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Being Present: Key to Mindfulness

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Have you ever suffered from anxiety, fear, or major stress? If so, then the chances are good that the fear or anxiety were born out of an experience from the past, as a learned response, or from fears of some future unknown or uncontrollable event. Throughout our lives we suffer great or small traumas and our body learns to respond to similar scenarios as if we were having PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) reactions. In deed, we may have mini-PTSD responses to fearful or difficult events even if these past events were not life threatening. Most importantly, if we ruminate on past events then we are not totally “present” in our bodies, in present time. Our bodies will then attempt to make us “present” by dragging us back into the present moment with an irritating, if not worse, symptom like an anxiety attack. This symptom is not necessarily the enemy, but it is a warning sign that we are not paying attention to our bodies, in the present moment.

Fear of the unknown or the uncertainty of what can happen in the future will also trigger a symptom of fear or anxiety. Since we can not predict the future with 100% accuracy, our flight-fight response can be triggered and physical or emotional symptoms can be exacerbated. When we lose track of the present moment, our body can force us to consider the present in rude ways.

Conversely, at the heart of every stress or anxiety management technique are simple activities designed to bring us back into our bodies in the present moment and in a “positive way.” One strong example is the request to take a deep slow breath and to feel the cool air as you inhale and the warm breath as you exhale. This simple, but powerful, request asks that you release thoughts regarding the past or expectations of the future and to feel the subtle difference of a slow inhale and exhale. This act of Mindfulness can back you away from your fear or anxiety especially when this has been rehearsed enough to become a habituated pattern.

Being Present or practicing Mindfulness is easier said than done, but the concept is not difficult to understand and with practice not too difficult to learn. Being prepared to “let go” of fear, anxiety, or traumatic thoughts can be very useful and can succeed when the skill of “Being Present” has become a positive habit.

Other techniques for mindfulness would include feeling: muscles relaxing, heart rate slowing, hands and feet warming, stomach tension releasing, and sensations of slowing down of distracting thoughts. Techniques which can lead to this state of mind and body, when practiced, include: Meditations, Autogenic Training, Progressive Relaxations, Visualizations/Imagery, forms of Self-Hypnosis, Breathing techniques, Yoga/Stretching, biofeedback training, and other types of focusing and observations. The secret is to find the one that works best for you, master it, and then use it preventively on a regular basis.

Information at the Stress Education Center’s website wwww.dstress.com may prove helpful to you.

Basking in the Light of Self-Acceptance

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Can you allow yourself to bask in the light of Self-Love and Self-Acceptance? Can you see and accept both your strengths and your flaws? Can you find a way to break from being a “victim” of your challenges and your lessons?

Life would be easy if the answers to these questions was “Yes.” For most of us, we are in the struggle called “living” and can not find the time and energy to even ask these questions, let alone, develop the answers. These are questions that people have asked and struggled to answer since the first humans had enough consciousness to realize that they were more than just animals attempting to survive in a difficult, dangerous world. The lessons of consciousness that we historically struggle with are often ones like: What is my purpose? or Why am I alive? or Is there a God? or What happens when I die? or How can I find Love? or How can I keep the faith even as the storm of humiliation and disappointment surround me? There are no easy answers… but for each of us the process of discovery along the path to finding these answers is what our lives are all about.

I believe that each one of us is connected to a higher consciousness and our goal in life is to learn from our flaws/challenges so we can get a less filtered view of this pure consciousness. We are trying to connect with the God within us and to bask in the light of unconditional love and consciousness.

At some point, we must acknowledge our imperfections and find a way to accept these challenges as the lessons we have to learn. By accepting these flaws and giving up the “fight against them,” we can free our energy to find a better way to our life’s purpose and our goals. By giving up being a victim to our weaknesses or imperfections, we can invest our time and energy in moving more freely to the light of higher consciousness. Why is it easier to accept other people and their imperfections, than it is to accept our own? Accept and celebrate your flaws, especially if you wish to find a way to move in more positive directions.

Along the way, find and celebrate the God within you. You may be surprised to find how surprisingly familiar this supreme consciousness really is. (For me, God is not a religious term. It is a word that symbolizes unconditional love in the purest form and the highest consciousness that connects all living things.)

Basking in the Brilliance of Spirit

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What feeds your spirit? What activities connect you with your spirit? How often do you seek to develop your spiritual nature? When we speak of “spirit” or spiritual development in this article, we are not speaking about learning religious philosophy or in practicing religious rituals. Instead, we are speaking of the deeper connections with the brilliance of love and light that comes from deep within every living being. In doing so, there is no exclusion of spirit due to different philosophical or religious beliefs or attitudes. There are no qualifications or exclusions from connecting with spirit. One of the main understandings regarding this celebration of spirit is that “we are all at one” with all other living creatures. We are all “connected.”

Time and space (place) are less of a division in the world of spirit. Spirit may be more a feeling rather than a thought. For people who have been able to bring these feelings back from a spiritual experience often describe a feeling of “oneness” or a sense of deep connection. There may also be a feeling of “unconditional love” which can also be described in some religions as a feeling of connection with the religion’s God, but not necessarily with all the morale or cultural beliefs.

People will visit a glorious natural environment and feel the power of connection with natural beauty that has the power to create calmness and sometimes healing. When learning to connect with your spirit it is good to be reminded that you can get there more easily if you “Quiet your mind” and control your expectations. (Neither of these is easy to do when getting started but can come more easily with practice.) It is important to be “still” and to let “it” come to you. Chasing the spirit can make it more difficult to do. A final reminder: Be Open… You may not experience the process in the way you think you might need, but actually get the experience that you will best learn from…. If, you are open to it.

I am reminded of a time when I was in a late afternoon meditation on a cliff that over looked the waves churning unto a beach in Sonoma County, CA. With my mind reaching to be in “neutral” (no extra thoughts), I found myself listening to a dialogue in my head. One voice seemed to come from the perspective of a “guide” in the form of a seagull who was describing the birth of the winds as a power to consider. The Voice suggested that the winds were created by the difference in temperatures of the ocean and the land. As the land heated up and warmed the air over it, the air would rise and the cooler air over the ocean would rush in to fill this void, so creating a breeze. Waves are generated by the movements of the wind and their force is respected for the great power that this force of nature manifests. The Voice asked me to consider harnessing the power of the winds as seagulls do as they soar, almost effortlessly, by using the currents of wind. A part of me listened to the dialogue with fascination. Another part of my mind was asking where this Voice was coming from and where the information of this Voice was coming from. I considered the experience as a connection with the “collective unconscious” described by many famous psychologists and philosophers. I felt blessed to be allowed to share in this mind expanding experience.

Another late afternoon meditation created a powerful but not uncommon learning experience. In my visualization, I imagined that I was sitting by a river with my back against a tree. I pictured myself meditating and seeing the transformation of the river in front of me into the “River of Life.” It was golden in color. It flowed from my right side to my left, slowly and evenly. I “knew” that the waters would eventually empty into the sea. Each golden molecule of water represented a living soul. The molecules of water would evaporate from the sea to form golden clouds which would lead to a golden rain high up in the mountains. The molecules would join other molecules to form small streams flowing downhill to join larger rivers until the “cycle of life” would be repeat by following the path of the golden river of life back to the sea, once again. I saw myself as a molecule of water swirling downstream occasionally being caught in an eddy and swirling in circles to learn my lessons. Most importantly, I felt myself “connected” to all other living things in this river of life. I knew that I was never alone or separate from other living beings as we struggle to improve and move forward with our lessons of life. Though this meditation happened for me almost 40 years ago, I remember it and I feel it as if it was happening right now… This type of connection with the oneness of consciousness is far from unique. It has happened before and will happen again in some form or another for people who are open to this transformative experience/lesson.

Please consider taking time to connect with your spirit and celebrating the learning that you can achieve. It will change your life.

For life balance and stress management, it is important to maintain your ideal state of mind, body, and spirit. Too focused attention on any one area, over the others, may provide an imbalance that will not allow the best quality of life. Please take good care of yourself.

Please comment on this blog if you are so moved.

How Much Sleep Do YOU Need?

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I am L. John Mason, Ph.D. and I founded the Stress Education Center (www.dstress.com) in 1978. Like you, I have required sleep every day of my life. But the question arises, how much sleep do you require to be happy, healthy, and most productive. This is more complicated than you might image. Even the “Sleep experts” have difficulty agreeing because this is such a complicated question. There is a great deal of good information about sleep and how much you may require at the “Sleep Foundation’s” website at http://www.sleepfoundation.org/

Since everyone has different lifestyles, health backgrounds, ages, and living environments the understanding regarding your specific requirements for sleep gets difficult. Experts do agree that babies and young children require more sleep that most adults. The chart below comes from National Sleep Foundation.

Age: Sleep Needs:
Newborns (0-2 Months) 12-18 hours/day of sleep
Infants (3-11 Months) 14-15 hours
Toddlers (1-3 Years) 12-14 hours
Preschool (3-5 Years) 11-13 hours
School Age (5-10 Years) 10-11 hours
Teens (10-17 Years) 8.5-9.25 hours
Adults 7-9 hours

As you can see, this may not fit for many of us who get less than 7 hours of sleep due to choice or lifestyle. There is also research that suggests that too much sleep can have negative impacts for many people as well. The “quality” of your sleep will also be a factor in the duration that you require for sleep. The quality of sleep will be discussed in another blog as well as tips for getting the best sleep.

In a recent article at http://www.foxnews.com/health/2012/04/27/30-percent-us-workers-dont-get-enough-sleep/ researchers reported that 30% of workers are not getting enough sleep and it affects their work.

We need to understand our own body’s requirements for sleep to determine the best length for our best health. If you wake tired, you can assume that you are not getting enough “quality” sleep. Reduced sleep can lead to low energy, poor concentration and reduced productivity, possible depression, weight gain, and a variety of more serious health challenges, including heart disease. Too much sleep can lead to accidents, illnesses, and even death as reported by sleep researchers. The “right” amount of sleep will vary for you and is affected by what your environment and life changes can do to your physical and emotional health & well-being. Changing work schedules (or activities like classes) can be factors that need to be considered in your need for sleep and need to be taken into account as you determine how much sleep you require. Also, talk to your doctor about how medications, diet, and especially caffeine can be affecting you and your requirements for sleep.

Stress management can offer better sleep, better focus, and control of the anxiety that can be negative on your quality of life. Consider the information offered by the Stress Education Center at www.dstress.com including the audio download for stress control to improve your sleep.

5 Powerful Stress Management Tools

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There are many stress management techniques. Everyone who has spent time attempting to find the best stress management technique has found that there are many ways to reduce stress. The block to success has been that it requires time and patience to develop the awareness and the skills to allow these techniques to have their maximum benefit. I want to list 5 of my favorite techniques and would encourage you to consider trying one or more of these until you find the ones that work best for you. If you have suffered from: lack of focus, high blood pressure, anxiety/panic, headaches, or sleeping problems, seriously consider learning one or more of the following techniques to minimize stress in your body and to get back in control of your life.

Many people have tried forms of Eastern Meditation to relax. These techniques have been around for thousand of years. The “Western mind” may struggle with the discipline it requires to focus your attention and to then “still” your mind. When coaching busy individuals, I do not start with these techniques, except for some of the basic breathing techniques.

What I do start with, and is #1 on my stress management list, is Autogenic Training phrases. I learned these in 1977 as part of some of my original training in stress management and biofeedback. This is the technique that I use regularly for myself. This style of stress management uses 6 basic phrases that I repeat to myself, each 3 times, and then with practice get to the level of stress management that I desire. First there is a “mood” phrase- “I am at peace with myself and fully relaxed” to get me in the mood to begin relaxation. The text for the entire exercise is available in my books with a chapter dedicated to Autogenic training in “Guide to Stress Reduction.” The six basic phrases include: “My right arm is heavy,” repeated 3 times, (then left arm, right leg, left leg, and neck and shouldes are heavy) (which is used to begin to relax skeletal muscles,) then “My right arm is warm,” slowly repeated 3 times, (then left arm, right leg, left leg, and neck and shoulders are warm) (which is used to improve blood flow and circulation into the extremities,) then “My heart beat is calm and regular,” then “My breathing is calm and regular,” then “My stomach region is warm and calm,” and finally, “My forehead is cool and calm (or smooth.” Amazing results after daily use for 8-12 weeks especially with sympathetic nervous system symptoms like: migraine headaches, high blood pressure, panic/anxiety, distress related digestive challenges, etc

My #2 relaxation favorite is progressive relaxation. There is a whole chapter about this technique in “Guide to Stress Reduction” and many other sources. There two major versions of Progressive Relaxation including an “active version” where you tighten and then release muscle groups and the second form which is the “passive version” of attending to muscles and releasing tension without tightening the muscle groups. This is great for sleeping problems, headaches, neck/shoulder pain, and back pain.

#3 is using Visualization or Imagery for stress management. This is often combined with one of my first 2 choices to deepen a relaxation practice. This involves using your imagination to see or feel or hear or even smell mentally constructed relaxation triggers. As an example, picture yourself on a mental vacation in beautiful place outdoors on a warm and peaceful day. Settle back into what ever you might imagine yourself lying on such a lounge chair or a blanket in the warm sand (or grass.) Imagine that you can feel the warmth of the sunshine or the warm breezes as the tension melts away. Perhaps you can imagine the sounds that might surround you like the sound of waves or running water or the sounds of the birds or the warm breezes. Perhaps you can imagine the smell of salt air, or of the flowers or grasses or of the woods. Imagine that you can soak up the warmth and let the tension melt away. This is fun mental relaxation that can help you to control anxiety and start the process of encouraging healing o begin.

#4 Using special breathing techniques to slow yourself down and distract yourself from stressful experiences. Start with taking 3 slow deep breaths to begin to trigger some relaxation. Then you may want to take 4 breaths by slow counting 1-4 as you inhale, then hold your breath for a count of 1-4, and then slowly exhale as you count 1-8. The counting will occupy your mind and help you to relax. A great counting relaxation at bedtime involves counting backward from 50 down to 1 but do it this way. 50,1,2,3, 49,1,2,3 48,1,2,3, 47,12,3 etc. Your mind can get bored with keeping these numbers in line and gradually drift off into a restful sleep. (key: do not rush through this counting and breathe slowly.)

#5 is using a form of biofeedback to monitor your body’s level of stress and then monitor your learning of relaxation as you “let go” of your stress. There are several forms of biofeedback which are used. EMG biofeedback measures levels of electrical activity, or muscle tension, and teaches you to relax specific muscle groups. A more inexpensive form is temperature biofeedback where you begin by taping a simple thermometer to the side of your index finger and allow yourself to relax until you feel your hands warm above 90 degrees Fahrenheit. 93-95 degrees Fahrenheit is ideal and usually symbolizes relaxation of this system. The reason this works for many people is that when we are under the effects of stress we often constrict blood flow into our hands and feet as a survival response. When you can “let go” and have a vaso-dialation which increases blow flow into your extremities you are better able to “let go” of emotional stress and function at a more ideal level.

Most of these simple, but powerful, stress management techniques are described in “Guide to Stress Reduction” and at the Stress Education Center’s website at www.dstress.com. Audios are available for download as stress management products and are at the core of the 5 session online stress management course. Contact us with any questions or for stress management coaching/training.

More information and detailed stress management techniques are listed at the Stress Education Center’s webpage. Please visit and read the “articles” which may assist you.

Anxiety & Aging the Dilemma for Baby Boomers

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I admit it. I am an aging Baby Boomer. I accept than I am aging and that I am not in my 20’s, nor 30’s, even my 40’s or 50’s. I am past 60 and more than beginning to show my age. Physically, I mean. Mentally, emotionally, and spiritually I am still a puppy BUT… If you are a Baby Boomer, you know where I am going with this.

My hair is not the same color as it was in my 20’s. Nor is there as much hair as there was in those photos of me with shoulder length locks and the full dark beard that I recently posted on Facebook. Believe it or not, I weigh more than I did when I was in my early 20s. In my early 50s, I took to wearing reading glasses and now my bifocals are my constant companion. Even my hearing has been impacted by the time, activities, and the years since my youth. My doctor reminds me that I need certain regular unspeakable tests as a more than I would want, course of my annual physicals. Though I manage my stress and anxiety fairly well through regular relaxation, meditation, and exercise, I find the anxiety of aging creeping closer to the surface. The situation is not unique just to me.

I don’t have the youthful energy that I once had nor the ability to focus and concentrate. It seems to take me longer to learn certain tasks and yet I do not want to give up on learning new things. I am not sure whether I am just frustrated by the aging process or whether there is some deeper levels of anxiety and fears that I or someone like me, may need to address. For most of my life, I have a pattern of being oppositional and not truly fitting in with the age that has been prescribed for me. I still feel youthful, excited, and passionate about life and yet I don’t seem to have quite as much energy. So as I struggle with the current reality I know that I am not alone and that there are many people who are dealing with the same situation and would like to find a forum for us all to work together and to support each other as we deal with the consequences of aging.

I do not claim to have a magic diet or exercise program that can eliminate the impact of aging. I would like to be able to offer a process where each of us can minimize the impact of the anxiety of aging. There are people who struggle a great deal more than me with the discovery of wrinkles, lack of skin tone, the widening of the waistline, the reduction of hair, or even the loss of key body parts like teeth. I have been blessed with a relatively healthy body and yet I still feel the effects of the aging process as I celebrate my mid-60s. This may not be true for everyone, but I do not wish to go back and be a teenager or someone in my 20s again. I simply wish that my body did not behave as if it were a large sack of stones that I must drag around at certain times.

For me a passive life of sitting still does not resonate. I like to be active and energized by new and exciting things. I like to tell my stories of times past when I hiked over mountain passes far above timberline and yet most days I do not feel I have the energy to trudge up those trails the way I did in my 20s and 30s and 40s. Truth be known, I can still do many of the things that I tell stories about but in this day and age I would do them more slowly and probably less gracefully. Again, I do not find my situation unique to me and I would like to be a voice for many of us baby boomers who can still not believe that the insidious aging process offers us “better days”.

Perhaps what is needed is a new perspective and a new way of looking at my now worn life. People tell me that I should focus on the positive like what I can do and what my body is able to perform. And yet there are times when any limitation makes me boil. I also admit that I am far from being a patient person. I’ve said for years that there will be a time later in life when I engage in accepting the process of being patient. I have not found that time in life as of yet. I’m not jealous of people who have their youth or of people who are in better shape than I, I am only envious of my memories of what I once took for granted and now find difficult if not impossible to do.

My ranting in this blog is designed to be a point of discussion. I would like to build a process where there can be physical control of fear and anxiety and the wherewithal to find greater emotional acceptance to live with the challenges that we all must face. From using the techniques that I have taught for 40 years in stress management and from sports psychology, I know that there are ways that we can minimize the impact of the aging process at least on our mind and our spirit. If you have an interest in developing your own skills for dealing with the aging process please contribute to this blog with comments and continue to follow your passion and be a role model for all of us.

Thank you for your time and consideration. Blessings to you and all of us baby boomers.

Feeding People Feeding Your Soul

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There is nothing more basic about sharing and serving than feeding people. Whether the people you are feeding are your family, your friends, or people in need, it makes no difference. For most people, feeding your children and family comes naturally, but we are all family…

A few days ago, I cooked for the Thanksgiving meal and opened my home to feed my family. In the United States, Thanksgiving Day is holiday and ceremony of giving thanks for a harvest and the bountiful meal that early settlers shared in the earliest days of United States history. It can be attributed to the “pilgrims” of the first colonies in Plymouth, Massachusetts which was colonized by people from England. Originally it may have been the offering of thanks to God for leading them to New England and providing food for them and their Native American neighbors. The local Native Americans probably helped to save these early colonists from starvation by showing them how to eat local fish, shellfish, meat, and vegetation. The act of sharing of food in this meal as a community became the core of the sharing of the Thanksgiving Day meal. Americans having taken this ritual to the highest levels of gluttony and so American families hold the expectation that Thanksgiving will provide a meal that will be rich and overdone. It has become a time of family gathering, sometimes over extremely long distances, to come together and to over-eat.

Many people (and families) choose to celebrate the bounty of thanksgiving by volunteering food and service to help feed less fortunate people. It offers a chance to feel good emotionally and to “give back” for the blessings of good fortune that have graced their lives. Whether you volunteer to feed the needy or host family and friends, we celebrate the gift of giving. AND, as a guest, know that you are also giving a gift of allowing others to give to you. Receiving is a blessing for the hosts and the people who volunteer to offer this experience of giving to others.

The ritual of sharing food has existed since before written history. It is not an exercise provided just during the “Holidays” and it is often needed more throughout the year than just at Christmas or Thanksgiving Day. The feeding of children, veterans and their families, disabled people, and our older folks are needed now in America more than ever before. It has become a sad necessity of living in our declining civilization that we must share food and support with family, friends, fellow church members, and other people in need.

But this is not about politics or economics, it is about the spirit of giving and sharing. For me, the act of feeding people becomes a satisfying act of feeding my soul… Please consider your role in sharing with others. Remember, also, the value of receiving in this equation and I send a special thank you to the people who shared my table for Thanksgiving for allowing me the gift of cooking the meal for you.

Find the best way to feed your soul & spirit. Make time and energy for this endeavor. Perhaps, you can find the best way to serve.

3 Pillars of Health and Wellness

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Most people want to be healthy. Most people enjoy feeling good, having energy, and having their bodies be able to do the activities that are required. Most people take their good health for granted until an accident or illness robs them of their naivety. As we get older, most of us discover that good health is not always to be expected and that it may require some attention to maintain even normal levels of good health. We inherit characteristics from our families both physically, through our genetic code, and as we learn about lifestyle choices. Many families have heart disease or diabetes or obesity or dental problems, etc in their family histories which means that you may be born with a proclivity to develop certain health challenges. Or, we learn by watching our parents live in a healthy way (lifestyle) or a less than healthy lifestyle. We can not always prevent the characteristics we inherit from having a negative impact on our health and our lives. We can take steps to minimize the possible problems from developing or keep them from affecting us in the most damaging ways by practicing health and wellness for prevention. This is easier said than done.

Most people lack the focus, the motivation, and the energy to select the healthier options and to use them regularly. That is why the lifestyle diseases like heart disease, strokes, lung cancer, addiction, and obesity are still the major killers in our society. That is one huge reason why our healthcare costs are so high.
If we “took responsibility” for our good health and practiced wellness, we could live longer in better health. Taking responsibility for our actions is not practiced or taught effectively in our society (editorial opinion.) Most people find that the easier way to live is seductive but not the healthiest way to live. Convenience is not often the long term solution. Bad habits are bad choices.

The 3 principles of wellness and prevention of many diseases are 1. Physical exercise/activity on a regular basis, 2. Eating healthy with reduced portions of more naturally occurring foods, and 3. practicing regular stress management. It requires commitment to put time and energy into using these three pillars of health and many people will try one or two but not find all three in their lives.

Physical exercise or activities for prevention and optimal health should include at least 30 minutes per day for a minimum of 5 days per week. This is minimum for most people to maintain health and vitality. Exercise can be walking, jogging, swimming, cycling, dancing, playing, etc. It does NOT include TV watching or video gaming. Some societies and cultures promote non-automobile driving transportation which may make these people healthier and less sedentary.

Healthy diet and nutritional practices often include eating as close to natural and less “processed foods.” Many people believe the American society eats too much meat, or dairy, or “fast foods,” and this is probably true. Since every person is different, it is difficult to make a blanket judgement and say that “meat eating,” as an example, is bad for everyone. But it is accurate to say that eating too many calories, or too much fast food, or too much food with unpronounceable ingredients is just not a wise choice. Preservatives, artificial coloring, high sugar content, and unnatural flavorings may be worth avoiding, at least in large doses. Fresh fruit and vegetables along with whole grains are generally considered good, unless you have digestive difficulties.

Stress management is very important but often over-looked. Stress kills people. Stress creeps in to people’s lives and robs them of energy, focus, strength, and even time. Stress management often can not eliminate stress from your life, but it can help to minimize the negative effects of stress and anxiety. Our 24/7 information age has create a new set of challenges for our society, and more importantly, our bodies to adapt to reducing the constant attack. A daily relaxation or stress reduction ritual is worthwhile and will save you TIME and energy, in the long run. (Do not believe me…. GO try it for at least 8-12 weeks.)

There are many sources of information regarding healthy choices and prevention techniques that can help to keep us happier and healthier, however, NOT ALL INFORMATION YOU FIND ON THE INTERNET IS RIGHT FOR YOU! You have to make informed choices and you may need GOOD advice and support. Hopefully, you have a GOOD physician or a GOOD nutritionist or a GOOD pharmacist or a GOOD health coach you can discuss information with. Not all health practionners are “GOOD” or have your best well-being in mind. Be careful and get more than one opinion if you are not sure.

Get motivated and get to work. If you need support, find a qualified health coach or trainer to get you started. TAKE responsibility and do not make excuses.

The Stress Education Center has information on many aspects of health and wellness, especially stress reduction. Visit the website at www.dstress.com to learn more about how you get started on your own or get coaching to build a program that is tailored to your specifc requirements.

Coping with Grief and Loss – a Process

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We all suffer from loss in our lives. Sometimes the loss relates to transitions through life that are normal and expected states of growth and development such as moving from childhood, through the teenage years, and then into the adult responsibilities that confront most people. Though this is a difficult transition, we must all face this if we live past our 18th birthday. There are more serious or traumatic losses that many of us encounter such as the death of close family member or friend, the loss of health due to accident or illness, the loss of an important relationship, or possibly the loss experienced with a career change or loss of a job. These are difficult times and hard lessons to experience in the course of life. These losses, though potentially painful, can be times of learning and personal growth. Many of these transitions can be less distracting and with a greater potential for learning if you have a positive support network. Here is the dilemma. Most people do not have a network of healthy, positive supporters to allow for movement through difficult transitions with grace and healing perspectives.

We can learn from our painful transitions and losses. We can wade through these changes more gracefully, and possibly with less discomfort, if we have the best team of support surrounding us. Some people look for professional counselors or coaches, or perhaps clergy to help with difficult transitions. Some of us have personal mentors who can be trusted and who have the necessary communication skills to assist in times of need. Some of us have healthy relationships, friends or family who can help without too much of their own “baggage.” Many people do not have enough access to the positive supporters who can help us through the grief that life throws at us.

There are many books and potential sources of information which help us to understand the process of dealing with loss and grief but for most people reading about the grief process is not enough. We need to be supported by a personalized experience that we can gather around us as we muddle our way through our emotional and spiritual pains of loss. We need to be “touched” by the proper support in many ways. We need to be allowed our grief and yet “called on it” when we have gone past the limit and start the “wallowing process.” We need to find the exact, personalized process to assist in managing the stress, anxiety, pain, confusion, and the “emptiness” of replacing the part of ourselves which has been lost with the more experienced and empowered person who has survived a major change/loss/growth… Do not miss the opportunity to build a support network of “healthy” and available people. You never know when a need will arise for this special support.

Each of us need to find the best way to learn our lesson and then to move on into our new, restructured life. We need to learn the best way to take care of ourselves, benefit from the lessons, and then discover the most appropriate directions to move our new life. To do this, we need to find people we can trust and invest the resources into the process of self-care and self-development so we can move down the path that leads to our goals. This is easier said than done, but if you realize that you would survive this transition more easily and possibly more quickly with positive assistance then you must do the work and find the correct support you require.

In the future, we will be expanding and releasing information regarding a new program which can assist most people in developing an individualized transition plan. We are beginning to build a process for creating a positive support network which will enable participants to discover their strengths, accept their weakness or flaws, and to free up energy to invest for moving toward positive goals and enhanced lifestyles. The working title for this process is “Finding Your Tone.”

Please comment or send questions to the Stress Education Center at wellness@dstress.com or visit the website at www.dstress.com.

Keys to Connecting with Spirit

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Spiritual Development and Higher Consciousness

People discuss health and wellness in terms of a balance in “Mind-Body-Spirit.” But when we try to pursue “connecting” with our spirit, we can be frustrated because there are so distractions and obstacles in our way to higher consciousness. After 30 years of private practice, I have stumbled upon an important truth about “connecting with spirit.” In very simple terms, if you “quiet your mind,” relax the “distractions” of your body, and find your way into shedding memories from the past or anxieties about the future, you will have set the stage for a better connection with your spirit. One additional ingredient is an “openness” to feel and to explore your spirit.
I am not speaking about religion or any religious training. I am speaking in terms of your own personnel spiritual evolution and experiencing the source of “Universal Consciousness.” (Universal Consciousness, or possibly “Cosmic Consciousness,” will be defined and discussed in a future article.

If you have a passionate desire to connect with your spirit then read on.

Many clients have been referred to my private practice by health professionals who wish these clients to reduce, or eliminate, certain stress related challenges. Symptoms that are created, or made worse, by stress such as: insomnia, high blood pressure, headaches, backaches, poor circulation, GI disorders, irregular or rapid heart rates, panic/anxiety, and some respiratory challenges have all been referred. Of these referrals, 70-80% of the time within 4-6 weeks of our stress management process, I begin to hear about “unexpected positive results.” As the clients begin to practice our stress management techniques, on a daily basis, they begin to grow more skillful at quieting their minds and relaxing their bodies. Often before their symptoms begin to lessen, I hear things that consistently sound like this: “I am sleeping better and remembering my dreams,” or “My dreaming patterns have changed,” or “Things that used to bother me, do not seem to bother any more (or as much.)” My clients report having better attitudes or the ability to connect in positive ways with the people around them. They are less irritated. They have better energy. They make fewer stress related mistakes and this saves them time. They report have a better “balance” and a more positive mental attitude. This opens the door for their connection with “spirit” and the development of their higher consciousness.

Most of the stress management strategies that I teach get people to the same, or a very similar, place. With practice, when these clients find the “right,” stress management strategy and begin to practice it on a regular basis, they report saving time, energy, and feeling better. I believe that this process leads directly to connecting with spirit and changes the way these people experience their lives.

The Stress Education Center’s website has archived blogs & articles that teach these techniques and they are all written out in the best selling, “Guide to Stress Reduction” which you can find in your library or at Amazon.com…. www.dstress.com

If you want coaching or assistance with this process, contact us for coaching or for our 5 session online stress management course (available through the website.)

Please take good care of yourself. Expand your mind and connect with your spirit, it feels great!