Maybe it is the Late Afternoon of my life. Soon I will be entering the Eighth decade of my life. Quite frankly, I never thought I’d be around this long. It never occurred to me to consider this aging process and what my role as an elder is all about. For me, on the inside, I still consider myself to be young. At least younger than that stranger looking back at me in the mirror.
My friend, in his 50’s, Rodger, told me that “we are in the “afternoon” of our lives,” it caused me to pause and consider these words. Then, as if to correct himself he added, “Or, perhaps, we are are in the “late afternoon” of our lives…” to better include my current level of ancientness. And Yes, this did add entertainment to my consideration of this dilemma. Ok, when do you hit “evening” or late night TV of your life?
Question: Do I want to be old? NO! Do I want to act my age? NO! Do I want to even consider decrepitude? NO, NO, NO! Do I accept myself and the process of aging? With a struggle, Yes and, not really…
AND, what’s my role in this drama? I am a father. I am a grandfather. I am a brother, a lover, a friend, a mensch, a clown, a writer, a teacher, and a healer. And, I am so much more. None of these labels are adequate to define my role. I am a human living in privilege living in North America who occasionally struggles with cultural expectation of who I am and where I am “supposed” to be at this later stage of this life… (Societal expectations based on what culture suggests has never been my strong suit. I have always felt like I am “outsider” looking in and, with pride, in my oppositional opinions and actions…)
Do I care about the future? Well, yes, but differently than I expected. My youthful optimism is reduced, mostly due to waning energy levels. I have always been impatient with life, and still am… From my current perspective, I appreciate the miracles and blessings of life much differently, and with more reverence, than I did in earlier decades. Most of the time I view people, and our shared encounters, looking for the beauties and the good things rather than in negative judgement of an insecure younger me looking to pretend that I am better than… Translation: now, I look more often for a beauty or acknowledge a skill rather than looking to find a weakness or flaw in the people I interact with.
So what does it mean to be in the “late afternoon” of my current incarnation. The days seem to be getting a bit shorter. My energy is drawing inward. I am not cut off from my world but my view is less unbridled than in earlier times. Taking on larger, time and energy, consuming projects seems to be lowered in priority for me. I may not get to learning those new languages or learning to play new musical instruments, which I have put off for many decades. I may even shelve going to medical school which was a very high priority for me when I was 15 years old. Though, I will make time to view more Sunsets and perhaps to taste some good wines.
My life has been filled with Guidance and protection. There are still important challenges and missions for me. There are times when I feel like I am “winding down” and there are times when I rationalize that I am actually using my energies more efficiently. Either way, I proceed through this life with Wonderment and Beginner’s Mind when I choose to be most present. My request to you, as you have read this far, is find Joy and laughter every day of your life. Add the perspective that your life, all life, is a Miracle and you are blessed when you can share your experience with other pilgrims you meet along your way.
If circumstance appears and asks you if YOU want to return for another lifetime in a human form, you may say “No, I do not want to return.” For life is “hard” and full of drama and you may consider that “you” deserve a “rest.” I have considered this option and heard other people’s answers. The Dalai Lama when asked this question responded by saying that he “hopes” he can return and continue to be of service. He is highly evolved and perhaps he is “done” with human incarnations. If you do NOT want to return for more lives and experiences of service, then, almost certainly you WILL have to return for the challenges of additional incarnations… Worry not, for all incarnations are simultaneous and there is no linear time in the higher dimensions (from where we have come.) Just keep breathing and being present. Allow your meditations to offer you guidance…
AND, every day consider your purpose in your current incarnation. Looking deep into this circumstance, I feel certain that you will “know” that you are here to serve! Share your stories and the wisdom you have gained, or are struggling to gain. The people you bump into are both your students and your teachers. We all share life experience to support each other in developing our consciousness. and, we are all in this (life) together…
Dance like no one is watching! Live like this will be your very last day… No regrets, you are perfect and so accept those flaws and imperfections which make you unique…
You are a Miracle! Thank you for being you.
Thanks for your time and consideration. Your insights and experiences are unique and a blessing, so please share these…
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You are a Blessing! You are a Master! Your wisdom from your life experience can have great value to other pilgrims on the path toward awakening and enlightenment.
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