Category Archives: Personal Ranting

Support from Friends

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When times are “difficult” emotionally, it can be great to get a supportive visit or call from a “healthy” friend. From recent personal experience, I can celebrate some recent visits and supportive contacts with some of my good friends. I hope that you have “good” and “healthy” friends in your life who can show up when life events turn difficult.

Good friends can be a loving distraction from distressing situations and, when timed properly, can be useful for getting perspective on difficult decisions. When you do not have to figure things out alone, in a “vacuum,” your best path toward solution can be more complete or simply a better one. When you have someone who you trust to share an emotional burden with then you can benefit in decision making and in support. When you are lucky enough to have “healthy” and caring people in your life, you can feel less alone and reduce the anxiety of your decision making.

There are times when your family may not be the best place to turn when you have a difficult decision to make especially when your family may be involved in the problem/challenge/concern/issue. There are times and certain family members that might be trustworthy or “healthy” and may not have your interests in mind when asked to help make a difficult decision. For example, if you are thinking about the “end of life” planning, family may have very personal reasons to not allow you to take the best path.

There are professional coaches or therapists or even clergy who you can go to for assistance in making decisions but sometimes finding the “right” professional to assist you can take as much time and energy as solving the challenge. The downside to confiding in friends is that you may have to be available, as a “healthy” friend when they need support which is different than when you hire a professional. Personally, I love the opportunity of giving back so support from good friends is not an emotional debt that concerns me.

The trick can be allowing yourself to be available to receive needed support. Many of us can give energy to others but find it difficult to be on the receiving side of the friendship equation. In my experience, moms and dads can be good at giving to their families but not good at getting the support when it can be returned. For perspective, I have found myself saying, “You are giving a great gift by allowing other people to give back to you.” And, this is true… People (friends) need to be allowed to “settle” their emotional debts and when NOT allowed to settle these “debts” can find themselves uncomfortable with allowing their relationship to continue, ’cause they do not want to continue the one way street of receiving…. (If they are “healthy” the debt can take its toll.)

I am blessed with having people in my life who can support me and offer perspective to me when I must make difficult decisions. I am blessed to have “healthy” people in my life who do not cloud a difficult situation with their own emotional baggage, as is possible. I have worked hard to connect with “healthy” people and I enjoy their friendship and, when possible, their company as I travel through my life. I work to maintain the important relationships because I like these people and want to be there for them and have them be there for me, when necessary. We are not all the type of people who can live happily isolated in a cave of life. So, celebrate your good, “healthy” relationships. Do the work to find and maintain these positive relationships. If you find yourself needing support when trustworthy friends who are unavailable, do not be too proud to reach out for “good” professional support.

In this light, visit or call or connect somehow with your network of healthy friends. Support them and allow them to support you. We must all reach out and walk through life as we move through our life’s lessons and it can expedite these lessons to have perspective from your healthy friends. We must all assist each other in developing the highest possible levels of consciousness.

AND, thank you to my good friends and family for being available for me as I work my way through my current challenges. I wish all readers to be as blessed as I am when it comes to supportive friends. It is worth the work of building and maintaining these relationships…

One last thing… We are never alone! We just have to become open to developing the connections with healthy, positive consciousness and to the source of our own souls.

Basking in the Afternoon Sunlight

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In celebration of an experience from April, 2012 – Posted by L. John Mason –

I live in the Northwest on an Island North of Seattle, WA. The region is famous for gray cool days that often have some sort of precipitation. In my nine year history, I have discovered that the sunny, warm times (and warm is relative) are August and September, also considered Summer. In Seattle and Portland, from October to July when the sunshine breaks through the clouds, people will stop what they are doing and rush outdoors for what is known locally as a “sun break.” You should also know that people who live, and the ones who thrive, in the Northwest are a hardy group who function decently in the cool dampness. People will not be stopped by rain when working or exercising because this “just comes with the territory.” I tell you this because there is a special appreciation that can be found in the Northwest for being touched by the warmth of the sun, BUT, this can hold true for many people outside the Northwest as well.

So I had an experience Sunday, last, that makes me pause and think of appreciation for some of things that can easily be overlooked or taken for granted. I went further North to visit a new friend in the city of Bellingham. For me, it was a chance to learn some of the secrets of this pleasant town which has plenty of charm, history, and a population of people who are influenced by the colleges found in town. We walked and talked as we strolled down the special trails that line the waterfront. We drifted into shops and chatted with shop owners and fellow pedestrians. We found many delightful things which made our quest enjoyable.

Later in the afternoon, I experienced that wonderful moment that makes a day memorable. I found myself sharing this large chair on the sunporch of my host. The warmth of the sunlight was streaming through the large windows and I felt myself peacefully melting into this chair. My eyes closed and I soaked up the warming, relaxing rays of sunshine. To make this better, I was sharing this with my wonderful new friend who allowed me to feel safe and most comfortable. Perhaps you have experienced moments like this and you can remember these as pleasant, healing experiences.

Having shared this image, I now have a significant memory to use when I pull up my visualizations of an ideal time of warmth and peace. So, if you find yourself needing a moment of relaxation consider sitting back comfortably in a safe, hopefully peaceful environment, and start by taking several deep slow breaths. Perhaps you feel cool air as you inhale and warm breath as you slowly exhale. You might even imagine that as the warm breath flows from you it seems to carry away unnecessary thoughts or energy. Continue breathing slowly and naturally allowing every slow breath to let you sink deeper into a state of peaceful relaxation. Perhaps, you can feel the relaxation beginning in your arms and legs. You may even be able to feel yourself slowly sinking back into whatever you are sitting or lying upon. Imagine that you can feel the warmth from the sun gently and safely shining down on you. Perhaps you can imagine that you can soak up this warmth and light, and this allows you to drift deeper into a peaceful dreamlike state of calmness. As you breathe slowly and gently, perhaps you can imagine that you can breathe in the sunlight and warmth, and allow this energy to bathe every cell in your body with healing energy. Every cell can soak up the perfect amount of this healing energy and unconditional love to allow the cells to heal and recharge. You can even begin to feel the feelings of joy and health and happiness welling up inside you. Perhaps you can celebrate this perfect moment of health and happiness and see yourself in perfect health, being active.

Enjoy those moments of your life when you can bask in the radiance of warmth and unconditional love. Hold these memories and feelings within your heart so you can pull these forward to heal and recharge yourself, when needed. AND, if you find yourself sharing a large chair, on the perfect sunporch, with a person who allows you to feel safe and comfortable, honor this moment as a special treasure.

As with other articles from this blog, if you require any additional support consider the information and services provided through the Stress Education Center and visit the website at www.dstress.com

Please take good care of yourself and bask in warmth and light, as often as you can.

Life Balance Quality of Life

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Since the “Information Age” began in the late 1970’s, we have been struggling to keep up with changes in technology and 24/7 streaming information. Consider the 1980’s and 1990’s when the information explosion included: fax machines, cell phones, personal computers, and the internet (world wide web-www.) In today’s world, we often feel that we are falling behind if we do not check our e-mail, text messages, facebook-twitter-myspace (etc) accounts, and have our cell phones turned on ALL THE TIME! There are many people who have no idea how to control their “connectedness” and will text while driving, at dinner, in their counseling appointments (I am NOT kidding,) in the bathroom, or even in other important meetings-classes-dates, etc. Maybe ADDICTION to this connectedness is the issue. Technology has driven us to rethink what Life Balance really looks like.

The concept of Life Balance has been around along time however, the challenge of how to achieve or maintain Life Balance has become a difficult dilemma. There are some major areas in most people lives that are necessary to maintain balance in life. Though we are focused on financial survival, focus only on our finances and our careers is not enough to sustain the highest qualities of life. Often we are trapped into thinking that if we made more money, had a bigger bank account, or had moved to the “better” job, we would be happy and healthy. For most of us, this is a false assumption. Besides money and a decent job, we need to be well-rounded in other important areas of our lives including: our family relationships, our world of friendships, continuing our educational pursuits, our health, participating in aesthetic or creative pursuits, and honoring our spirit. If any of these areas of our lives are not celebrated, with at least brief regular attention, we can suffer from “burnout” and a reduced quality of life. We may lack emotional well-being if we do find make time and put energy into these areas of our lives.

“Healthy” relationships with family and friends are more than just social outlets. It is life sustaining to develop and participate in positive connections with other people. Babies who do not have positive human connection do NOT thrive and can die even when they are provided with food and shelter. Most people need to connect and in our desperation to connect, we often settle for relationships with unhealthy people. This has been a problem that affects quality of life. We must guard against negativity in the people we must interact with and prevent ourselves from being drawn into other people’s “drama.” This is easier said than done…

Our psychological, emotional, and physical health requires regular work and attention. Many people take their health for granted. Many people put other people’s needs before themselves and eventually whither or burnout. Every one of us requires a different pattern of prevention to maintain our health and well-being, so you have to learn what your specific requirements are and do not fall into the trap of doing things that other people say you “should” do, when actually your requirements may be very different.

We must continue to learn and to grow. Life long learning keeps us going and interested in life. Waiting for TV to entertain us is usually not enough. We need to reach out and stimulate our brains with new and challenging situations.

Participating in aesthetically pleasing or creative endeavors is also required for the highest qualities of life. This may be appreciating works of art or going for a walk in nature. It may take the form of hobbies or crafts. It may be time spent creating or appreciating music. It is often shared with other people and aids in positive connections. It is a celebration of life and your own unique creativity. You do not have to be a great artist to celebrate the art that you encounter. And, this leads us to the celebration of our spirit.

Spiritual development is a necessary life sustaining activity. It is not a religious pursuit. It is a pursuit of higher connection to an aesthetic belief or activity. Honoring that positive exposure to nature or art through conscious meditation will help lead to a satisfying quest for your spirit. If we do not pursue understanding and celebration of our spirits, we can lack the depth which helps us to achieve the highest quality of life. To be clear, spiritual development does not require the practice of religion. The spirit does not dwell within a specific religious philosophy or the practice of ritual, for all people.

An additional life requirement for your consideration is the need in life to play or to have fun. A life is best lived when we find time for positive entertaining and joyful experiences. We can often overlook the need to have fun because other challenges are so pressing but people thrive when there is time and energy spent pursuing situations that can bring laughter or, at least, smiles to our daily existence. Please remember to play.

Balance in life requires a commitment to yourself. This commitment includes scheduling time and allocating energy to the various specific areas of your life. A well rounded and balanced life makes time for positive relationships, health practices, and the pursuit of creativity to feed the spirit. What are your requirements? What do you need to add to your life to be whole and complete? Can you be a positive role model for the the people who share your life?

If you require coaching to achieve life balance consider the coaching opportunities available through the Stress Education Center by contacting our website at www.dstress.com.

Would You Be More Successful if Your Were Authentic?

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What is “Authentic,” “Genuine,” and “Real”?

Would knowing who you really are allow you to be happier and to make better choices in your life?
When we are talking about people and how they comport themselves in the world, I have wondered whether many people would pass the test of being “authentic, genuine, and real?” Now that I have posed that question, I also wonder whether people really care about how they behave as they choose to live their lives. For me, the search for answers begins with finding the definitions of these words based on internet dictionaries… (Most relevant to this article are definitions which are emboldened and underlined.)

Please work your way through these definitions and the article will continue on the other side…

Definition of AUTHENTIC Webster’s
3. not false or imitation : real, actual
5. true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character

Or au·then·tic adjective
1. not false or copied; genuine; real: an authentic antique.
2. having the origin supported by unquestionable evidence; authenticated; verified: an authentic document of the Middle Ages; an authentic work of the old master.
3. entitled to acceptance or belief because of agreement with known facts or experience; reliable; trustworthy: an authentic report on poverty in Africa

Definition of GENUINE
1 actually having the reputed or apparent qualities or character b : actually produced by or proceeding from the alleged source or author c : sincerely and honestly felt or experienced d : actual, true
2 free from hypocrisy or pretense : sincere

adjective
1. possessing the claimed or attributed character, quality, or origin; not counterfeit; authentic; real: genuine sympathy; a genuine antique.
2. properly so called: a genuine case of smallpox.
3. free from pretense, affectation, or hypocrisy; sincere: a genuine person.
4. descended from the original stock; pure in breed: a genuine Celtic people.
Synonyms
1. See authentic. 3. true, unaffected, open, honest, forthright.

Definition of REAL:
Real describes something that is true and authentic or something is very important or significant. (adjective)
1. An example of real is an actual designer purse as opposed to a fake.
2. An example of real is a serious problem.

re·al adjective
1. true; not merely ostensible, nominal, or apparent: the real reason for an act.
2. existing or occurring as fact; actual rather than imaginary, ideal, or fictitious: a story taken from real life.
3. being an actual thing; having objective existence; not imaginary: The events you will see in the film are real and not just made up.
4. being actually such; not merely so-called: a real victory.
5. genuine; not counterfeit, artificial, or imitation; authentic: a real antique; a real diamond; real silk
Or
1. a. Being or occurring in fact or actuality; having verifiable existence: real objects; a real illness.
b. True and actual; not imaginary, alleged, or ideal: real people, not ghosts; a film based on real life.
c. Of or founded on practical matters and concerns: a recent graduate experiencing the real world for the first time.
2. Genuine and authentic; not artificial or spurious: real mink; real humility.
3. Being no less than what is stated; worthy of the name: a real friend.
4. Free of pretense, falsehood, or affectation: tourists hoping for a real experience on the guided tour.
5. Not to be taken lightly; serious: in real trouble

Definition of SNARKY (Why “snarky”? Because many people attempt to behave in this way and seem to be opposite to actually being “real, authentic, and genuine”.)
adj. snark·i·er, snark·i·est Slang
1. Rudely sarcastic or disrespectful; snide.
2. Irritable or short-tempered; irascible.
adjective: Informal touchy, short-tempered, irritable,

Everyone seems to be able to achieve the status of being authentic, genuine, and real a part of the time. The amount of this time varies greatly based on how important it may seem to be real as opposed to being in a “role” of being the type of character (or person) you may need or want to be seen as. I believe that too many of us spend too much time “acting” or pretending to be someone else because we are not comfortable being who we actually are… I also believe that these “roles” are so comfortable and prevalent that we often do not have a good idea of how to be authentic, genuine or real because we DO NOT KNOW who we actually are… In fact, this lack of self-knowledge, self-acceptance, personal insight, and authenticity is common, accepted, and often preferred by both the person playing the role and the people whom they encounter. Perhaps it is simply easier than being real or genuine.

What would the advantage be to being authentic, genuine, and real?
Would this make life more satisfying?
Would this help to make relationships more solid or real?
Should people strive to be more demonstrative of whom they really are?
And, how do you get to be more authentic, genuine, and real, and live in this true form?

When you meet a person who is genuine and real do you find that you can “TRUST” that person more easily because they do not seem inauthentic? Do relationships benefit from moments when the people in the relationship achieve an interaction which is sincere and genuine?

When we are born, we are genuine, authentic, and real. But, things get complicated and we develop filters by which we begin to experience the world. These filters may be cultural, or from family values, or political, or burdened by religious teachings. We then evaluate and “judge” other people and interactions based on these filters and we often find ourselves acting in character from the filters which we have adopted. Babies are not born as: “born again Christians,” or Muslin Extremists, or “right-wing” angry conservative Republicans, or “left-wing” “bleeding-heart liberals,” or drug addicted “street people,” or over-educated intellectual snobs, or rabid football fans, or tattooed, NASCAR enthusiasts. Babies are exposed to these philosophies and adopt these characteristics from the role models they live with. With that said, are these developed personalities authentic, genuine, or real?

How does common sense, or the lack thereof, play a role in living as a genuine person?
Is the definition of “phony” (or acting “fake”) the opposite of authentic, genuine, and real?

When the time comes that a person realizes that they are not as authentic as they may want to be, how does a person find their way back to an authentic self? And, how will they really know that they have gotten to that internal place of being genuine, real, and authentic? (Is it a feeling of insight or can it be understood by an evaluation process?)

Does being “real” allow for unfiltered, inappropriate, snarkiness and uninhibited impulsivity? In this day and age, many people express themselves through a cynical, sarcastic, and caustic style that seems to be in vogue with many celebrities and pundits who are allowed vast amounts of media exposure. As a society, the tolerance, acceptance, and celebration of this style of behavior appear to communicate the insecurity and need to be condescending toward fellow citizens. This lack of tolerance and respect seems endemic in our culture. Why do we have to put other people or concepts down just to aggrandize ourselves or our opinions?

Also, is there a time in people’s lives when they realize that they have been chasing a dream or expectations that may prove unsatisfying for them? When we are young do we impulsively strive for a cultural expectation of “success” that during “mid-life” (mid-30’s to late 40’s) changes dramatically causing dissatisfaction and unhappiness which can cause dramatic changes in career choices, relationships, and lifestyles? Would better self-awareness with authenticity allow for greater life satisfaction before, during, and after these mid-life travails? Does the desire for mid-life change denote a need to strive toward greater self-awareness, authenticity or genuineness?

It has been a common belief that self-realization gives you power because you know and better understand your own strengths and weaknesses/flaws. If you can remove yourself from being a victim to your expectations or unconscious characters (the roles we assume should bring us happiness or success), then you can make better life choices and find your path to satisfaction and happiness. It may prove difficult and confusing to wade through the old self-concepts and roles that may be getting in your way, however you can achieve self-awareness and a greater sense of being “authentic, genuine, and real.”

If you wish to explore how to become more “authentic” or genuine, with the possibility of increased self-acceptance, consider coaching from the Stress Education Center at www.dstress.com The Stress Education Center offers a coaching process which offers increased self-awareness, personal control, and a self-realization that will allow greater success and life satisfaction.
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Happy Valentines Day! Hold the Expectations

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It is that time of year, again… The celebration of romance or the horror of the lack of romance. The sale of flowers, cards, candy, jewelry, balloons, dinners out, even fancy underwear will all be way up, but will anybody truly find any happiness? I like romance, but the pressure to be romantic and the expense of romantic expectations make me crazy… Yes, the “Stress Guy” gets stressed out by EXPECTATIONS… I am a victim of my own mind… But, so are the people who are fine, satisfied and happy without a significant relationship who somehow can feel lonely on this weird, and manufactured, holiday.

The part I enjoy is going out early on Valentines Day to the well supplied supermarkets. Usually, there are several “stations” set up for the desperate, last minute male Valentines buyers to race through in their anxiety, fear, and clueless-ness. Yup, tables of flowers and cards and candy and jewelry and balloons, etc… Then, I stand in line with desperate men and remind them that they have forgotten one or more of the items, and then watch them leap out of line to obtain the forgotten expectation.

Does anybody really feel loved when they receive a pile of Valentine expectations??? Romance is NOT dead, we just do not have enough time or money these days… The handmade gift or card or dinner seem more thoughtful and loving to me, but what do I know… I have been told by higher authorities on romance (like my sister) that one red rose is more romantic than a mega-buttload of red roses. (Mega-buttload means a lot of…)

Sincere acknowledgement should be enough, and often is, unless the nightmare of run-away expectations somehow take over. Please be gentle, and appreciate the thought, even if it is simple, pure, and innocent.

And, by the way, to the memory of my loving wife, I treasured our time together. As always, please be my Valentine….

You Are Loved…Near Death Experience of Heaven

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A past blog was titled “Proof of Heaven” based partly on the book by that name written by Dr. Eben Alexander. He wrote the story of his own near death experience (NDE) and about some of the “lessons” that he learned while being “out of his body…” His story was similiar to many that I have read about from interviews with people who had near death experiences. Two researchers, Raymond Moody and Ken Ring, have documented hundreds of these people. I am sure that there are many other researchers collecting these accounts from people from around the world. If you are interested, there are books written that have fascinated me in my research.

On page 71 of the “Proof of Heaven” (in my paperback version of Eben ALexander’s book) I quote the most basic, AND important, lesson that he received from his NDE. These were the concepts/feelings that he received while meeting the supreme being of love and light (perhaps God).
1.) “You are loved and cherished”…
2.) “You have nothing to fear.” and,
3.) “There is nothing you can do wrong.”

These are words to LIVE by. Who would not want to know that you are “loved and cherished?” Yes, even the “bad guys” and the people have made terrible situations (perhaps accidents) happen in the world. It takes time to digest and the Buddhists have been offering this philosophy for thousands of years, knowing that it requires a long time to actually know and FEEL this to be true. I challenge you to explore this belief, even better when you do NOT put the filters of one religion or another on your research. Find the truth from your spirit as found in your “gut” response and how it truly feels to you.

We may not know for sure whether these words and thoughts hold true until we experience our ultimate transition, but it gives me comfort that my loved ones are in a better place and I may join them when my time has come.

Live with grace. Bask in love. AND, fear not the end of life transition that we must all face.

What is Your Legacy?

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What is Your Legacy?
How does this Affect Your Life?

lega•cy (leg?? s?)
noun pl. legacies -•cies
1. money or property left to someone by a will; bequest
2. anything handed down from, or as from, an ancestor
3. a student applying or admitted to a college or university who is a relative of an alumnus

A consideration (for me) born in 2010…

Though I must admit, I have never really considered what my relationship is to this word or concept, I did begin a small survey on this subject. For reasons I can not explain, the consideration of the concept of my own legacy started while I was sitting in auditorium listening to a concert performance. So on the drive home, I started a conversation with my wife and my sister regarding what “Legacy” really might mean to me. It dawned on me that this might actually be an important consideration for how I might behave as I live my life. What you may not know about me, and a perhaps an important piece of information about me, is I will be turning 60 on my next birthday. This may have something to do with my thought process.

So what does the concept of “Legacy” mean beyond the dictionary definition. We discussed a possible broader description of the concept than leaving money or property as a legacy. We discussed what it means beyond handing “something” down to the next generations. We tried to settle on the concept that “a Legacy” might include a “Karmic” or “Psychic” legacy of intended or unintended “good deeds” that are either acknowledged or unacknowledged. By your own definition, of leaving a positive footprint on the world you walk upon in your life. Doing something good for the world. For example, my sister suggested that she tried to do at least 3 “good deeds” per day, like letting another driver into traffic instead of cutting them off or making them wait. I believe that these good deeds do build an increased level of “good karmic energy” but do not quite meet my concept of leaving a legacy.

For me, a “Legacy” might include a planned or unplanned connection with another person or organization which causes a change in movement into a more positive direction (my definition of positive.) For example, the afternoon I spent with a friend that convinced him, or more accurately, influenced him to become a physician rather than to follow his other choice of becoming a lawyer. And, he did train to become a physician.

Or perhaps, a legacy which includes raising children who by action are instilled with the “nature” to do good in the world. I can not claim full responsibility for early training that lead my sons to be altruistic people who consider “giving back” a part of daily activities, where being of service is a way of life. I have no control over how my sons conduct their daily business and many who know our family would say that their mother has instilled in them a higher set of values to be of service than I have, so I can not really, honestly, claim my sons’ good work as my legacy.

My work has been part of my legacy. I have attempted to provide good service to people and organizations and this good service includes experiences in good health and well being for people to model. But, on the occasion that someone who I have coached or trained approaches me and offers an comment of appreciation for some part of an interaction with me or my work that may have had a positive effect upon their life, I can not fully feel that I can accept responsibility or blame for this movement. It was their choice to use the information or experience to make positive change in their life. They had to follow through and to do the work to make the change.

So I wondered whether the concept of legacy somehow meant that this concept required a grander action like getting a wing of a hospital endowed and then named after me or my family. Most people can not qualify to leave a legacy at this level. So my confusion continues. How should I live my life, and do my work, with concept of leaving a positive legacy of my time walking, in this current body, on the Earthly plane of existence?… (Notice the Eastern concept of Karma and re-incarnation in my thought process.) I would like to maintain my vigilance and offer a life of service and good intentions in my work. I would like to be known as a good friend, a good husband, a good father, and possibly a good: teacher, trainer, coach, clinician….. Perhaps most importantly, I would like to be known for being a person who listened well enough to be able to share a moment in time with another person (or persons) where all participants felt the positive impact of this connection. Yes, I would like to be known for respecting my partners in communication enough to create a bond that allows for deeper examination and adjustments that lead to positive movement.

But what does “Legacy” mean for you? By considering your legacy, will this influence the way you choose to live and work? Will you set goals, and follow through, that include reaching out to your partners in life’s experiences and create bonds where trust and support will create positive change?

I am not sure I fully understand why I have not taken the time to consider the concept of Legacy until I reached the milestone of a 60th birthday but I know that I am never too old or too young to start the process of self-examination of my life’s purpose and how to move toward a life of greater service.

Are YOU looking for your “Legacy?” As part of my “legacy,” I offer information and coaching on stress management and improving productivity through my website at www.dstress.com. I hope that this provides you with some useful information.

Being Present: Key to Mindfulness

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Have you ever suffered from anxiety, fear, or major stress? If so, then the chances are good that the fear or anxiety were born out of an experience from the past, as a learned response, or from fears of some future unknown or uncontrollable event. Throughout our lives we suffer great or small traumas and our body learns to respond to similar scenarios as if we were having PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) reactions. In deed, we may have mini-PTSD responses to fearful or difficult events even if these past events were not life threatening. Most importantly, if we ruminate on past events then we are not totally “present” in our bodies, in present time. Our bodies will then attempt to make us “present” by dragging us back into the present moment with an irritating, if not worse, symptom like an anxiety attack. This symptom is not necessarily the enemy, but it is a warning sign that we are not paying attention to our bodies, in the present moment.

Fear of the unknown or the uncertainty of what can happen in the future will also trigger a symptom of fear or anxiety. Since we can not predict the future with 100% accuracy, our flight-fight response can be triggered and physical or emotional symptoms can be exacerbated. When we lose track of the present moment, our body can force us to consider the present in rude ways.

Conversely, at the heart of every stress or anxiety management technique are simple activities designed to bring us back into our bodies in the present moment and in a “positive way.” One strong example is the request to take a deep slow breath and to feel the cool air as you inhale and the warm breath as you exhale. This simple, but powerful, request asks that you release thoughts regarding the past or expectations of the future and to feel the subtle difference of a slow inhale and exhale. This act of Mindfulness can back you away from your fear or anxiety especially when this has been rehearsed enough to become a habituated pattern.

Being Present or practicing Mindfulness is easier said than done, but the concept is not difficult to understand and with practice not too difficult to learn. Being prepared to “let go” of fear, anxiety, or traumatic thoughts can be very useful and can succeed when the skill of “Being Present” has become a positive habit.

Other techniques for mindfulness would include feeling: muscles relaxing, heart rate slowing, hands and feet warming, stomach tension releasing, and sensations of slowing down of distracting thoughts. Techniques which can lead to this state of mind and body, when practiced, include: Meditations, Autogenic Training, Progressive Relaxations, Visualizations/Imagery, forms of Self-Hypnosis, Breathing techniques, Yoga/Stretching, biofeedback training, and other types of focusing and observations. The secret is to find the one that works best for you, master it, and then use it preventively on a regular basis.

Information at the Stress Education Center’s website wwww.dstress.com may prove helpful to you.

Basking in the Light of Self-Acceptance

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Can you allow yourself to bask in the light of Self-Love and Self-Acceptance? Can you see and accept both your strengths and your flaws? Can you find a way to break from being a “victim” of your challenges and your lessons?

Life would be easy if the answers to these questions was “Yes.” For most of us, we are in the struggle called “living” and can not find the time and energy to even ask these questions, let alone, develop the answers. These are questions that people have asked and struggled to answer since the first humans had enough consciousness to realize that they were more than just animals attempting to survive in a difficult, dangerous world. The lessons of consciousness that we historically struggle with are often ones like: What is my purpose? or Why am I alive? or Is there a God? or What happens when I die? or How can I find Love? or How can I keep the faith even as the storm of humiliation and disappointment surround me? There are no easy answers… but for each of us the process of discovery along the path to finding these answers is what our lives are all about.

I believe that each one of us is connected to a higher consciousness and our goal in life is to learn from our flaws/challenges so we can get a less filtered view of this pure consciousness. We are trying to connect with the God within us and to bask in the light of unconditional love and consciousness.

At some point, we must acknowledge our imperfections and find a way to accept these challenges as the lessons we have to learn. By accepting these flaws and giving up the “fight against them,” we can free our energy to find a better way to our life’s purpose and our goals. By giving up being a victim to our weaknesses or imperfections, we can invest our time and energy in moving more freely to the light of higher consciousness. Why is it easier to accept other people and their imperfections, than it is to accept our own? Accept and celebrate your flaws, especially if you wish to find a way to move in more positive directions.

Along the way, find and celebrate the God within you. You may be surprised to find how surprisingly familiar this supreme consciousness really is. (For me, God is not a religious term. It is a word that symbolizes unconditional love in the purest form and the highest consciousness that connects all living things.)

Basking in the Brilliance of Spirit

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What feeds your spirit? What activities connect you with your spirit? How often do you seek to develop your spiritual nature? When we speak of “spirit” or spiritual development in this article, we are not speaking about learning religious philosophy or in practicing religious rituals. Instead, we are speaking of the deeper connections with the brilliance of love and light that comes from deep within every living being. In doing so, there is no exclusion of spirit due to different philosophical or religious beliefs or attitudes. There are no qualifications or exclusions from connecting with spirit. One of the main understandings regarding this celebration of spirit is that “we are all at one” with all other living creatures. We are all “connected.”

Time and space (place) are less of a division in the world of spirit. Spirit may be more a feeling rather than a thought. For people who have been able to bring these feelings back from a spiritual experience often describe a feeling of “oneness” or a sense of deep connection. There may also be a feeling of “unconditional love” which can also be described in some religions as a feeling of connection with the religion’s God, but not necessarily with all the morale or cultural beliefs.

People will visit a glorious natural environment and feel the power of connection with natural beauty that has the power to create calmness and sometimes healing. When learning to connect with your spirit it is good to be reminded that you can get there more easily if you “Quiet your mind” and control your expectations. (Neither of these is easy to do when getting started but can come more easily with practice.) It is important to be “still” and to let “it” come to you. Chasing the spirit can make it more difficult to do. A final reminder: Be Open… You may not experience the process in the way you think you might need, but actually get the experience that you will best learn from…. If, you are open to it.

I am reminded of a time when I was in a late afternoon meditation on a cliff that over looked the waves churning unto a beach in Sonoma County, CA. With my mind reaching to be in “neutral” (no extra thoughts), I found myself listening to a dialogue in my head. One voice seemed to come from the perspective of a “guide” in the form of a seagull who was describing the birth of the winds as a power to consider. The Voice suggested that the winds were created by the difference in temperatures of the ocean and the land. As the land heated up and warmed the air over it, the air would rise and the cooler air over the ocean would rush in to fill this void, so creating a breeze. Waves are generated by the movements of the wind and their force is respected for the great power that this force of nature manifests. The Voice asked me to consider harnessing the power of the winds as seagulls do as they soar, almost effortlessly, by using the currents of wind. A part of me listened to the dialogue with fascination. Another part of my mind was asking where this Voice was coming from and where the information of this Voice was coming from. I considered the experience as a connection with the “collective unconscious” described by many famous psychologists and philosophers. I felt blessed to be allowed to share in this mind expanding experience.

Another late afternoon meditation created a powerful but not uncommon learning experience. In my visualization, I imagined that I was sitting by a river with my back against a tree. I pictured myself meditating and seeing the transformation of the river in front of me into the “River of Life.” It was golden in color. It flowed from my right side to my left, slowly and evenly. I “knew” that the waters would eventually empty into the sea. Each golden molecule of water represented a living soul. The molecules of water would evaporate from the sea to form golden clouds which would lead to a golden rain high up in the mountains. The molecules would join other molecules to form small streams flowing downhill to join larger rivers until the “cycle of life” would be repeat by following the path of the golden river of life back to the sea, once again. I saw myself as a molecule of water swirling downstream occasionally being caught in an eddy and swirling in circles to learn my lessons. Most importantly, I felt myself “connected” to all other living things in this river of life. I knew that I was never alone or separate from other living beings as we struggle to improve and move forward with our lessons of life. Though this meditation happened for me almost 40 years ago, I remember it and I feel it as if it was happening right now… This type of connection with the oneness of consciousness is far from unique. It has happened before and will happen again in some form or another for people who are open to this transformative experience/lesson.

Please consider taking time to connect with your spirit and celebrating the learning that you can achieve. It will change your life.

For life balance and stress management, it is important to maintain your ideal state of mind, body, and spirit. Too focused attention on any one area, over the others, may provide an imbalance that will not allow the best quality of life. Please take good care of yourself.

Please comment on this blog if you are so moved.