably because they have been miscast for the job.”

Special thanks to all the business leaders who contributed their business wisdom and experience including (in order of interview dates): Kent Sherwood, CEO of Sutter Medical Center of Santa Rosa Deborah Meekins, President and CEO of Sonoma National Bank Greg Peters, President and CEO of Mahi Networks Victoria Perrault, VP of Administrative Services of AFC Seritta White, CEO of S.K. White Consulting Fred Philpott, VP of Human Resources of Kendall-Jackson Wine Estates Rob Thorson, Manager of Human Resources of Westamerica Bank Shirley Gordon, VP for Northern California of State Farm Insurance Yvonne Myers, Director of Human Resources of Legacy Marketing Group Martin Grove, District Manager of State Compensation Insurance Fund Paul Herrerias, CEO of Herrerias & Associates

This executive summary is based on interviews and research conducted by L. John Mason, Ph.D. of the Stress Education Center.

For a detailed report on the Hiring Winners and Retaining Key Personnel please contact Dr. Mason at mason@dstress.com or (360) 593-3833. Ask about a proposal for benchmarking your top performers with special assessments that are designed to help you match their behaviors and attitudes with potential new hires.

L. John Mason, Ph.D. is the author of the best selling “Guide to Stress Reduction.” Since 1977, he has offered Executive Coaching and Training.

Please visit the Stress Education Center’s website at http://www.dstress.com for articles, free blog signup, and learn about the new telecourses that are available. If you would like information or a targeted proposal for training or coaching, please contact us at (360) 593-3833.

Behavioral Techniques for Controlling Panic and Anxiety

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Symptoms of panic and anxiety can be confused with life threatening physical disorders! Please consult your physician to determine the source of your symptoms.

This is an update of specific things you can do to control the symptoms of panic and anxiety attacks. These devastating occurrences can negatively affect your day to day quality of life. But this is not news for anyone suffering from this terrible disorder. Millions of people live in fear of these “attacks.” Major transitions, trauma, and stress can lead to feelings of little or no control over one’s life! This can affect people in major ways.

A scary symptom which can develop is called Panic (or Panic Attack.”) A panic episode can come on suddenly or can awaken you from your sleep with a nasty feeling of apprehension. Some people believe that they are having a heart attack because often there is chest pain, a shortness of breath, neck or arm pain, major stomach upset, an adrenaline rush, lightheadedness, dizziness, and other unpleasant feelings of fear and apprehension. These feelings can be triggered by specific events such as: driving (getting stuck in traffic), shopping, waiting in lines at stores, banks, post offices, etc, feeling trapped in church/movies/classes, traveling distances from home (especially flying, etc.), making a presentation in front of a group of people (drawing attention toward yourself), doing new or unfamiliar activities, meeting new people, basically, doing anything new or seemingly stressful where you may fear “LOSING CONTROL.” Loss of control is the main feature that makes this so frightening for the people who suffer from panic and anxiety. We may not know a panic sufferer by looking at him or her because they can maintain such good control that unless we were to look very carefully we might not notice the nervousness below the surface.

Heart problems, chest pain, and respiratory difficulties (hyperventilation and dizziness are common symptoms of panic/anxiety attacks) should be carefully examined by your physician! If no heart related problem exists, but you are still in great fear of these occurrences of panic then the following behavioral program, with practice, will greatly aid you in preventing or at least minimizing the episodes of panic. Also, remember that exciting/positive actions or events can raise your heart rate. This excitement is not bad or life threatening, but you fear of the physical symptoms of excitement can really hamper your enjoyment of life!

The keys to controlling panic and anxiety are:
• Breathe slowly/diaphragmatically
• Remain in the present… in your body, in a positive way
• Positive self-talk… not negative ruminations
• Avoid caffeine and stimulants
• Regular aerobic exercise
• Regular deep relaxation with Biofeedback Temperature monitoring
• Use relaxation tapes/CD’s regularly!
• Learn to warm your hands and feet
• Get support in confronting and then desensitizing yourself to fears/phobias
• Taper your anti-anxiety medication after you have mastered the relaxation-biofeedback

1. Learn to breathe diaphragmatically
Place a hand over your upper abdomen
Push it OUT as you inhale
Let in move IN as you exhale
Let your chest, shoulder, neck, and back relax as you breathe.
Only on a very deep breath should these parts move in the breath.
This may be the most important Panic Control Technique you can learn!

2. Use any of the Stress Management CDs, especially, Stress Management for Controlling Panic and Anxiety (From www.dstress.com products), 1-3 times per day for 8-12 weeks.

After achieving a level of controlled deep relaxation, repeat suggestions of “control,” especially control of slow, regular breathing and slow regular heart rate. Suggestions of “letting go” to help achieve hand and foot warming, along with any visualizations that can encourage this increase of peripheral blood flow, would be very useful, as well.

Use some sort of temperature training biofeedback device on your hands to learn how to warm your hands with relaxation. When you can consistently get above 90 degrees Fahrenheit (93-95 degrees is ideal) then you can begin to master warming your feet to 90 degrees.

When you can “let go” by relaxing and warming your hands and feet, you will be able to control if not prevent your panic episodes. Then you must develop the confidence in your control so the fear of panic will not control your life.

3. Regular exercise will help you to work off the effects of life’s stresses
3-5 times per week of regular exercise that can elevate your heart rate for 15-45 minutes would be best. Check with your doctor before beginning an exercise program if you have been inactive for a long while. Even though elevating your heart rate can be a little scary, the release of tensions and the strengthening of your cardiovascular system will have great benefits.

4. Eat regular meals.
Low fat and complex carbohydrates are better than fast foods with lots of sugar. AVOID CAFFEINE and other stimulants. Caffeine is found in coffee, black teas, cola drinks, chocolate, some over-the-counter pain medications, and other foods/drugs. Read labels. Eating as closely as you can to natural foods (lots of: fruits, vegetables, whole grains, etc.) will benefit any one.

5. Practice positive self-talk.
Do not let your fears escalate into you losing control of your body and your mind. By breathing slowly and staying in your body, in present time, you avoid falling into the negative pattern of fear and panic.

6. Get support from your friends, doctor, and a therapist if necessary.

Check your area for panic/anxiety support or treatment groups! Regular use of anti-anxiety medications may be better than just taking your prescription only after the panic has begun. Reduce your medication in a supervised way after you have mastered the relaxation/biofeedback control techniques.

Remember you can get back in control of your body and your life! You must make this a priority so you can avoid being a victim to this set of scary symptoms.

Panic/anxiety is not always your enemy. This reaction is designed to protect you and may teach you something about the stresses and transitions you are going through. Denial of these challenges only creates a more stubborn set of symptoms that can be more debilitating.

Other Good books that can help you:
David Barlow, Ph.D. and Jerome Cerny, Psychological Treatment of Panic, Guilford Press, New York. 1988.
Susan Lark, MD, Anxiety & Stress: A Self-Help Program, Westchester Publishing Company, Los Altos, CA. 1993.

For more information regarding the Stress Education Center Panic/Anxiety Control Program visit the website at www.dstress.com or call 360-593-3833.

Hypnosis for Stress Management

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“Suggestions” for Relaxation: Hypnosis for Stress Management

Recently, I received a request to blog about the use of hypnosis for stress management. “Hypnosis” can be a charged and mis-understood word. Many under-educated people will say that the use of hypnosis is immoral because some religious authority, who has probably used a lot of waking hypnosis, has scared them into believing that “evil” can be done with hypnosis. (In fact, this very negative comment is a hypnotic suggestion that can have huge impact on unaware people.) Putting this aside, hypnosis is a commonly used technique that is used in sales/marketing, health care, and for mental health. Most people have experienced some level of hypnosis or hypnotic “trance” and may not even realize that they have “been under.” As an example, have you ever watch a series of commercials on TV and then can not consciously recall the products that were advertised BUT you find yourself drawn into buying a marketed product when you get to the supermarket like a brand name product (instead of a less expensive generic product, that probably will work about the same…) Or, have you ever been driving down the highway, watching the lane lines flow by, and miss your turn off. These are light trances that happen to most people as they move through life.

Hypnosis is a mental state of relaxation that can vary from a light state of trance to a deep, sleep-like state of trance. In the deeper states of trance, you may “drift-off” into dream-like state where many normal distractions will simply melt away, leaving you comfortable, peaceful, and with greatly reduced anxiety levels. Once in a “trance,” you can allow yourself to accept a “suggestion” that may be able to assist you by working with the “sub-conscious” part of your mind. Most of what actually happens in the brain dwells in the “sub-conscious” part of the mind because there is so much going on in the brain that we could not possibly be “conscious” of all of it. For example, we can not consciously know our heart rate, blood pressure, hormonal activity, all levels of muscle activity, internal temperature/metabolism, and all the micro-adjustments necessary to maintain balance. But, the sub-conscious part of our brains is monitoring and adjusting to subtle changes, unless we are manifesting some sort of ailment. A positive suggestion like: “you are feeling deeply satisfied with the small portion of food you are eating (on your current diet)” can help people to feel better and to lose some weight. A “positive suggestion” is created to be both a positive phrase and placed into the “present” moment of time for this is the best way to reach the sub-conscious part of the mind in a positive way. There is an art to creating the perfect positive suggestion and knowing the ideal time to use this suggestion to get the best results.

The state of hypnosis is truly “self-hypnosis” because most people will not allow themselves to slip into this state of consciousness unwillingly. Also, any suggestion offered will be screened for safety and moral appropriateness by the sub-conscious mind so people will not blindly follow a suggestion and hurt themselves or others unless they would normally do this in their normal lives. 10% of the population are very “suggestable” and will comply with an offered suggestion. These people are great consumers (for commercials are aimed at influencing these people) and a stage hypnotist will select these people for a stage show because they make for entertaining spectacles up on stage. Most people are not nearly as suggestable but can be offered positive suggestions that will work if they are motivated to make the suggested change (and if this change does not go against their normal moral beliefs.)

To go into a “state of hypnosis” or trance, you can relax yourself with many relaxing strategies such as: slow deep breathing, counting slowly backward, progressive relaxations, using autogenic training phrases, focusing on an object like a candle, fireplace, stream, or waves breaking on the beach and then allow yourself to drift into a more calm and peaceful state of mind and body. This act alone is therapeutic because it allows for relaxation, stress/anxiety management, and reduced levels of pain and discomfort. You can also use a more specific “induction” like the one written out on the “articles” page of the Stress Education Center’s website (link at https://dstress.com/basic-guided-relaxation/) to get to a deeper level of relaxation that can be used for self-hypnosis. Once you are relaxed and comfortable, you may want to read or mentally repeat your positive suggestion (maybe 10 times) so this suggestion will begin to drift into the sub-conscious part of your mind. This technique may need to be repeated for several days or even weeks before the suggestion will really work to the best level possible. If you do this work, and are motivated to change, you will find the positive results.

Hypnosis and positive suggestions can be used to control or change habits or behaviors, improve performance and productivity, manage health related challenges, and to enhance the quality of life. Most people can not be forced into making changes unless they are motivate to change so be careful of your expectations if you are ambivalent about what you wish to change.

If you feel that you may want more support or coaching consider contacting the Stress Education Center at www.dstress.com for a personalized coaching program. Please take good care of yourself.

10 Tips to Survive the Holidays

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    10 Tips to Survive the Holidaze

The Holidays are more stressful and overwhelming, now.
Do you want to be happier and healthier this holiday season?
Would you like to enjoy the holidays more?

This article is devoted to Holiday Stress Survival Tips to improve quality of life through the holidays.
This holiday season will be stress filled. World economic swings and terrorism have created conditions that have changed our holiday celebrations. Attitudes towards travel, being with family, celebration in the face of fear and sadness, will make this year’s holiday season different than in years past. Adjustments will help to create new ways of participating in the holiday events. These can be both positive and negative. Consider new traditions in self-care. Search for community support that will open your heart to the joys that are possible in this season.

Remember the things that are the most stressful are the things that you care the most about, but have the least control over. World events, the economy, the way people respond, and our families (and children) are major stressors that we wish we could control, but often can not.

1. Schedule Time for Self-Care!
Regular exercise and time for stress management are a must. Find what techniques work best for you, and use these tools. This is non-negotiable time devoted for your health and well being.

2. Eat Well
Moderation is the key. Do not use alcohol or drugs for stress management. Do not “over” celebrate. Avoid fast foods.

3. Avoid Caffeine
Minimize the impact of caffeine on your life.

4. Plan the Holiday… Set some limits
Do not over spend your financial and emotional resources.

5. Control Your Expectations of:
Happiness, Joy, Sadness, and Loneliness

6. Be Nice to Others
Give compliments and smile. Around negative, anxious, or rude people, take a breath and remember that you do not need to get pulled into other people’s holiday misery or their craziness.

7. Reach Out for Support
Talk with “stable” friends or family, or clergy, or mental health counselors.

8. Humor Helps… Have Fun
Laugh daily, if possible.

9. Stay in the Present!
Mentally and emotionally, do not be consumed by things that happened in the past or fear events in the future. Enjoy the people you are with and make the very best of the situation that you are in.

10. Find the True Spirit of the Holidays

Share this with those people who you love or care about. Contact us with your questions or comments.
Please take good care of yourself.

L. John Mason, Ph.D. is the author of the best selling “Guide to Stress Reduction.” Since 1977, he has offered Executive Coaching and Training.

Please visit the Stress Education Center’s website at http://www.dstress.com for articles, free ezine signup, and learn about the new telecourses that are available.

If you are looking to promote your training or coaching career, please investigate the Professional Stress Management Training and Certification Program for a secondary source of income or as career path.

The Unexamined Life is Not Worth Living

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This extreme concept has reason for examination, even today…

“I’m sure you’ve read this quote before: “The unexamined life is not worth living.” Socrates said that at his trial for heresy. He was on trial for encouraging his students to challenge the accepted beliefs of the time and think for themselves. The sentence was death but Socrates had the option of suggesting an alternative punishment. He could have chosen life in prison or exile, and would likely have avoided death. But Socrates believed that these alternatives would rob him of the only thing that made life useful: Examining the world around him and discussing how to make the world a better place. Without his “examined life” there was no point in living. So he suggested that Athens reward him for his service to society. The result, of course, is that they had no alternative and were forced to vote for a punishment of death.”
Quote from an article by Karl W. Palachuk

But what does this say about YOUR life?… Do you plod through your existence with your eyes focused only on your work or present task, or do you focus on a larger perspective of examining your place in a large frame of reference? Do you question what you hear on the TV or on the internet or in the newspapers or even from your teachers or ministers? Do you spend time and energy adjusting your life’s direction to create better opportunities to serve? Do you challenge yourself to learn new things, no matter what your age or circumstance? Do you risk the fear and anxiety of discovering the deeper secrets of your own existence? Would you confront a found flaw or weakness within yourself to help to make a better YOU? Do you ask for feedback from counselors who do not let you take the easy path through life? Finally, do you place yourself in new experiences to test yourself so that you can “stretch” and to grow emotionally and intellectually?

Many people just give up. They think that they already know everything that they need to know about themselves and their world. They are lazy. They are too scared to risk change. They may be too frightened to challenge themselves and their beliefs with new perspectives. They risk being bad role models for the next generation by not living on the edge and continuing to self-examine and to grow. It is safer and easier to live with old ways of thinking and long held values, but the world, and consciousness, is changing too fast to tolerate, and reward, this anachronistic way of being/thinking. In fact, if you are not thinking FOR YOURSELF someone else’s thought will guide your life and these may not be a good fit for your lifestyle. It takes courage to find, and develop, your own path. It takes courage to stand out and to speak out for your own personal truth. But it is worth it!

In my opinion, there was a war on education (and thinking) in the United States of America which begin in the early 1980’s. We now suffer from a populace which does not no where to find information and perspective. We trust the “media” and are often too lazy to think for ourselves. Stupidity is not an excuse that our electorate can tolerate without our country becoming a second rate power/country. Believing the “media” without fact checking and really thinking is a recipe for disaster. The self-examination includes the difficult view of ourselves and whether we are too lazy to learn or at least checking the “facts” before forming our decisions.

Keep moving forward or risk dying… Challenge yourself! Never fall into the trap of thinking that you are too old to learn or too old to change.

I would love your thoughts and your feedback. Please contact me through our website at the Stress Education Center at www.dstress.com.

The Secret to Finding Balance in Life

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There are major areas in your life that when left unattended can lead to a lack of balance and prevent you from full life satisfaction. You can be a victim to a lack of awareness regarding these areas and suffer from physical or emotional symptoms including anxiety, depression, headaches, pain, abdominal complaints, and reduce productivity (due to unconscious distractions.) With awareness and action you can use your new balance to be more productive, prosperous and healthy.

Find the 8 essential areas of your life and learn to honor the ones that you do not make time for in your life. This will help to re-prioritize your life and give you greater balance as you pursue your long term goals and aspirations. The 8 essential life areas include: career, finance, family, friends/relationships, education/life long learning, health, creativity/aesthetic, and honoring the spirit. If you do not have a plan for honoring each of these 8 areas then you may not have balance and may have to fight to sustain emotional and physical health and well-being.

The first two areas are obvious and many people spend time and energy working to fulfill these areas. Career relates to your work and the satisfaction that you may achieve through being productive. Many people need to address their work/career if they find themselves under-satisfied by the job that they are employed to do. Training and mentoring can lead to more appropriate career paths. Finance includes current and future plans for financial stability and security. Long term planning is required and impulse control is necessary to help maintain your long-term planning until you achieve your financial goals. There is a great deal of support regarding these two areas and so society tends to focus on these areas but these do always provide life balance or satisfaction by themselves.

“Family” is an area that relates to the closest relationships that we have. The importance of having close ties to your family can vary a lot. Some people require large amounts of contact with parents, siblings, and children. If this were true for you, you have to make time to maintain these relationships. Some people are not as connected or attached to these close family relationships and so they may require less time and attention to maintain their balance. Career and other life distractions can move this area to a seemingly lower priority but this can be a huge mistake and in some cultures, family, is the highest priority. This support is very important and should not be shuffled to lower priorities. If you neglect this area, you may suffer emotionally and physically. Remember that “quality” of time with family is more important than quantity. Do not miss your opportunities for good, close connections even if your schedule is an issue.

“Friends/Relationships” like family are important, but individual needs vary. Time with chosen, “healthy” friends is important. This support both giving and receiving is critical for most humans. These are relationships that can be as intimate as husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, or intense coupling that seems born into our genetic code. When your life is tested by change or tragedy, close, healthy friends and relationships can be critical. Time in your life may need to be allocated to find, build, and maintain these relationships. We all have different levels of needs. Remember that the quality of these contacts is more important than quantity, though people with need for drama in their lives may want to argue about the need to quantity of time for relationships.

“Life-long learning” is the pursuit of knowledge or wisdom that allows you to move forward in your life. Sometimes it is specific to career development but it can also relate to information that can allow for better decision making or following a passion in your life. To not expand your knowledge can lead to a weakening of memory. Studies have proven that an active mind is less likely to suffer of the early onset challenges like dementia. Life is more interesting when you challenge yourself to expand consciousness and information.

“Health” is a “no-brainer” when it comes to balance and life satisfaction. Investing time and energy in keeping fit and eating “right” is an individual but necessary requirement for the most productive life. Bad habits can, and should, be changed, either reduced or eliminated. Substance abuse is a very temporary distraction from pain or anxiety (fear-anger) and does not offer long-term solutions but can lead to long-term impairments. Challenges can “run” in families but this is no excuse for caving in as a victim to poor health. Time spent on health and wellness actually saves you time and money, in the long run. Companies who tract wellness programs often find a cost benefit of $5, or more, for every $1 spent on wellness. This is true for the quality of your life and even your levels of productivity. DO NOT USE “no time” as an excuse. You will save time by practicing stress management, getting regular exercise, and eating better.

“Creativity and Aesthetic” pursuits are not simply producing arts and crafts. Not everyone has talent for this type of creative endeavor. Everyone does have an appreciation for some form of art or natural beauty and we must invest resources in finding the activities that touch your aesthetic needs. Maybe a hike or trip to a museum will meet your requirements and give you balance. Planning a once a month visit to experience a beautiful natural environment or man-made work of art, or going to a performance, or listening to uplifting music can all qualify for creating satisfaction in this area. Being distracted by TV, video games, or movies may not be enough… Exploring your requirements for quality aesthetic exposure is important and is often ignored, with poor long-term results in life satisfaction.

Finally, “Honoring the Spirit” is an area that requires attention. There may be an over-lap with attending to aesthetic or creative pursuits because pursuing the spiritual requirements may have more to do with feeling good in your heart than chasing a philosophy. So religion or religious pursuits do not always involve the true celebration of spirit. Religion can be cerebral or political in ways that may feed the mind but not always the soul/spirit. Do not take this area lightly. When you do not know how to nourish your true spirit you run the risk of having fears and anxieties about important transitions like death/dying, parenting, or aging that when left unresolved can lead to serious emotional imbalance. Everyone has different requirements for honoring or celebrating spirit. Do not fall into the trap of taking on someone else’s belief. FIND YOUR OWN PATH.

If you are unclear how to pursue engaging in any of these areas in your own life, consider finding a mentor or life coach who you can trust to assist you at examining the specific needs you may have in your unique situation and life. If you need assistance, consider the Stress Education Center for this life coaching (www.dstress.com.) But remember, honor your own needs and find a way to incorporate these areas into your life. Life satisfaction may be the biggest and best reward. Take good care of yourself.

Controlling Anxiety: Techniques That Can Help

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Anxiety can stop you in your tracks. The physical and emotional sensations of anxiety and fear grab your energy, your attention, and rob you of the quality of life you deserve. Anxiety can manifest physically in many ways including: chest pain, racing heart/pulse, upset stomach (poor digestion,) rapid breathing, increased blood pressure, sweating, cold hands and feet, neck/back pain, loss of concentration, feelings of extreme fear and possibly thoughts of heart problems. Prolonged anxiety and fear can lead to depression, loss of energy, and desperation that you may want to “escape.” People “escape” by self-medicating with alcohol, medications, drugs, food, and other possibly risky behaviors. (Many people who have substance abuse challenges are suffering from under controlled anxiety which can lead to abuse and dependence on medications or illegal substances.)

Feeling “out of control” is a common description of the physical and emotional state of anxiety. Getting back in control of body and mind is the desired result. People who have the motivation to get back in control can benefit from some basic information and the willingness to do some work to create awareness regarding the personal manifestations of anxiety and then learning the ways to control it to minimize, if not eliminate, the anxiety.

Awareness is half the battle. If you are aware of the the way your body responds when you start to experience anxiety and how your body’s “flight/fight response” generates this habituated pattern will be a huge start. Reading articles about the “flight/Fight response” (also known as the physiology of stress) will show you how your primitive survival mechanisms can get out of control in your response to life’s stressors so triggering the anxiety response. Every one of the physical and emotional manifestations can be reduced and controlled, but fear can intensify these sensations for the suffers of anxiety. Medications for anxiety are designed to reverse these physical symptoms but do not offer good tools for prevention or for a sense of personal control over these complaints. You can beat this!

The second part of the anxiety control program is to learn how to physically and emotionally relax leading to personal control over the anxiety response. This requires dedication and practice. Most people will require 8-12 weeks of regular daily practice to begin to turn the corner on the habituated fears and physical symptoms of anxiety. For example, learning to go opposite the anxiety response by learning to slow your heart rate and to warm your hands/feet (by improving blood flow through relaxed, dialated blood vessels) requires the focus on “letting go,” slowing your mind, and imagining the warming (or pulse) into your extremities (fingers/toes.) You can learn to do this! More information about how to do this and the technique of temperature training biofeedback can assist you and can be found on the “Articles” page at the Stress Education Center’s website www.dstress.com.

With practice and some mastery of your stress/anxiety response, the next step can include a “desensitization” to any anxiety invoking stimuli. Yes, even the fear of public speaking or flying can be reduced and controlled. For this, you may want a coach or counselor to assist you but the principles are simple, but powerful. The following through will help you to beat your anxiety and then give you back the control over your body and your life.

Contact the Stress Education Center if you want more information and coaching on how to make this personalized for your specific requirements. Please take good care of yourself. AND, remember, you can beat anxiety! I hope that you find the very best anxiety control program which matches you with the most effective anxiety control techniques. It is worth the effort!

Achieving Your Financial Goals: A Secret to Success

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Part I:
Do you have a goal to your financial success? Do you have a plan for reaching this goal? If you are like most people, you desire financial security and higher levels of financial success. The dream of financial freedom and a demonstration of business acumen are quite common as a precursor to reaching your ultimate vision, but how do you actually reach your objective? It all starts with a well conceived goal.

Have you ever worked on a major project like building a house, writing a book, creating a successful business venture, taking a extended trip, developing a larger community project or fund raiser, or created a large event (like a wedding, rock concert, class re-union, etc.)? Any of these projects can not reach success without a solid plan.

A “Dream” of wealth or financial success is different than a well thought through plan. Planning starts with goal setting. It requires that you spend the time necessary to gather information, outline the necessary steps to achieve the project, develop a workable timeline, acquire the resources, and take the steps to move down the path to your goal.

These are simple concepts. Why do so many people have dreams that are never fulfilled? What steps must you take to achieve your dreams? You can not plan without a viable goal. You can not succeed on a large, important goal without sustained action. You can not achieve success without commitment and focus. If you are not “driven,” can you accomplish your larger goals? Can learned attitudes or beliefs sabotage your success?

Part II:
Most people do not do the “work.” The work is goal setting, planning, gathering the necessary resources, and the focused follow through for their success. People want the benefits of financial success without committing to the real required work. Sometimes the required work includes the “work” on oneself to understand and then overcome ones own resistance to financial success. It is hard to attract money and financial success if you actually fear or loath wealth. Many people stand in their own way to achieving success. These people say that they want to succeed but do not believe that they will succeed. Many people who have not done the “work” will reach financial goals and then sabotage their long-term objectives because they are not really ready for success.

A necessary secret to success:

If you are serious about achieving your financial goals, you must get serious about dealing with your deep resistance to success.

You may require support and coaching. In some cases you may have to go further and get good therapy to get to the source of your negative attitudes or beliefs. If you have not reached your highest levels of productivity and success, then you may have to get “outside” perspective to overcome your barriers. If you think that you do not require extra support or coaching, and you want to make the same mistakes over and over, then do not make any changes. It will be more comfortable to do it the “old” way, but do not expect better results. If you really want to gain the success that you desire then it is time to “knuckle-down” and get to work. Be excited about the possibilities and as open as you can be to the new insights that will help to drive your success.

One resource for you to create some awareness about your possible sources of resistance and some new behaviors that you can adopt that will lead to financial success can be found in a book titled “Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, Mastering the Inner Game of Wealth” by T. Harv Eker. I learned a lot by reading this book. Eker claims that there are 17 behaviors that are common for financially successful people that can be missing in less successful people and by modeling these behaviors you can move more easily toward your financial goals. You may want to take action and review this type of information.

Along the way, remember to make time to take good care of yourself. Financial success means nothing if you have compromised your physical, emotional, and spiritual health.

L. John Mason, Ph.D. is the author of the best selling “Guide to Stress Reduction.” Since 1977, he has offered Executive Coaching and Training.

Please visit the Stress Education Center’s website at http://www.dstress.com for articles, free blog, and learn about the new retreats & telecourses that are available. If you would like information or a targeted proposal for training or coaching, please contact us at (360) 593-3833.

Do Not Run With Chainsaws – Zen

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When we were young, we were told not to run with sharp objects like scissors or knives or broken glass. Why, because these items are dangerous. They are sharp and you could trip and fall and hurt yourself. So, D.R.W.C.

Chainsaws can be dangerous. They are sharp and many bad things can happen if you are careless (or make a mistake) when handling them. Running chainsaws are more dangerous than non-running chainsaws but you should still pay attention when carrying a non-running chainsaw. Take proper pre-cautions. Dress appropriately. Look carefully at your chainsawing environment and avoid tripping if you are carrying a running chainsaw.

I like chainsawing. It can be Zen like. Though chainsawing is not quiet or peaceful, it requires full attention, in the present moment. This need for being present makes it Zen like. People do risky, sometimes dangerous (or even foolish) things, to force themselves into paying attention to the “being in the present moment.” Some people go skiing on dangerous icy slopes, at the top of mountains, in the middle of Winter. Some people drive their cars faster than the speed limit signs suggest. Some people jump out of airplanes, for fun. Some people try to sell you insurance or investments (consider this statement to be a joke.) All of these activities require facing danger and can make you focus on the present moment. For me, running my chainsaw gets my adrenaline flowing and tells me that danger is close enough that I should really let go of thoughts/memories from the past or to not concern myself with fears of the future’s unknowns and to focus on being present. Not all people would feel the same way. Heck, I know people who do not like hard physical work. These people sometimes find that working up a sweat is just too much effort. Oh well, they will have to find their own way to achieve a Zen experience.

Once you clear the area of dangerous debris (so you won’t trip and fall) and you have got your chainsaw running, remember, D.R.W.C., Don’t Run With Chainsaws… But along the way, enjoy the experience and find your way into the present…

Zen on…