Whose Lesson are YOU Learning From?

Recently, I chose to join a team supporting a friend who is battling with cancer. Have you ever participated in a community of support persons for a family member or friend dealing with a difficult disease? Chances are you have or have become familiar with such a support community. My question to you asks, was there an important lesson for you in your desire to serve as a supporter? In every interaction we share, there is much to learn especially if you are conscious and viewing these interactions with awareness.

So, I discovered, upon my reflecting upon my recent involvement, that my desire to support my friend is more complicated than I care or that I want to send some positive energy. My lesson is a multi-dimensional learning. It does feel good to participate in sending Love or possibly healing energy to my friend but I have had to stop and ask myself why. Why am I involved? Why is my friend sick? What is her lesson in this disease process? What is my lesson in participating in her disease challenge? What lessons, experiences, or information will present themselves so I can increase in value toward the people I bump into in my future? So, how does this expand me with a story to share? I “know” that every person touched by this health event has some purpose and some important lesson to take away.

Caring about my friend is the simple reason and a small part of the answer. My history includes a battle that my wife and I “fought” with cancer over 8 1/2 years and there are many important lessons learned from this past experience that now resurface and contribute to my purpose in involvement in this present supportive community. The “first” time through (with my wife’s illness,) fear and anxiety of the situation and the unknown were on the front burner for me. Now, I can serve as a more experienced supporter or even an elder in the current “fight.” This is NOT about my friends health challenge, it is a test for me born out my past traumatic experience and for the lessons learned. At a level of spiritually, one of my purposes is to see a bigger picture and ask questions which are bigger than simply dealing with symptoms, healing my friend, and the current disease.

Whose lesson is it, really? How is my friend’s condition serving as an important learning process for every one of us who have chosen to be involved? And, with this perspective in mind, how is my friend, consciously or unconsciously, in a broad way of huge service to this extended community of supporters and caregivers. I ask this because I wonder if we all are more consciously aware of the broader lessons, we can ALL find more Joy in the amazing gift of learning we are all participating within!!!???…

Can this drama in life be viewed with less anger, anxiety, depression, fear, and concern for the unknown future if we bear this positive learning in our awareness? Can this positive awareness then bear a positive impact upon the results of this health challenge? This may be too complicated to fully determine in these few thoughts and words. You are participating with your concern and YOU are Loved for your positive intentions and attention.

Finally, no matter the outcome, can we find Joy in the challenge we see unfolding? Are we free to celebrate the Divine Wisdom which is being gifted to us as we plod along in our human drama?

By the way, in my opinion, one of the greatest gifts you can “Give” to another person is the “Gift” of allowing them to give to you… (Not manipulating another person but requesting a sincere assistance.) This can warm the heart of both sides of this request and can create a bond for two pilgrims walking the path through life’s dramas. Create a healing story by giving and by receiving a gift…
Thank you to all the souls who have allowed me to be of service.

You are a Blessing! Thank you for being you.

Thanks for your time and consideration. Your insights and experiences are unique and a blessing, so please share these…

If you are READY and looking for a supportive community where you can share your story, your wisdom, and grow spiritually in a non-religious environment, consider Masters of the Journey.
You are a Blessing! You are a Master! Your wisdom from your life experience can have great value to other pilgrims on the path toward awakening and enlightenment.

The Masters of the Journey has events which are updated on our Facebook page which is found at: www.facebook.com/mastersofthejourney Please comment on this blog and share, if appropriate. More of our blogs are based on spiritual consciousness and can be found at www.dstress.com/blog

When Wisdom is Wise

I love speaking with people especially when these people have a passion for what they are sharing. I bask in the glow of their excitement and passion even if it is not a good fit for me. Passion is different than Wisdom much of the time. Speaking with people and hearing their stories or listening to memories does not always lead to discovering new Wisdom. There is a skill, born from empathy, which leads one person to share their story where it matches their listening partner’s needs. Your Wisdom may not be wise for another person. And, your interesting story or message may not be as interesting to a distracted communication partner.

I was asked to speak with a man whose younger wife had passed away leaving him to raise a young daughter. Why was this request made of me? Because my life partner, and wife, of nearly 28 years transitioned in early 2012. My struggling friend was attempting to make sense of his family’s loss. We spoke of the vacuum left behind, of which I was very familiar. We spoke about the Spiritual lessons that were available for he and his daughter to learn. My “Wisdom” was to share with him that I had gone through my loss and the grieving process so I could be of service to other people who needed love and support from a “survivor.” I told him to pay attention because he and his daughter would have important lessons, Wisdom, to share at some point in their future.

This example fit for my friend. It offered little in the way of immediate answers but did offer a broader perspective he benefitted from being exposed to. It matched some of his needs. It would have been less effective if my story told him the best way to change a spark plug or how to order online. Yes, Wisdom is in the “eye of the beholder.” No way can I know his pain or his grief or his confusion, but I could support him with my experience of survival and the perspective which I have discovered in this similar type life experience. AND, I learned so much by retelling my story from the perspective of these years since the transition of my bride.

You have value and purpose! You are supposed to offer your support and service to the pilgrims you bump into on your path through this life. When possible, share your knowledge and especially your Wisdom, when your communication partner matches up with your past experience. Your perspective, and this support, is so greatly needed AND you will learn more as you retell your valuable story. Remember, it helps to be empathetic and offer your story if it matches well your partner’s need and if your partner is ready, and willing, to hear it…

Thanks for your time and consideration. Your insights and experiences are unique and a blessing, so please share these…

If you are READY and looking for a supportive community where you can share your story, your wisdom, and grow spiritually in a non-religious environment, consider Masters of the Journey.
You are a Blessing! You are a Master! Your wisdom from your life experience can have great value to other pilgrims on the path toward awakening and enlightenment.

The Masters of the Journey has events which are updated on our Facebook page which is found at: www.facebook.com/mastersofthejourney Please comment on this blog and share, if appropriate. More of our blogs are based on spiritual consciousness and can be found at www.dstress.com/blog

Wisdom Sharing Project

Is there an interest in connecting generations to share wisdom experienced from a lifetime of learning? There is no doubt that there is a need for wisdom sharing! Do the Elders in our culture want to leave a legacy of wisdom to assist broadening the perspectives of younger generations? Do the culturally admired youth in our society want to hear from Elders and gain wisdom from learned experience? Is anyone interested in an honest sharing of the struggles and the insights coming out of the pursuit for higher consciousness and spiritual development?

If I had the answers or found the model of these queries being answered, I would not have to write this blog post. My relatively recent new role as a Grandparent has me considering how I can best serve my grandson, Mr Milo. I am creating resources for him including: a list of books I have read, blogs and articles I have written, videos I have recorded, and even specific writing on subjects “Guidance” has asked me to share with him. Storytelling and holding him in love is also part of this process. But, I am not the only Baby Boomer who has a legacy of chasing after consciousness to share. So, I ask again, Is it worth the effort to attempt to create resources of wisdom to offer to younger generations? Or, should the coming generations be left to find their own way without any possible shortcuts or support from their elders? For thousands of years, old and young would sit in circles around the campfire and share stories. Has our new worship of technology made this inter-generational activity unnecessary?

Sharing your story is not simply for the witness/listener. It is a blessing for the storyteller. The wisdom sharing elder can revisit, even relive, their transformative experience and from the new perspective of distance and growth, can learn new, vital elements of past revelations. 40 years after I had compelling information from meditations in my 20’s, I recently learned new things from recent retelling of these stories. Stuff I did not know, or was willing to know, from those experiences of 40 years ago. (Or, perhaps I was not ready to “know” back then…)

What experiences in your life created massive change for you? Chances are you had a major life challenge and somehow you survived. Perhaps, you were able to adapt and integrate this new perspective into your life. It may have even sent you off into a different direction than you might have expected. This wisdom can have value to other people, especially, the younger generations who will be confronted in similar ways at some point in their lives. If nothing else, it is great to know that someone else survived these similar challenges and can feel supported by a parallel story.

Can the younger generations put down their technologies and look into the eyes of a wise, caring storyteller? This is not in vogue or discussed much in social media. (At least not in a positive, open to listening, kind of way.) Valuable insights can be lost with this separation of generations. Our culture looks to divide older people from the youth. Fear drives this reduced interaction. Impatience and Judgement get in the way. Attention spans are shortening and not for the better of considering consciousness and mindfulness. The “present” is being lost to upsets from the “past” and fears/anxieties of the “future.”

What needs to happen (for your consideration):
TRAINING what questions to ask… yourself and your children regarding what details AND EXPERIENCES to share.
Building your Legacy of Wisdom from the challenges you have survived. Look into your feelings and not the projection of dogma which may have been imposed upon you. (Be authentic, and real, and genuine in expressing your struggle and how you found your way through very real and very common interactions.)
Preparing the storyteller to share their story most effectively can be helpful.
Preparing the witness/listener to focus, to ask open ended questions, and avoid distracting interruptions can be helpful.
Inter-generational communication and interactions serve both sides of this experience.

Share Your Wisdom to assist the future generations. It is Your Legacy.
Share Your Wisdom to assist YOU! By retelling your story you gain perspective of the person you are NOW as you share your story from past experience. You get to see it and know it from a different angle.

YOU are a Blessing!

Thanks for your time and consideration. Your insights and experiences are unique and a blessing, so please share these…

If you are READY and looking for a supportive community where you can share your story, your wisdom, and grow spiritually in a non-religious environment, consider Masters of the Journey.
You are a Blessing! You are a Master! Your wisdom from your life experience can have great value to other pilgrims on the path toward awakening and enlightenment.

The Masters of the Journey has events which are updated on our Facebook page which is found at: www.facebook.com/mastersofthejourney Please comment on this blog and share, if appropriate. More of our blogs are based on spiritual consciousness and can be found at www.dstress.com/blog

Meditation for the New Year

It is time for Meditation! The calendar tell us that we are beginning a New Year. This year will be as filled, or sadly, even more filled with turmoil and change. It is time for us to bring Wisdom, Awareness, Love and Joy to our cultures as we struggle with the impact of accelerated evolution! We can fear this evolution or we can embrace it! We can know the benefits of our struggles which will eventually lead us out of fear and into a radiant light. (Or, we can hide in our fear and let anger hold us back from our appointment with enlightenment.)

Wow, what wonderful times we live in! So many billions of us have shown up at this age of mankind to witness and participate together in the chaos which leads to awareness and then to a higher Divine Consciousness. If we get stuck dwelling in fear and anger, we will find ways to manifest this darker consciousness. If we embody Joy, and Love, and Remember our Connection to the Divine Wisdom, we can be the “Lightworkers” we came here to be! This does not mean we have to approve of all the weird behaviors we bump into. However, we must engage in the lessons which we are confronted with.

To better prepare you to bring light and love into this world, you must honor and prepare yourself. We can only take responsibility for our own actions (and reactions.) We must regularly “ground out” the judgements we make and fold our hearts around the brilliant light of peace. Yes, this is easier said than done. I will not argue with you. We can create a healing buffer to surround each of us. Not to insulate but to nurture our core where the “Joy” resides and then shines out to bask the world in the healing energy of Love!

So, our meditation can include a time to “Ground Out” and to find our balance. Breathe in slowly and fully. Pause for a moment. As you slowly exhale, imagine that you can release excess energy with the warm breath you release! On the next breath, feel the cool, soothing air as you slowly inhale. Pause and then slowly release the warm breath. Do this several times until you can join your body in the “Present Moment.” Then continue to breathe slowly in and out with an image that you are drawing in Golden White Light to Heal Yourself with every breath. As you exhale imagine that you can send this Golden White Light and this Unconditional Love and Support out to everyone in the world. Focus on those people you love and then on all the rest of the planet. It is a blessing that you give this energy unconditionally as a gift to all living things in our Universe (and beyond.) This meditation does not have to be more complicated or drawn out. Focus on Love and Joy. Look for the positive growth from every interaction. Take responsibility for what you give out to this world! Choose LOVE! When you laugh out loud, laugh like no one is watching. Embrace Joy!

By the way, the more of us who can engage in this meditation, sending out unconditional Love and Joy, the stronger this will resonate and have greater impact on Universal Consciousness Development!!!

Whether you know it or not, You are a Master. You are a Healer. Without you and your soul/spirit, the Universe can not exist. So play YOUR part! Actively give and share love. Know that your positive light shines brightly and everyone & everything is better for sensing that your unconditional love as it is radiated outward.

Remember Your Divinity! Remember the Perfection of the Spirit within YOU! Remember to enjoy these tough lessons we have come here to experience and remember that we will be better and stronger from embracing these challenges NOW rather than having to repeat this learning again in our future incarnations. When you say Namaste, LIVE Namaste! We are all in this together, joined by our Divine Spirits. See the person in front of you knowing that at a deeper level they are YOU! Help them. Serve them! Support awareness and consciousness until WE ALL reach enlightenment.

Along the way, use Meditation to find your center and then higher consciousness. Meditation is not complicated it is an attempt to be “Present” and open to Divine Wisdom. (These few words are interesting. You following through makes these words Powerful!)

If you are READY and looking for a supportive community where you can share your story, your wisdom, and grow spiritually in a non-religious environment, consider Masters of the Journey. You are a Blessing! You are a Master!

The Masters of the Journey has events which are updated on our Facebook page which is found at: www.facebook.com/mastersofthejourney Please comment on this blog and share, if appropriate. More of our blogs are based on spiritual consciousness and can be found at www.dstress.com/blog

Guidance Led Me to Masters of the Journey

Guidance is the only possible explanation. Guidance from a greater, “Divine” source led me to developing the Masters of the Journey community.

Sure, many people admit to needing or wanting to participate in a community, in our ever divided culture. We all require some connection with other people as we move along our path through life. We all need role models or support or mentors or teachers to learn the difficult things we feel drawn to learn. I have been many things in my life but this is the first venture into creating a community. A community which offers a place to connect with other people who are engaged in developing their spiritual consciousness and offering support, or desiring to be supported by, other pilgrims who share this path moving toward higher consciousness. (AND, we are ALL on this path, whether you know this or not…)

My background has been “rational” and worldly. Not always “practical” but rooted in rational thoughts and intellectual theory. My personality was born to be oppositional, finding a road less traveled. With some major negative experiences in growing up (we all have these in our lives,) I was disapproving of religion and most religious training. My views were more atheistic than agnostic. I loved science and rational explanations. Still do. Now along the way, I had more than my share of mystical, metaphysical experiences but did not give these much conscious thought in my earlier years. They were interesting, cool, and seemingly irrelevant.

Examples: At 19 years of age and as an unhappy student at UCLA, I was guided into an “out of the body” visualization to discover what “Death” was all about. My naiveté allowed me to go into this weird and mystical experience. Only after reporting my experience to the group’s leader did it dawn on me that this was a “special” and important experience. And, it still is… My major insight has been that death is NOT the enemy or scary. This frees me to live more fully, with less fear and anxiety. Secondly, I was drawn to meditation in my early twenties and was “gifted” with some amazing visions including visiting the “River of Life” which allowed me to feel universal connection, “oneness,” and the thought that life was comprised of many lives where, learning or remembering our Divine Spirit within, was briefly demonstrated. (For no rational reason, this drew a tear, of joy, to my youthful eye!)

But, I have been enmeshed in a rational world and life where my work, my relationships, and my family became my focus and my “PURPOSE.” This perspective has been changing into a broader view of life. My wife of 28 years was diagnosed with terminal Ovarian cancer 19 years into our marriage. Our lives and our focus changed dramatically. For me, it was a time of learning empathy and how to be a caretaker. The experience, which I would not wish on anyone, was so very important for me. My difficult, painful, lessons were most spectacular and my consciousness has changed dramatically. Since my wife’s transition in January of 2012, I have filled the “Void” in my life with a search for my new purpose or, if unsuccessful in this search, to find my way to transition into my Divine Spirit between lives (more clearly, to join my wife’s spirit in her “better place.”) In 2015, after travels which seemed unsuccessful to my rational self, I found my new path. Guidance offered me experiences which lead me to working in an overt metaphysical lifestyle. My meditation practice was expanded into studying: the Course in Miracles, the Way of Mastery, near death experiences, intuition/psychic ability, drumming, and heading back to a church-like experience at Unity Spiritual Center in Bellingham, WA. This felt weird to me but wonderful.

The spirit of my wife showed up and herded me into experiences and consciousness which has helped me to begin to consciously remember the Divine Spirit. My purpose was spelled out for me, so simply and clearly even I could understand. My new role was not to be a Guru, because I do not have the training or temperament to be a Guru, but to help organize a non-religious support community where people can join together and share their stories and their wisdom. My brief partner in this project formation suggested we call this, Masters of the Journey, believing that WE are all MASTERS and just need to remember our perfection and our connection with the Divine Wisdom.

For the past two years (since mid-2015,) I have basked in this work as my reason for living. My purpose in life which is so completely different from any work which I have done before (in this life.) I am still oppositional in my way, but I can feel good about this non-traditional approach to build a consciousness development community.

Perhaps guidance has lead YOU to this article. Perhaps your guidance has lead you to be a part of Masters of the Journey: a Transformational Community. If this is not for you, then I hope that you find the support and the community that will be most appropriate for your development of consciousness and toward Remembering the Perfect Divine Spirit within YOU. You are a blessing!

Whether you know it or not, you are a Master! Your “Enlightenment” is within YOU and you can find a way to “Remember” your connection, and the part you play, in the Divine Spirit!

The Masters of the Journey has events which are updated on our Facebook page which is found at: www.facebook.com/mastersofthejourney Please comment on this blog and share, if appropriate. More of our blogs are based on spiritual consciousness and can be found at www.dstress.com/blog

Masters of the Journey’s Guiding Principles

The Masters of the Journey: Transformational Community offers you a list of our guiding principles. Would you consider getting involved with our new community to support you moving toward your spiritual goals?

1. Take responsibility for your life
2. Do not blame or make excuses
3. Love Yourself & accept all parts even weaknesses-flaws-imperfections. For these are the “lessons” you here to learn from.
4. Grounding (daily as a practice)
5. Meditation (daily as a practice)
6. Keep your eyes up! Look to the Horizon
7. Set goals – celebrate success. Honor and celebrate your challenges.
8. Never give up on your passion & your dreams
9. Love Nature & Mother Earth… Appreciate the beauty of life. Find Beauty Every Day
10. Learn to Listen:
A. Be Focused
B. Maintain Eye Contact
C. Mind clear of strong judgement/other thoughts of response
D. Ask Supportive, clarifying Questions

11. Be open for Love and Connection (learn to share and to love)
12. Learn better to control: stress, fear, anxiety – Learn to Let Go. Choose LOVE!
13. Practice the skill of self-acceptance- then develop self-love
14. Love and Protect all Children- Cherish their souls – Celebrate youthful enthusiasm, Innocence
15. Daily exercise and meditation is important
16. Build a solid Foundation – self-care/grounding, open your heart to unconditional love & then share it – Love unconditionally
17. Oneness: ALL of us are on the pilgrimage together some of us are more conscious than others – reach around & give all those you touch support and assistance so WE can all evolve together.
18. Embrace each moment as best you can! Each moment is a microcosm of all life & all consciousness – GRACE
19. Build a healthy support team –Find Your Courage – Celebrate your process & the success/gifts of learning.
20. Find Your Passion! Live your Passion! NO excuses! Along the way, do something good everyday- Perform a daily “Mitzvah” (a good deed)
21. Honor your mentors & healthy role models. Learn to bask in the wisdom they share (or provide to you)
22. Look to Create Good in the World. Do not miss the opportunity to acknowledge & celebrate good deeds & creative demonstrations of passion!
23. Turn off (or at least turn it down) TV & Media – Read – Discuss – Learn to THINK for YOURSELF!! Do not blindly accept other people’s perceptions NO ONE! (Certainly not mine….)
24. Follow Your Heart! Listen to your Gut! Follow guidance & honor these strong messages
25. If you are striving to grow up to the heavens find solid roots to feed, nurture, & build a strong foundation for your work.
26. Do not be Lazy! Consciousness requires effort. (It is worth it!) Do not close your eyes to the daily experience of life. Rest & meditation are good. Lethargy & avoidance are not nearly as helpful.
27. Never stop learning or challenging yourself… Do not pretend that you know it all.

Consider: A partner with common values can be helpful & also a trap. Do not be a closed system.

Live with no fear of Death or Dying. Or, learn enough about dying so the thought of this transition does not get in the way of Living! (Study the stories of people who have had Near Death Experiences (NDE.)

Get a mentor, BE a Mentor, who is old, wise, & can share their lessons from living through their challenges! Honor their insights & wisdom though you do not have to agree with all their beliefs and insights. Their insights can offer you perspective & depth to your thinking. (Masters knows the perfection which dwells within you.)

DO NOT Avoid people with handicaps & challenges. They can teach you how to overcome limitations. We are all unique & loved creatures!

    DANCE like no one is watching! Live with passion and reckless abandon!

Visit our website at www.mastersofthejourney.com for more information and resources. Masters of the Journey is a Transformational community.

The Masters of the Journey has events which are updated on our Facebook page which is found at: www.facebook.com/mastersofthejourney Please comment on this blog and share, if appropriate. More of our blogs are based on spiritual consciousness and can be found at www.dstress.com/blog

Keeping the Faith

What is Faith? And, what does it mean to be “Keeping the Faith?”

Definition of faith

1. a: allegiance to duty or a person: loyalty lost faith in the company’s president
b: fidelity to one’s promises: sincerity of intentions acted in good faith

2. a: belief and trust in and loyalty to God : belief in the traditional doctrines of a religion
b: firm belief in something for which there is no proof clinging to the faith that her missing son would one day return : complete trust

3.: something that is believed especially with strong conviction; especially: a system of religious beliefs the Protestant faith

So of these various Merriam-Webster dictionary definitions, the one I am going with is 2.b: Complete trust. In our world, especially in our culture, it seems difficult to trust, let alone, have “complete trust” in anything. Our media and sources of news are expressing “alternative facts.” We can not believe anything on “face value” without “fact checking” and many people are too lazy to check facts or do not know where to go to check the facts about the things we see or hear. Too lazy and unable to get reliable information is rampant in our culture and so we are easy “targets” to be taken advantaged by those who shout the loudest and are willing to repeat untruths so often that people start believing these lies. Wow, this is a sad commentary on our culture and the world which we live within. With instant, world wide communication from the internet and we can not believe what we read, see, or hear on our home computers…

But, this is NOT the FAITH to which I speak. I will not address religious Faith because through history this has killed too many innocent people. I do not even want to talk about loyalty to God, because who is to say that the definition of God is what is true and worth loyalty and Faith. Yes, I must be a heretic to write this way…

The Faith which I am talking about is the deepest Faith that we can have. It is the “Knowing” and the “Remembering” of the Faith that dwells deep within your soul. It is the perfection that you were born with before your brain, ego, and learned experience took over and created separation from other souls and the beauty of unconditional, nonjudgmental love which is at your core. As an innocent baby born into the world you knew the “source” of the Divine but found the lessons of this earthly existence too engaging and distracting to maintain your pure spirit. Then, you spend your lifetime trying to “remember” who you are, where you came from, and what is your purpose. When your meditation and spiritual experience leads you back to your source wisdom, you will return to the “Faith” which you seek. It may take many lifetimes, but you will find that you are not separated from the other pilgrims you bump into. You are the same. You are perfect and you are a hologram of the perfect God who is Love! When you rediscover your purpose, you find that it is not so complicated. It is to reach out your hand to assist fellow pilgrims on their path to consciousness so you ALL return to “source” and acceptance, and wisdom, and to unconditional love.

Appreciate each moment, as best you can. Love each person who crosses your path because they are there for a reason and each interaction has a purpose. The most challenging interactions are the most important for the lessons you are here to learn. So, look into each person’s eyes and find the divine perfection of the perfect soul who stands in front of you. So much easier said than done in this life…

Blessings to you as you trudge each step along your journey through life. Deep within, know that you are perfect and a master. You just have to learn to live your perfection, again easier said than done.

Find the support you may require AND offer love and support to the people you meet along the way.

Masters of the Journey is a community of “seekers” and may assist you with support and resources. Keep the Faith! You are perfect and a child of Love! Know that you will find complete trust within your soul. Blessings to you along your path!

Support from Friends

When times are “difficult” emotionally, it can be great to get a supportive visit or call from a “healthy” friend. From recent personal experience, I can celebrate some recent visits and supportive contacts with some of my good friends. I hope that you have “good” and “healthy” friends in your life who can show up when life events turn difficult.

Good friends can be a loving distraction from distressing situations and, when timed properly, can be useful for getting perspective on difficult decisions. When you do not have to figure things out alone, in a “vacuum,” your best path toward solution can be more complete or simply a better one. When you have someone who you trust to share an emotional burden with then you can benefit in decision making and in support. When you are lucky enough to have “healthy” and caring people in your life, you can feel less alone and reduce the anxiety of your decision making.

There are times when your family may not be the best place to turn when you have a difficult decision to make especially when your family may be involved in the problem/challenge/concern/issue. There are times and certain family members that might be trustworthy or “healthy” and may not have your interests in mind when asked to help make a difficult decision. For example, if you are thinking about the “end of life” planning, family may have very personal reasons to not allow you to take the best path.

There are professional coaches or therapists or even clergy who you can go to for assistance in making decisions but sometimes finding the “right” professional to assist you can take as much time and energy as solving the challenge. The downside to confiding in friends is that you may have to be available, as a “healthy” friend when they need support which is different than when you hire a professional. Personally, I love the opportunity of giving back so support from good friends is not an emotional debt that concerns me.

The trick can be allowing yourself to be available to receive needed support. Many of us can give energy to others but find it difficult to be on the receiving side of the friendship equation. In my experience, moms and dads can be good at giving to their families but not good at getting the support when it can be returned. For perspective, I have found myself saying, “You are giving a great gift by allowing other people to give back to you.” And, this is true… People (friends) need to be allowed to “settle” their emotional debts and when NOT allowed to settle these “debts” can find themselves uncomfortable with allowing their relationship to continue, ’cause they do not want to continue the one way street of receiving…. (If they are “healthy” the debt can take its toll.)

I am blessed with having people in my life who can support me and offer perspective to me when I must make difficult decisions. I am blessed to have “healthy” people in my life who do not cloud a difficult situation with their own emotional baggage, as is possible. I have worked hard to connect with “healthy” people and I enjoy their friendship and, when possible, their company as I travel through my life. I work to maintain the important relationships because I like these people and want to be there for them and have them be there for me, when necessary. We are not all the type of people who can live happily isolated in a cave of life. So, celebrate your good, “healthy” relationships. Do the work to find and maintain these positive relationships. If you find yourself needing support when trustworthy friends who are unavailable, do not be too proud to reach out for “good” professional support.

In this light, visit or call or connect somehow with your network of healthy friends. Support them and allow them to support you. We must all reach out and walk through life as we move through our life’s lessons and it can expedite these lessons to have perspective from your healthy friends. We must all assist each other in developing the highest possible levels of consciousness.

AND, thank you to my good friends and family for being available for me as I work my way through my current challenges. I wish all readers to be as blessed as I am when it comes to supportive friends. It is worth the work of building and maintaining these relationships…

One last thing… We are never alone! We just have to become open to developing the connections with healthy, positive consciousness and to the source of our own souls.

Coping with Grief and Loss – a Process

We all suffer from loss in our lives. Sometimes the loss relates to transitions through life that are normal and expected states of growth and development such as moving from childhood, through the teenage years, and then into the adult responsibilities that confront most people. Though this is a difficult transition, we must all face this if we live past our 18th birthday. There are more serious or traumatic losses that many of us encounter such as the death of close family member or friend, the loss of health due to accident or illness, the loss of an important relationship, or possibly the loss experienced with a career change or loss of a job. These are difficult times and hard lessons to experience in the course of life. These losses, though potentially painful, can be times of learning and personal growth. Many of these transitions can be less distracting and with a greater potential for learning if you have a positive support network. Here is the dilemma. Most people do not have a network of healthy, positive supporters to allow for movement through difficult transitions with grace and healing perspectives.

We can learn from our painful transitions and losses. We can wade through these changes more gracefully, and possibly with less discomfort, if we have the best team of support surrounding us. Some people look for professional counselors or coaches, or perhaps clergy to help with difficult transitions. Some of us have personal mentors who can be trusted and who have the necessary communication skills to assist in times of need. Some of us have healthy relationships, friends or family who can help without too much of their own “baggage.” Many people do not have enough access to the positive supporters who can help us through the grief that life throws at us.

There are many books and potential sources of information which help us to understand the process of dealing with loss and grief but for most people reading about the grief process is not enough. We need to be supported by a personalized experience that we can gather around us as we muddle our way through our emotional and spiritual pains of loss. We need to be “touched” by the proper support in many ways. We need to be allowed our grief and yet “called on it” when we have gone past the limit and start the “wallowing process.” We need to find the exact, personalized process to assist in managing the stress, anxiety, pain, confusion, and the “emptiness” of replacing the part of ourselves which has been lost with the more experienced and empowered person who has survived a major change/loss/growth… Do not miss the opportunity to build a support network of “healthy” and available people. You never know when a need will arise for this special support.

Each of us need to find the best way to learn our lesson and then to move on into our new, restructured life. We need to learn the best way to take care of ourselves, benefit from the lessons, and then discover the most appropriate directions to move our new life. To do this, we need to find people we can trust and invest the resources into the process of self-care and self-development so we can move down the path that leads to our goals. This is easier said than done, but if you realize that you would survive this transition more easily and possibly more quickly with positive assistance then you must do the work and find the correct support you require.

In the future, we will be expanding and releasing information regarding a new program which can assist most people in developing an individualized transition plan. We are beginning to build a process for creating a positive support network which will enable participants to discover their strengths, accept their weakness or flaws, and to free up energy to invest for moving toward positive goals and enhanced lifestyles. The working title for this process is “Finding Your Tone.”

Please comment or send questions to the Stress Education Center at wellness@dstress.com or visit the website at www.dstress.com.