Life

Living as a human in our human world is a Miracle! You may not be fully conscious regarding the reason you are in your human life but there is a very complex reason and your human life is Perfect! We live our human lives with primitive 3 dimensional, ego-driven thinking. This fills our human lives with drama as we stumble about in our chosen incarnations. We get caught in being human and so we can miss the bigger perspective of 4th and 5th dimensional consciousness. This is the way it is supposed to be. If we were living as a human as a soul in the higher dimensions then we would not have to take our human limitations so seriously. (We would miss out on all the human drama and the lessons which go along with being human.) We would have acceptance and equanimity regarding the challenges we face on the human plane…

We are Perfect! We are so much more than our human minds can conceive of and understand. Life is a Miracle! Life is Amazing! In our human lives we are bumping up against challenges to learn from and to test our “learned” consciousness. When we actually stumble into higher consciousness, we have a higher perspective on what living as a human is all about. We are here to test our wisdom and to be of service to the other souls we bump into. These other souls are actually “us” in seemingly other forms (lives.) Yes, no matter who we interact with on the human plane in our human lives, we are dancing with ourselves in larger scheme of higher consciousness. So, we can be aware of this and ignore it or deny it or jump right in and attempt to be of service…

In the consciousness of the higher dimensions, we “know” that there is no such thing as death. Our spirits transition into other forms, perhaps into other human lives… There is no such thing as Time. Time is a construct of our human, “limited” consciousness, in an attempt to create something which does not exist, a linear representation for our 3 dimensional minds to attempt to grasp a human understanding of life on the Earth plane. In the higher dimensions we “know” that we are playing out multiple lives simultaneously. We are learning and testing our wisdom and expanding our consciousness in every moment, even if our human consciousness is in denial regarding these multiple, simultaneous realities. (Hey, even I am getting confused as I share these metaphysical concepts…)

Life, “What a concept,” and very complex. Life is perfect! We are not alone, ever… We are a part of the much larger Universal Divinity and Consciousness. Our limited human understanding is a testing ground for us. There are no accidents. Each moment offers a new challenge to expand our consciousness within. We are constantly expanding even if we re-experience our lessons in similar experiences and get to test our expanding conscious wisdom, even if this is an unconscious process (to our human minds). Gratitude and appreciation are higher levels of consciousness which we are moving toward as our human dramas play out. And, it makes this somewhat easier when we “know” that Death is NOT the enemy. If you want to explore this concept, consider reading or listen to or discussing experiences which Near Death Survivors have to present. This is a gift to raise our human consciousness.

A goal would be to never take our lives for granted but also do not take ourselves too seriously. In Spirit YOU are perfect! In Spirit, you are powerful! You are an important part of the larger Divine Spirit. And, YOU are here to serve! Yes, even if your service is to muddy the water and seemingly obstruct other human lives. Sometimes, “old Souls” come into human form for brief periods of human time to offer lessons to incarnated souls. These may include “short” lives which end in tragedy for the learning experience of other developing forms of human consciousness (other people.) As a human, we must learn and appreciate even the difficult challenges we encounter. After your human life survives a difficult challenge, you can be a role model of a “victim” or some other more conscious human form… No matter what, YOU are amazing! Thank you for being you! Thank you for choosing to incarnate and to serve on the human plane. (There are many Souls/Spirits who know we are Heroes for choosing to “show up” and play our roles as an incarnated human.)

You are Loved! You are a Blessing!

PS… Each Human baby who is born, is a Miracle! They are Amazing and Perfect! They are here to serve and to teach the humans they interact with. Even if they are incarnated for only a brief amount of human time, they have lived their purpose and they are manifested angels. They have chosen to incarnate and to mix it up with human drama and are appreciated for the efforts they have made. Honor and Love all Life Forms. Honor and Love every miraculous manifestation you encounter of the human plane. (If you were to stop and to consider every object is a miracle and a Divine manifestation…)

Thanks for reading!

Disclaimer: If you have not read many of these blog articles before, these are often coming up from intuition (“Guidance”) and seem to find form as a request from higher sources. Some body is supposed to be exposed to this string of words and thoughts to trigger some form of learning. Maybe that some body is YOU! No matter what, please continue growing in consciousness and sharing your story as a service to the people you bump into along your path… Thank you for being YOU!

Releasing My Connection

There comes a time when when you might become aware that you are not needing to be as connected to your human life as you have been earlier in your current incarnation. I am not talking about “giving up” on life. I am speaking about not being so tightly bound to living in your current human body.

I have been told that the Dalai Lama has a daily practice which he does 7 times per day. It is a meditation practice of being most aware as he transitions out of his current life. Being most fully aware at death seems to be a goal for high level Buddhists and something that they strive to achieve. I am not sure why or have any details, but the source of this information is someone I trust. Before you can prepare fully for high level awareness at death, you first have to: eliminate your fear of dying, be present, and be prepared to let go of your human life to be able to freely rejoin the Divine Spirit. (These are my thoughts.)

Many people have some consciousness regarding their approaching life transition. Some people go into fear or denial. Some people might look forward to this experience with an openness that seems highly conscious, to me. It is an inevitable transition and being conscious and perhaps better prepared seems like a good idea. Anyhow, it dawned on me the other day that my recent lack of “grounding” may be a kind of preparation for an end of life transition. Since I am over 70 years of age and I do not look to be an overly old, older person, this may be a bit of a wake up call. I am not sure I want to rehearse my conscious dying 7 times a day like de Dalai Lama but I may want to consider my mortality in an expanded light. Some people set longevity as a goal and want to live past 100 years. I am not one of these longevity goal setters. There is some longevity running in my family. My Father was 85 and my mother was almost 94 when they transitioned. Both these ages seem long enough, perhaps, even longer than I have in my mind for myself.

No matter what your thoughts are on this topic, I challenge you to live your passion and leave your current life without any regrets about the “could of’s” and “should of’s” in your life. Life is short so do not wait too long to do what you really want to do. A great life, to me, would have “No Regrets” when considering all of what your life has included and all that has been possible. And, take responsibility. You have choices and YOU make these decisions regarding how you live your life. When you came to your crossroads, you made your choice to follow the path which you headed down. Enjoy your life and find Joy everyday. Laugh out loud and love without limits or expectations. Find a way to serve your fellow travelers. And, keep your heart open to guidance and the Divine Spirit. When your time comes… go towards the light and the Unconditional Love of the Universal Divine. If you do not feel clear about what this is, consider reading several, if not many, accounts of NDE’s (Near Death Survivors.) Determine what “Feels” right for you in these various accounts. (Not your head (thoughts) but your Heart (Feelings.)) Live in the Wonderment of the amazing life you came here to experience.

You can also read another July, 2021 blog posting “When I Die” you can get a bit more background information. Perspective on Living and Legacy.

For your consideration, be aware of your personal expectations. I am not a fan of expectations and living with expectations laid on you externally or from your need to please someone else seems, to me, to be a dangerous minefield. For me, connecting with your inner guidance for what feels best for you seems a better choice. Then, take responsibility for whatever choice you have made.

Also I add, when someone seems too young to leave their lives, it may seem unfair or wrong in some way. Consider this possible perspective… These short-lived individuals may be “Old Souls” who came into this incarnation with the “agreement” to only be here, in their incarnation, for a relatively short amount of human time. But, Why? Possibly to assist in creating a learning opportunity for other humans who are helped on their path by experiencing the loss/death of this young individual. The brutal emotional lesson can jar those people involved in the lesson of human mortality, appreciating life, and even finding the Joy in a difficult, dark human experience. Personally, my life has been jarred and learning has happened when the lives of people I know seem to been “cut short.” Life is short. Live fully and find Joy…

Thank you for your time and consideration. You are Amazing. YOU are a Miracle! And, You are Blessed! You share the Light of Unconditional Love with All souls and You are an important piece of whole Divine Consciousness.

When I Die

When I Die, life will go on. My human life is important AND completely unimportant. When I Die, Life for some other humans will be changed and their lives will adapt to my human departure. Some people will take notice of my human transition more than most other people. But, will there be a lasting human legacy, foundationaly, laid while I lived this human life? And, does my legacy even matter? No, not really. We come to our lives, live our best, and move on beyond the human plane. BUT, how you/I choose to live does matter. We are role models. We have an important role in the drama of human life. And, everyone we interact with in our brief human lives has been changed, or their path was altered (slightly,) by our passing energy field. Some interactions cause change more than others. But, Divine Consciousness tells me, ALL are needed…

Live in vigilance regarding the “passing” role you fill in every soul you touch. Take responsibility for the possible altering of lives your existence can provide. Yes, you never really know your impact. (Few of us will become aware of the long term changes made by your interaction.) Yes, you would do well to live in integrity and be responsible for your interactions. And, you can not control the response of the people you interact with but you can do your very best…

When I Die, I will be in a “Better Place.” I “know” this. It is more than a mental opinion. This “knowing” of this comes from personal life experiences, research and reading of other people’s NDE’s, and a strong gut feeling when considering possible scenarios of post life transitioning. This knowing helps to drop the fear of death/dying and the fear of living most fully. This knowing also contributes to the belief that living is all about gaining human experiences, interacting with other souls, and contributing, where possible, to the advancement of consciousness within human relationships. Giving unconditionally your love and sharing wisdom, from life experience and your remembering of Divine Wisdom, is a huge part of what we came into our lives to offer. So, living authentically and with pureness of unconditional giving/sharing is our lasting legacy as role models. (Give without expectations…)

When I Die, there will be a void for some humans to fill or to learn from. This is unavoidable even if you have lived a solitary existence of low or non-contact. My friends and loved ones will learn to live their lives without me, in human form, and find wisdom from this learning. If my spiritual wish is fulfilled, they will share their experiences and new wisdoms. Perhaps they will become leaders or teachers or mentors to other souls that they bump into on their pilgrimage through their human lives. Perhaps, consciousness will be raised by their sharing of their perspectives. The cycle of life continues. The River of Life will continue to flow. And, Life lessons will continue to create the wisdom of life in the limitations of 3 dimensional thinking which creates our human dramas in the adventure travel called being a human.

I share these thoughts or knowings for your perspective. How do you feel about these words and the beliefs attached? I have no control of your reactions but these thoughts will trigger some agreement or argument. You must find YOUR own way through your human drama including your own death transition or the loss of people you care about.

We are all gonna die some day at the end of our current human lives. We can not avoid this. AND, this is not our enemy. A secret to Enlightenment is to live in Joy most fully. Be grateful for every day, for every experience (even the difficult ones,) and for every interaction. If you can find your way into being “present” and to not be stuck in your past or too anxious about your future, you will find the best ways to live in Joy. Consider that you NOT live for your legacy but live your life in integrity. Your spiritual legacy will take care of itself. Where possible extend Love.

Life is a Miracle! You are perfect, even with your self-perceived imperfections. (And, it does NOT matter what other people, with their expectations, think about your perfection.) Be authentic in your living. Follow your heart. Develop and then trust your intuition. AND, share your story as an important lesson/experience with the souls you touch. You are Loved!

Thank you for your time and consideration.

This blog was written after being “triggered” by the mortality of friends and family. Included is this ever increasing list is: the recent celebration of Life for our Grandma Nellie, my friend and mentor, Don Ley, and the health struggles of a wise mentor, Amari Magdalena. Certainly others have contributed including my Bride, Barbara. My own mortality is always in play and the new status of being a Grandpa contributes to my considerations.
“The Game is Afoot…” as has been said of many a human drama.

When Someone Dies Do You Bless Them

When someone close to you transitions out of their current Earth born lives do you bless them? Can you find Joy in their release from their Earthly Lives? This can be a very different way to celebrate in the “passing” of someone who you have cared about. So let me ask you again, can you find happiness for the soul who has headed into the Divine? We, who are “left” behind, have our grief and our loss to deal with. We have our mortality and our fears to consider. We have to find a way to the fill the void of our significant relationship’s absence. The unknown of life beyond our human existence can be a scary consideration unless you have had a NDE (Near Death Experience) or some form of an “Awakening” which allows you to know the undefinable freedom and unconditional love available in the Divine.

There have been moments since my wife transitioned (died, past away… from Ovarian Cancer) when I have even felt some envy because she is free and “in a better place” and I am still “stuck” in my earthly life. Stuck is not the correct word but I have had feelings of the possible relief one may feel when the limitations of the body and three dimensional living are “left behind.” When I was 19 years old, young, naive, and innocent, I was guided to have an experience of life beyond our normal human lives. Let’s call it Death. It was beautiful. I felt Unconditional Love, Acceptance, Freedom (no limitations of “time” and 3 dimensional space,) Access to Universal Wisdom, and Connection/Oneness. For me, at the time, I did not want to return to my body. I wanted to stay and to be enveloped in the Divine Spirit’s love and consciousness BUT (I was told) “it was NOT your Time” to know death for “there is still much for you to do.” So I grudgingly returned to my body and my life. That experience from long ago has not diminished in my awareness for the beauty and freedom so briefly “known.” Or, was it a knowledge or wisdom simply “remembered?…”

A part of me celebrates for the person’s soul/spirit when they “transition.” I know the pain and the vacuum created by the “loss” of a loved one or dear friend. But, these human sadnesses are born out of my selfish need for that lost source of love, friendship, or support. I must fill that void and move on with my loving memories of the departed relationship. (Easier said than done…) Normally, I do not chase envy or my own selfishness, so my seemingly inappropriate celebration for the transitioned spirit may seem less than the “normal” response. I do not want to take away from someone else emotional pain or to diminish their human need to feel their own sadness. We all must learn from our losses and the challenges these present mentally and emotionally. My hope is that we can move beyond our fear of death so we may live more consciously in the joy of life.

Sadness and grief are important learning experiences which humans are born to have. We can become more empathetic. Our consciousness grows from our humanness. We learn more about human Love when a source of human love is taken from us. And, the death of a “loved one” is one of the most important experiences we can have. Our sadness and grief are ours to create and to learn from. Appreciate all life and recognize the fragile miracle of life on our planet.

Everyone of us is unique and necessary. The birth of a new soul into our human life is a joy. The struggles in our lives is where we learn and test our divine learnings. Our final transitions from our human lives are a piece of the cycle of life and can be celebrated for the amazing experience which leads to higher consciousness and to our connection, without human limitations, to the Divine.

Different cultures are also unique and have different/unique traditions to honoring the final transition we all face. In my opinion, when we transition we all find our way to the Divine Spirit. And, if you have anxiety about this unknown which prevents you from most fully living, consider doing your research. Speak to a NDE survivor. Read or watch YouTube presentations from a variety of NDE survivors. If you find some resonance with these shared experiences it may lead you to remembering what this experience of transitioning from a human life is or what it can be…

(Note: I was questioned about the “why” and the “fairness” when a younger person or a child dies. I am not certain of all the specific reasons or value for this specific difficult situation, however, some wise, older souls may choose to “reincarnate” for a shorter lifetimes for the intense lessons of the people whom they come into contact with in their Earth born lives. They provide a “service” to those people who are left behind to deal with this challenging loss… Consider this and perhaps this may open doors for your consideration. I hope this does not create new painful emotional responses for you in your loss…)

Finally, when you are not too emotionally triggered by a loss of a loved one, consider the perspective that they are free and in the protection of the Divine Spirit. Perhaps, you can even celebrate and not be consumed by the fear or anxiety of the mortality we all face.

You are a Blessing! Thank you for being you.

Thanks for your time and consideration. Your insights and experiences are unique and a blessing, so please share these…

If you are READY and looking for a supportive community where you can share your story, your wisdom, and grow spiritually in a non-religious environment, consider Masters of the Journey.
You are a Blessing! You are a Master! Your wisdom from your life experience can have great value to other pilgrims on the path toward awakening and enlightenment.

The Masters of the Journey has events which are updated on our Facebook page which is found at: www.facebook.com/mastersofthejourney Please comment on this blog and share, if appropriate. More of our blogs are based on spiritual consciousness and can be found at www.dstress.com/blog

I Have a Terminal Case of Life

I was born with a terminal condition, my life! So were you! Have you prepared for your life ending transition?
Have you even thought about it? This awareness is not meant to be morbid or depressing. It is meant to be freeing and uplifting. Denial or closing your eyes to our ultimate transition does not serve you but can create an increase in anxiety and fear…

My transition will come from a heart attack or a stroke. My family history and my behavior leads me to that conclusion. No matter what I do to change this through prevention and behavioral changes, I will not out run death at some point. Hopefully, I will be conscious and NOT fearful. Perhaps, I can embrace this experience and the spiritual freedom which letting go of the physical body allows.

By the way, it is my belief that letting go of the fear and apprehension regarding this end of life transition, will allow me to more fully appreciate and enjoy the life left in this body. The message here is to be responsible and conscious regarding your living AND your dying.

As I near my eighth decade of living, life experiences allow me to accept the ultimate transition we all must face. The purpose is NOT to shake you up or throw you into depression. It is to offer you a chance to live your life more fully with no, or fewer, regrets near the end of this incarnation. Have YOU done everything you intended to do in this life?

What would you do differently if you knew your life would be coming to an end soon? Would you curl up in a ball? Would you get your affairs in order? Would you party like a rock star? Would look to make peace with family, friends, and the divine spirit? Who can know how you would respond, but perhaps it is worth the time to take stock in your life???

Some people will stop and add certain experiences to their lives. Not simply waiting for retirement to get on with living their desired lives. You may want to add more gratitude or generosity or acceptance to your habitual behaviors. You may want to stop and smell the roses, tell your family and friends you love and appreciate them, or you may want to express your creative side in ways not yet allowed. There is no “right way” to live or, in fact, no wrong way to live. You are “PERFECT” and your seeming flaws are a perfect way to learn the lessons you came here to this life to learn. If you have been guided to this message, you are supposed to consider these things or perhaps to reach out and share these concepts. No matter what, know that your life has been exactly the path you signed up to take as a journey of self-awareness, consciousness, and for your spiritual growth.

Acceptance of the transition we all must face is a “freeing” state of mind.

To talk about the preparations you might make for your final transition, consider attending a “Death Cafe” or similar event where people gather to share information which has been difficult, or even a taboo, in our culture. It may feel awkward, but this community can support you in many ways. Another awareness creating tool for you to explore ask you to do some research on people who have had near death experiences (NDE) like Eben Alexander’s, MD account described in his book, “Proof of Heaven: A Neurosurgeon’s Journey into the Afterlife” or Annie Kagan’s book, “The Afterlife of Billy Fingers.” There are many accounts which have been published and the research on NDE’s of Ken Ring and Raymond Moody (author of “Life after Life”) are available for you to get perspective on what the life ending transition can include. In my experience, this information can do a lot to take the anxiety and fear out of the “unknown” experience we all must face. There are also many video interviews on NDE (Near Death Experiences) available on YouTube.

Though you are “Terminal” you can benefit from knowledge and support. There may come a time when you consciously remember the expansion and freedom many people report from their NDE’s.

If you are READY and looking for a supportive community where you can share your story, your wisdom, and grow spiritually in a non-religious environment, consider Masters of the Journey.
You are a Blessing! You are a Master! Your wisdom from your life experience can have great value to other pilgrims on the path toward awakening and enlightenment.

The Masters of the Journey has events which are updated on our Facebook page which is found at: www.facebook.com/mastersofthejourney Please comment on this blog and share, if appropriate. More of our blogs are based on spiritual consciousness and can be found at www.dstress.com/blog

Coping with Grief and Loss – a Process

We all suffer from loss in our lives. Sometimes the loss relates to transitions through life that are normal and expected states of growth and development such as moving from childhood, through the teenage years, and then into the adult responsibilities that confront most people. Though this is a difficult transition, we must all face this if we live past our 18th birthday. There are more serious or traumatic losses that many of us encounter such as the death of close family member or friend, the loss of health due to accident or illness, the loss of an important relationship, or possibly the loss experienced with a career change or loss of a job. These are difficult times and hard lessons to experience in the course of life. These losses, though potentially painful, can be times of learning and personal growth. Many of these transitions can be less distracting and with a greater potential for learning if you have a positive support network. Here is the dilemma. Most people do not have a network of healthy, positive supporters to allow for movement through difficult transitions with grace and healing perspectives.

We can learn from our painful transitions and losses. We can wade through these changes more gracefully, and possibly with less discomfort, if we have the best team of support surrounding us. Some people look for professional counselors or coaches, or perhaps clergy to help with difficult transitions. Some of us have personal mentors who can be trusted and who have the necessary communication skills to assist in times of need. Some of us have healthy relationships, friends or family who can help without too much of their own “baggage.” Many people do not have enough access to the positive supporters who can help us through the grief that life throws at us.

There are many books and potential sources of information which help us to understand the process of dealing with loss and grief but for most people reading about the grief process is not enough. We need to be supported by a personalized experience that we can gather around us as we muddle our way through our emotional and spiritual pains of loss. We need to be “touched” by the proper support in many ways. We need to be allowed our grief and yet “called on it” when we have gone past the limit and start the “wallowing process.” We need to find the exact, personalized process to assist in managing the stress, anxiety, pain, confusion, and the “emptiness” of replacing the part of ourselves which has been lost with the more experienced and empowered person who has survived a major change/loss/growth… Do not miss the opportunity to build a support network of “healthy” and available people. You never know when a need will arise for this special support.

Each of us need to find the best way to learn our lesson and then to move on into our new, restructured life. We need to learn the best way to take care of ourselves, benefit from the lessons, and then discover the most appropriate directions to move our new life. To do this, we need to find people we can trust and invest the resources into the process of self-care and self-development so we can move down the path that leads to our goals. This is easier said than done, but if you realize that you would survive this transition more easily and possibly more quickly with positive assistance then you must do the work and find the correct support you require.

In the future, we will be expanding and releasing information regarding a new program which can assist most people in developing an individualized transition plan. We are beginning to build a process for creating a positive support network which will enable participants to discover their strengths, accept their weakness or flaws, and to free up energy to invest for moving toward positive goals and enhanced lifestyles. The working title for this process is “Finding Your Tone.”

Please comment or send questions to the Stress Education Center at wellness@dstress.com or visit the website at www.dstress.com.

Change Happens: Change & Transition Management

Life change is unavoidable. The pace of change has increased to a record rate with the latest innovations and information technologies. Our body’s primitive response mechanism has not been able to keep pace and we are living with “overwhelm” as a daily companion. We do not have time to adapt at a genetic level, so we must learn to use behavioral adaptations to survive and thrive.

Each of us is a unique person with our unique habitual response to stress. Some of us respond to stress with anger, frustration, rage, or fear. Some of us get “uptight” and hold tension in our jaws, necks, shoulders, backs, or legs. Some of us want to run away as a response. Sometimes we tighten our stomachs, hold our breath, feel our heart racing, our blood pressure may rise, or our hands and feet may get cold. Sometimes we withdraw as if we could hide from the dangers of newness of our transitions.

When we do not have any “control” over the transition and it is an “important” issue, then our stress levels increase. Our body responds, in the only way that it can, as if we were in a life or death situation. We must learn that in life’s interactions, the only thing that we can control is our response to the event. If this situation is important to us, it is best if we can have some input in the change process. We must understand our role and importance of our contribution to the larger picture. And finally, we must be meticulous with our self-care.

If stress comes from an unclear picture of what the transition entails and what our role in this transition will be, then we can respond with fear and resistance which can hurt the project and often our credibility. Communication with higher ups, peers, and the personnel we must manage is critical. Make sure everyone really understands their value, their role, and their contribution to the success of the project. Honesty is essential. Open conversations about the fears of the new or the grieving of the things that have had to change to make way for the new policy or procedure. Dealing with these issues will enroll the participants more successfully.

In a perfect world, there would be time to honor all of these necessary steps for positive transitions, but often the reality is less complete. We must develop strong, uncompromising habits for personal survival and self-care. This might include non-negotiable time for exercise and stress management practice. It would include patterns during stressful transitions where there is enough time for sleep/rest and proper nutrition. Simplify your expectations and distractions. It may not be the best time to take on new projects that would add to the stress like: remodeling the house, moving, new relationships, or large family or social commitments. In other words, use your best common sense and do not over do non-essential activities.

Consider using the following checklist of eight tools for managing major transitions more gracefully.
Tips for Surviving Change

1. Self-Care Daily! See and Use the suggestions from the Ten Timely Tips article (at “articles page” of www.dstress.com.) Self-care is the single most important ingredient to maintaining balance as you go through transitions and change. Proper diet, exercise, and regular relaxations will allow you to be more productive with a higher quality of life!

2. Communicate. Keep yourself from falling into the pitfalls of life by giving and getting feedback about every major concern (change/transition) you are dealing with. Remember, listening is the most important part of communicating. Ask for clarification, so you can make good decisions.

3. Planning… Be Prepared. A productive journey through life’s transitions can not occur gracefully without a plan. Long range goals can keep short-term setbacks from defeating you in major ways. Focus on your long term goals regularly to keep you focused and moving ahead. Plan in every area of life: Finance, self-care, education, relationship, emotional growth, creativity/aesthetic, and spiritual development.

4. Develop Positive Support Mechanisms. If you want to survive, in good health, you need to have proper feedback and support. The “Family” is not always the best place. Friends and professional counselors can sometimes be the best venue for honesty and appropriate support.

5. Develop Positive Rewards. Small and large rewards along your way help make motivation easier, especially with large, long-term goals. A real heartfelt pat on your own back with achieving a reward makes the difficulties easier to bear.

6. Use and Develop Your Humor! Positive Attitudes Really Help! Difficulties, when viewed as opportunities for growth and proving your abilities, are less harmful. But do not bury your anger, fear or sadness.

7. Deal with the Dilemma of Diversity! Every change throws you into a position of dealing with new people, teams, attitudes, emotional “stretches” and more new obstacles. Learning acceptance (through self-care) can help you to make the necessary adjustments and get along faster toward productivity and higher performance. There will always be a contrary attitude around, accept that other opinions exist and you are entitled to your own.

8. Maintain Balance in Your Life! Prioritize, acknowledge, celebrate, and follow through on every area of life, including your emotional and spiritual needs.

© L. John Mason, Ph.D. Stress Education Center and Dstress.com

L. John Mason, Ph.D. is the author of the best selling “Guide to Stress Reduction.” Since 1977, he has offered Executive Coaching and Training.

Please visit the Stress Education Center’s website at http://www.dstress.com for articles, free blog, and learn about the new courses that are available. If you would like information or a targeted proposal for training or coaching, please contact us at (360) 593-3833.

10 Steps to Manage Anger in the Workplace

1. Identify who is angry
Train your managers and employees to identify the behaviors that can signal an anger challenged co-worker and have a positive system that will report these behaviors to management for further investigation. Do not wait.

2. Identify why they are angry
Interview reporting staff to determine whether indications warrant further review. Interview subject to determine why they may be angry at work. Offer positive solutions for individual stress and anger control or refer to EAP if appropriate and available.

3. Find solutions to organizations’ culture as it pertains to anger
Do not stick your head in the sand. Tackle the possible organizational issues that may be creating the stress and anger within your organization and work to solve these challenges.

4. Train leaders to create a culture of civility
Leadership comes from the top down and must address the issues with resolve. If anger is inbred in an organization’s leaders this becomes a difficult but important concern. The costs of anger are too high, in the long run, for an organization to be most productive and long standing. Retention of key personnel becomes an issue, if the leadership creates a culture that tolerates, or encourages, anger in the work place. Legal issues will also become an issue that cuts profits and productivity.

5. Train managers to identify anger and manage teams/individuals with issues
Managers require training, support, and good leadership. Coaching or mentoring managers, especially new managers who have risen from technical backgrounds, becomes an essential ingredient for most successful organizations. This will also reduce turn-over, sabotage, and legal challenges.

6. Train employees to control their stress and anger appropriately
Give all of your employees the tools they need to manage their own individual stresses and anger. Do not assume that they will learn civility and self-management outside of work. Though this requires time, resources, and management attention, it will pay off in increased organizational productivity and employee loyalty.

7. Manage organizational stress and transition management
Learn how to manage your organizations transitions and help your executives and employees survive the stress at work. This will prevent problems and create an environment where positive performance can thrive.

8. Create an anger management program for individuals with clear goals
When someone has an identified anger management challenge, it may be a great management decision to assist your personnel with a anger management program rather than replacing these people or expecting and outside agency to fix your “problem.” Programs can be tailored for your specific requirements. Some have a 2 day seminar and individual coaching if individuals require additional support. Other organizations may have on-going, and mandatory, groups for people identified with anger challenges. External coaches or therapists are often hired for these programs so confidentiality does not become an issue in the work environment.

9. Take immediate action: Zero tolerance of anger and violence
Tolerating anger displays or violence is dangerous. It can send the wrong message and opening your organization up to harassment law suits. Leaders must be strong with this Zero Tolerance.

10. Offer ways to speak out safely about issues to prevent anger and violence (be open to creative solutions)
Create venues that allow people to be heard. Respect diversity of opinion. Create a safe way to express appropriate levels of stress and frustration. Always look to build a better environment and culture.
To implement these principles can require resolve and leadership. Many organizations require coaching and consulting to make these deep changes to their culture. The pay-off can be found in increased productivity, loyalty, and more creativity to problem solving.

L. John Mason, Ph.D. is the author of the best selling “Guide to Stress Reduction.” Since 1977, he has offered Success & Executive Coaching and Training.

Please visit the Stress Education Center’s website at Stress, Stress Management, Coaching, and Training for articles, free newsletter signup, and learn about the new telecourses that are available. If you would like information or a targeted proposal for training or coaching, please contact us at (360) 593-3833.

If you are looking to promote your training or coaching career, please investigate the Professional Stress Management Training and Certification Program for a secondary source of income or as career path.