Category Archives: Health

Why we are more Overwhelmed Now! Stress

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Why we are more stressed now. Do not be a victim to advances in technology.

Written by L. John Mason, Ph.D., Author of the Bestseller; Guide to Stress Reduction

Overwhelmed???

Why we are more stressed now than ever before!

Quality of life has suffered. Health has been affected. The rate of change has accelerated. Productivity can be jeopardized. We are “running” faster than ever and do not feel like we can ever catch up! Personal and professional support is draining away.

We are “stuck” with a “primitive” response mechanism which may never evolve fast enough to keep pace with technology. This ancient survival mechanism is built into our genetic code and has its origin billions of years ago. We still need this response on occasion, but day to day, it may be a major thorn in our side. It has been known since the 1930’s as Walter Cannon described it, the “Flight/Fight” response. This automatic reaction to fight or to flee to save our life is stilled needed, however, the normal daily reactions to less than life threatening situations, can trigger a part of this reaction in a habitual way which is slightly different for each of us.

The problem arises when we ignore the response until our systems have to over-react to get our attention. A major display by this mechanism can look like: tension headaches, tight neck and shoulders, sleeping problems, back pain, high blood pressure, irregular heart rate, stroke, heart disease, asthma attacks, panic/anxiety attacks, stomach problems, sexual dysfunction, certain skin irritations, hyper sensitivity, learning problems, memory problems, communication problems, poor decision making, emotional swings, resistance to change, lower productivity, and increased likelihood of worker’s compensation claims due to stress or on the job accidents and injury. Any of these symptoms can affect an individual employee, a team, a department, or the whole company’s bottom line. 70-90% of visits to medical doctor’s offices are for symptoms that are either caused or made worse as a reaction to this primitive stress response.

Symptoms of stress cost companies Billions of dollars annually in lost time, reduced productivity, worker’s compensation claims, replacement of key personnel, even lawsuits, and internal sabotage from overwhelmed employees. Prevention not only can enhance quality of life, it will also raise productivity, reduce sabotage, and assist retention strategies.

To make a point that we are more stressed today than ever before, consider the ever increasing rate of change based on new information. The “Information Age” was coined in the 1980’s. It has created a revolution of new information technologies. To see this point more clearly, think back to common societal changes since the mid to late 1980’s. Did you have cable TV in 1985? How many channels did you get from your cable provider? How many channels of TV do you have today, with cable or satellite dish? Probably 15+ channels in 1985 to now as many as 500 choices. In the mid-1980’s did you have a fax machine? A “pager”? A personal computer? E-mail? A Cellular telephone? You have probably experienced all of these since then. If you still do not have a “Cell phone,” you are not immune from the increased numbers of them… Just go to a movie, a restaurant, church, a meeting…. everywhere you go people are using the new technologies and probably stressing you out. A big one to consider that did not exist in the 1980’s is related to “cell phone” use while driving. Do you call when driving? Do other people behave unsafely when they are distracted by calls while driving?

Do you remember the early 1990’s? You could get new computer with software and not have to upgrade for 2-3 years. Now, if you get a new computer, it is outdated before you get it home and out of the box. Software upgrades seem to happen by the minute… Have you noticed that there are more coffee and espresso stands in the last 10 years? Is this how people cope with the increase in the pace of change and new information? Are there more cases of people going “postal” or “car rage”, or “air rage,” or whatever new anxiety we experience.

A final question, since 1985 has your genetic code “upgraded” to keep up with the pace of the Information Age? It takes thousands of years to biologically evolve! Psychologically and emotionally we must learn coping strategies to ensure our healthy survival. That is why now, more than ever before in human history, we must invest time and resources in preventing the adverse effects of our own stress response. Though it does take time and energy, prevention is worth the price. We can actually save time and get more done, by eliminating the internal distractions of stress. Also, we need to mentor, as positive role models, our children in these coping strategies that they will require to survive the ever-increasing presence of stress in our society.

There are models of companies using various prevention strategies and finding a return on investment. I know of one study with the company Coors Brewing Company of Golden, Colorado where human resources reported a $5 return on every $1 invested in health and wellness programs. The positive return was based on reduced sick time, fewer accidents, increased morale and productivity. The more subtle cost savings due to prevention of sabotage (and resistance to change) from overwhelmed, disgruntled employees is very difficult to measure, but still a significant factor in many organizations. Often, improved communication, allowing for input from all levels of the workforce, can be a valuable stress management and prevention strategy that leadership is learning.

In house trainers, coaching and mentoring can create a tailored program that will best fit your organization. Outside consultants, coaches, and trainers can assist your organization to build the most effective programs, if your in house staff does not have the necessary training or experience. Consider the cost benefits of reduced: sabotage, health claims, accidents, sick time, turnover, and loss of productivity due lack of focus. Proactive retention strategies, which have used employee surveys, include stress management as a highly requested benefit (always in the top three requested programs.)

If you feel that you might benefit from an individualized stress management program to minimize your overwhelm and stress, consider the Stress Education Center’s audios which include a basic stress management series or specific stress management programs for: sleeping, pain management, anxiety control, and even pre-natal stress management. Check these out at www.dstress.com or https://dstress.com/products/specific-health-topics/.

Growing the Garden: a Reason to Live

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Do you have a good reason to live? Is there something motivating you that may help you to live longer should you find yourself with a terminal illness? I have seen mothers with young children use their love of their children to fight off near-death experiences. When asked why they chose to come back from their near-death incident, they have answered they could not leave yet, knowing that their young children would be left to grow without them. This experience has surfaced when severe accidents and terminal illness were involved. Some people are ready to pass into the next consciousness and “let go” more easily. Some people fear death or for other reasons stubbornly hold on to living. I had a male client in his late thirties who had anger as a motivation to keep living years beyond his prognosis. His wife and younger children suffered the torment of living with this angry, frustrated husband/father. When he finally did let go, there was some relief felt by caregivers and family. In this particular case, his death-defying behaviors were actually viewed as a torture for his family. Sad, but true.

Then there are people like my late wife, Barbara. She lived beyond her prognosis. She appreciated and celebrated every day that she lived with her cancer. One of her positive motivators was her passion for growing plants in her garden. Like the Winchester Mystery House, she continued to add more garden and more plants every chance she got. She rejoiced with every blossom that developed. She celebrated every vegetable that matured. She had weeding projects and building projects that never seemed to end. When she cut her blossoming flowers and brought them inside to decorate our home, I felt her joy and saw her beaming smile. She took all of our visitors on a tour of her gardens to celebrate her creations and the sensation of life that these plants symbolized. Their appreciation bolstered her energy. This energy kept her stronger for her treatments and helped her to maintain an exercise regimen. She kept her focus on living and did not discuss her condition. She did not want to be known as a cancer patient or someone struggling with a terminal illness. She did not want sympathy but wanted to bask in joy, health, happiness and the Light. She planned future dates of positive events with family and friends. She looked to the blessings in the future and not to the gathering clouds.

If this is relevant to you or to someone you know, I encourage you to help them bask in the Light of life’s celebrations. Enjoy the happiness and joys in each new day. Focus on what is working and keep moving forward.

Thank you for your attention and your time. With my love and my challenge, please keep moving closer to the light of unconditional love and higher consciousness… Find joy!

Waking Up

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It is time to wake up! Have you heard this before? Was it your alarm clock or your mother or your job calling out to you? Or, was it coming from somewhere deep within you? Perhaps you have had the feeling that there was more to life. Perhaps you had the feeling that there is a different level of happiness or satisfaction you could achieve. Perhaps, it is time to engage in waking up! It is easier to NOT Change. It is easier to not seek. It is easier to find the feeling of “lack” because it is so familiar but this is NOT the way to move forward in your life or in your desire to become more whole and more conscious! Some of us are blocked by FEAR. Fear of the unknown, or of change, or of the risk with looking different from other people who live around you. Just look at these at these less conscious potential role models… Are they happy with their lives? Are they going to reach the end of their lives WITHOUT Regret?

This process is not one of enormous effort, only one of focused attention to “remember” what you already know… For many people it starts by quieting the chatter of your mind (and its expectations), following the breath, and moving into the state of being “Present.” Most of us can get fearful, anxious, tense, and stressed by “living” in the future. Or, we may find ourselves with: guilt, regrets, resentments, grievances, or sadness because we are living in the Past. It can help to find forgiveness and acceptance, which would be based on the premise that WE are all in this together. We are all “one.” The most challenging encounters with other humans are lessons that we find along our travels through life and these are meant to teach us what we need most to learn… I have heard it said that we “hate” most in another that which, at some level, we hate within ourselves. Personally, when I look at angry, impatient, opinionated people and find annoyance, I know these are the qualities within me that cause me the most difficulty.

It is time to WAKE UP! It is time to release judgement and the constrictions of the mind and the egoic ways of thinking which tend to separate us. There are many times when it is better to connect with other people through love and acceptance rather than the times when we look for, and fear, the identified differences. We have more in common than our mind leads us to believe. There are times, special times, when we drop the illusions of separation and feel the connection with humanity and with all life on our planet. It starts by being present, breathing, and quieting the divisive voices of the mind. (It does not serve you well to compare and contrast qualities you perceive in another person, for the sake of feeling superior or giving you a reason to look to knock this person off the conceived pedestal we might have elevated that other person to.)

Why would YOU want to wake up? What is in it for you, you might ask? When you are not “awake,”  it is easier to be caught in the dilemma of life dissatisfaction. It it easier to want what you do not have rather than to fully appreciate the blessings in your life. It is difficult to find lasting happiness with your life when you are wearing other people’s expectations. The solution may be found in going within, within your heart, soul, and spirit, to find the things that give YOU the deepest levels of satisfaction. Chances are that what you find are much more simple and basic life sustaining things. Your connections with your tribe. The sharing of life’s moments and the experiences acquired. Learning your lessons as you move forward along your path. Knowing Love. Finding Gratitude for all the encounters in life which are true blessings.

In the process of “waking,” you may be wise to connect with your intuitive wisdom. The “gut feelings” which are heart based and more a feeling than a thought, allow you to “Know” things that are more than fact based logic. The food of life is not always understandable. When we are guided by our intuition, we can step into experiences and connections which may allow for the deepest insights. There are no words which clearly define a taste or a flavor or a color or an emotion but there are a wide range of feelings which are outside our mental, rational thoughts. The “waking” involves trusting the messages from your heart and taking responsibility for the outcomes of your intuitive decisions. It is clear that you can better appreciate the laws of the natural world and connect with the Earth when you step away from the mental “rational” (?) thoughts of man against nature, with the outcome being the abuse of the resources our Earth provides. Our long term survival rests in backing away from the “conquer nature” mentality and the embracing of the love of our beautiful yet fragile existence.

Whether you know it or not your are here for a reason. And, since you have read this far, you need to be reminded, or may be told for the first time, that YOU are a Master! You have the Divine Spirit within your heart and soul! If you did not know this already, it is time to awaken to the truth regarding the important role that you play in this pilgrimage of souls toward full consciousness. You have a purpose! Find a way to serve. Find a way to reach around and assist your fellow pilgrims. Find the way to be a force for good in the world.

Waking up and remembering is the challenge that we all face, and the best part of following our path in this life. Are you a Glass half full or Glass half empty person? Choose Optimism and the synergy of connection with all life through love.

Namaste and Blessings!

Connection and Community

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Have you ever lived in a family or a community? Most of us have had this experience, for better or worse. Some of us have been blessed with an ideal situation where we have found people who we really love and care about, who have functioned well in a loving, caring way toward each other. This experience is more rare. I remember growing up in a neighborhood with decent people who did not deeply care about each other. For the most part, they did better than tolerate their neighbors but, by and large, remained independent and superficial (or aloof) from their nearest neighbors. In primitive communities, neighbors worked together to survive and looked out for each other because they realized that it was too difficult to live comfortably completely on their own. But growing up in Southern California suburbs meant barely putting up with your immediate family, let alone the neighbors. At least, that is what it seemed to me.

No man is an island was a line in a 1624 poem by English poet, John Donne. Suggesting to me that we are all connected and the world is less if anyone goes missing. Also included in this poem, “And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls, It tolls for thee.” “Any man’s death diminishes me, Because I am involved in Mankind.” So some people reach out to deeply connect and care for others, and this serves all of us to do so. Caring and connecting makes us happier and healthier. Perhaps we can remember this and make connecting a higher priority. Some of us may need to be reminded that life experiences are better when these are shared experiences.

Whether people are conscious or not, most of us strive to be included in communities. We feel better in a “Tribe.” In this day and age, a tribe may be with other people who share a common interest or even passion. In the United States you can see the tribes gathering on weekends in the Fall of the year. People in the tribe dress up in colors and costumes to be included in the celebration of the religion of their favorite football team. A very tribal community with elaborate clothes (Jerseys), hats, and even War paint. There is competition to be the most devoted and fanatic among the tribe’s fans. This may be our primitive need to join and to be part of a tribe.

Consider that this need for community exists and many of us do not feel a part of a “Healthy” and supportive group of people. We have been too isolated by our cultural behavior where independence is worshiped and lack of trust runs strong. For many of us, the need for connection and community has begun to surface, especially, as we begin to face aging or our mortality. Being “alone” during these transitions is often scary and less conducive for healthy transitions and the learning we gain during these major transitional periods. At the very least, it is better to have mentors or role models to help cope with these difficult life lessons. Connection and community can be very useful in these times.

So I ask you, what are YOU doing to build and maintain a HEALTHY connection and community? Not just with fellow sport fans, co-workers, or folks you see in class, church, or club, but real deep connections with caring, supportive people who can “count on you” and you on them…. It takes time and effort, but for most people, it is worth the “trouble.”

Another perspective comes from metaphysical philosophy which tells us that we are all in this together, spiritually. We are all pilgrims and benefit from reaching around and assisting the fellow pilgrims we meet in life. If nothing else, know the value you can offer by allowing another person to share their story with you. You can even show respect by not interrupting, except for clarification, as your partner finds the depth of their experience to share with you. I know that YOU would love to be respected and “heard” as you attempt to share your truth. Blessings and patience. Learn to judge less and accept more, for this offers the deepest love you can give your fellow pilgrim.

The skills of “witnessing” and listening are taught and practiced by members of the spiritual support community, the Masters of the Journey. The Masters of the Journey is a supportive community who believes that we are each masters (of our lives) having lived through many life experiences. There are lessons learned and wisdom to share. Find your supportive connections and community!

Find out more about Masters of the Journey: A Transformational Community at: www.mastersofthejourney.com or Facebook page www.facebook.com/mastersofthejourney

The Art of Being Present

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What is the advantage in being Present? How do you achieve the state of Presence? In moving along your path in life, when should you strive for “being fully in the Moment?”

Have you ever had the telephone conversation or the face to face meeting with another person who was clearly “somewhere else” and not tracking your communication? In our busy world, this happens all the time. You have to repeat yourself or you feel insecure that you were not fully heard or understood. You have to question your communication partner to “check in” and to know that they were not so distracted that they did not receive your important communication. People clearly have a great deal on their mind and they are being torn away by the invasion of of text messages or other manifestations of interrupting technology. We are so “plugged in” that it is difficult to invest fully in the conversation with the person in front of you or on the other end of the telephone. A client may not feel fully connected with you if you are lost in another thought and this may cause a transaction to go poorly. Your friend or family member may get frustrated with your lack of focus and may lash out at you in frustration. These situations happen all to frequently. Many people do not have the awareness, and then the control, to be able to quiet the distractions and really focus on the present moment and this is sad.

Missing the moment that will never come again is a loss that you can not ever recover!  There are times when you can multi-task but human interaction is very important and should not be short changed by your distracted and disrespectful pursuit of multiple thoughts or activities. Remember when this happened to you and how you felt this lack of respect and consideration! If for no other reason, you will miss out on the most joyful and satisfying moments in life if you are not present!

Achieving the state of “Presence” requires that you reduce internal and, if possible, external distractions. Begin by NOT thinking of your answer or response before your communication partner finishes their statement. Listen! Listen with ALL of your senses. If you require clarification, ask supportive “open ended questions.” Make eye contact. It is rude to not focus your vision upon the person who is speaking. If possible, feel the emotion of what is being said. Use your intuition to read “between the lines.” There are many times when you may need to clear your mind and relax your body to reduce internal distractions and this may benefit from learning how to meditate and to find yourself in the present moment. If you can be present, you will be happier and healthier. Your relationships can improve. You can find interpersonal success more easily.

Being fully present can become more a positive habit if you practice and learn more about what is distracting to you, AND, learn to let this go. Remember, that the respect you show in listening and interacting can be beneficial for personal learning and will improve your relationships. It will even SAVE YOU TIME in the long run. Try it and see for yourself.

If you manage other people or want positive outcomes with your family, learning to be fully present is a mandatory skill and life enhancing experience.

Blessings to you on your path and watch most carefully each foot step on your journey toward consciousness.

More information and support can be found at: www.mastersofthejourney.com and our Facebook page www.facebook.com/mastersofthejourney

Spring: Rebirth and Death in the Light

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It is April, 2016 and in the Northwest, Bellingham, Washington, we are feeling the warmth of sunshine and Spring! Life is blooming in every sense of the word. Life is exploding because that is what life is supposed to do at this time of year, in fact, at any time of year. Flowers are springing. Birds are doing what birds do. Joy, light, and even, Love, fill the air. We in the NW are basking in the beauty and the return of the longer, warmer days…

So two nights ago we had a small gathering at my house and a friend speaks up regarding the sudden and painful news about a childhood friend who, for his own unexplained reasons, had taken his own life! This has happened before and will happen again but the angst in the midst of re-birth weighs heavily upon the mind, emotions, and the soul of my friend (and others in this situation.) What can you say? What can you do to console a friend in this unexplainable situation and his grief? There is a lesson here for those who are left to ask, WHY??? There is a life challenge and lesson about death that we who are left behind must endure.

Another friend finds the following article about death, http://spiritlibrary.com/uriel-heals/death-dying-grace-and-peace and we read and possibly learn something from the thoughts and experience of another pilgrim. Perhaps you have been in this situation or know someone else who is? Perhaps this blog or the linked article can be of service? Perhaps you can contribute additional thoughts, articles, or videos to our library for referral to others who struggle and ask WHY?.

No matter how you contribute, thank you for your time and consideration. Meditate and send a prayer to my friend Glen or anyone else you know who may need some unconditional love and support. AND, do not miss the opportunity to hug your family and friends and tell them you love them!!!

Blessings, light, and love to you. May you bask in the warmth of sunlight and unconditional love… Appreciate Life and be Present! Find the way YOU can serve and share Love!

Share this article, if appropriate, and respond if you feel that you can add a positive contribution. We are ALL in this together and what has an effect upon one of us, challenges all of us…

Be well. Find your Bliss and celebrate life, even if you feel the struggle…

Its Spring! Time for Rebirth

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If you read this blog in the week it is published then you, in the Northern Hemisphere, know that it is Springtime! The Spring Equinox is afoot. It is time for rebirth, renewal, and growth. Your growth is not just your bank account or your belly. It is a time for consciousness and the joy of new insights.

As the sun begins to shine longer (in the Northern Hemisphere) and flowers and trees begin to blossom, bask in the fresh growth of a world desperate to start over again! Flow with change! Breathe in the warmth and energy.

Commit yourself to learning and “Doing good in the World.” Our world need more Mitzvahs (good deeds.) Our world and our communities need a strong injection of Love and support. Growing our consciousness and connecting with your Divine Spirit would bless this world, which grows smaller every moment. Reach out and support all people in their pursuit to grow and to expand in spirit!

If nothing else, go out and celebrate the beauty of our natural world. Honor the Spring and what this stands for. Blessings!

Panic and Anxiety Control Program

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Symptoms of panic and anxiety can be confused with life threatening physical disorders! Please consult your physician to determine the source of your symptoms.

Behavioral techniques for controlling panic and anxiety. Help get back in control of your life.
This is an update of specific things you can do to control the symptoms of panic and anxiety attacks. These devastating occurrences can negatively affect your day to day quality of life. But this is not news for anyone suffering from this terrible disorder. Millions of people live in fear of these “attacks.” Major transitions, trauma, and stress can lead to feelings of little or no control over one’s life! This can affect people in major ways.

A scary symptom which can develop is called Panic (or Panic Attack.”) A panic episode can come on suddenly or can awaken you from your sleep with a nasty feeling of apprehension. Some people believe that they are having a heart attack because often there is chest pain, a shortness of breath, neck or arm pain, major stomach upset, an adrenaline rush, lightheadedness, dizziness, and other unpleasant feelings of fear and apprehension. These feelings can be triggered by specific events such as: driving (getting stuck in traffic), shopping, waiting in lines at stores, banks, post offices, etc, feeling trapped in church/movies/classes, traveling distances from home (especially flying, etc.), making a presentation in front of a group of people (drawing attention toward yourself), doing new or unfamiliar activities, meeting new people, basically, doing anything new or seemingly stressful where you may fear “LOSING CONTROL.” Loss of control is the main feature that makes this so frightening for the people who suffer from panic and anxiety. We may not know a panic sufferer by looking at him or her because they can maintain such good control that unless we were to look very carefully we might not notice the nervousness below the surface.

Heart problems, chest pain, and respiratory difficulties (hyperventilation and dizziness are common symptoms of panic/anxiety attacks) should be carefully examined by your physician! If no heart related problem exists, but you are still in great fear of these occurrences of panic then the following behavioral program, with practice, will greatly aid you in preventing or at least minimizing the episodes of panic. Also, remember that exciting/positive actions or events can raise your heart rate. This excitement is not bad or life threatening, but you fear of the physical symptoms of excitement can really hamper your enjoyment of life!

The keys to controlling panic and anxiety are:

• Breathe slowly/diaphragmatically
• Remain in the present… in your body, in a positive way
• Positive self-talk… not negative ruminations
• Avoid caffeine and stimulants
• Regular aerobic exercise
• Regular deep relaxation with Biofeedback Temperature monitoring
• Use relaxation tapes/CD’s regularly!
• Learn to warm your hands and feet
• Get support in confronting and then desensitizing yourself to fears/phobias
• Taper your anti-anxiety medication after you have mastered the relaxation-biofeedback

1. Learn to breathe diaphragmatically
Place a hand over your upper abdomen
Push it OUT as you inhale
Let in move IN as you exhale
Let your chest, shoulder, neck, and back relax as you breathe.
Only on a very deep breath should these parts move in the breath.
This may be the most important Panic Control Technique you can learn!

2. Use any of the Stress Management Audio’s, especially, #205 Stress Management for Controlling Panic and Anxiety, 1-3 times per day for 8-12 weeks. Check the “Products” page at the Stress Education Center’s website.
After achieving a level of controlled deep relaxation, repeat suggestions of “control,” especially control of slow, regular breathing and slow regular heart rate. Suggestions of “letting go” to help achieve hand and foot warming, along with any visualizations that can encourage this increase of peripheral blood flow, would be very useful, as well.

Try to find: StressDots or some sort of temperature training biofeedback device on your hands to learn how to warm your hands with relaxation. When you can consistently get above 90 degrees Fahrenheit (93-95 degrees is ideal) then you can begin to master warming your feet to 90 degrees.
When you can “let go” by relaxing and warming your hands and feet, you will be able to control if not prevent your panic episodes. Then you must develop the confidence in your control so the fear of panic will not control your life.

3. Regular exercise will help you to work off the effects of life’s stresses
3-5 times per week of regular exercise that can elevate your heart rate for 15-45 minutes would be best. Check with your doctor before beginning an exercise program if you have been inactive for a long while. Even though elevating your heart rate can be a little scary, the release of tensions and the strengthening of your cardiovascular system will have great benefits.

4. Eat regular meals.
Low fat and complex carbohydrates are better than fast foods with lots of sugar. AVOID CAFFEINE and other stimulants. Caffeine is found in coffee, black teas, cola drinks, chocolate, some over-the-counter pain medications, and other foods/drugs. Read labels. Eating as closely as you can to natural foods (lots of: fruits, vegetables, whole grains, etc.) will benefit any one.

5. Practice positive self-talk.
Do not let your fears escalate into you losing control of your body and your mind. By breathing slowly and staying in your body, in present time, you avoid falling into the negative pattern of fear and panic.

6. Get support from your friends, doctor, and a therapist if necessary.
Check your area for panic/anxiety support or treatment groups! Regular use of anti-anxiety medications may be better than just taking your prescription only after the panic has begun. Reduce your medication in a supervised way after you have mastered the relaxation/biofeedback control techniques.

Remember you can get back in control of your body and your life! You must make this a priority so you can avoid being a victim to this set of scary symptoms.

Panic/anxiety is not always your enemy. This reaction is designed to protect you and may teach you something about the stresses and transitions you are going through. Denial of these challenges only creates a more stubborn set of symptoms that can be more debilitating.

Other Good books that can help you:David Barlow, Ph.D. and Jerome Cerny, Psychological Treatment of Panic, Guilford Press, New York. 1988.

Susan Lark, MD, Anxiety & Stress: A Self-Help Program, Westchester Publishing Company, Los Altos, CA. 1993.

For more information regarding the Stress Education Center Panic/Anxiety Control Program visit the website at www.dstress.com or call 360-593-3833.

Thoughts That Keep You Awake: Better Sleep

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Almost every one of us has had our sleep interrupted or prevented by uncontrollable thoughts that run through our conscious minds. Reduced quality of rest has a negative effect on our performance and quality of life in many situations. So learning to control these distracting thoughts, or perhaps better, preventing these thoughts from racing through our minds, when we should be sleeping, would be a positive. Easier said than done…

I have had difficulty with avoiding certain anxiety producing conversations with my wife at bedtime or just after the “lights go out.” This is not unique because this can be a good time to have an undistracted conversation. However, an unsettling conversation as I am trying to let go of the thoughts of the day can open the doors for consideration of the dilemmas of life which can prevent an easy path to a restful sleep.

These conversations can be important and necessary. It is just the timing of these moments of communication that I find difficult. There are better times in the day to work on these important subjects. The bottom line is that at “bedtime” there is not much that you can do with the new information other than ruminate or fret over it.

The things that are the most stressful are things that you care the most about but which you can not control. As an example, parents usually care about what happens to their child (or children) but often the parent can not control every detail regarding what our offspring will be confronted by. When we experience difficulties with jobs/careers, finance, relationships, health concerns (for ourselves or our loved ones,) changes in our economy, weather, or even the process of aging, we can find ourselves troubled by distracted minds stressed by these events that we have little or no ability to control. These distractions dance through our minds and set off our primitive survival responses and this, in turn, does not allow our minds to relax and drift into soothing, restful sleep.

Medications can relax some of the systems that can keep us awake. Drugs can mask the emotional challenge, but not solve the roots of this challenge. Drug use can also lead to physical and emotional dependency which creates more problems. Better solutions include appropriate communication and problem solving. Some people can benefit from adjusting their attitudes realizing that the things they can not control may be better tolerated if one learns to accept the issue and to build a more solid emotional foundation to help stabilize our responses in these difficult times. (Again, easier said than done, but worth developing as a preventive mechanism.)

Self-care will help give you strength to tolerate these difficult situations. Physical exercise, eating well (healthy), and regular relaxation/meditation will help. Counseling which can help create emotional and spiritual support may be helpful, additionally. Most importantly, deal with your challenges during the day. It may not be best to discuss, or to mentally work on these issues at bedtime.

The 50 to 1 Countdown exercise that I teach in other blogs, articles, and in the book is a great technique to help quiet the mind and promote a deep and restful sleep. Consider trying it. For more individualized coaching, consider our professional coaching for enhancing performance and productivity by contact us through the Stress Education Center’s website at Stress Education Center’s website

Please take good care of yourself.

Letting Go a Meditation

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(From a meditation on a beautiful Fall day… and, for future meditations to find peace…)
Consider this meditation by reading each line slowly and pausing to experience these words/thoughts.

Experience the feelings of being angry.
Experience the feelings of fear.
Experience the feelings of being sad.
Experience the feelings of being anxious.
Experience the feelings of the lack of control.

Learn the lesson of anger and accept it.
Learn the lesson of fear and accept it.
Learn the lesson of sadness and accept it.
Learn the lesson of anxiety and accept it.
Accept the lack of control. Accept that death is the outcome of living. It is not the enemy, it is an important transition.

Let go of anger.
Let go of fear.
Let go of sadness.
Let go of anxiety.
Let go of frustration.

Now say:
I am letting go of my anger.
I am letting go of my fear.
I am letting go of my anxiety.
I am letting go of my sadness.
I am letting go of my frustration with my lack of control and I am learning to accept the process of death for my loved ones and for myself. If possible, find grace in the final transition.

I am Joy!
I am Love!
I am Blessed!
I am Peace!

In my heart, I feel the glimmer of peace from acceptance…