Blaming and Dodging Responsibility

Tough topic for many (most) people… Is it easier to blame others than to take responsibility for the challenges that life throws at you? Sure it is! We have been taught to defend our “position” (at any cost.) You are taught to “judge” other people and look for their weaknesses or imperfections so we can pretend to “elevate” ourselves. Winning and competing is valued by our culture. Yet, the way to a better, happier, healthier world is not found in tearing other people down or fixing our “wrong-headedness” in the concrete of our emotional foundations.

Many times, it is better to look at a difficult situation and to learn how and why We Put Ourselves in this situation. It is not a conscious choice BUT there is a lesson we are to learn from, and so, move on our path to consciousness. As an example, 19 years into my marriage with my life partner, my wife, we were confronted with a terminal diagnosis with her ovarian cancer. Initially, I was confused with why (?) and how I was going to support her and to deal with this. I do NOT wish this situation on anyone, however, I would not trade this difficult life experience. There is so much learning that comes from this situation. This brutal experience made us closer than we had ever been before. Since her death in 2012, I have continued to learn and to grow. It is a major reason I am in the position of writing this blog in an act of sharing from the lessons I am continuing to learn.

Why we were “supposed” to endure this challenge is not fully explainable. However, I realize that this experience has huge value in learning my purpose in this life and helps me to be of service, with much greater compassion and resolve. Blaming the doctor who missed the diagnosis was easy and familiar but did not serve me. I am learning that taking responsibility for my role and my learning makes me understand how best to take a seemingly negative life challenge and make this a teaching moment, not just for me, as I continue my path through this life. I never thought that after losing my marriage that I was alone, but I have learned so much more about my relationships with friends and with starting my life over (in many respects) later in this life…

My life AND YOUR life have been filled with challenges and successes which we were meant to have as developmental tools. We can blame other people and situations for the pain we have felt or we can find a way to thank these difficulties for teaching us what WE have needed to learn. We can take responsibility and NOT live as victims. We can take our learned lessons and find ways to be of service by sharing our stories and the wisdom which we have been forced to learn! We can begin to remember that the divine purpose of these trials have been presented to us not just for our learning but as a way to raise the consciousness of everyone we come into contact with.

Consider how YOU can learn from the situations where YOU feel like blaming. Consider how you are responsible for  these painful situations through the choices you have chosen to make. AND, take responsibility for the wisdom you have found! Reach around and use this wisdom to assist other pilgrims you meet in this life. Fulfill your purpose to serve the divine.

Though this is difficult to read, and to understand, know that you are perfect. You are a master sent to grace this plane of consciousness with your learned wisdom. The world IS a better place because of the role you are here to play. Serve by being a light, a role model of the collected experiences and learnings you have gleaned from this human experience. Thank you for being you! Thank you for surviving and learning from the painful challenges! Blessings on your continued path.

Consider sharing your stories and your wisdom with the community of Masters of the Journey. Or, get involved in this communities events, many listed at www.facebook.com/mastersofthejourney

Growing the Garden: a Reason to Live

Do you have a good reason to live? Is there something motivating you that may help you to live longer should you find yourself with a terminal illness? I have seen mothers with young children use their love of their children to fight off near-death experiences. When asked why they chose to come back from their near-death incident, they have answered they could not leave yet, knowing that their young children would be left to grow without them. This experience has surfaced when severe accidents and terminal illness were involved. Some people are ready to pass into the next consciousness and “let go” more easily. Some people fear death or for other reasons stubbornly hold on to living. I had a male client in his late thirties who had anger as a motivation to keep living years beyond his prognosis. His wife and younger children suffered the torment of living with this angry, frustrated husband/father. When he finally did let go, there was some relief felt by caregivers and family. In this particular case, his death-defying behaviors were actually viewed as a torture for his family. Sad, but true.

Then there are people like my late wife, Barbara. She lived beyond her prognosis. She appreciated and celebrated every day that she lived with her cancer. One of her positive motivators was her passion for growing plants in her garden. Like the Winchester Mystery House, she continued to add more garden and more plants every chance she got. She rejoiced with every blossom that developed. She celebrated every vegetable that matured. She had weeding projects and building projects that never seemed to end. When she cut her blossoming flowers and brought them inside to decorate our home, I felt her joy and saw her beaming smile. She took all of our visitors on a tour of her gardens to celebrate her creations and the sensation of life that these plants symbolized. Their appreciation bolstered her energy. This energy kept her stronger for her treatments and helped her to maintain an exercise regimen. She kept her focus on living and did not discuss her condition. She did not want to be known as a cancer patient or someone struggling with a terminal illness. She did not want sympathy but wanted to bask in joy, health, happiness and the Light. She planned future dates of positive events with family and friends. She looked to the blessings in the future and not to the gathering clouds.

If this is relevant to you or to someone you know, I encourage you to help them bask in the Light of life’s celebrations. Enjoy the happiness and joys in each new day. Focus on what is working and keep moving forward.

Thank you for your attention and your time. With my love and my challenge, please keep moving closer to the light of unconditional love and higher consciousness… Find joy!

Death and Dying: Fear and Anxiety

Can you live fully if you fear death? Can you be fully present in life if you are distracted by dying? Does there come a time in your life when you can let go of your anxiety and celebrate your life?

These are not easy questions and yet they are surprisingly common. After your birth, the only certainty is that at some point you will die. No big deal, ’cause we all gotta do this, BUT, it is a big deal! In a metaphysical frame of reference, the fear and anxiety may come from the part of YOU that does NOT move on. Let’s back up! Many of us remember that our soul/spirit is neither created nor destroyed, it just changes form. As a spirit, we have lessons or challenges to encounter and we get into our life in a certain “Meat-suit” (body) so we can experience the lessons which we need to “move on.” Our “meat-suit” comes complete with a brain, emotions, “ego,” physical attributes, AND mortality. This body does not get to move on into the divine, it simply goes back into the Earth’s elements and is recycled.

The lack of our brain’s ability to understand death and our “ego’s” mortality, make for the fear and anxiety which many of us consider and shudder to deal with. Real scary fears surface and cause major distractions in life. My father was afraid of change and very fearful of dying. He did not know to trust the experience of “letting go” anywhere in his life. As he got older, his anxiety increased and he seemed to turn to his religion for comfort and found little peace of mind. He was scared! On the other hand, my mother’s life was filled with intuition and trust. She loved change and travel and adventure. Late in her life, she was somewhat impatient regarding letting go of the limitations of her body so she could “move on.” Two different role models for me. I chose to be a bit more like mom in these regards.

Some people are blessed with experiences which offer insight into death and dying like a “near death experience” (NDE) which allows them to visit the dying process but return for more living. There are many accounts written in books and articles which describe these documented experiences. In the accounts which I have read, death seems comfortable and not scary to the soul. Upon returning, the individual who experienced the NDE seems to live with less burdens regarding anxiety of dying. In many cases, there is a greater appreciation of life and greater enjoyment in experiencing living. Consider reading some of these accounts for yourself. I recommend, Ken Ring, Ph.D. as an author and researcher on NDE’s, but there are many popular books on this topic and first hand accounts of near death experience. If you read these and find them familiar, you may relieve some fear of death.

Spiritual development and learning to be more “present” can also offer you the insight that will give you comfort. I am currently participating in study groups reading the “Course in Miracles” and “The Way of Mastery” which challenge me to consider a way to find the “Divine Spirit” in my day to day living. Many meditation practices are also helpful and create positive insights which allow you develop your intuition and connection with your soul/spirit. There is great value in finding a loving supportive community where you can share the anxieties which may arise and the questions which surface. My only warning is to find a community where you are accepted for who you are and does not want you to conform in ways that restrict your spirit’s need for expansion and ACCEPTANCE. We are all in this together and we benefit from supporting others without the “judgements” that can separate us.

Blessing to you on your path. Find a way of supporting other pilgrims and reach around to lend a hand.

If you require resources for finding community or are looking to checkout other consciousness development processes, consider the new and evolving community called Masters of the Journey. We are building a website and have a Facebook presence to assist people who are searching… Please take good care of yourself.

If appropriate, please share this blog. Thank you.

Learning from Loss and Tragedy

Have you ever suffered a loss? Of course, who hasn’t? Even if this loss was a “Tragedy,” was there some benefit from the lesson you had to learn?

Every human has suffered from a loss? The loss of a job. The loss of a relationship. The loss of money or property. The loss of your innocence. The loss of a loved one, a friend, a parent, a sibling, a close family member, or a child can be a difficult, if not devastating, challenge. The most difficult group I ever had to speak with was a support group for parents who had lost their child. Many in this group were suffering. Some even after many, many years after the death. A parent’s grief is especially difficult.

My reason in writing this blog comes from my own experience with loss and grief. I seemed to manage with the death of my father when I was 35 years old. My mother passed when I was almost 51. I thought I knew something about loss and grief. The greatest lesson was when my life partner, wife, and friend, Barbara, passed away from Ovarian Cancer when I was 61. I thought that I was prepared because we had 8.5 years after receiving her “terminal” diagnosis. My naivety protected me right up until the reality of the “void” set in… It took me one year before I could even began to look at the trauma this health challenge and loss of my wife had manifested within me. Some people get angry, bitter, sad, or anxious. For me, the loss of my partner of nearly 30 years was a vacuum that could not be filled.

Today, 4.5 years later, I realize the amazing blessing I have received from this valuable lesson. The blessing comes from learning much about myself, grief, and the empathy I developed from this painful personal lesson. With surprise, I have grown from the experience of this “misfortune” as I realize the new perspective on life and even the “joy” that came from the ashes of a loss.

Sheryl Sandberg speaks about her appreciation and the lessons of gratitude she learned from losing her husband, suddenly, to an unexpected cardiac incident. Her speech at the 2016 UC Berkeley Commencement was removed from youtube however, know that I was moved to tears as I listened to her story.

“When life gives you lemons, learn to make lemonade,” the old saying goes. But finding your strength and resilience from a difficult loss can provide you with one of life’s greatest challenges and benefits. Learn, accept, and share the lessons. (Remember, you learn best by sharing your story AND you can be of service as you help to create awareness in those who you offer your experience.) When you “KNOW” the value of surviving your loss, you can move on to other lessons in this life.

Life is precious. Joy and Gratitude can be derived from unexpected appreciations of even the darkest moments. Learn from your challenges and reach around to assist other pilgrims as we move along the pathway of our lives.

Blessings.

Share this blog, if appropriate. More support for your spiritual development can be found at the Masters of the Journey website: www.mastersofthejourney.com or at the Facebook page at: www.facebook.com/mastersofthejourney

By the way, if you want to explore more information regarding death and dying, consider reading the many books written regarding Near Death Experiences (NDE’s) which can shed light on the situation your departed person experiences but offers little for your personal grief created by the void generated from the loss of your “Loved” one. In doing this research, it allows me to gain spiritual insight which helps me to live more easily in a state of grace.

Please take good care of yourself!

Spring: Rebirth and Death in the Light

It is April, 2016 and in the Northwest, Bellingham, Washington, we are feeling the warmth of sunshine and Spring! Life is blooming in every sense of the word. Life is exploding because that is what life is supposed to do at this time of year, in fact, at any time of year. Flowers are springing. Birds are doing what birds do. Joy, light, and even, Love, fill the air. We in the NW are basking in the beauty and the return of the longer, warmer days…

So two nights ago we had a small gathering at my house and a friend speaks up regarding the sudden and painful news about a childhood friend who, for his own unexplained reasons, had taken his own life! This has happened before and will happen again but the angst in the midst of re-birth weighs heavily upon the mind, emotions, and the soul of my friend (and others in this situation.) What can you say? What can you do to console a friend in this unexplainable situation and his grief? There is a lesson here for those who are left to ask, WHY??? There is a life challenge and lesson about death that we who are left behind must endure.

Another friend finds the following article about death, http://spiritlibrary.com/uriel-heals/death-dying-grace-and-peace and we read and possibly learn something from the thoughts and experience of another pilgrim. Perhaps you have been in this situation or know someone else who is? Perhaps this blog or the linked article can be of service? Perhaps you can contribute additional thoughts, articles, or videos to our library for referral to others who struggle and ask WHY?.

No matter how you contribute, thank you for your time and consideration. Meditate and send a prayer to my friend Glen or anyone else you know who may need some unconditional love and support. AND, do not miss the opportunity to hug your family and friends and tell them you love them!!!

Blessings, light, and love to you. May you bask in the warmth of sunlight and unconditional love… Appreciate Life and be Present! Find the way YOU can serve and share Love!

Share this article, if appropriate, and respond if you feel that you can add a positive contribution. We are ALL in this together and what has an effect upon one of us, challenges all of us…

Be well. Find your Bliss and celebrate life, even if you feel the struggle…

Thoughts About Dealing with Grief

What is the process of surviving grief? How can we manage to go through the stages of grief and learn the lessons that this experience is demanding that we learn? Can we enhance the processing of our grief so we can get through it most gracefully and maximize the benefits of this painful process? Can we be assisted by others involved in grieving or by a coach who can guide you through this unique experience? Can we maximize our learning as we process our grief AND serve others by sharing the process?

Everyone is different and each experience of loss and grief is unique. Since loss and grief are unavoidable experiences in life, can we engage in a process that can maximize the benefits and the learning that comes from this painful, but common, experience in life? In fact, from the moment we are born into the world we experience loss. From the warmth and safety of the womb, we are cast out into the world with the rudeness of cool air and gravity after the loss of our mother’s warmth and the buoyancy of floating in our prenatal environment. We must learn to adapt to the changes and the growth that living provides. With every learned adaptation we release our old self and enter into experiencing the world with new information and insights. This is how we develop from being a baby to growing into a child and finally into the more adult stages of life. With every step of growth we take there is a loss of innocence and we try to make the most from each of these developmental steps.

Most people admit that the support of family and friends can ease the pain of growth and enhance the essential learning and development along the way. A supportive group of fellow life explorers or trusted coach can make the processing most beneficial. For many people, our parents, siblings, and immediate family can serve as these mentors, coaches, or guides, at least for a while. Teachers, neighbors, and our youthful peers often take over but these relationships lack the bond that immediate families CAN have. (We must learn the tough lessons of selecting wisely the mentors that appear along the path of our life’s developmental stages. Mistakes are made that offer the opportunities to learn from the testing that life provides.)

At some point in our lives, we are challenged by significant losses. It may be the loss of parents or siblings or friends. It may be the loss of home environments or pets or experiences (like classrooms.) Or, you may suffer the loss of a spouse, a relationship, a divorce, a child, your health, your career/job, or your innocence as your life flows through the testing times of your life. Perhaps one of the most difficult experiences of loss is the loss of yourself or of your faith.

We are all unique and the unique differences make everyone’s experience of loss (and, in fact, every unique loss) a special unique challenge. My loss of my parents may have prepared me for the loss of my wife in some ways, however, the loss of the unique relationship I had with my wife is very different, for me, from the experience of the death of my parents. I am sure that everyone reading this article has your own series of unique losses experienced by the adventure of living your life.

In my research and from my personal experience, I believe that grieving your loss will move more quickly, if not easily, with enhanced learning opportunities if you have the “right” support. The support of healthy family or friends makes the process less lonely. The positive perspective of healthy friends will allow you to learn your lessons better. An experienced coach or therapist can be beneficial in mentoring you through this process, and it is a process that requires your time, energy, and your motivation. Not all friends, coaches, mentors, clergy, or therapists are “right” for you and your unique requirements so do not settle for the first person who appears, if you do not feel that they are perfect for you… Perhaps you will require a team of supporters and coaches. Sharing your grief and the “story,” repeatedly, will assist most people to wend their way through this difficult process. But, do not fall victim to the trap of getting stuck in your own “victim” place for too long (easier said than done.) Also, give the “gift” of allowing other people to give you support!

Ask yourself, if you can thank your loss for the lesson that you must learn. Can you be a better person due to the learning the lessons of this loss? Use the terrible pain of loss as a time of self-awareness and learning. It can be an experience that will ultimately enhance your self-esteem. The wisdom of surviving this painful experience will serve you in future travels through your life.

Avoiding dealing with grief often prolongs the process.

Keeping too busy can be avoidance.

My Pain, comes from My Loss. It is difficult to understand, how you will fill the “void” created by your loss.

Your anger may be an expression of your personal loss of control. People can get stuck in their anger.

People fear being alone and avoid their own company because they may feel driven to immerse themselves in another person’s life to avoid learning to accept their own life’s flaws or imperfections.

Please share if appropriate and send feedback to the Stress Education Center.

PS August 19th is the date of my wedding anniversary. I feel the loss of my wife from January, 2012 as I write. The lessons I have learned, AND continue to learn, from this loss are very important to me and my growth. Blessings to you readers and tell your family and friends how much you love them… Do not miss this opportunity.

Growing the Garden: a Reason to Live

Do you have a good reason to live? Is there something motivating you that may help to live longer should you find yourself with a terminal illness? I have seen mothers with young children use their love of their children to fight off near-death experiences. When asked why they chose to come back from their near-death incident, they have answered they could not leave yet, knowing that their young children would be left to grow without them. This experience has surfaced when severe accidents and terminal illness were involved. Some people are ready to pass into the next consciousness and “let go” more easily. Some people fear death or for other reasons stubbornly hold on to living. I had a male client in his late thirties who had anger as a motivation to keep living years beyond his prognosis. His wife and younger children suffered the torment of living with this angry, frustrated husband/father. When he finally did let go, there was some relief felt by caregivers and family. In this particular case, his death-defying behaviors were actually viewed as a torture for his family. Sad, but true.

Then there are people like my late wife, Barbara. She lived beyond her prognosis. She appreciated and celebrated every day that she lived with her cancer. One of her positive motivators was her passion for growing plants in her garden. Like the Winchester Mystery House, she continued to add more garden and more plants every chance she got. She rejoiced with every blossom that developed. She celebrated every vegetable that matured. She had weeding projects and building projects that never seemed to end. When she cut her blossoming flowers and brought them inside to decorate our home, I felt her joy and saw her beaming smile. She took all of our visitors on a tour of her gardens to celebrate her creations and the sensation of life that these plants symbolized. Their appreciation bolstered her energy. This energy kept her stronger for her treatments and helped her to maintain an exercise regimen. She kept her focus on living and did not discuss her condition. She did not want to be known as a cancer patient or someone struggling with a terminal illness. She did not want sympathy but wanted to bask in joy, health, happiness and the Light. She planned future dates of positive events with family and friends. She looked to the blessings in the future and not to the gathering clouds.

If this is relevant to you or to someone you know, I encourage you to help them bask in the Light of life’s celebrations. Enjoy the happiness and joys in each new day. Focus on what is working and keep moving forward.

Thank you for your attention and your time. With my love and my challenge, please keep moving closer to the light of unconditional love and higher consciousness… Find joy!

You Are Loved…Near Death Experience of Heaven

A past blog was titled “Proof of Heaven” based partly on the book by that name written by Dr. Eben Alexander. He wrote the story of his own near death experience (NDE) and about some of the “lessons” that he learned while being “out of his body…” His story was similiar to many that I have read about from interviews with people who had near death experiences. Two researchers, Raymond Moody and Ken Ring, have documented hundreds of these people. I am sure that there are many other researchers collecting these accounts from people from around the world. If you are interested, there are books written that have fascinated me in my research.

On page 71 of the “Proof of Heaven” (in my paperback version of Eben ALexander’s book) I quote the most basic, AND important, lesson that he received from his NDE. These were the concepts/feelings that he received while meeting the supreme being of love and light (perhaps God).
1.) “You are loved and cherished”…
2.) “You have nothing to fear.” and,
3.) “There is nothing you can do wrong.”

These are words to LIVE by. Who would not want to know that you are “loved and cherished?” Yes, even the “bad guys” and the people have made terrible situations (perhaps accidents) happen in the world. It takes time to digest and the Buddhists have been offering this philosophy for thousands of years, knowing that it requires a long time to actually know and FEEL this to be true. I challenge you to explore this belief, even better when you do NOT put the filters of one religion or another on your research. Find the truth from your spirit as found in your “gut” response and how it truly feels to you.

We may not know for sure whether these words and thoughts hold true until we experience our ultimate transition, but it gives me comfort that my loved ones are in a better place and I may join them when my time has come.

Live with grace. Bask in love. AND, fear not the end of life transition that we must all face.

Basking in the Brilliance of Spirit

What feeds your spirit? What activities connect you with your spirit? How often do you seek to develop your spiritual nature? When we speak of “spirit” or spiritual development in this article, we are not speaking about learning religious philosophy or in practicing religious rituals. Instead, we are speaking of the deeper connections with the brilliance of love and light that comes from deep within every living being. In doing so, there is no exclusion of spirit due to different philosophical or religious beliefs or attitudes. There are no qualifications or exclusions from connecting with spirit. One of the main understandings regarding this celebration of spirit is that “we are all at one” with all other living creatures. We are all “connected.”

Time and space (place) are less of a division in the world of spirit. Spirit may be more a feeling rather than a thought. For people who have been able to bring these feelings back from a spiritual experience often describe a feeling of “oneness” or a sense of deep connection. There may also be a feeling of “unconditional love” which can also be described in some religions as a feeling of connection with the religion’s God, but not necessarily with all the morale or cultural beliefs.

People will visit a glorious natural environment and feel the power of connection with natural beauty that has the power to create calmness and sometimes healing. When learning to connect with your spirit it is good to be reminded that you can get there more easily if you “Quiet your mind” and control your expectations. (Neither of these is easy to do when getting started but can come more easily with practice.) It is important to be “still” and to let “it” come to you. Chasing the spirit can make it more difficult to do. A final reminder: Be Open… You may not experience the process in the way you think you might need, but actually get the experience that you will best learn from…. If, you are open to it.

I am reminded of a time when I was in a late afternoon meditation on a cliff that over looked the waves churning unto a beach in Sonoma County, CA. With my mind reaching to be in “neutral” (no extra thoughts), I found myself listening to a dialogue in my head. One voice seemed to come from the perspective of a “guide” in the form of a seagull who was describing the birth of the winds as a power to consider. The Voice suggested that the winds were created by the difference in temperatures of the ocean and the land. As the land heated up and warmed the air over it, the air would rise and the cooler air over the ocean would rush in to fill this void, so creating a breeze. Waves are generated by the movements of the wind and their force is respected for the great power that this force of nature manifests. The Voice asked me to consider harnessing the power of the winds as seagulls do as they soar, almost effortlessly, by using the currents of wind. A part of me listened to the dialogue with fascination. Another part of my mind was asking where this Voice was coming from and where the information of this Voice was coming from. I considered the experience as a connection with the “collective unconscious” described by many famous psychologists and philosophers. I felt blessed to be allowed to share in this mind expanding experience.

Another late afternoon meditation created a powerful but not uncommon learning experience. In my visualization, I imagined that I was sitting by a river with my back against a tree. I pictured myself meditating and seeing the transformation of the river in front of me into the “River of Life.” It was golden in color. It flowed from my right side to my left, slowly and evenly. I “knew” that the waters would eventually empty into the sea. Each golden molecule of water represented a living soul. The molecules of water would evaporate from the sea to form golden clouds which would lead to a golden rain high up in the mountains. The molecules would join other molecules to form small streams flowing downhill to join larger rivers until the “cycle of life” would be repeat by following the path of the golden river of life back to the sea, once again. I saw myself as a molecule of water swirling downstream occasionally being caught in an eddy and swirling in circles to learn my lessons. Most importantly, I felt myself “connected” to all other living things in this river of life. I knew that I was never alone or separate from other living beings as we struggle to improve and move forward with our lessons of life. Though this meditation happened for me almost 40 years ago, I remember it and I feel it as if it was happening right now… This type of connection with the oneness of consciousness is far from unique. It has happened before and will happen again in some form or another for people who are open to this transformative experience/lesson.

Please consider taking time to connect with your spirit and celebrating the learning that you can achieve. It will change your life.

For life balance and stress management, it is important to maintain your ideal state of mind, body, and spirit. Too focused attention on any one area, over the others, may provide an imbalance that will not allow the best quality of life. Please take good care of yourself.

Please comment on this blog if you are so moved.

Coping with Grief and Loss – a Process

We all suffer from loss in our lives. Sometimes the loss relates to transitions through life that are normal and expected states of growth and development such as moving from childhood, through the teenage years, and then into the adult responsibilities that confront most people. Though this is a difficult transition, we must all face this if we live past our 18th birthday. There are more serious or traumatic losses that many of us encounter such as the death of close family member or friend, the loss of health due to accident or illness, the loss of an important relationship, or possibly the loss experienced with a career change or loss of a job. These are difficult times and hard lessons to experience in the course of life. These losses, though potentially painful, can be times of learning and personal growth. Many of these transitions can be less distracting and with a greater potential for learning if you have a positive support network. Here is the dilemma. Most people do not have a network of healthy, positive supporters to allow for movement through difficult transitions with grace and healing perspectives.

We can learn from our painful transitions and losses. We can wade through these changes more gracefully, and possibly with less discomfort, if we have the best team of support surrounding us. Some people look for professional counselors or coaches, or perhaps clergy to help with difficult transitions. Some of us have personal mentors who can be trusted and who have the necessary communication skills to assist in times of need. Some of us have healthy relationships, friends or family who can help without too much of their own “baggage.” Many people do not have enough access to the positive supporters who can help us through the grief that life throws at us.

There are many books and potential sources of information which help us to understand the process of dealing with loss and grief but for most people reading about the grief process is not enough. We need to be supported by a personalized experience that we can gather around us as we muddle our way through our emotional and spiritual pains of loss. We need to be “touched” by the proper support in many ways. We need to be allowed our grief and yet “called on it” when we have gone past the limit and start the “wallowing process.” We need to find the exact, personalized process to assist in managing the stress, anxiety, pain, confusion, and the “emptiness” of replacing the part of ourselves which has been lost with the more experienced and empowered person who has survived a major change/loss/growth… Do not miss the opportunity to build a support network of “healthy” and available people. You never know when a need will arise for this special support.

Each of us need to find the best way to learn our lesson and then to move on into our new, restructured life. We need to learn the best way to take care of ourselves, benefit from the lessons, and then discover the most appropriate directions to move our new life. To do this, we need to find people we can trust and invest the resources into the process of self-care and self-development so we can move down the path that leads to our goals. This is easier said than done, but if you realize that you would survive this transition more easily and possibly more quickly with positive assistance then you must do the work and find the correct support you require.

In the future, we will be expanding and releasing information regarding a new program which can assist most people in developing an individualized transition plan. We are beginning to build a process for creating a positive support network which will enable participants to discover their strengths, accept their weakness or flaws, and to free up energy to invest for moving toward positive goals and enhanced lifestyles. The working title for this process is “Finding Your Tone.”

Please comment or send questions to the Stress Education Center at wellness@dstress.com or visit the website at www.dstress.com.