Author Archives: admin

Empowerment: Get Back in Control

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Are you feeling that many things in your life are out of control? Does this feeling of “lack of control” make you feel stressed? Would you like to “Get Back in Control”?

There are many things that are important to you and yet beyond your control. These are the things that are the most stressful. Relationships are stressful and often beyond your control. The economy, world conflicts, global warming the fear of nuclear proliferation are all stressful and, in most cases, beyond your control. You may not be able to control other people’s actions or the global economy, but you can learn to control one important thing, the way you respond to these challenges.

To “Get Back in Control,” you most do 2 things. First, you must identify how you physically and emotionally respond to these stressors. This awareness will aid you in NOT becoming a Victim to your habitual patterns of holding stress. Secondly, you will want to learn how to change (and control) your responses. Biofeedback and stress management research have proven that any physical system that can be monitored in “real time” can be controlled. You can learn to control your: brainwaves, blood pressure, heart rate, muscle tension, blood flow/circulation, even the release of gastric juices. Through awareness and learned control, you can learn to change your habitual response to stress and invest your available energies in more appropriate and positive ways.

I recommend starting with temperature training biofeedback combined with a stress management strategy like Autogenic Training or visualization. You can learn to control your physiology and this will in turn lead to Empowerment. It is often reported by my coaching clients that: “things that used to bother me do not seem to bother me anymore (or the same way.)” My clients learn that they can get back in control of the their bodies’ and then their lives.
It may not change all of the stressful situations that surround you, but it will give you an opportunity to put things in perspective and make the best use of your available time and energy.

Please take good care of yourself.
L. John Mason, Ph.D.
www.dstress.com (360) 593-3833

Support from Friends

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When times are “difficult” emotionally, it can be great to get a supportive visit or call from a “healthy” friend. From recent personal experience, I can celebrate some recent visits and supportive contacts with some of my good friends. I hope that you have “good” and “healthy” friends in your life who can show up when life events turn difficult.

Good friends can be a loving distraction from distressing situations and, when timed properly, can be useful for getting perspective on difficult decisions. When you do not have to figure things out alone, in a “vacuum,” your best path toward solution can be more complete or simply a better one. When you have someone who you trust to share an emotional burden with then you can benefit in decision making and in support. When you are lucky enough to have “healthy” and caring people in your life, you can feel less alone and reduce the anxiety of your decision making.

There are times when your family may not be the best place to turn when you have a difficult decision to make especially when your family may be involved in the problem/challenge/concern/issue. There are times and certain family members that might be trustworthy or “healthy” and may not have your interests in mind when asked to help make a difficult decision. For example, if you are thinking about the “end of life” planning, family may have very personal reasons to not allow you to take the best path.

There are professional coaches or therapists or even clergy who you can go to for assistance in making decisions but sometimes finding the “right” professional to assist you can take as much time and energy as solving the challenge. The downside to confiding in friends is that you may have to be available, as a “healthy” friend when they need support which is different than when you hire a professional. Personally, I love the opportunity of giving back so support from good friends is not an emotional debt that concerns me.

The trick can be allowing yourself to be available to receive needed support. Many of us can give energy to others but find it difficult to be on the receiving side of the friendship equation. In my experience, moms and dads can be good at giving to their families but not good at getting the support when it can be returned. For perspective, I have found myself saying, “You are giving a great gift by allowing other people to give back to you.” And, this is true… People (friends) need to be allowed to “settle” their emotional debts and when NOT allowed to settle these “debts” can find themselves uncomfortable with allowing their relationship to continue, ’cause they do not want to continue the one way street of receiving…. (If they are “healthy” the debt can take its toll.)

I am blessed with having people in my life who can support me and offer perspective to me when I must make difficult decisions. I am blessed to have “healthy” people in my life who do not cloud a difficult situation with their own emotional baggage, as is possible. I have worked hard to connect with “healthy” people and I enjoy their friendship and, when possible, their company as I travel through my life. I work to maintain the important relationships because I like these people and want to be there for them and have them be there for me, when necessary. We are not all the type of people who can live happily isolated in a cave of life. So, celebrate your good, “healthy” relationships. Do the work to find and maintain these positive relationships. If you find yourself needing support when trustworthy friends who are unavailable, do not be too proud to reach out for “good” professional support.

In this light, visit or call or connect somehow with your network of healthy friends. Support them and allow them to support you. We must all reach out and walk through life as we move through our life’s lessons and it can expedite these lessons to have perspective from your healthy friends. We must all assist each other in developing the highest possible levels of consciousness.

AND, thank you to my good friends and family for being available for me as I work my way through my current challenges. I wish all readers to be as blessed as I am when it comes to supportive friends. It is worth the work of building and maintaining these relationships…

One last thing… We are never alone! We just have to become open to developing the connections with healthy, positive consciousness and to the source of our own souls.

Basking in the Afternoon Sunlight

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In celebration of an experience from April, 2012 – Posted by L. John Mason –

I live in the Northwest on an Island North of Seattle, WA. The region is famous for gray cool days that often have some sort of precipitation. In my nine year history, I have discovered that the sunny, warm times (and warm is relative) are August and September, also considered Summer. In Seattle and Portland, from October to July when the sunshine breaks through the clouds, people will stop what they are doing and rush outdoors for what is known locally as a “sun break.” You should also know that people who live, and the ones who thrive, in the Northwest are a hardy group who function decently in the cool dampness. People will not be stopped by rain when working or exercising because this “just comes with the territory.” I tell you this because there is a special appreciation that can be found in the Northwest for being touched by the warmth of the sun, BUT, this can hold true for many people outside the Northwest as well.

So I had an experience Sunday, last, that makes me pause and think of appreciation for some of things that can easily be overlooked or taken for granted. I went further North to visit a new friend in the city of Bellingham. For me, it was a chance to learn some of the secrets of this pleasant town which has plenty of charm, history, and a population of people who are influenced by the colleges found in town. We walked and talked as we strolled down the special trails that line the waterfront. We drifted into shops and chatted with shop owners and fellow pedestrians. We found many delightful things which made our quest enjoyable.

Later in the afternoon, I experienced that wonderful moment that makes a day memorable. I found myself sharing this large chair on the sunporch of my host. The warmth of the sunlight was streaming through the large windows and I felt myself peacefully melting into this chair. My eyes closed and I soaked up the warming, relaxing rays of sunshine. To make this better, I was sharing this with my wonderful new friend who allowed me to feel safe and most comfortable. Perhaps you have experienced moments like this and you can remember these as pleasant, healing experiences.

Having shared this image, I now have a significant memory to use when I pull up my visualizations of an ideal time of warmth and peace. So, if you find yourself needing a moment of relaxation consider sitting back comfortably in a safe, hopefully peaceful environment, and start by taking several deep slow breaths. Perhaps you feel cool air as you inhale and warm breath as you slowly exhale. You might even imagine that as the warm breath flows from you it seems to carry away unnecessary thoughts or energy. Continue breathing slowly and naturally allowing every slow breath to let you sink deeper into a state of peaceful relaxation. Perhaps, you can feel the relaxation beginning in your arms and legs. You may even be able to feel yourself slowly sinking back into whatever you are sitting or lying upon. Imagine that you can feel the warmth from the sun gently and safely shining down on you. Perhaps you can imagine that you can soak up this warmth and light, and this allows you to drift deeper into a peaceful dreamlike state of calmness. As you breathe slowly and gently, perhaps you can imagine that you can breathe in the sunlight and warmth, and allow this energy to bathe every cell in your body with healing energy. Every cell can soak up the perfect amount of this healing energy and unconditional love to allow the cells to heal and recharge. You can even begin to feel the feelings of joy and health and happiness welling up inside you. Perhaps you can celebrate this perfect moment of health and happiness and see yourself in perfect health, being active.

Enjoy those moments of your life when you can bask in the radiance of warmth and unconditional love. Hold these memories and feelings within your heart so you can pull these forward to heal and recharge yourself, when needed. AND, if you find yourself sharing a large chair, on the perfect sunporch, with a person who allows you to feel safe and comfortable, honor this moment as a special treasure.

As with other articles from this blog, if you require any additional support consider the information and services provided through the Stress Education Center and visit the website at www.dstress.com

Please take good care of yourself and bask in warmth and light, as often as you can.

Life Balance Quality of Life

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Since the “Information Age” began in the late 1970’s, we have been struggling to keep up with changes in technology and 24/7 streaming information. Consider the 1980’s and 1990’s when the information explosion included: fax machines, cell phones, personal computers, and the internet (world wide web-www.) In today’s world, we often feel that we are falling behind if we do not check our e-mail, text messages, facebook-twitter-myspace (etc) accounts, and have our cell phones turned on ALL THE TIME! There are many people who have no idea how to control their “connectedness” and will text while driving, at dinner, in their counseling appointments (I am NOT kidding,) in the bathroom, or even in other important meetings-classes-dates, etc. Maybe ADDICTION to this connectedness is the issue. Technology has driven us to rethink what Life Balance really looks like.

The concept of Life Balance has been around along time however, the challenge of how to achieve or maintain Life Balance has become a difficult dilemma. There are some major areas in most people lives that are necessary to maintain balance in life. Though we are focused on financial survival, focus only on our finances and our careers is not enough to sustain the highest qualities of life. Often we are trapped into thinking that if we made more money, had a bigger bank account, or had moved to the “better” job, we would be happy and healthy. For most of us, this is a false assumption. Besides money and a decent job, we need to be well-rounded in other important areas of our lives including: our family relationships, our world of friendships, continuing our educational pursuits, our health, participating in aesthetic or creative pursuits, and honoring our spirit. If any of these areas of our lives are not celebrated, with at least brief regular attention, we can suffer from “burnout” and a reduced quality of life. We may lack emotional well-being if we do find make time and put energy into these areas of our lives.

“Healthy” relationships with family and friends are more than just social outlets. It is life sustaining to develop and participate in positive connections with other people. Babies who do not have positive human connection do NOT thrive and can die even when they are provided with food and shelter. Most people need to connect and in our desperation to connect, we often settle for relationships with unhealthy people. This has been a problem that affects quality of life. We must guard against negativity in the people we must interact with and prevent ourselves from being drawn into other people’s “drama.” This is easier said than done…

Our psychological, emotional, and physical health requires regular work and attention. Many people take their health for granted. Many people put other people’s needs before themselves and eventually whither or burnout. Every one of us requires a different pattern of prevention to maintain our health and well-being, so you have to learn what your specific requirements are and do not fall into the trap of doing things that other people say you “should” do, when actually your requirements may be very different.

We must continue to learn and to grow. Life long learning keeps us going and interested in life. Waiting for TV to entertain us is usually not enough. We need to reach out and stimulate our brains with new and challenging situations.

Participating in aesthetically pleasing or creative endeavors is also required for the highest qualities of life. This may be appreciating works of art or going for a walk in nature. It may take the form of hobbies or crafts. It may be time spent creating or appreciating music. It is often shared with other people and aids in positive connections. It is a celebration of life and your own unique creativity. You do not have to be a great artist to celebrate the art that you encounter. And, this leads us to the celebration of our spirit.

Spiritual development is a necessary life sustaining activity. It is not a religious pursuit. It is a pursuit of higher connection to an aesthetic belief or activity. Honoring that positive exposure to nature or art through conscious meditation will help lead to a satisfying quest for your spirit. If we do not pursue understanding and celebration of our spirits, we can lack the depth which helps us to achieve the highest quality of life. To be clear, spiritual development does not require the practice of religion. The spirit does not dwell within a specific religious philosophy or the practice of ritual, for all people.

An additional life requirement for your consideration is the need in life to play or to have fun. A life is best lived when we find time for positive entertaining and joyful experiences. We can often overlook the need to have fun because other challenges are so pressing but people thrive when there is time and energy spent pursuing situations that can bring laughter or, at least, smiles to our daily existence. Please remember to play.

Balance in life requires a commitment to yourself. This commitment includes scheduling time and allocating energy to the various specific areas of your life. A well rounded and balanced life makes time for positive relationships, health practices, and the pursuit of creativity to feed the spirit. What are your requirements? What do you need to add to your life to be whole and complete? Can you be a positive role model for the the people who share your life?

If you require coaching to achieve life balance consider the coaching opportunities available through the Stress Education Center by contacting our website at www.dstress.com.

Toxic Managers an Executive Briefing

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Have you ever had a boss or manager who seemed to destroy the spirit of your organization? For whatever reason, their management or leadership style is noxious enough to make their personnel go from productive caring people to people who wish to sabotage the organization. Sometimes these managers are placed in their positions by executives who wish to “shake things up” in a certain department and this can turn out to backfire on them.

When toxic managers work their destructive “magic” on an organization, good, experience people leave. In the short term this may look good because it can reduce expenses, but if you lose good people, and the people who are left are passive aggressive, or more directly focused sabotage, then the organization turns unproductive and ultimately unprofitable. This destruction can be blamed on the “line” staff as an excuse, saying that “THEY” did not cope with change. But the real responsibility lies with the executive who placed the toxic manager in their new position. These executives are rarely held responsible for their bad decisions.

This is not an innocent mistake! It is a calculated escalation of bad judgment, laziness, and fear driven thinking that the incompetent executive rains down upon the department, and the organization. If they did their jobs correctly, they would have had better leaders/managers in position giving the proper training or support in the first place. So the executive is the real saboteur and yet can often sidestep the mess that they have created.

Executives need to be held accountable. They need effective coaching, mentorship, leadership, and support. You know this sounds like advice that politicians, business, government, healthcare, military, and education leadership could all benefit from practicing. Sometimes, poor leadership does not know when to ask for coaching or support. Sometimes their egos just get in the way. Whatever their excuse for bad leadership, they are responsible for the reduced productivity and poor performance of their organization.

Know your people. Do not let toxic managers subvert your organization’s work and productivity. Take responsibility and do the difficult work of finding the “right” people to manage and then let them take credit for their good work. (You can not know your people if you do not know yourself!)

Being a great manager or leader does not usually come without support, coaching, and mentoring. If you or your organization can benefit from executive coaching consider contacting the Stress Education Center at www.dstress.com for an interview that can lead to a proposal that can lead to your success.

Would You Be More Successful if Your Were Authentic?

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What is “Authentic,” “Genuine,” and “Real”?

Would knowing who you really are allow you to be happier and to make better choices in your life?
When we are talking about people and how they comport themselves in the world, I have wondered whether many people would pass the test of being “authentic, genuine, and real?” Now that I have posed that question, I also wonder whether people really care about how they behave as they choose to live their lives. For me, the search for answers begins with finding the definitions of these words based on internet dictionaries… (Most relevant to this article are definitions which are emboldened and underlined.)

Please work your way through these definitions and the article will continue on the other side…

Definition of AUTHENTIC Webster’s
3. not false or imitation : real, actual
5. true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character

Or au·then·tic adjective
1. not false or copied; genuine; real: an authentic antique.
2. having the origin supported by unquestionable evidence; authenticated; verified: an authentic document of the Middle Ages; an authentic work of the old master.
3. entitled to acceptance or belief because of agreement with known facts or experience; reliable; trustworthy: an authentic report on poverty in Africa

Definition of GENUINE
1 actually having the reputed or apparent qualities or character b : actually produced by or proceeding from the alleged source or author c : sincerely and honestly felt or experienced d : actual, true
2 free from hypocrisy or pretense : sincere

adjective
1. possessing the claimed or attributed character, quality, or origin; not counterfeit; authentic; real: genuine sympathy; a genuine antique.
2. properly so called: a genuine case of smallpox.
3. free from pretense, affectation, or hypocrisy; sincere: a genuine person.
4. descended from the original stock; pure in breed: a genuine Celtic people.
Synonyms
1. See authentic. 3. true, unaffected, open, honest, forthright.

Definition of REAL:
Real describes something that is true and authentic or something is very important or significant. (adjective)
1. An example of real is an actual designer purse as opposed to a fake.
2. An example of real is a serious problem.

re·al adjective
1. true; not merely ostensible, nominal, or apparent: the real reason for an act.
2. existing or occurring as fact; actual rather than imaginary, ideal, or fictitious: a story taken from real life.
3. being an actual thing; having objective existence; not imaginary: The events you will see in the film are real and not just made up.
4. being actually such; not merely so-called: a real victory.
5. genuine; not counterfeit, artificial, or imitation; authentic: a real antique; a real diamond; real silk
Or
1. a. Being or occurring in fact or actuality; having verifiable existence: real objects; a real illness.
b. True and actual; not imaginary, alleged, or ideal: real people, not ghosts; a film based on real life.
c. Of or founded on practical matters and concerns: a recent graduate experiencing the real world for the first time.
2. Genuine and authentic; not artificial or spurious: real mink; real humility.
3. Being no less than what is stated; worthy of the name: a real friend.
4. Free of pretense, falsehood, or affectation: tourists hoping for a real experience on the guided tour.
5. Not to be taken lightly; serious: in real trouble

Definition of SNARKY (Why “snarky”? Because many people attempt to behave in this way and seem to be opposite to actually being “real, authentic, and genuine”.)
adj. snark·i·er, snark·i·est Slang
1. Rudely sarcastic or disrespectful; snide.
2. Irritable or short-tempered; irascible.
adjective: Informal touchy, short-tempered, irritable,

Everyone seems to be able to achieve the status of being authentic, genuine, and real a part of the time. The amount of this time varies greatly based on how important it may seem to be real as opposed to being in a “role” of being the type of character (or person) you may need or want to be seen as. I believe that too many of us spend too much time “acting” or pretending to be someone else because we are not comfortable being who we actually are… I also believe that these “roles” are so comfortable and prevalent that we often do not have a good idea of how to be authentic, genuine or real because we DO NOT KNOW who we actually are… In fact, this lack of self-knowledge, self-acceptance, personal insight, and authenticity is common, accepted, and often preferred by both the person playing the role and the people whom they encounter. Perhaps it is simply easier than being real or genuine.

What would the advantage be to being authentic, genuine, and real?
Would this make life more satisfying?
Would this help to make relationships more solid or real?
Should people strive to be more demonstrative of whom they really are?
And, how do you get to be more authentic, genuine, and real, and live in this true form?

When you meet a person who is genuine and real do you find that you can “TRUST” that person more easily because they do not seem inauthentic? Do relationships benefit from moments when the people in the relationship achieve an interaction which is sincere and genuine?

When we are born, we are genuine, authentic, and real. But, things get complicated and we develop filters by which we begin to experience the world. These filters may be cultural, or from family values, or political, or burdened by religious teachings. We then evaluate and “judge” other people and interactions based on these filters and we often find ourselves acting in character from the filters which we have adopted. Babies are not born as: “born again Christians,” or Muslin Extremists, or “right-wing” angry conservative Republicans, or “left-wing” “bleeding-heart liberals,” or drug addicted “street people,” or over-educated intellectual snobs, or rabid football fans, or tattooed, NASCAR enthusiasts. Babies are exposed to these philosophies and adopt these characteristics from the role models they live with. With that said, are these developed personalities authentic, genuine, or real?

How does common sense, or the lack thereof, play a role in living as a genuine person?
Is the definition of “phony” (or acting “fake”) the opposite of authentic, genuine, and real?

When the time comes that a person realizes that they are not as authentic as they may want to be, how does a person find their way back to an authentic self? And, how will they really know that they have gotten to that internal place of being genuine, real, and authentic? (Is it a feeling of insight or can it be understood by an evaluation process?)

Does being “real” allow for unfiltered, inappropriate, snarkiness and uninhibited impulsivity? In this day and age, many people express themselves through a cynical, sarcastic, and caustic style that seems to be in vogue with many celebrities and pundits who are allowed vast amounts of media exposure. As a society, the tolerance, acceptance, and celebration of this style of behavior appear to communicate the insecurity and need to be condescending toward fellow citizens. This lack of tolerance and respect seems endemic in our culture. Why do we have to put other people or concepts down just to aggrandize ourselves or our opinions?

Also, is there a time in people’s lives when they realize that they have been chasing a dream or expectations that may prove unsatisfying for them? When we are young do we impulsively strive for a cultural expectation of “success” that during “mid-life” (mid-30’s to late 40’s) changes dramatically causing dissatisfaction and unhappiness which can cause dramatic changes in career choices, relationships, and lifestyles? Would better self-awareness with authenticity allow for greater life satisfaction before, during, and after these mid-life travails? Does the desire for mid-life change denote a need to strive toward greater self-awareness, authenticity or genuineness?

It has been a common belief that self-realization gives you power because you know and better understand your own strengths and weaknesses/flaws. If you can remove yourself from being a victim to your expectations or unconscious characters (the roles we assume should bring us happiness or success), then you can make better life choices and find your path to satisfaction and happiness. It may prove difficult and confusing to wade through the old self-concepts and roles that may be getting in your way, however you can achieve self-awareness and a greater sense of being “authentic, genuine, and real.”

If you wish to explore how to become more “authentic” or genuine, with the possibility of increased self-acceptance, consider coaching from the Stress Education Center at www.dstress.com The Stress Education Center offers a coaching process which offers increased self-awareness, personal control, and a self-realization that will allow greater success and life satisfaction.
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Happy Valentines Day! Hold the Expectations

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It is that time of year, again… The celebration of romance or the horror of the lack of romance. The sale of flowers, cards, candy, jewelry, balloons, dinners out, even fancy underwear will all be way up, but will anybody truly find any happiness? I like romance, but the pressure to be romantic and the expense of romantic expectations make me crazy… Yes, the “Stress Guy” gets stressed out by EXPECTATIONS… I am a victim of my own mind… But, so are the people who are fine, satisfied and happy without a significant relationship who somehow can feel lonely on this weird, and manufactured, holiday.

The part I enjoy is going out early on Valentines Day to the well supplied supermarkets. Usually, there are several “stations” set up for the desperate, last minute male Valentines buyers to race through in their anxiety, fear, and clueless-ness. Yup, tables of flowers and cards and candy and jewelry and balloons, etc… Then, I stand in line with desperate men and remind them that they have forgotten one or more of the items, and then watch them leap out of line to obtain the forgotten expectation.

Does anybody really feel loved when they receive a pile of Valentine expectations??? Romance is NOT dead, we just do not have enough time or money these days… The handmade gift or card or dinner seem more thoughtful and loving to me, but what do I know… I have been told by higher authorities on romance (like my sister) that one red rose is more romantic than a mega-buttload of red roses. (Mega-buttload means a lot of…)

Sincere acknowledgement should be enough, and often is, unless the nightmare of run-away expectations somehow take over. Please be gentle, and appreciate the thought, even if it is simple, pure, and innocent.

And, by the way, to the memory of my loving wife, I treasured our time together. As always, please be my Valentine….

You Are Loved…Near Death Experience of Heaven

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A past blog was titled “Proof of Heaven” based partly on the book by that name written by Dr. Eben Alexander. He wrote the story of his own near death experience (NDE) and about some of the “lessons” that he learned while being “out of his body…” His story was similiar to many that I have read about from interviews with people who had near death experiences. Two researchers, Raymond Moody and Ken Ring, have documented hundreds of these people. I am sure that there are many other researchers collecting these accounts from people from around the world. If you are interested, there are books written that have fascinated me in my research.

On page 71 of the “Proof of Heaven” (in my paperback version of Eben ALexander’s book) I quote the most basic, AND important, lesson that he received from his NDE. These were the concepts/feelings that he received while meeting the supreme being of love and light (perhaps God).
1.) “You are loved and cherished”…
2.) “You have nothing to fear.” and,
3.) “There is nothing you can do wrong.”

These are words to LIVE by. Who would not want to know that you are “loved and cherished?” Yes, even the “bad guys” and the people have made terrible situations (perhaps accidents) happen in the world. It takes time to digest and the Buddhists have been offering this philosophy for thousands of years, knowing that it requires a long time to actually know and FEEL this to be true. I challenge you to explore this belief, even better when you do NOT put the filters of one religion or another on your research. Find the truth from your spirit as found in your “gut” response and how it truly feels to you.

We may not know for sure whether these words and thoughts hold true until we experience our ultimate transition, but it gives me comfort that my loved ones are in a better place and I may join them when my time has come.

Live with grace. Bask in love. AND, fear not the end of life transition that we must all face.

What is Your Legacy?

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What is Your Legacy?
How does this Affect Your Life?

lega•cy (leg?? s?)
noun pl. legacies -•cies
1. money or property left to someone by a will; bequest
2. anything handed down from, or as from, an ancestor
3. a student applying or admitted to a college or university who is a relative of an alumnus

A consideration (for me) born in 2010…

Though I must admit, I have never really considered what my relationship is to this word or concept, I did begin a small survey on this subject. For reasons I can not explain, the consideration of the concept of my own legacy started while I was sitting in auditorium listening to a concert performance. So on the drive home, I started a conversation with my wife and my sister regarding what “Legacy” really might mean to me. It dawned on me that this might actually be an important consideration for how I might behave as I live my life. What you may not know about me, and a perhaps an important piece of information about me, is I will be turning 60 on my next birthday. This may have something to do with my thought process.

So what does the concept of “Legacy” mean beyond the dictionary definition. We discussed a possible broader description of the concept than leaving money or property as a legacy. We discussed what it means beyond handing “something” down to the next generations. We tried to settle on the concept that “a Legacy” might include a “Karmic” or “Psychic” legacy of intended or unintended “good deeds” that are either acknowledged or unacknowledged. By your own definition, of leaving a positive footprint on the world you walk upon in your life. Doing something good for the world. For example, my sister suggested that she tried to do at least 3 “good deeds” per day, like letting another driver into traffic instead of cutting them off or making them wait. I believe that these good deeds do build an increased level of “good karmic energy” but do not quite meet my concept of leaving a legacy.

For me, a “Legacy” might include a planned or unplanned connection with another person or organization which causes a change in movement into a more positive direction (my definition of positive.) For example, the afternoon I spent with a friend that convinced him, or more accurately, influenced him to become a physician rather than to follow his other choice of becoming a lawyer. And, he did train to become a physician.

Or perhaps, a legacy which includes raising children who by action are instilled with the “nature” to do good in the world. I can not claim full responsibility for early training that lead my sons to be altruistic people who consider “giving back” a part of daily activities, where being of service is a way of life. I have no control over how my sons conduct their daily business and many who know our family would say that their mother has instilled in them a higher set of values to be of service than I have, so I can not really, honestly, claim my sons’ good work as my legacy.

My work has been part of my legacy. I have attempted to provide good service to people and organizations and this good service includes experiences in good health and well being for people to model. But, on the occasion that someone who I have coached or trained approaches me and offers an comment of appreciation for some part of an interaction with me or my work that may have had a positive effect upon their life, I can not fully feel that I can accept responsibility or blame for this movement. It was their choice to use the information or experience to make positive change in their life. They had to follow through and to do the work to make the change.

So I wondered whether the concept of legacy somehow meant that this concept required a grander action like getting a wing of a hospital endowed and then named after me or my family. Most people can not qualify to leave a legacy at this level. So my confusion continues. How should I live my life, and do my work, with concept of leaving a positive legacy of my time walking, in this current body, on the Earthly plane of existence?… (Notice the Eastern concept of Karma and re-incarnation in my thought process.) I would like to maintain my vigilance and offer a life of service and good intentions in my work. I would like to be known as a good friend, a good husband, a good father, and possibly a good: teacher, trainer, coach, clinician….. Perhaps most importantly, I would like to be known for being a person who listened well enough to be able to share a moment in time with another person (or persons) where all participants felt the positive impact of this connection. Yes, I would like to be known for respecting my partners in communication enough to create a bond that allows for deeper examination and adjustments that lead to positive movement.

But what does “Legacy” mean for you? By considering your legacy, will this influence the way you choose to live and work? Will you set goals, and follow through, that include reaching out to your partners in life’s experiences and create bonds where trust and support will create positive change?

I am not sure I fully understand why I have not taken the time to consider the concept of Legacy until I reached the milestone of a 60th birthday but I know that I am never too old or too young to start the process of self-examination of my life’s purpose and how to move toward a life of greater service.

Are YOU looking for your “Legacy?” As part of my “legacy,” I offer information and coaching on stress management and improving productivity through my website at www.dstress.com. I hope that this provides you with some useful information.

Zen and the Art of Beach Combing

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This past weekend, I was searching for sea shells on a beach in Ferndale, WA. It reminded me of the many times I found solace as I have walked beaches around the world…

Most of us have had the experience of walking on a beach. We have walked by the ocean or by a lake or by a river and as we walk we look for interesting things that have been washed up on the beach. The experience “absorbs” us by filling our minds with the present moment and what treasure can be spotted.

The act of walking by any body of water is relaxing for most of us. If the weather is calm and we do not fear bodies of water, then we can feel the soothing calmness that moving water can provide. I have been told that water gives off “negative ions” which are supposed to be relaxing (for most of us.) Moving water resonates at about 10 cycles per second and as our brains mimic or resonate with this pace, we can drift into an “alpha” brainwave state (which is a meditative and relaxing state for most of us.) Just the act of walking outdoors by water seems to relax us and this is enhanced by walking barefoot over warm sand as we feel the sunshine and listen for sounds of birds…

In fact, many people use similar images as a relaxation visualization that can soothe and even help to heal. We can benefit from a mental vacation and the peaceful rest of a brief Zen meditation. Perhaps we remember a beach that we have strolled upon. Perhaps we contemplate a walk down a beach that we have wished to visit. The very thought has powerful positive qualities. Adding details makes it richer and more powerful while also helping us to escape, for a moment, our normal beach-less lives.

I challenge you to dream. Image yourself walking, or better still, walk the beaches of the world and then lose yourself in the wonderful pleasure of this peace and beauty. This will heal your mind, body, and spirit.