Category Archives: Stress Management

10 Tips to Survive the Holidays

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    10 Tips to Survive the Holidaze

The Holidays are more stressful and overwhelming, now.
Do you want to be happier and healthier this holiday season?
Would you like to enjoy the holidays more?

This article is devoted to Holiday Stress Survival Tips to improve quality of life through the holidays.
This holiday season will be stress filled. World economic swings and terrorism have created conditions that have changed our holiday celebrations. Attitudes towards travel, being with family, celebration in the face of fear and sadness, will make this year’s holiday season different than in years past. Adjustments will help to create new ways of participating in the holiday events. These can be both positive and negative. Consider new traditions in self-care. Search for community support that will open your heart to the joys that are possible in this season.

Remember the things that are the most stressful are the things that you care the most about, but have the least control over. World events, the economy, the way people respond, and our families (and children) are major stressors that we wish we could control, but often can not.

1. Schedule Time for Self-Care!
Regular exercise and time for stress management are a must. Find what techniques work best for you, and use these tools. This is non-negotiable time devoted for your health and well being.

2. Eat Well
Moderation is the key. Do not use alcohol or drugs for stress management. Do not “over” celebrate. Avoid fast foods.

3. Avoid Caffeine
Minimize the impact of caffeine on your life.

4. Plan the Holiday… Set some limits
Do not over spend your financial and emotional resources.

5. Control Your Expectations of:
Happiness, Joy, Sadness, and Loneliness

6. Be Nice to Others
Give compliments and smile. Around negative, anxious, or rude people, take a breath and remember that you do not need to get pulled into other people’s holiday misery or their craziness.

7. Reach Out for Support
Talk with “stable” friends or family, or clergy, or mental health counselors.

8. Humor Helps… Have Fun
Laugh daily, if possible.

9. Stay in the Present!
Mentally and emotionally, do not be consumed by things that happened in the past or fear events in the future. Enjoy the people you are with and make the very best of the situation that you are in.

10. Find the True Spirit of the Holidays

Share this with those people who you love or care about. Contact us with your questions or comments.
Please take good care of yourself.

L. John Mason, Ph.D. is the author of the best selling “Guide to Stress Reduction.” Since 1977, he has offered Executive Coaching and Training.

Please visit the Stress Education Center’s website at http://www.dstress.com for articles, free ezine signup, and learn about the new telecourses that are available.

If you are looking to promote your training or coaching career, please investigate the Professional Stress Management Training and Certification Program for a secondary source of income or as career path.

The Secret to Finding Balance in Life

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There are major areas in your life that when left unattended can lead to a lack of balance and prevent you from full life satisfaction. You can be a victim to a lack of awareness regarding these areas and suffer from physical or emotional symptoms including anxiety, depression, headaches, pain, abdominal complaints, and reduce productivity (due to unconscious distractions.) With awareness and action you can use your new balance to be more productive, prosperous and healthy.

Find the 8 essential areas of your life and learn to honor the ones that you do not make time for in your life. This will help to re-prioritize your life and give you greater balance as you pursue your long term goals and aspirations. The 8 essential life areas include: career, finance, family, friends/relationships, education/life long learning, health, creativity/aesthetic, and honoring the spirit. If you do not have a plan for honoring each of these 8 areas then you may not have balance and may have to fight to sustain emotional and physical health and well-being.

The first two areas are obvious and many people spend time and energy working to fulfill these areas. Career relates to your work and the satisfaction that you may achieve through being productive. Many people need to address their work/career if they find themselves under-satisfied by the job that they are employed to do. Training and mentoring can lead to more appropriate career paths. Finance includes current and future plans for financial stability and security. Long term planning is required and impulse control is necessary to help maintain your long-term planning until you achieve your financial goals. There is a great deal of support regarding these two areas and so society tends to focus on these areas but these do always provide life balance or satisfaction by themselves.

“Family” is an area that relates to the closest relationships that we have. The importance of having close ties to your family can vary a lot. Some people require large amounts of contact with parents, siblings, and children. If this were true for you, you have to make time to maintain these relationships. Some people are not as connected or attached to these close family relationships and so they may require less time and attention to maintain their balance. Career and other life distractions can move this area to a seemingly lower priority but this can be a huge mistake and in some cultures, family, is the highest priority. This support is very important and should not be shuffled to lower priorities. If you neglect this area, you may suffer emotionally and physically. Remember that “quality” of time with family is more important than quantity. Do not miss your opportunities for good, close connections even if your schedule is an issue.

“Friends/Relationships” like family are important, but individual needs vary. Time with chosen, “healthy” friends is important. This support both giving and receiving is critical for most humans. These are relationships that can be as intimate as husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, or intense coupling that seems born into our genetic code. When your life is tested by change or tragedy, close, healthy friends and relationships can be critical. Time in your life may need to be allocated to find, build, and maintain these relationships. We all have different levels of needs. Remember that the quality of these contacts is more important than quantity, though people with need for drama in their lives may want to argue about the need to quantity of time for relationships.

“Life-long learning” is the pursuit of knowledge or wisdom that allows you to move forward in your life. Sometimes it is specific to career development but it can also relate to information that can allow for better decision making or following a passion in your life. To not expand your knowledge can lead to a weakening of memory. Studies have proven that an active mind is less likely to suffer of the early onset challenges like dementia. Life is more interesting when you challenge yourself to expand consciousness and information.

“Health” is a “no-brainer” when it comes to balance and life satisfaction. Investing time and energy in keeping fit and eating “right” is an individual but necessary requirement for the most productive life. Bad habits can, and should, be changed, either reduced or eliminated. Substance abuse is a very temporary distraction from pain or anxiety (fear-anger) and does not offer long-term solutions but can lead to long-term impairments. Challenges can “run” in families but this is no excuse for caving in as a victim to poor health. Time spent on health and wellness actually saves you time and money, in the long run. Companies who tract wellness programs often find a cost benefit of $5, or more, for every $1 spent on wellness. This is true for the quality of your life and even your levels of productivity. DO NOT USE “no time” as an excuse. You will save time by practicing stress management, getting regular exercise, and eating better.

“Creativity and Aesthetic” pursuits are not simply producing arts and crafts. Not everyone has talent for this type of creative endeavor. Everyone does have an appreciation for some form of art or natural beauty and we must invest resources in finding the activities that touch your aesthetic needs. Maybe a hike or trip to a museum will meet your requirements and give you balance. Planning a once a month visit to experience a beautiful natural environment or man-made work of art, or going to a performance, or listening to uplifting music can all qualify for creating satisfaction in this area. Being distracted by TV, video games, or movies may not be enough… Exploring your requirements for quality aesthetic exposure is important and is often ignored, with poor long-term results in life satisfaction.

Finally, “Honoring the Spirit” is an area that requires attention. There may be an over-lap with attending to aesthetic or creative pursuits because pursuing the spiritual requirements may have more to do with feeling good in your heart than chasing a philosophy. So religion or religious pursuits do not always involve the true celebration of spirit. Religion can be cerebral or political in ways that may feed the mind but not always the soul/spirit. Do not take this area lightly. When you do not know how to nourish your true spirit you run the risk of having fears and anxieties about important transitions like death/dying, parenting, or aging that when left unresolved can lead to serious emotional imbalance. Everyone has different requirements for honoring or celebrating spirit. Do not fall into the trap of taking on someone else’s belief. FIND YOUR OWN PATH.

If you are unclear how to pursue engaging in any of these areas in your own life, consider finding a mentor or life coach who you can trust to assist you at examining the specific needs you may have in your unique situation and life. If you need assistance, consider the Stress Education Center for this life coaching (www.dstress.com.) But remember, honor your own needs and find a way to incorporate these areas into your life. Life satisfaction may be the biggest and best reward. Take good care of yourself.

Controlling Anxiety: Techniques That Can Help

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Anxiety can stop you in your tracks. The physical and emotional sensations of anxiety and fear grab your energy, your attention, and rob you of the quality of life you deserve. Anxiety can manifest physically in many ways including: chest pain, racing heart/pulse, upset stomach (poor digestion,) rapid breathing, increased blood pressure, sweating, cold hands and feet, neck/back pain, loss of concentration, feelings of extreme fear and possibly thoughts of heart problems. Prolonged anxiety and fear can lead to depression, loss of energy, and desperation that you may want to “escape.” People “escape” by self-medicating with alcohol, medications, drugs, food, and other possibly risky behaviors. (Many people who have substance abuse challenges are suffering from under controlled anxiety which can lead to abuse and dependence on medications or illegal substances.)

Feeling “out of control” is a common description of the physical and emotional state of anxiety. Getting back in control of body and mind is the desired result. People who have the motivation to get back in control can benefit from some basic information and the willingness to do some work to create awareness regarding the personal manifestations of anxiety and then learning the ways to control it to minimize, if not eliminate, the anxiety.

Awareness is half the battle. If you are aware of the the way your body responds when you start to experience anxiety and how your body’s “flight/fight response” generates this habituated pattern will be a huge start. Reading articles about the “flight/Fight response” (also known as the physiology of stress) will show you how your primitive survival mechanisms can get out of control in your response to life’s stressors so triggering the anxiety response. Every one of the physical and emotional manifestations can be reduced and controlled, but fear can intensify these sensations for the suffers of anxiety. Medications for anxiety are designed to reverse these physical symptoms but do not offer good tools for prevention or for a sense of personal control over these complaints. You can beat this!

The second part of the anxiety control program is to learn how to physically and emotionally relax leading to personal control over the anxiety response. This requires dedication and practice. Most people will require 8-12 weeks of regular daily practice to begin to turn the corner on the habituated fears and physical symptoms of anxiety. For example, learning to go opposite the anxiety response by learning to slow your heart rate and to warm your hands/feet (by improving blood flow through relaxed, dialated blood vessels) requires the focus on “letting go,” slowing your mind, and imagining the warming (or pulse) into your extremities (fingers/toes.) You can learn to do this! More information about how to do this and the technique of temperature training biofeedback can assist you and can be found on the “Articles” page at the Stress Education Center’s website www.dstress.com.

With practice and some mastery of your stress/anxiety response, the next step can include a “desensitization” to any anxiety invoking stimuli. Yes, even the fear of public speaking or flying can be reduced and controlled. For this, you may want a coach or counselor to assist you but the principles are simple, but powerful. The following through will help you to beat your anxiety and then give you back the control over your body and your life.

Contact the Stress Education Center if you want more information and coaching on how to make this personalized for your specific requirements. Please take good care of yourself. AND, remember, you can beat anxiety! I hope that you find the very best anxiety control program which matches you with the most effective anxiety control techniques. It is worth the effort!

10 Tips for Stress Management

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These tips are at the core of my 1 day stress management program. Contact me if you have any questions regarding stress reduction coaching through the Stress Education Center’s website at www.dstress.com

Tip #1 Take 40 Deep Slow Diaphragmatic Breaths Each Day (Spread evenly throughout your day not all at once at the end of the day or you might hyperventilate. Try for one every 20 minutes.) You can benefit from associating the deep breaths with some common work occurrence such as the telephone ringing or clock watching. Try this! Though very simple to do, it is a very powerful stress management strategy.

Tip #2 Use Regular Relaxation Periods for Work Breaks. Try fifteen to twenty minute periods of (hopefully) undisturbed time away from phone and/or family. Commit to using this for four to six weeks to begin to see the benefits. If you would like some guidance in developing your stress management skills consider finding an appropriate audio program that is targeted for your specific interest. You will be surprised to find that this will save you time and energy. You will get more done in less time if you are not distracted by internalized stress. Autogenic Training Phrases, Progressive Relaxations, Meditations, or Visualization/Imagery relaxations are recommended. Find the one that works best for you.

Tip #3 Get Regular Exercise. Aerobic activities such as walking, jogging, swimming, biking, etc. for 20 minutes 3 times per week is minimum. Recommended is 30 minutes or more, 4-6 times per week. But do not hurt yourself!

Tip #4 Eat Sensibly. Avoid Caffeine. Do Not Cope With Stress by Using Alcohol or Drugs. If you are stressed out, caffeine is like throwing gasoline on a fire to put it out! The secret is moderation and common-sense.

Tip #5 Get Focused on New Directions and Regular Planning. Give yourself positive options if you feel trapped. Plan for growth in all aspects of your life; not just work and finance (family/relationships, spiritual interests, creativity, vacations, hobbies, etc).

Tip #6 Use and Develop Your Humor! Positive Attitudes Really Help! Difficulties, when viewed as opportunities for growth and proving your abilities, are less harmful. Do not bury your anger, fear or sadness.

Tip #7 Protect Yourself From Negative Co-Workers and Relationships! Do not get caught up in other people negative thinking or let them rip off your peace of mind and positive energy. Take good care of yourself!!

Tip #8 Get Back In Control! If you cannot control all the people and situations that happen around you…. at least you can control the way you respond! Being “out of control” is one of the main sensations that indicate that the stress in your life is a problem.

Tip #9 Give Sincere Compliments Freely and Smile! Be positive and let it shine on all that surround you. It will come back many times more.

Tip #10 Learn to Really Listen! It is the best communication technique that you can develop!

More coaching and tips are available at www.dstress.com

Sleep Better Now !

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18% of American adults complain to their doctors that they are tired and can not get enough “quality” sleep. Over 50% of the population has occasional problems: getting to sleep, staying asleep, or feeling rested upon awakening. Sleep medication is a best selling product. Tired workers make mistakes, get injured, and have accidents. We have a tired, maybe “sleepy” population. There are some simple but powerful things that you can do to minimize insomnia in your life.

Here is a great technique which is very relaxing. Especially useful if you have difficulty getting to sleep or you awaken during the night.

50 to 1 Countdown

As the name implies you count backward from 50 down to 1. The difference is that you count “1,2,3” between every number. So the counting goes: 50, 1,2,3, 49, 1,2,3, 48, 1,2,3, 47, 1,2,3, 46, 1,2,3,…… etc.
Your mind will be busy with these numbers and then get bored with the counting so that it will go to sleep (or back to sleep.) With an even pace this takes about 3 minutes to get down to 1, if you get that far. Some people can get to 1, but the second time through this counting they usually drift off.

This breathing/counting technique can be combined with a few simple changes that will compliment to effectiveness of this exercise.

• 1. Reduce, or better still, eliminate caffeine, even that one cup in the mourning. Many people are sensitive to caffeine, even a small amount. De-caf is an alternative.
• 2. Regular exercise will help, but not just before bedtime. Give it at least an hour, better 2, before bed.
• 3. Do not eat a big meal with 2 hours of bedtime, because this can get in the way of good sleep.
• 4. If all else fails, consider getting, and using, a guided relaxation on CD to help you to relax and to fall asleep. You will also benefit from a better quality of sleep.Try this. It can really work well for you.Please take good care of yourself.

L. John Mason, Ph.D. is the author of the best selling “Guide to Stress Reduction.” Since 1977, he has offered Executive Coaching and Training. www.dstress.com

Please visit the Stress Education Center’s website for articles, free ezine signup, and learn about the new telecourses that are available. If you would like information or a targeted proposal for training or coaching, please contact us at (360) 593-3833.

Coping with Grief and Loss – a Process

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We all suffer from loss in our lives. Sometimes the loss relates to transitions through life that are normal and expected states of growth and development such as moving from childhood, through the teenage years, and then into the adult responsibilities that confront most people. Though this is a difficult transition, we must all face this if we live past our 18th birthday. There are more serious or traumatic losses that many of us encounter such as the death of close family member or friend, the loss of health due to accident or illness, the loss of an important relationship, or possibly the loss experienced with a career change or loss of a job. These are difficult times and hard lessons to experience in the course of life. These losses, though potentially painful, can be times of learning and personal growth. Many of these transitions can be less distracting and with a greater potential for learning if you have a positive support network. Here is the dilemma. Most people do not have a network of healthy, positive supporters to allow for movement through difficult transitions with grace and healing perspectives.

We can learn from our painful transitions and losses. We can wade through these changes more gracefully, and possibly with less discomfort, if we have the best team of support surrounding us. Some people look for professional counselors or coaches, or perhaps clergy to help with difficult transitions. Some of us have personal mentors who can be trusted and who have the necessary communication skills to assist in times of need. Some of us have healthy relationships, friends or family who can help without too much of their own “baggage.” Many people do not have enough access to the positive supporters who can help us through the grief that life throws at us.

There are many books and potential sources of information which help us to understand the process of dealing with loss and grief but for most people reading about the grief process is not enough. We need to be supported by a personalized experience that we can gather around us as we muddle our way through our emotional and spiritual pains of loss. We need to be “touched” by the proper support in many ways. We need to be allowed our grief and yet “called on it” when we have gone past the limit and start the “wallowing process.” We need to find the exact, personalized process to assist in managing the stress, anxiety, pain, confusion, and the “emptiness” of replacing the part of ourselves which has been lost with the more experienced and empowered person who has survived a major change/loss/growth…

Each of us need to find the best way to learn our lesson and then to move on into our new, restructured life. We need to learn the best way to take care of ourselves, benefit from the lessons, and then discover the most appropriate directions to move our new life. To do this, we need to find people we can trust and invest the resources into the process of self-care and self-development so we can move down the path that leads to our goals. This is easier said than done, but if you realize that you would survive this transition more easily and possibly more quickly with positive assistance then you must do the work and find the correct support you require.

In the future, we will be expanding and releasing information regarding a new program which can assist most people in developing an individualized transition plan. We are beginning to build a process for creating a positive support network which will enable participants to discover their strengths, accept their weakness or flaws, and to free up energy to invest for moving toward positive goals and enhanced lifestyles. The working title for this process is “Finding Your Tone.”

Please comment or send questions to the Stress Education Center at wellness@dstress.com or visit the website at www.dstress.com.

Are Relationships Stressful?

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Most relationships require time and attention and this can prove stressful. For relationships to work, they require maintenance and energy. If these are in short supply then you can experience stress. The very nature of forming a good and healthy relationship is different for every person and every relationship. A secret that many people have to learn is about timing. An attractive relationship will not get off the ground unless the timing of attraction is good. As an example, think about any relationship you have pursued. If it worked out, both sides were available and ready. This is good timing. If only one side of the attraction is available, it can be very difficult, if not impossible, for it to work out.

Relationships have a wide range of possibilities. They can be romantic relationships or friendship relationships or business relationships or therapeutic relationships or possibly all of these. Most people require relationships at some point in their lives. Many people are raised without positive role models of healthy relationships and no matter how many TV shows or movies, or even books you read, you may not come across good relationship examples. Sometimes you have to use trial and error to figure this out and it is greatly complicated by the complex personalities of the people we attempt to have relationships with. By the way, relationships continue to evolve and change as the participants learn and grow. Your strong, but flexible, motivation may be a useful tool in maintaining relationships.

Some people are very traditional and have very strong inflexible values. Unless they hook up with the “right” situation in the first place, their relationship may prove difficult or fall apart over time. So knowing about yourself and your values can be a great start to developing stronger relationships. Controlling your expectations of changing your partner is a very useful consideration. If you do not like (and accept) the person in front of you but you see “real potential” then you may be doomed to the pain of watching their “unfilled potential” as they veer in a different than expected direction. “Expectations screw things up!” It is good to have a list of important qualities that you are seeking in a potential relationship before you begin to pursue the challenge of finding and then developing a relationship, especially if this is an important relationship for you. Ask yourself what you really need and do not accept less. What you want, may offer some flexibility.

A lasting relationship requires your loyalty and trust. If the timing is not right, one side or the other may move in directions that are less loyal and trustworthy. (And, “mid-life crisis” type personal changes can wreck certain relationships.)

Remember to take GOOD care of yourself. Because if your “light goes out” you run the risk of losing the attraction you have to your partner. It sometimes feels selfish to take care of yourself but this is essential to your own well-being, on many levels, and to your relationship. Continue your self exploration and growth. A healthy relationship can weather the storm your personal change and development may bring.

For many people in relationships good communication is hard work but necessary. Honesty with yourself and your partner, from the beginning, builds the best foundations for long term success.

Relationships can be the most stressful thing that you experience but they can also be the most rewarding. Ask most parents about their children. Without connection, shared love, and the deep bonding of relationships, most of us would not have the depth of purpose that create the most important lesson we have to learn from in this life.
Learn on….

If you require an assessment to learn more about your style or your values or your attitudes contact the Stress Education Center at www.dstress.com to get the assessments and the coaching that can make you more successful. This can be used for personal relationships and is also very helpful with key teams and management groups.

10 Steps to Manage Anger in the Workplace

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1. Identify who is angry
Train your managers and employees to identify the behaviors that can signal an anger challenged co-worker and have a positive system that will report these behaviors to management for further investigation. Do not wait.

2. Identify why they are angry
Interview reporting staff to determine whether indications warrant further review. Interview subject to determine why they may be angry at work. Offer positive solutions for individual stress and anger control or refer to EAP if appropriate and available.

3. Find solutions to organizations’ culture as it pertains to anger
Do not stick your head in the sand. Tackle the possible organizational issues that may be creating the stress and anger within your organization and work to solve these challenges.

4. Train leaders to create a culture of civility
Leadership comes from the top down and must address the issues with resolve. If anger is inbred in an organization’s leaders this becomes a difficult but important concern. The costs of anger are too high, in the long run, for an organization to be most productive and long standing. Retention of key personnel becomes an issue, if the leadership creates a culture that tolerates, or encourages, anger in the work place. Legal issues will also become an issue that cuts profits and productivity.

5. Train managers to identify anger and manage teams/individuals with issues
Managers require training, support, and good leadership. Coaching or mentoring managers, especially new managers who have risen from technical backgrounds, becomes an essential ingredient for most successful organizations. This will also reduce turn-over, sabotage, and legal challenges.

6. Train employees to control their stress and anger appropriately
Give all of your employees the tools they need to manage their own individual stresses and anger. Do not assume that they will learn civility and self-management outside of work. Though this requires time, resources, and management attention, it will pay off in increased organizational productivity and employee loyalty.

7. Manage organizational stress and transition management
Learn how to manage your organizations transitions and help your executives and employees survive the stress at work. This will prevent problems and create an environment where positive performance can thrive.

8. Create an anger management program for individuals with clear goals
When someone has an identified anger management challenge, it may be a great management decision to assist your personnel with a anger management program rather than replacing these people or expecting and outside agency to fix your “problem.” Programs can be tailored for your specific requirements. Some have a 2 day seminar and individual coaching if individuals require additional support. Other organizations may have on-going, and mandatory, groups for people identified with anger challenges. External coaches or therapists are often hired for these programs so confidentiality does not become an issue in the work environment.

9. Take immediate action: Zero tolerance of anger and violence
Tolerating anger displays or violence is dangerous. It can send the wrong message and opening your organization up to harassment law suits. Leaders must be strong with this Zero Tolerance.

10. Offer ways to speak out safely about issues to prevent anger and violence (be open to creative solutions)
Create venues that allow people to be heard. Respect diversity of opinion. Create a safe way to express appropriate levels of stress and frustration. Always look to build a better environment and culture.
To implement these principles can require resolve and leadership. Many organizations require coaching and consulting to make these deep changes to their culture. The pay-off can be found in increased productivity, loyalty, and more creativity to problem solving.

L. John Mason, Ph.D. is the author of the best selling “Guide to Stress Reduction.” Since 1977, he has offered Success & Executive Coaching and Training.

Please visit the Stress Education Center’s website at Stress, Stress Management, Coaching, and Training for articles, free newsletter signup, and learn about the new telecourses that are available. If you would like information or a targeted proposal for training or coaching, please contact us at (360) 593-3833.

If you are looking to promote your training or coaching career, please investigate the Professional Stress Management Training and Certification Program for a secondary source of income or as career path.

Autogenic Training: Try It, You May Like the Results

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Have you heard about Autogenic Training as a stress management or anxiety control technique? If you haven’t, you should look into it. Since I learned this stress management technique in 1977, I have been using it, with great results, for my relaxation practice.

Autogenic Training was first developed in 1928 in Germany. There has been a lot of research regarding the success of using Autogenic Training Phrases with stress/anxiety related disorders like: panic/anxiety, high blood pressure, migraine headaches, GI disorders, chronic pain, and many other health challenges that are created or made worse by stress. Most of the research and reports are written in French or German so for English speakers this technique may be less familiar. I learned about Autogenics while in training for my career in biofeedback in 1977 and have been using this technique as my personal stress management strategy ever since. It took 6-8 weeks of regular (daily) use for me to get the higher levels of benefit. The skills of relaxation and awareness require at least this amount of practice no matter which stress management technique you try…. so be patient.

Autogenic Training requires that you repeat 6 basic phrases until you feel the desired results. With practice this can be abbreviated into a much shorter period of time. Now, it takes me only about 5 minutes of repeating the phrases to get to the level of relaxation that I desire. This leaves me 10-15 minutes to enjoy the state of deep relaxation in my 15-20 minute relaxation/meditation period. The positive effects of this relaxation generally last for the whole day, at this stage of my life. The 6 basic phrases include:

Begin with a mood phrase to ‘get you in the mood to relax’ by slowly repeating… “I am at peace with myself and fully relaxed.” (Eventually, this phrase will trigger a lot of the relaxation.

1. “My right arm is heavy” (repeated at least 3 times or longer until you can feel your muscles start to relax.) Then change to, “My left arm is heavy” (repeated 3 or more times.) Then relax your legs as you repeat, “My right leg is heavy” repeat 3 or more times. Then switch to, “My left leg is heavy” repeated. Finally, repeat “My neck and shoulders are heavy.” The arms will usually be easier to relax than your legs. The neck and shoulders are generally more difficult for most people and may take as long as 6-12 weeks of practice before you get them to relax.

2. Repeat, “My right arm is warm” (repeated at least 3 or more times to allow the warmth of blood to flow more freely down your arm into your hand and fingers.) Change to, “My left arm is warm” and repeat until you feel warmth or a pulse or a tingling feeling in your hands. Then say, “My right leg is warm” and repeat. Then, “My left leg is warm” repeat. Finally, repeat, “My neck and shoulders are warm” repeat, though this may require many practice sessions.

3. The next phrase to repeat is “My heart beat is calm and regular” repeated to slow your heart rate.

4. Next phrase is “My breathing is calm and regular” repeated slowly.

5. Then say, “My stomach region is warm and calm” and repeat to relax your abdomen.

6. Last phrase to relax the muscles of your head and face is “My forehead is cool and calm” repeated until your forehead and jaw can start to relax.

The return phrase to repeat at the end is, “I am refreshed and alert” repeated and with taking a deep breath.
I will usually say the 6 relaxation phrases and then sit quietly to enjoy the relaxation before I awaken with the “return” phrase. Also, combining these phrases with temperature training biofeedback makes for powerful step before beginning an anxiety control visualization or a desensitization process.

Give it a try. I have seen this technique work very well with many people who could benefit from stress and anxiety management.

More information available on the “articles” page of the Stress Education Center’s website at www.dstress.com.

Back to School

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Its Almost Time for Fall

Today, I am shopping for school supplies for my “little brother,” Mr. Ethan. Ethan is now 13 years old and is entering 8th grade. He has been my “little brother” for almost 4 years. We have had this school supply ritual for the past 4 years as we prepare for another school year. We both feel the optimism of the fresh start and have hopes for a school year filled with success. There are many memories of school preparation that I recall from my own student years and the years of raising my 2 sons. I remember battling with my father to squeeze 6 or 7 dollars worth of new school supplies out of him. It was the only nightmarish part of returning to school. My sons and Mr. Ethan do not have difficult memories of getting my support for their academic experiences.

In the United States, the school year usually begins at the end of the Summer months and in the beginning of the Fall season. There is a lot of history for me of major life transitions at this time of year. Besides school starts, I remember that my mother passed away on September 10th, the night before 9/11 in 2001. I have experienced relationships begin or end in the Fall. I remember jobs starting in the Fall. I remember moving and travels and my birthdays and many other significant experiences that historically have happened to me in September and October. To be honest, I have mixed feelings regarding the period that transitions from the end of Summer into the Fall seasons. Everyone has these anniversaries than can affect the emotional sensitivities of certain dates or of specific times of the year. Every year my wife asked me about how I am doing with my emotional survival at this time of the year because she has had to weather some tough Fall seasons with me in the 29 years we had together.

Don’t get me wrong. I love Fall. I love the change of weather and the days growing shorter. I love the football season and the World Series. The changing colors of the leaves and the crispness in the early morning air are things that I celebrate. And yet, after living for 60 years+, I have ambivalence about what life may bring in these coming months.

I challenge you to reflect on your own memories and feelings about the changes of these seasons. Perhaps, for you, there are other times on the calendar that inspire you emotionally and historically as Fall challenges me. If nothing else, if you live in the Northern Hemisphere remember to begin to prepare. Gather fire wood. Harvest nuts for the Winter. Make your nest safe for coming cool and wet months. And, as always, gather your family and friends for a chance to enjoy the fading warmth and light as the seasons change.

If you live in the Southern Hemisphere, forget all this maudlin drivel and get ready to celebrate Spring and your warm lazy days of Summer…. There is always a different perspective to embrace.

Take good care of yourself. If you require support or assistance with stress or anxiety consider contacting the Stress Education Center for coaching or group trainings at www.dstress.com and send your emotional blessings to my “Little Brother,” Ethan, as he embarks on his fresh academic start.