Category Archives: spirit

The Art of Being Present

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What is the advantage in being Present? How do you achieve the state of Presence? In moving along your path in life, when should you strive for “being fully in the Moment?”

Have you ever had the telephone conversation or the face to face meeting with another person who was clearly “somewhere else” and not tracking your communication? In our busy world, this happens all the time. You have to repeat yourself or you feel insecure that you were not fully heard or understood. You have to question your communication partner to “check in” and to know that they were not so distracted that they did not receive your important communication. People clearly have a great deal on their mind and they are being torn away by the invasion of of text messages or other manifestations of interrupting technology. We are so “plugged in” that it is difficult to invest fully in the conversation with the person in front of you or on the other end of the telephone. A client may not feel fully connected with you if you are lost in another thought and this may cause a transaction to go poorly. Your friend or family member may get frustrated with your lack of focus and may lash out at you in frustration. These situations happen all to frequently. Many people do not have the awareness, and then the control, to be able to quiet the distractions and really focus on the present moment and this is sad.

Missing the moment that will never come again is a loss that you can not ever recover!  There are times when you can multi-task but human interaction is very important and should not be short changed by your distracted and disrespectful pursuit of multiple thoughts or activities. Remember when this happened to you and how you felt this lack of respect and consideration! If for no other reason, you will miss out on the most joyful and satisfying moments in life if you are not present!

Achieving the state of “Presence” requires that you reduce internal and, if possible, external distractions. Begin by NOT thinking of your answer or response before your communication partner finishes their statement. Listen! Listen with ALL of your senses. If you require clarification, ask supportive “open ended questions.” Make eye contact. It is rude to not focus your vision upon the person who is speaking. If possible, feel the emotion of what is being said. Use your intuition to read “between the lines.” There are many times when you may need to clear your mind and relax your body to reduce internal distractions and this may benefit from learning how to meditate and to find yourself in the present moment. If you can be present, you will be happier and healthier. Your relationships can improve. You can find interpersonal success more easily.

Being fully present can become more a positive habit if you practice and learn more about what is distracting to you, AND, learn to let this go. Remember, that the respect you show in listening and interacting can be beneficial for personal learning and will improve your relationships. It will even SAVE YOU TIME in the long run. Try it and see for yourself.

If you manage other people or want positive outcomes with your family, learning to be fully present is a mandatory skill and life enhancing experience.

Blessings to you on your path and watch most carefully each foot step on your journey toward consciousness.

More information and support can be found at: www.mastersofthejourney.com and our Facebook page www.facebook.com/mastersofthejourney

Art of Listening

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Is Communication Important?
Is Connection important?
Is Listening important to relationships?

Is there an art to effective communication?

At the core of good communication are two essential skills:
The art of offering a clear communication
The art of Receiving a communication

In this Blog, we focus of the Art of Listening:

Good Listening can involve:
Hearing what is being communicated but also of importance to receiving an interpersonal communication is the use of other primary senses. I will explain why, seeing helps hearing. Also why, feeling helps hearing. Even smelling and tasting can play a role in experiencing a communication.

There is a philosophy which believes that we have two ears and one mouth because we are supposed to listen twice as much.

Hearing is much more than just registering the speaker’s words. It can also include: tone of voice, volume, choice of wording, pace of speaking, pauses and silences, and the unspoken content or what is left out of the communication.

Seeing: Non-verbal cues: gestures, body language, facial expressions, breathing patterns, the speakers presentation are things which we “see” consciously or unconsciously. Very essential to good communication is encouraging eye contact and attention. Being focused and “present” without distracting thoughts in the witness/listner will allow for better connection and comprehension of the communication.

Feeling: Will include listening between the words and feeling the impact of the words which are used. Interpreting the hearing and the visuals that are presented. If physical contact is a part of the communication, feeling your partner’s intent through pressure or movement can be a feeling which communicates volumes.

Humans use less of the sensations of smell and taste in communication but these subtle cues can also add to the experience of the communication. Consider how perfume or body oder add to the experience. Or, how the smells of the environment can enhance or detract from communication like baking bread or the pungent smell of antiseptic in a hospital room. And, what does the taste of a shared meal do to add to a communication.

Perhaps the most important skill in the Art of Listening is to be “Present.” This is easier said than done. Being “Present” involves using your focus to minimize your internal distractions. Avoid extraneous thoughts or the habit of finding an answer to what you hear until it is your turn to add to the conversation. Even if you get defensive, it is better to hear the speaker out and ask clarifying question to make sure you fully understand what is being said so you can answer most effectively. Emotions can cause “knee-jerk” reactions which often cause more harm than good in a possibly tense conversation. It would be better, in most situations, if you treat your communication partners as if they were a very important figure like: the Pope, or the President, or even God. With this intended reverence in listening to your speaker, you have the best chance of “Hearing” at all levels to get the very most from the communication. In other words, listen to your communication partner as well or better than you would want to be heard.

To sum up, the Art of Listening is more than registering the words you may hear. Read between the lines and feel what is really being communicated. Use every one of your 5 physical senses and your intuition (or gut feelings) to take in the full communication. And finally, in the Art of Listening give the greatest gift of respect which one person can offer another by being fully focused and present with the love and appreciation that comes from the deepest honor the “Sharing” that you are being gifted to receive.

Coaching and training are available at the Stress Education Center, www.dstress.com.

Spring: Rebirth and Death in the Light

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It is April, 2016 and in the Northwest, Bellingham, Washington, we are feeling the warmth of sunshine and Spring! Life is blooming in every sense of the word. Life is exploding because that is what life is supposed to do at this time of year, in fact, at any time of year. Flowers are springing. Birds are doing what birds do. Joy, light, and even, Love, fill the air. We in the NW are basking in the beauty and the return of the longer, warmer days…

So two nights ago we had a small gathering at my house and a friend speaks up regarding the sudden and painful news about a childhood friend who, for his own unexplained reasons, had taken his own life! This has happened before and will happen again but the angst in the midst of re-birth weighs heavily upon the mind, emotions, and the soul of my friend (and others in this situation.) What can you say? What can you do to console a friend in this unexplainable situation and his grief? There is a lesson here for those who are left to ask, WHY??? There is a life challenge and lesson about death that we who are left behind must endure.

Another friend finds the following article about death, http://spiritlibrary.com/uriel-heals/death-dying-grace-and-peace and we read and possibly learn something from the thoughts and experience of another pilgrim. Perhaps you have been in this situation or know someone else who is? Perhaps this blog or the linked article can be of service? Perhaps you can contribute additional thoughts, articles, or videos to our library for referral to others who struggle and ask WHY?.

No matter how you contribute, thank you for your time and consideration. Meditate and send a prayer to my friend Glen or anyone else you know who may need some unconditional love and support. AND, do not miss the opportunity to hug your family and friends and tell them you love them!!!

Blessings, light, and love to you. May you bask in the warmth of sunlight and unconditional love… Appreciate Life and be Present! Find the way YOU can serve and share Love!

Share this article, if appropriate, and respond if you feel that you can add a positive contribution. We are ALL in this together and what has an effect upon one of us, challenges all of us…

Be well. Find your Bliss and celebrate life, even if you feel the struggle…

What Learning Did You Take Away With You?

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Have you ever had an experience or a training or a class and then reflected on what you learned from the experience? When people interact there is always the possibility of a significant learning. We are constantly learning whether we want to or not, and I find it far better to pay attention.

With that said, do you ask yourself the deeper spiritual question, “What wisdom did you re-learn or re-experience from your experience?” Since we have the wisdom and knowledge from a deeper Divine Source within us, we are “re-learning” the wisdoms that are already imbedded deep within our spirits. Sometimes we have to re-experience the same lesson over and over until we really understand it fully. Then we can move on to our next lesson. This concept of “remembering” allows us to connect with the “Master” within us and offers the opportunity to “serve” by sharing this wisdom with other individuals whom we interact.

To “remember” the wisdom requires that we continuously ask ourselves what learning did we take away from our experiences (of life.) Before you move, too quickly, to the next experience in your busy life, stop and pay attention to what is happening or what just happened. Fully appreciate! Be fully present! If an experience “resonates” with a deeper you, then you may be remembering the wisdoms that are deeply held within your divine spirit. Celebrate your remembering. Share wisdom as a service to our world!

Love the meetings with passionate and engaged people! Bask in the light of their energy, their joy, and their passion. (You do not have to believe everything or take up their passion but you can get imbued with their focus and intensity…)

Its Spring! Time for Rebirth

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If you read this blog in the week it is published then you, in the Northern Hemisphere, know that it is Springtime! The Spring Equinox is afoot. It is time for rebirth, renewal, and growth. Your growth is not just your bank account or your belly. It is a time for consciousness and the joy of new insights.

As the sun begins to shine longer (in the Northern Hemisphere) and flowers and trees begin to blossom, bask in the fresh growth of a world desperate to start over again! Flow with change! Breathe in the warmth and energy.

Commit yourself to learning and “Doing good in the World.” Our world need more Mitzvahs (good deeds.) Our world and our communities need a strong injection of Love and support. Growing our consciousness and connecting with your Divine Spirit would bless this world, which grows smaller every moment. Reach out and support all people in their pursuit to grow and to expand in spirit!

If nothing else, go out and celebrate the beauty of our natural world. Honor the Spring and what this stands for. Blessings!

Marriage: Get me to California for the Wedding

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My younger son, Mike, is getting married this month. Michel and Mike have been together for several years and they are a wonderful team. Being 30 years of age, Mike has not waited as long as I did to commit to marriage. (I was not ready until almost 34.) The commitment of marriage is not what I want to write about. It is obviously a huge commitment and should be considered very carefully by two responsible people because this decision is a “Life time” commitment, even if one or both of the members of this union chooses to leave this relationship (for whatever reason.)

A marriage creates a union forming the foundation of a family. It brings together two families. It brings together two people in one of the strongest bonds and strongest responsibilities that life can present. Though it sounds like I am speaking about commitment to marriage let me digress.

When people two people choose to marry do they “KNOW” what they are getting themselves into? Answer: No one does! Life leads down a path that may not be easily predictable. You rarely know where Life can lead and what lessons you are to learn from this experience. The beauty of living life is the weird twists and turns that create the unique and beautiful moments in life, even the most difficult challenges! The trust in your partner is almost always tested. I do not mean this in the most obvious ways of fidelity to the marriage. I mean in the times of challenge such as: parenting, illness, and even death, trusting the divine spirit and the learning that must occur. We choose to come into this life and into this set of lessons for a reason and getting along with your chosen partner creates very important chances to experience and “live” through significant challenges.

It is a blessing when two people find each other and create the bond of trust. As they walk hand in hand through life they are connected and must support their partners through all the good and difficult times. In a small way, marriage is a living example of “oneness” and the true lack of “self.” With the exchange of unconditional love, partners find themselves in each other and, possibly, a part of something much greater. A chance to love, demonstrate unconditional love, and to be part of heart driven union is one of the major lessons we are here to learn. This requires overcoming fear, self-doubt, perhaps a history of trust issues, and the willingness to be a participant in something much greater than a single individual’s life. Trusting your heart, knowing your heart, and following your intuition regarding your partnership is a huge step and engages the mind, the body, and the spirit.

Mike and Michel, I know you are loving, spiritual beings. Go and create the good in the world that your bond through marriage enables the both of you to offer.

I Love You! Your connection serves as an example of what can be most positive in life.

Blessings.

Take good care of each other and your selves.

Along the way, do what you came here to do and make the world a better place. Enjoy the lessons, even the challenges, that are a part of the process of living. Be the team I hope that you can, and will, be.

Let there be the bright and shining light of love in the world, and may you find yourself basking in the brilliance of this unconditional love from within.

Future Focus Achieving Your Dreams

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It is important to stay in the “present” so physical and emotional responses do not cause symptoms of distress to arise, however, planning for successful attainment of your goals and dreams is necessary for long term success. This all can sound like “double-talk” but it really makes good sense.

First, physical and emotional symptoms can develop for people who are “not in their bodies in the present.” Many people have anxiety/fear regarding occurrences from events which have happened in the past. These can be difficult to “let go.” Likewise, even more people get fearful and anxious about the unknowns of the future. These are things that we can not often control and so can become consciously or unconsciously scary. Most people need to learn how to release fears of the past or of the unknowns of the future and practice living, in their bodies, in the present moment. This is easier said than done, but very important to learn how to do and to use preventively.

If you are not completely happy with your “condition” in life, then you may need to move in positive directions to attain a long term goal and dream that will bring you greater satisfaction and happiness. For example, maybe you want to get your college education and a college degree. Or, maybe you want to take a trip to Paris or Rome. Or, maybe you want your work or investments to give you financial security. All of these are important and significant long range goals. If you want to achieve these, and not just desire them, you must take action. The first action is to really plan the steps necessary to accomplish this major goal. Break it down into the small steps that will take you down the path toward completing your goal. Work out a reasonable time line. Gather the information and the resources that you will require to begin. AND, GET STARTED! Get help or coaching if you can not do this for yourself, in a useful way.

You must be very clear about what your goal looks like. It helps to see, or visualize, your dream. Feel it! Know what the final result will feel like to you. Listen and hear what your success will sound like. Some people can even taste success… In other words, use ALL of your senses to imagine the successful completion of your goal. This will help to make it more “real” for your subconscious mind. NOW, focus on your goal and the path to achieving it.

Do not be lazy! Regularly, immerse yourself in seeing yourself moving toward, and then accomplishing, your goal. Some people do this upon awaking in the morning and again at bedtime. Many people need to start their day with these images of success. I know many people who plan goal focusing breaks throughout their day to help them maintain focus on their positive long range goals.

I believe in this process and I tested it! After completing my Ph.D. program my private practice had shrunk down to 3 appointments per week. I figured that I needed at least 15 per week reach my financial goals. This was in January and I set the last week of March as my target for accomplishing my goal. Several times a day I pictured myself answering the telephone and writing appointments in my appointment book, until all the appointment slots were full. Of course, I also made calls to referral sources and sent out letters to advertise my services. The last week of March, I had 18 appointments on my books and 14 people came in for their appointments. Pretty close to the exact goal I had established. I was thrilled. When I looked at where the new business had come from, less than half of the appointments came from my direct promotional efforts. More than half of these clients came from other sources, “out of the blue” you might say. It did not matter at the time but in the years since, I have come to respect the power of offering clear, specific requests to the universe. By being clear and specific, the universe can help provide the answers you require for the success that you desire. The principles are simple, the actual practice requires dedication, support, and sometimes specific coaching.

My coaching practice often takes clients with big goals and dreams. We move together to build the individualized program for success and take the steps necessary to accomplish these goals.

You can do it! You can make your life move in the most ideal directions, but it requires more than just “wanting” or “dreaming.” It requires the targeted work and the laser focus on your long term goal. What is the accomplishment of your dream really worth to you? Remember that anything of value requires your time, focused attention, and your energy to achieve.

Grab your dreams! Make them happen!

Commuter Stress Management – Celebrating Beauty

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I had a brief visit with “Mr. Scruffy” as I rode in to work one day. It was good to see him. He was perched on his regular lamp post as he scanned his domain. I was blessed to live on Whidbey Island in the Puget Sound, northwest of Seattle, WA. The Northwest has many beautiful sights to behold. There are the Olympic Mountains, the Cascade Range, the San Juan Islands, the Puget Sound itself, and the many types of wildlife that grace our landscape. In my neighborhood, there are at least 30 Bald Eagles that live much of the year within about 5 miles of my home.

That day, I set a new eagle spotting record, for me, as I drove to work in Coupeville. I counted 7 eagles perched in various trees along my way. There were 5 white crowned mature eagles and 2 immature eagles. I was looking for them on my familiar drive into the office. With every sighting my heart felt joy and I felt that nature was allowing me a special moment. (FYI, I have become familiar with some of my special neighbors and my wife and I named “Scruffy” because he appears older and unkempt compared to some of the younger mature eagles we see. But know that “Mr. Scruffy” is beautiful when he flies. He reminds me of Peggy Fleming, the ice skater, because he is graceful, elegant and without wasted effort as he soars the winds over Whidbey Island.)

I am in my tenth year of living in the Northwest, having moved from Sonoma County in California’s “Wine Country.” Sonoma County is also a beautiful place to live, though traffic and increasing population has added challenges to that part of our world. There are no Bald Eagles in my old neighborhood, but there were many other magnificent features of nature. Sonoma County has grand Redwood trees, amazing coast line, rolling pasture lands, oak grass lands, and of course, the vineyards that are picturesque any time of the year. Though I am vigilant when I am driving, I celebrate the beauties of the natural world when I drive down all but the most congested of roads.

In my first book, I coached “commuters” to play a game as they drive to or from work. Within the common sense limits of safety, I ask them to look out into their world and notice something new on every commute. Or, I ask that they find an aesthetically pleasing natural, or even man made, object to celebrate. Perhaps a pleasing or unique cloud formation or a classically designed house or building. Maybe a special vehicle drives by. Or for me, the noticing of birds or wildlife makes me appreciate the present moment of time. And that is the lesson… release your thoughts of past or future events and bask in the present moment, in a “positive” way. Smile as you celebrate the sharing of a special and unexpected sighting. At the end of your commute, whether arriving at work or at home, you will feel less stressed and better focused to get on with the next activities of your day.

This technique may not work as well in speeding Los Angeles freeway driving or when gale force winds threaten to blow your car into another lane of traffic but in many other situations turning your focus to something positive and being in the “present” can create a better commuter experience. I challenge you to find, and then celebrate, the best sights that you might encounter upon your commute. Find beauty or find the most interesting things that you experience along your way. Try it. It works!

Drive carefully and DO NOT TEXT MESSAGE while driving, ‘cause that is dumb!

For more stress management suggestions which can assist you as a commuter, go the Stress Education Center’s website at www.dstress.com

Masters of the Journey Video Conference

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You are a Master.

Today we offered our first live, video conference for spiritual development. The topic was an introduction to the “State of Grace.” Presenting were Brother Bob Trask of Bellingham’s Unity Center and author, Paula Forget, who wrote the recently released, “Guided to the Higher Realms.” Most people on the call also contributed from their wisdom and life experience. The callers were from around the country and their sharing made this a perfect example of what Masters of the Journey can be, a leader-less community of “seekers” who are willing to share their stories.

We will be adding this video to our expanding library others who were not able to get on this call, “live.” In the future, we have many topics of spiritual development with contributions from members and experts in the field. The support and excitement for this consciousness raising process is growing with contributions of many people who are traveling through on their path and willing to reach around to support fellow pilgrims.

Consider joining our membership by visiting our website at www.mastersofthejourney.com or by visiting our Facebook page at www.facebook.com/mastersofthejourney. Our members will benefit from the resources and trainings that we offer and by participating in our interactive sessions.

Please continue to learn and grow. If appropriate please share this information.
Namaste

Healing Secret

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Do you believe that someone else “Heals” you? Or, do you believe that you heal yourself? When you get a small cut or scratch how does your body repair itself? When you get exposed to a cold virus how does your body fight off the virus infection? These are mysteries that are just being explored. A doctor in an emergency room can set a bone, or put stitches in a wound, or restart your heart, or prescribe a medication like an antibiotic which can save your life. This demonstrates the mastery of medical arts, but does this heal you?

The power to heal is within you. People with faith may believe that the holy spirit can help the healing process or is it the “belief” in the holy spirit that actually supports the healing? The magic of the body hunting for an infection, building anti-bodies, and then destroying a bacteria or virus or even a cancer cell is still not well understood by medical professionals. There are many who believe that healing can be enhanced by the power of the focused mind.

I bought my wife a crystal that has healing properties, as told to me by the shop keeper. Perhaps the crystal focuses a healing energy that can not be measured by current scientific monitors or perhaps a person’s belief in the healing properties of the crystal are what rallies the patient to enhance their own healing mechanisms. In many ways, it does not matter whether the crystal does the healing or the faith in the crystal provides the healing, but…

From past experience in coaching clients, I have witnessed the power of the positive suggestions offered to enhance the healing process. The positive focus and concentration upon the positive end results and a soothing or calming environment can help promote the healing process. Many clients have responded well, physically and emotionally, to positive visualizations and suggestions, but I can not claim to know why this happens. I do know that the safe way I practice this use of suggestions does not hurt them and it is meant as an adjunctive process to traditional medical protocols.

I have seen “miracles” (or unexplained benefits) occur. As an example, I had a woman in her mid-twenties come in to my private practice with a diagnosis of a hyper-active thyroid and the symptoms that go along with this diagnosis. She said that she had been treated by an endocrinologist for 4 years with little positive result. Her symptoms included: hyperactive behavior, skin breakouts, bulging (protruding) eyes and high levels of thyroid hormone in her blood tests. I told her that I had not worked with this diagnosis (this was early in my career) but as we discussed her life she seemed to respond to information about biofeedback and stress management. We discussed a process that involved relaxation with Autogenic Training and a targeted visualization of blue light and coolness surrounding her thyroid gland to reduce blood supply to her overactive thyroid. It seemed to make sense to her and she went home to practice these techniques. 4 weeks later her skin was better. Her eyes were not bulging. Her energy levels seemed better under control. AND, her doctor found no trace of excessive thyroid hormone in her blood test. She felt that her success was due to her relaxation and visualization of a positive result. She used the power of her mind to heal herself in a measurable way. I loved this experience but I can not really explain the positive result.

I believe that we have the power to help keep ourselves healthy and we can be a big part of the healing process. I recommend that we get diagnosis and support from our medical professionals especially with our personal physicians but we should not always assume that they will heal us… We have a big part of this responsibility and we need to do our part.

I do not know whether a crystal helped my wife but I like to think that she may found emotional support in the belief that a positive environment helped her invest her own healing energies in appropriate ways. I also know that other people’s prayers, healing thoughts, love and positive energy can give great comfort and support. This may assist the healing process by having positive effects on the mind, emotion, and spirit of the person receiving this support.

Heal yourself. Share love and support with people who need healing. Allow them to bask in the healing, spiritual golden-white light of your unconditional, loving thoughts and prayers.

Contact me through the Stress Education Center’s website at www.dstress.com for more healing examples or coaching on how this might benefit your healing process. Please take good care of yourself.